Chapter 23: Doubt

Engagement.

A simple word that means promising to marry.

To some, it is a warm and close word.

To others, it is a disgusting word that makes them feel disgusted just by looking at it.

Perhaps the Brilliant Duke, who strongly insisted on breaking off the engagement between Lian and Elena, was the latter.

At least according to the original work, that was the case.

He even mentioned that he hated his past self who tried to marry his daughter Elena to Lian.

So much so that the Duchess who was next to him tried to stop him.

So much so that Elena, who had been quietly listening to the story, stared blankly at the Duke.

-….. Yes. That was what I was curious about.

“It’s been a while. Even just the two of us being together like this.”

“……What are you thinking?”

“Huh?”

“Why did you suddenly drag me in to talk?”

I was very curious about what the woman in front of me was thinking right now.

Because there was no way she wouldn’t know.

Because that woman, who was as clear and intelligent as those clear blue eyes in the world, couldn’t not know the current situation.

She would already know everything.

What does it mean that Princess Layla is dragging me away so blatantly in front of her?

Layla wasn’t stupid.

She wasn’t stupid enough to not guess why Princess Brillian would drag her away in front of her fiancé.

She probably already concluded that it was one of two things.

“Either the rumors that they’re not on good terms are lies.”

“……Or, is it an urgent situation that requires her to take me away in front of her, the princess? Right?”

Elena said with a bright smile.

I just nodded quietly while watching her.

‘…As expected.’

As expected, Elena had already finished judging how her actions would be perceived by others.

What would Layla think when she saw this?

If this news spread to others, how would the rumors spread?

Everyone was already smiling as if they had expected it.

“……So, what’s your business?”

“What’s your business?”

“Why did you suddenly bring me here?”

As I watched Elena like that, I felt even more incomprehensible.

Because there was no reason.

No matter how much I thought about it, there was no reason for Elena to talk to Lian Trice alone.

‘……The original’s broken engagement is still far away.’

It couldn’t have been a broken engagement.

Elena and Lian’s broken engagement happened a long time after the midterms, after the original’s main character, Damian, made his name known to all the characters.

I didn’t think the breakup would have happened early.

According to the information Ellis had given me, the Brilliant family had just started gathering materials for the breakup.

Duke Brilliant, who was considered the most cautious of the characters, wouldn’t have rushed to handle a task that involved his daughter, Elena, let alone someone else.

That’s why the current situation was even more confusing.

“…”

“…..Business. Business.”

I couldn’t read the mind of that woman who was sitting quietly with her chin resting on her hand and looking at me.

So, a little later, Elena, who had been thinking for a while, took a sip of the coffee she had ordered in advance and said.

“Does this really need to be business?”

“What?”

“Don’t you think it’s strange, Lian? Why would I need a reason to see my fiancé’s face?”

“……Ha.”

After hearing the answer, I couldn’t help but laugh weakly.

Because it was so absurd.

Because it was so absurd that such words would come out of Elena’s mouth, of all people.

Of course, that wasn’t wrong.

People who have already promised each other a future wouldn’t need any special reason to see each other’s faces.

That’s what an engagement is.

That’s what it means to promise a future marriage.

“… How long do you think it will last?”

“…”

“How long will this relationship between you and me last, Elena?”

It’s just that our relationship wasn’t a typical engagement.

It was a relationship that would soon end.

It was a relationship that would disappear as if it had never happened in the distant future.

As if nothing had happened.

It was a relationship that would disappear like dust as if nothing had happened.

As someone who knew the ending of Lian Trice in the original, it was a fact that I knew very well.

“Isn’t that so?”

“……I didn’t think you’d already heard the news.”

The woman in front of me, who was making a bitter expression, knew this fact even better.

‘……A bitter expression.’

In fact, I had a hard time understanding that bitter expression.

Because the other person was Elena, who had been looking at me like everyone else until just a little while ago.

Elena didn’t believe me either.

Even though I didn’t agree with the others who were pointing fingers at me, it was Elena who gave me the fierce gaze that was the hardest for me to endure.

Elena, of all people, was making such a bitter expression.

How could I accept that fact?

No, it was practically impossible to accept.

It was already past the time to accept this fact.

“You’re right. Dad is already preparing to break off the engagement.”

“…”

“And, this is why I came to see you because you were curious. I think it wouldn’t hurt if you prepared in advance.”

These were words that I might have been touched by in the past.

Something had changed.

The fact that the engagement was being broken off hadn’t changed, but at least Elena’s consideration, which wasn’t there in the original, had appeared.

My efforts had finally paid off.

I might have been purely happy.

“……What’s the real reason?”

“……Huh?”

“The real reason you came to see me. I don’t think you came to see me just to tell me that you should prepare for the engagement breakoff.”

If I were in the past, I would have been suspicious.

It was one of the habits I had developed while living here.

Maybe it was natural.

Having hope meant, on the contrary, being disappointed.

I had believed in the word faith for a long time.

I had believed in the word hope for just as long.

While trying.

While working hard and doing my best, I believed in the two words that tempted me more brilliantly than any other word.

‘……It was meaningless.’

The result was the result that everyone knew.

They say that the greater the expectation, the greater the disappointment.

After experiencing great disappointment, people give themselves over to a sense of emptiness.

And that too, by force.

They are forced to wander in an emptiness or helplessness that they cannot resist.

And after experiencing such an experience.

At least after experiencing such an experience, it is inevitable that they will develop the habit of doubt.

Because humans are creatures that remember.

Because they are creatures that remember all the emotions they have experienced.

With the thought that they do not want to experience it twice.

With the thought that they do not want to experience the terrible emotions twice, they begin to doubt.

“…In the past, and now. I cannot fool you after all.”

“…”

In most situations, such doubts were correct.

Elena began to speak with much calmer eyes than before.

“That’s right. I was just going to bring up the subject of the broken engagement because I wanted to see your reaction. Although you already knew, so I could not see your reaction.”

“…”

“Anyway, this isn’t the answer you want. The reason I came to see you was because of Aria.”

“……Aria?”

Aria Trice. The name of the person who is now my younger sister flowed out of Elena’s mouth.

“Yeah. I wanted to ask you why you made Aria cry that day.”

“….”

“I originally wanted to ask you right away. As you probably know, I was away for a while after that day.”

Somehow it got this late.

After finishing speaking, Elena looked at me quietly as if she was waiting for my answer.

“…”

“Would you mind telling me why you made Leah cry that day, Lian?”

I didn’t have time to pay attention to that gaze.

‘……What was the reason?’

Because I couldn’t explain to myself why I had pushed Aria Trice to the point of making her cry that day.

It felt like I had been hit with a hammer.

It was as if a fact I had never known before had suddenly come to mind.

What could it have been?

Why did I push Aria that day?

Even in common sense.

Even for my goal of living comfortably.

I knew better than anyone that there was no need to go that far.

I must have known.

I must have read the original work and knew better than anyone that there was nothing good about being linked to the main characters in the original work.

However, the result was already out there.

Even though I knew that fact, I pushed Aria Trice to the point of tears that day.

I couldn’t understand it at all.

At that time, I couldn’t understand why I had just glossed over this fact, thinking that it just seemed like it had to be that way.

-It just seemed like it had to be that way.

-It seemed like Lian Trice and Aria Trice would have to continue to be on bad terms.

……I couldn’t understand why I believed that Lian Trice and Aria Trice had to be on bad terms at that time.

That’s why I couldn’t answer.

“… Looking at your expression, I feel like I’ve heard an answer to some extent.”

I couldn’t answer Elena, who was looking at me with a subtle expression that I couldn’t guess what she was thinking.

“…”

“Today was fun, Lian. I hope to see you smiling next time.”

Even when Elena, who smiled slightly and said, “Will you smile at me then?”, got up from her seat.

-I drank well.

-Goodbye!

Even when I quietly got up from my seat and left the store while being bid farewell by the employee.

“What kind of coffee would you like to drink today……”

“…”

“Why are you sitting here with such an idiotic expression?”

Even when time passed and Elena, who had come in with a cheerful expression, found me and her expression crumpled.

I couldn’t find the answer.

Even then, I couldn’t find the answer.

Just like an idiot.

If I continued to doubt, I thought maybe the answer would come to me.

I just stared at the spot where Elena had disappeared, absentmindedly wandering around, searching for the answer that would never come to me.