Alone With My Girlfriend at Midnight… and I Have No Idea What to Say

There weren’t many customers in the late night hours. The store was just the two of us.

Finally, we could spend the rest of the time flirting.

I turned to look at Yi Yi. She was smiling back at me.

Seeing her smile, I wanted to say something, but I had no idea what.

I’m a boring person. My conversation skills are mediocre. Jokes or stories that would make a girl laugh… If I told them, they’d just make the atmosphere painfully awkward.

My experience with women is zero. My experience being in a relationship is also zero. All zero.

In my head, I told myself to just act natural.

But… what does “natural” mean?

Damn, I’m suddenly panicking.

How do couples usually act?

Is that inseparable, lovey-dovey feeling something you only achieve after being together for a while and really getting to know each other?

I need to find a topic. Ask what she likes to eat, what her hobbies are—that kind of stuff. It feels like a blind date…

Seriously, I have no experience dating a girl. Yi Yi isn’t the proactive type, and neither am I.

No one spoke first. The convenience store became eerily quiet.

I stared at Yi Yi. She stared back.

It felt kind of stupid…

But I really couldn’t get tired of looking at her.

She was just too beautiful.

As a professional lewd pic artist, I often visit sites starting with P to collect images with great technique that really get a man’s… motor running.

Some of those images I’d bookmark, save, zoom in on, and study carefully.

Comparing Yi Yi to lewd pics might be a little off, but I don’t mean it as an insult. This is genuinely my highest form of praise.

She really is that beautiful.

And now this woman is my girlfriend… Hehe…

“Hehehe…”

A pathetic, lecherous laugh escaped.

I quickly covered my mouth, but it was too late. Yi Yi would definitely think I’m disgusting.

“Darling?”

“Uh, nothing. Don’t worry about it. I mean…”

Why am I so bad with words? Say something!

Damn it. This is the limit of being a virgin shut-in…

We’re already a couple, and I can’t even think of one topic to talk about with a girl.

“Hehe…”

Yi Yi suddenly started laughing too.

That actually made my nervousness disappear. Ah… her smile is also incredibly beautiful.

Wait, why is she suddenly laughing? Is she laughing at me?

“Um, what’s so funny?”

Yi Yi lowered her hand.

“Nothing. I just think… Darling is a good person.”

And she gave me a “good person” card.

If she’d said that before we became a couple, I’d probably think I had no chance.

But now, she probably said it because she saw me talking to Xiao Cheng.

Still, I think I should clarify something.

“No, actually, it’s the opposite.”

“Huh? But Darling did help that boy, didn’t he?”

“Not really. I didn’t actually do anything. It’s easy for me to talk since I’m not the one involved.”

“Is that so… Was that boy being bullied?”

“Yeah. Looks like some punks at school were bullying him, bossing him around, sending him to buy cigarettes. He just happened to come to the convenience store where I work nights, so I stuck my nose in and said a few things.”

“Then wasn’t Darling helping him?”

“No, no. It only looks that way in hindsight.”

“I didn’t come up with the plan because I wanted to ‘save him from being bullied.’ I suggested a terrible idea based on the irresponsible thought that ‘this would be more interesting.'”

It only turned out looking like I’d saved him.

“The fact it worked was just ‘luck this time.'”

Yeah, just luck.

If his plan to tell the teacher had backfired, he probably wouldn’t have come to see me today.

He’d probably be facing an even worse school life.

In the worst case, being driven to suicide wouldn’t be impossible.

“So, I’m not a good person.”

If anything, I’m just an irresponsible bastard who watches from the sidelines, acts smug, and mouths off.

“I don’t quite understand…”

Yi Yi clearly didn’t see the difference. I suppose my values are a bit skewed compared to normal people.

I shrugged and said to Yi Yi,

“If you don’t understand, don’t force yourself…”

“But I want to know everything about Darling!”

But Yi Yi firmly and resolutely insisted on knowing.

She wants to get to know me more deeply… That feeling has been clearly conveyed to me.

Since she’s so determined, I really should think hard about it.

Hmm…

I folded my arms and thought for a moment, carefully choosing my words.

“Hmm… Well, I suppose my definition of ‘saving’ someone is different from most people’s.”

“What is Darling’s definition of saving?”

“I think… saving someone only counts when you act or speak with the will to save them, and the result actually does save them.”

“Acting with the will to save someone…”

“Yes. They say ‘it’s easier to be a bad person than a good person,’ but I think both are the same.”

“Huh?”

“Ah, I mean, without things like morality or laws restricting them, they’re equivalent.”

Good and evil, kindness and grudges, love and hate.

All are “opposites” but “equivalent.”

“In my view, there’s no essential difference between ‘saving someone’ and ‘killing someone.’ Both mean ‘you carry that person’s life on your shoulders.’ That’s too heavy for me.”

The hero who wants to save the world carries the safety of countless ordinary people on their shoulders. The demon king who wants to destroy the world carries the hatred of the entire world.

“So, I’m not a good person. Ah, I’m probably not a bad person either. Just one of the majority—an ‘ordinary person.'”

Damn, I’m embarrassed.

That sounded too chuunibyou.

In real life, you rarely get the chance to actually save someone anyway.

Why am I preaching? The truth is, I just want to look cool in front of Yi Yi.

“So… when Darling spoke to me, was it just because it was interesting too…?”

Yi Yi is smart. She probably understood my somewhat twisted sense of good and evil.

But that also made her doubt what I’d said.

“No, that was different. I said those things because I really like you.”

“Ah…”

“I told you from the start. It was love at first sight.”

How could I not be serious with a woman I like? If anything, I was so serious I was too nervous.

“So if you ask me something, I’ll answer you seriously.”

Yi Yi lifted her head, her small, cherry-like mouth half open. She blushed again.

Yes, yes, that’s it.

Ah~ it’s too cute.

I want to take a picture. Seriously, her shy look is the best.

I already have a private photo of Yi Yi set as my phone’s wallpaper, but… I want to take more.

Hmm… Should I save up to buy a professional camera?

This is probably also a professional quirk. Before, I just wanted to draw beautiful girls. But now, because the ideal beautiful girl is standing right in front of me, I want to photograph her… No, what’s there to hesitate about?

Yeah, I’ve decided. Save up. Buy a camera.

I’ll take photos like crazy!

I’ll capture her—my ideal made real.