The Paradox of the Pitiable Maltese

—What? You got them all right?

That night, I had another dream about that person. Their face was blacked out, impossible to see, but I knew the moment I heard the voice. It was the person who always tormented me. Yet, today of all days, their voice was remarkably gentle.

—See? You can do it if you try.

The test papers that were usually torn into shreds remained intact today. I took the paper with trembling hands, and the person raised their hand. Reflexively, I ducked my head.

A moment later, I slowly opened my eyes. It was because they were stroking my hair with such tenderness.

—If you’re this capable, why couldn’t you do it before?

—I-I’m sorry.

—Right, you should be sorry. Do you have any idea how much I suffer because of you?

—…Y-yes. Of course I know. That’s why I’m always sorry to you.

—If you’re truly sorry, keep studying hard. Got it?

The person stood up and continued.

—Let’s do just as well on tomorrow’s final exam. This is your reward.

They pulled a large cheesecake out of the refrigerator. A flush rose to my cheeks involuntarily.

—Ta-da! Your favorite cheesecake.

They held out a fork to me.

—See? I’m the only one who looks after you, right?

I nodded vigorously. They cut a slice and offered it to me; I held out both hands to receive it, still tense. But then—

Splat.

The cheesecake hit the floor. The moment I looked up reflexively, the person let out a blatant sigh. Then, they raised their hand.

Slap. My head snapped to the side. The person knocked over the rest of the cake and stood up.

—Typical. I wondered when you’d stop acting like a moron for once today.

With those final words, they were gone. I was left alone in front of the mangled cheesecake, tears streaming down my face.

“I’ll have herbal tea and a plain scone. Cecil, you’re having coffee and cheesecake, right?”

“……”

One Monday, I shook my head at Ronia’s question.

“No, I’ll just have coffee.”

“Really? That’s new. You usually can’t resist cheesecake.”

The order arrived. Ronia asked while spreading cream on his scone.

“By the way, your vibe is a bit different today?”

“Ah, is it?”

I was currently wearing the clothes Senior Serman had bought me.

“I have a Library Department social today.”

“Is it mandatory?”

“No, it’s just for whoever wants to come.”

“Then why are you going?”

“I told you. Senior Serman promised to help me fix my reputation.”

“Ah.”

“Just you wait. I’m going to change my nickname from ‘Mad Maltese’ to ‘Good Maltese’ and become a friend you can be proud of.”

“I’m not sure a ‘Good Maltese’ is particularly something to be proud of either…”

“…Is that so?”

“Anyway, don’t overdo it. Did you tell Michael?”

“Of course. He’s coming to pick me up after the meeting.”

“Ugh, I wish I went to the same school as my fiancée.”

“Speaking of which, didn’t you say she was self-studying jewelry crafting at home?”

“Yeah. She says magic-based gem crafting is fun.”

“……”

I stared at Ronia silently for a moment before asking.

“Hey, by any chance… does she take commissions?”

“Sometimes, why?”

I whispered into Ronia’s ear. Ronia’s expression turned serious.

“You’d better have a lot of money ready.”

“Don’t worry. I have savings.”

“I’ll write her a letter as soon as I get back to my room.”

“Thanks a lot. Well, I should head to the meeting now.”

“Right. Make sure to tell me everything that happens when you get back!”

“Got it!”

I threw on the cloak I had set aside—fearful of staining it. Even now, it felt as soft and light as if I weren’t wearing anything at all. I headed toward the meeting spot.

The location was a garden behind the Academy. Academy gardens can host gatherings as long as you have permission from the caretaker. I checked my attire one last time before entering. No matter how many times I checked, I felt anxious.

Was it because this was my first time attending such a social voluntarily? I was taking a deep breath when I sensed someone.

“Hello, Cecil.”

“Hello, Senior Serman.”

The Senior, who was always surrounded by people during Library Department meetings, was alone today. He complimented me the moment we met.

“Your clothes suit you remarkably well today.”

“Thank you. You look great too, Senior.”

“Thank you. Shall we go in?”

We walked into the garden side by side. The first thing I saw was a table spread with fragrant tea and various refreshments. The members who had arrived early and were chatting stared at us with wide eyes. Serman gave a thin smile.

“Hello, everyone.”

I quickly greeted them as well.

“Hello.”

Oops. I forgot to smile while greeting them. Senior Serman told me I had to smile no matter what when greeting people. I tried to force a smile belatedly, but the students had already swarmed toward Serman. They fawned over him.

“Senior Serman, why are you so late?”

“Exactly! We thought you weren’t coming today. If you’re not here to keep Senior Fernando in check, this department turns into a madhouse.”

“We saved a seat for you. You can sit over there.”

Serman gently pushed them back.

“I’m sorry, but I’d like to sit with Cecil today.”

“Pardon?”

“He asked for my help in adjusting to the department… right, Cecil?”

I nodded quickly. Serman led me to an empty seat as smoothly as a knight escorting a lady. As we sat side by side, the students who had long been on Serman’s side scrutinized me with eyes full of jealousy and curiosity. Just as my entire body tensed up, Serman spoke in a voice only I could hear.

‘Relax your face.’

Ah, facial expressions. Facial expressions. I forgot again. I quickly put on the smile I had practiced so hard. At that, the students flinched simultaneously.

What? There was no way a smile approved by Senior Serman could be weird. Were they offended that the person who usually looked like death was suddenly smiling? I quickly checked Serman’s reaction. He looked as satisfied as a well-fed cat.

“Has Fernando not arrived yet?”

“Yes, he’s running about twenty minutes late on an errand for the Professor.”

“Then I’ll go get a bit of fresh air for a moment.”

Wait, what? This wasn’t in the plan. I looked at Serman with panicked eyes, but he stood up and said, “Cecil, talk with the other members. It’s a good chance to get close.”

Before I could process it, I had nodded, and Serman was walking away. Left facing the members, I repeatedly clenched and unclenched my fists. My palms grew damp instantly. I was barely maintaining my smile when one of the students spat out:

“You certainly are thick-skinned.”

Here it comes. I immediately shrunk into myself.

“Do you have any idea because of whom Senior Serman lost the presidency? And yet, you still want his help?”

“Exactly. So shameless. Why are you clinging to Senior Serman all of a sudden?”

“Don’t tell me you were weighing your options and only joined our side because you realized Senior Serman is kinder?”

The students glared at me fiercely.

“If that’s really the case, we won’t stand for it.”

“……”

I curled in even more and spoke.

“You’re right.”

“That’s right! I knew you—wait, what?”

“I am very thick-skinned. I’m sorry. I’ve done something terrible to Senior Serman and to all of you.”

From their perspective, it was only right to hate me. Because of me casting a blank vote, Senior Serman had lost the presidency in a ridiculous draw settled by lots. If Senior Serman had a combative personality like Senior Fernando, I probably would have been beaten up under the guise of a “duel.”

Even I thought I was being shameless. I was so indignant about Senior Fernando’s insults that I had requested an SOS from Senior Serman. So, I should apologize. I spoke honestly.

“No matter what you say, I have no excuse.”

“……”

“If it makes you uncomfortable for me to be here, I’ll just leave.”

The students, who had been staring at me blankly, snapped out of it and shouted.

“D-do you think saying that will make us feel guilty?!”

“That’s right! It is uncomfortable. Go on, leave!”

“You parasite!”

I accepted that too, dejectedly.

“You’re right. I am a parasite.”

As I admitted that fact with my own mouth, my shoulders slumped. The students flinched again.

“I can’t do anything on my own even at this age. Someone like me should have dropped out a long time ago.”

“…N-no. I didn’t mean you should drop out.”

“No, I should have dropped out right after the incident in the first year. Because of that, I even lost the top student position.”

“B-but you’re the runner-up! Being the runner-up is incredible! Seriously, if it weren’t for that incident, Cecil, you would have been the valedictorian!”

“You’re right. If I had just endured a little bit more back then, I would have been at the top. Wow, I’m realizing it again—I have no patience. I really should just drop out…”

“No! You can definitely be the top student this time! I heard your recent presentation was excellent!”

“…That was only because my teammates helped me so much.”

“Hey, I heard you were the team leader. If the leader does well, the team does well. Isn’t that right, guys?”

“Exactly! The team only feels like working when the leader is good!”

“You’ll definitely be the top student this time!”

I was bewildered. At some point, these people had started cheering for me.

“Do you want some cake? You’ll feel better if you eat something sweet. Hey, didn’t you say you brought a really delicious chocolate cake?”

“Oh, yeah! I’ll go get it right away!”

The students stood up and whispered to each other as they walked away.

“Oh no, my heart hurts for him.”

“He really is like a Maltese. I thought he was just a blunt kid until now.”

What on earth was happening? I looked at them with confused eyes and realized something. They had only intended to hazing me a little, but when I came at them with such a low posture, they clearly got flustered. So, instead of bullying me, they ended up comforting me.