Self-loathing

However, just as they were about to lose all hope.

A miracle happened.

Their daughter miraculously recovered!

Not only did the illness that had plagued her for years disappear without a trace.

Her body grew healthier day by day.

Soon, she was no different from a healthy girl her age.

This was a joyous occasion.

The only problem was, the couple clearly felt that their daughter’s personality had changed a lot.

Before, although she was weak while lying in her sickbed, she was obedient and sensible.

She also liked to talk to them and act cute.

After she recovered, it was as if she had become a different person.

She became quiet and cold.

It was as if an invisible wall had been erected between them.

Their relationship had become much more distant.

Although they felt sad, as long as their daughter was still alive.

And could smile healthily.

And could still appear before their eyes, that was enough.

They didn’t dare to ask for too much, only hoping to watch over her and protect her.

Countess Payen hesitated for a moment.

She forced a gentle smile and tried to speak again.

“Jianye, our family hasn’t gone out for a walk together in a long time.”

“I heard that the lilies of the valley by Lake Qatar have all bloomed these past few days. They’re very beautiful.”

“You loved this kind of flower the most when you were a child. Every time you saw them, you couldn’t walk away. How about we go tomorrow…”

Before she could finish, Jianye sighed and interrupted her softly.

“I’m sorry, Mother.”

“I have plans with a classmate tomorrow.”

Countess Payen’s words came to an abrupt halt.

Her expression became a little awkward and disappointed. She said, “Oh, I see… A promise with a classmate certainly can’t be broken. It was thoughtless of me.”

Jianye nodded.

She put down her knife and fork, wiped the corner of her mouth with a napkin, and stood up.

“I’ve finished eating. I’m going back to my room to read.”

After speaking, under the watchful eyes of Earl and Countess Payen, she turned and left the dining room.

Watching their daughter disappear around the corner of the stairs.

The Countess let out a helpless sigh.

Back in her room.

Jianye walked straight into the bathroom.

She filled the tub with hot water and soaked herself in the warmth.

As if she wanted to wash away some kind of invisible pressure.

She soaked in it for a long time, until the skin on her fingertips was slightly wrinkled, before she came out wrapped in a bathrobe.

She sat down at the dressing table.

In the mirror, the young woman who had just stepped out of the bath had hair like a waterfall, her skin was a faint pink, and her features were stunningly beautiful.

As Jianye looked, a strong sense of unreality welled up in her heart again.

She reached out and pinched her own fair arm hard.

“Hiss.”

A clear pain came through.

The young woman in the mirror frowned in pain, her eyes slightly red.

The pain was a cruel reminder.

This was not a dream; it was reality.

Jianye suddenly found it a little funny, a trace of bitterness in her smile.

‘A monster that has possessed someone else’s body.’

She thought to herself.

Who could have thought.

Within the shell of this teenage noble girl.

Lived the soul of a 28-year-old adult woman from another world?

A former financial elite, skilled in calculating interests.

She had so shamelessly occupied this body that should have belonged to “Jianye Payen.”

Lived in this home that originally belonged to someone else.

Wore her school uniform, used her name and identity, and shamelessly returned to school.

Lived this campus life that seemed full of youthful vigor, but in reality, made her feel disconnected.

Her gaze fell on the volunteer uniform on the hanger.

She found it even more ironic.

Who could have thought that a such a refined and self-interested financial elite, whose every action was based on risk and return.

Would now be a volunteer at school?

And had even become friends with a teenage girl.

And used the social skills of an adult to thrive among a group of students.

And even secretly felt happy that she had a high popularity among the students.

“Xiao Ruoli… you really are shameless.”

She said silently to herself in the mirror.

Her eyes were filled with complex self-examination and self-loathing.

In fact, she knew very well what Earl and Countess Payen were thinking.

She was not unaware of their careful, almost humble love.

But, she couldn’t respond.

The more they cared for her, the better they were to her.

The more she wanted to escape.

It was as if that warmth was something she had stolen. With every extra moment she enjoyed it, the guilt in her heart grew heavier.

After all, she was not their real daughter.

Not the “Jianye” they had loved for more than a decade, right?

What right, what reason did she have to enjoy the fatherly and motherly love that should have belonged to someone else?

They were not her real parents either.

In the world she might never be able to return to, she had her own father and mother.

She was very afraid.

Afraid that if she accepted the love of the Payen couple here.

And naturally called them “Dad” and “Mom.”

Over time, she would completely forget what her real parents looked like, forget their voices, forget their love.

In the end… she was not a person of this world.

Jianye closed her eyes tiredly.

When she opened them again, before her was still that magnificent, western-fantasy-style bedroom.

Carved furniture, flickering magic lamps, soft velvet carpets…

Everything reminded her of her reality.

Jianye fell onto the large, soft bed.

Staring at the intricate murals on the ceiling, she became more and more confused.

When she first came to this world, she was extremely panicked and terrified.

The instinct to survive, under the guidance of that system, had made her stronger, step by step.

Subconsciously, she had brought the work style of her previous life here.

A financial elite who always chased the highest efficiency and the optimal rate of return.

She knew this world was very dangerous.

To survive, she had to improve her strength.

To become strong enough to protect herself.

Therefore.

At that time, she couldn’t tolerate a huge, unforeseen variable like Black.

A qualified financial elite would never allow any unplanned factors to disrupt their carefully calculated optimal return plan.

If there were, then she would find a way to eliminate them.

But later, the plot completely collapsed.

That system also seemed to start slacking off.

The quests it issued became more and more strange, revolving around Black.

She lost a clear direction for her strategy and could only rely on her own judgment and efforts to fumble her way to becoming stronger.

To be honest.

Her current strength was much greater than at the beginning.

And the plot crises from the original novel.

For some reason, had all disappeared.

As if they had been resolved by someone.

Everything had gone too smoothly.

As a transmigrator, Jianye fell into a deep confusion.

What was the meaning of her existence in this world?

Was it just to live?

Memories of her previous life surfaced.

In her original world.

She was born into a rural family.

An ordinary family, ordinary looks, ordinary figure, ordinary personality, ordinary mind…

She had barely managed to get excellent grades by grinding.

She had made her way from a backward village to a key middle school, then a prestigious university.

The price was that her youth had been too quiet. So quiet that by the time it was over, she hadn’t even realized it.

There was no fantasy prince charming, no vibrant campus life, no secretly hidden blushes and heartbeats, none of the many beautiful things she had longed for in manga.

Only the loneliness of going to school, eating, and studying by herself.

The only thing she could remember.

Was the huge, heart-shaped firework a boy had set off in her third year of high school to confess to the school belle.

At that time, a ripple had stirred in her heart for the first time.

‘How wonderful,’ she had thought.