“Chenxi, how am I supposed to sit here!” I spread my hands, a helpless expression on my face. The available space on the stool wasn’t even enough for my fist.
“Classmate Chirp, right? Are you mocking me for having a big butt?” Chenxi shot me a sidelong glance, her pupils glinting with a hint of resentment. I couldn’t fathom when I had offended her.
‘Aside from some deep conversations with foreign girls in my dreams, I hadn’t really spoken to anyone in reality.’ When could I have possibly upset her? ‘Or does she simply dislike me? If so, it makes no sense for her to squeeze into the same desk as me. It’s completely illogical.’
“No, that’s not what I meant. You’ve misunderstood.” I quickly shook my head, unsure how to explain myself. No matter if I said the space was too small, or asked her to move over, she would surely think I was implying her butt was big.
Wouldn’t that make me out to be a pervert? If the students started gossiping, the school forum might even feature “Chenxi’s Big Butt” as a trending topic. Was I really that kind of person? Absolutely not.
Cough, cough! To alleviate the awkwardness and, in part, to seek backup, my gaze darted towards Chao.
As expected, he truly was my best friend. Hearing my silent plea for help, Chao stepped forward, leaning towards our direction. With arms crossed and a worldly expression, he declared loudly, “Classmate Chenxi, I, Ma Chao, swear as the president of the Virgin Association, that Classmate Chirp isn’t saying your butt is big. He’s saying your chest is big.”
The silent classroom suddenly erupted in a chorus of coughs and sputtering. Many students even sprayed out the water they had just drunk, all turning to stare at the three of us.
I wished I could burrow into a mouse hole. “Chao, are you trying to save me or kill me? After what you just said, who would believe that my focus wasn’t on whether Chenxi’s butt was big or not? Well, now the entire class knows Chenxi has a big butt.”
“Damn it, what are you so happy about, you idiot! You didn’t solve anything; you just made it worse! And you’re still squinting and smiling? You did that on purpose, didn’t you!”
What puzzled me was Teacher Cang’s absence. Only the class monitor, Shahu Wu, was distributing the test papers.
Teacher Cang truly was something. He always disappeared during exams. If he were here, maybe he could help explain. Now, who could I ask for help?
“Classmate Chirp, Classmate Ma Chao, how could you treat a transfer student like this? She’s a girl, a girl! What about the dignity of our Girls’ Association? Apologize at once!” Shahu Wu strode over, dressed in her black and white school uniform, looking like someone who couldn’t stand injustice. Half the girls in the class stood up, rolling up their sleeves, seemingly ready to eliminate us two virgins from the class.
“Oh, Class Monitor, please spare us! We didn’t do it on purpose, nor were we bullying the new student.” Ma Chao sat on the stool, his calves trembling uncontrollably. This was Chao’s fear of a strong opponent, a fear that came from his very soul. Not just him, I too felt a chill of trepidation and began to retreat.
Chao and I, two boys, with the Virgin Organization as our backing, still feared this female class monitor. We had our reasons. Shahu Wu was not only our class monitor but also a ninth-degree black belt in Taekwondo and one of the three presidents of our school’s Girls’ Association. She even had a history of subduing three thugs bare-handed.
In short, she was someone who could walk sideways in our school. As for Shahu Wu’s figure and appearance, I won’t fully reveal them yet, lest I awaken the masochistic tendencies in many readers.
To put it simply, in the school’s arm strength test, Shahu Wu delivered a punch with 400kg of force. No one could get up after taking one of her punches. It was rumored that her family was very wealthy, and she never sought trouble but also never feared it.
If we truly angered her, dozens of muscular men would likely appear minutes after school, ready to ‘hug us to death’ from behind.
“Chao, Chao, think of something! Hey, what the—that works too!” With a hasty glance, I saw Ma Chao, who had just been ‘battling’ Teacher Cang, now lying on the ground, foaming at the mouth—playing dead.
Shahu Wu stopped a meter in front of me. I took a small step back, and she advanced another step. I had no choice but to take a large step back. I repeatedly blinked at Yamashita Izumi beside me, seeking help. My forehead and palms were slick with sweat, but to my dismay, Yamashita Izumi merely blushed.
Good grief, she was still shy at a time like this! I wished Yamashita Izumi would instantly blacken and enter ‘knife-wielding’ mode.
“I’m not a tiger, why are you running?” Shahu Wu pulled a test paper from a thick stack and handed it to me.
“Oh, no, nothing.” I guiltily glanced at Chenxi, not daring to speak further. ‘I guess I’ll just stand for class today. I’ll bring my own stool tomorrow.’
The class monitor didn’t leave after distributing the papers. Instead, she looked at Chenxi, who was sitting with her legs crossed, propping her chin in her hands.
“Class Monitor, is something wrong?” Chenxi’s tone was extremely arrogant, showing Shahu Wu no respect whatsoever.
Inside the classroom, over thirty students, including me, held their breath, not daring to make a sound. I had a bad feeling that the tigress was about to fight.
Shahu Wu remained silent for three seconds before replying, “Classmate Chenxi, your butt is indeed quite large. If I’m not mistaken, Classmate Chirp’s stool is 45cm long, and it seems that’s not enough for just you.”
Chenxi gritted her teeth in anger; the class monitor was clearly saying this on purpose. However, when it came to a battle of wits, Chenxi would not be at a disadvantage.
“Oh, I never thought the Class Monitor would even know the length of a certain male student’s stool. That means you’ve secretly measured it—not just his desk and stool, but also his height, zodiac sign, and perhaps even his hobbies. Maybe you’ve even secretly followed him. Could it be that you… you like Classmate Chirp? Too bad, he’s my—my—desk mate.”
“Classmate Chirp, please sit. We are quite fated.” Chenxi shifted her butt to the side, freeing up half of the stool. Chenxi provocatively snorted at Shahu Wu, then turned back to me, grinding her teeth. I couldn’t understand why Chenxi’s eyes held such hatred for me.
“This…” I was hesitating when a chilling gaze suddenly made me shiver. Looking up, I saw it was the Class Monitor. I forced an unnatural smile.
Shahu Wu, however, quietly turned, her fists clenched, and said coldly, “You dare…”
The emotionless voice sent shivers down my spine. It was a bare, outright threat, and it was definitely directed at me.
I didn’t usually interact much with the Class Monitor, but things had never escalated to such harsh words. As the Class Monitor left, Chao fully recovered, his eyes fixated longingly on the half-empty ‘throne.’ How he wished he could transform into my best friend, risking broken ribs from the Class Monitor, just to interact intimately with the mixed-race beauty.
However… Ma Chao’s gaze swept over Shahu Wu, and his overheated body instantly entered an ice age, chilling him to the bone.
Just as I was preparing to stand for the entire class to avoid offending the Class Monitor, Shahu Wu walked over again, this time holding a stool.
“Is, is that for me?” I boldly looked up, gazing at Shahu Wu.
She said nothing, walking towards me with decisive steps. Then, as if performing a solemn ritual, she held the stool by its legs with both hands and presented it to me. Her face wasn’t looking at me, but towards Chao’s side. Chao was so terrified by her cold gaze that he fainted.
I asked again, “Class, Class Monitor, are you giving…”
At this moment, the scene was quite comical: the usually aloof and domineering Class Monitor was offering me a stool with a very solemn gesture, yet her face was looking elsewhere. Did she not want to look at me? Did she think I was embarrassing the class by not being able to handle the new student? Just as I was touched by the Class Monitor’s supposed kindness, her cool voice rang out once more.
“Take it!”
“Hai!” I flinched, startled, and ended up answering like a Japanese soldier to an officer. I hastily grabbed the stool.
I couldn’t shake the feeling that the Class Monitor was different today, though I couldn’t quite pinpoint why. I took the stool and placed it in the aisle by the window, sitting down next to the desk.
After handing out the test papers, the Class Monitor sat in the teacher’s exclusive seat at the front desk.
Usually, exams lasted for two periods, but where would the Class Monitor sit after these two periods? And where would I sit?
As I pondered, a rustling sound reached my ears. Turning my head, I saw Chenxi using my pencil to rapidly fill in the answer sheet. Chenxi had just transferred, so she didn’t have a test paper.
“Classmate Chenxi, you’re just randomly filling it in, aren’t you? You’re not even looking at the paper.” While my grades were indeed terrible, I particularly enjoyed the satisfying act of filling in an answer sheet and didn’t want to yield it to anyone. My hand had barely touched the paper when Chenxi pushed it away.
“This young lady is better than you even with her eyes closed. As far as I know, students who sit in the back rows are all terrible at studying, and you’re naturally no exception.” Chenxi defiantly pressed the test paper under her left arm, her right hand continuously filling in the answer sheet. Chenxi was just randomly filling in answers, intending to make her score the lowest, all because he had bullied her first.
“You…” Her words infuriated me. My grades weren’t great, but it was unpleasant to hear someone else say it. Besides, I tried my best, even if I didn’t do well. She, on the other hand, was clearly guessing. Could she really get a high score that way?
I got angry. I moved my stool next to Ma Chao. Anyway, the test paper wasn’t in my hands anymore, so the exam had nothing to do with me.
“Eh? Oh? Chirp, I’m so envious of you. Chenxi is actually taking the exam for you, oh my god! How did you convince her to ‘sleep’ with you? Or did you use some kind of mind control? Big bro, teach me, teach me how to pick up girls! If you still consider me your brother…” Ma Chao suddenly started wailing to me, snot and tears streaming down his face.
I hadn’t realized that what I perceived as bullying was, in Chao’s eyes, me being well-liked by the transfer student. He probably hadn’t heard Chenxi’s words to me, nor her unfriendly tone. I reached out, pinching Ma Chao’s chin and turning his face towards me. I said earnestly, “Don’t be fooled by a girl’s appearance. In reality, she’s not good.”
Ma Chao suddenly squatted down, hugging my thigh, his tears gushing like a broken dam. “Chirp, you’re talking without feeling the pain! You’ve got a soft, warm beauty in your arms, can you please stop rubbing it in? Teach me how to make girls actively approach me! I haven’t had a girlfriend in 13 years! Is there anyone in this world more miserable than me!”
I helplessly rolled my eyes. Chao must have gone crazy from wanting a woman! What about those seniors who had been single for 18 years?