The Emperor’s Shield

In the frozen silence after he blurted out that name, the passage tightened around his member. Sanggang ejaculated while staring at the man’s face, whose eyes were glazed as if he had lost his mind. As his essence was pulled deep inside, a chilling shiver ran down his spine.

He had been feigning ignorance, but now he finally realized. He realized how desperately he had wanted to hold that painter like this. He understood why he had looked for any trivial excuse to visit him, constantly showering him with gifts.

A thick wave of regret washed over him. An indefinable weight, accompanied by a sharp prickle of displeasure, pressed heavily on his shoulders. Did I really want him that badly? Sanggang buried his face against Sohwa’s heaving upper abdomen and let out a long, heavy sigh.

Dammit. Even after releasing his seed, there wasn’t a shred of relief. He was simply furious at himself for his late realization, resentful toward the painter for dying so heartlessly, and disgusted with his own failure to protect him. While Sanggang remained motionless with his face buried, a trembling fingertip touched his shoulder.

“Your Majesty… are you, hss… alright?”

Startled by the faint, fading voice, he lifted his head. His vision was met with surprised eyes half-hidden by disheveled hair. Nothing in that flushed face resembled the one he longed for, yet that naive way of speaking was steeped in a familiar nostalgia.

Sanggang parted his lips as he watched the man struggle to lift his upper body. But no sound came out. Mok-ah. He wanted to call out to the dead. But because it wasn’t his face, and because it wasn’t his eyes, he could not bring himself to do it and had to close his mouth again.

Sanggang stood up abruptly. He haphazardly fastened his undergarments and strode out of the bedroom. Hearing the startled eunuchs scrambling to follow him, he fled Bogyeongdang as if escaping. Only when he inhaled the freezing dawn air did his senses finally return.

I shouldn’t have done it. I truly shouldn’t have done it. He lifted his head to see the moon shimmering through the white mist of his own breath.

Mok-ah, are you there? What are you doing there?

Sanggang searched for that beloved face in the darkness behind the moon. But there was only shadows; his painter was nowhere to be found in the black expanse of the sky.

As Sanggang stood frozen, a eunuch came out and draped the imperial dragon robe over his shoulders. While they busied themselves adjusting the clothes of the motionless Emperor, Sanggang swallowed a hollow laugh.

I was so foolish. I didn’t even know I would miss you this much.

In the early hours after the Emperor left, Jinmok fell into a sleep like a coma. No, he had fainted. It was more accurate to say his mind had simply let go because he could no longer hold onto consciousness. When he opened his eyes again, his entire body was stiff and racked with fever.

Was it a severe cold? For Sohwa’s frail body, the night with the Emperor had been far too violent. The places the Emperor had mercilessly invaded felt raw and throbbed with a dull ache whenever he moved. His chest, which had been bitten and sucked, felt numb and stung every time the fabric of his clothes brushed against it.

And yet, he didn’t hate it. Even if it was in another’s body, he had been held by him. He had achieved what he never dared to dream of in his previous life as a lowly painter. He had no more lingering regrets. He felt as though he could ascend to the afterlife this very moment.

From the moment the Emperor entered him until the moment he left, Jinmok had not been in his right mind. He had been driven to the brink by the pain and the heat. He couldn’t even clearly remember what he had seen. Only the vivid sensation of that searing heat piercing between his legs remained.

“What should I do?”

“What do you mean, Guest?”

Had he muttered his thoughts aloud? He snapped back to his senses at the sound of Yungyo’s voice, who was nearby wiping the sweat from his brow. Jinmok blushed, feeling humiliated that he had been harboring such lewd thoughts in front of the child.

“It is nothing. The fever must be making me talk nonsense.”

It wasn’t entirely a lie. After the Emperor left, Jinmok had collapsed and spent the entire day suffering from a boiling fever. After Yungyo wiped him down and helped him into a fresh inner robe, the boy spoke cautiously.

“I heard that a Royal Decree of Rank will be issued soon.”

“A Decree of Rank?”

“You have served His Majesty, so naturally, you must receive a title.”

Jinmok’s lips parted in shock before he finally managed to find his voice.

“I am a person of Gyeong.”

“The guest who stayed here before was also a concubine of the late Emperor. One’s origin is not that important when it comes to receiving a title.”

“But was she not a woman?”

The difference between her and Sohwa, a man, was far too vast.

“In Tae, men can also receive titles, so do not let it trouble you.”

The world suddenly turned yellow before his eyes. What if word of this reaches Gyeong? What happens to Sohwa if he returns to find he has become a concubine in someone else’s body? Jinmok only now felt the full weight of what he had done.

Oh dear, a disaster has struck. A true disaster. His fever spiked. Jinmok clutched his forehead and slumped back onto the bed. How am I supposed to handle this?

Agonizing over the news of the decree, Jinmok had fallen into a fitful sleep until the afternoon, when something hot touched his forehead. His consciousness, which had been submerged deep, surged to the surface as he caught a faint scent of musk.

“Your Majesty.”

Jinmok whispered in a small voice, a soft smile playing on his lips even before he opened his eyes. The warmth that had briefly pulled away touched his forehead again. It was only after the hand that wiped his damp brow withdrew that Jinmok finally opened his eyes.

“Are you awake?”

The low voice brought his flickering consciousness into sharp focus. As he startled and tried to sit up, the Emperor pressed down on his shoulder.

“Your fever is high. Do not move.”

“I am sorry, Your Majesty.”

His words came out slurred because his tongue was heavy from sleep and sickness. The Emperor let out a short click of his tongue and sighed.

“To be this frail…”

The Emperor pressed his warm palm against Jinmok’s forehead again. It felt as if his skin, chilled by cold sweat, was catching fire. His eyes grew heavy and began to flutter shut again. But he couldn’t possibly fall asleep with the Emperor right there.

As he forced his eyes wide, the Emperor let out a mocking chuckle.

“Keep them closed. But do not fall asleep; I have something to tell you.”

“Your grace is immeasurable…”

With permission granted, his eyes closed shamelessly. Even though the area grew cold when the Emperor’s hand pulled away, he couldn’t easily open them again. The problem was that with his eyes closed, his mind was beginning to drift.

“You must have heard about the Royal Decree. I have something to say regarding that, so listen well.”

The Emperor’s low voice did nothing to chase away sleep. If anything, it made him drift further. Since he wasn’t angry, the deep, smooth voice sounded like a lullaby.

“What… what did you say?”

Having drifted off and missed the Emperor’s words, Jinmok blinked his eyes open blankly. Through a vision blurred by fever, he saw the Emperor’s furrowed brow.

“Once you become a concubine, there is a task you must perform.”

“What task do you speak of?”

The Emperor replied with a click of his tongue, looking none too pleased.

“You will be my one and only concubine—my favorite. I have told you to be prepared, as I shall seek you out every single day.”

Jinmok thought he had misheard. Favorite concubine? While he sat there blinking, the Emperor’s expression grew even more curt.

“I intend to use you as my shield.”

“A shield, you say…?”

The Emperor gave a dry smirk.

“I hear rumors are circulating that I am impotent.”

Good heavens. Jinmok’s jaw dropped, only for the Emperor to flick his chin up to close it.

“There are other annoyances as well. You do not need to know the details; you simply need to pretend to be the concubine who receives the Emperor’s love.”

The Emperor suddenly gestured toward the back of the room with his head. Jinmok followed his gaze to the table, where wooden boxes of various sizes were placed. Beside them, stacks of silk reached as high as the boxes.

“Pay special attention to your appearance when you go out. The Chief Eunuch will assign several attendants and court ladies to you.”

“Those things are…”

“My affection.”

The way he spoke so nonchalantly was utterly indifferent. Affection? There wasn’t even a trace of it. And yet, the mere word made Jinmok’s heart race. It was as if the love he had trampled down and buried was forcing its way through the soil once more.

Jinmok swallowed a hot breath and covered his flushing face. He could feel his heart thumping against his palms. His head throbbed. Is it alright to be happy? Can I really be this glad over a hollow word?

Closing his eyes tight and opening them again, Jinmok reached out and timidly tugged at the sleeve of the Emperor, who was still looking toward the table.

“I… I do not desire such things.”

The Emperor turned his head, his lip curling into a smirk.

“From now on, you must not refer to yourself as ‘I’ in my presence. You should properly call yourself ‘your humble servant.’”

“I… I am not sure, Your Majesty.”

Jinmok felt his voice trembling and swallowed hard.

“I have explained it all myself, so what is it you do not understand?”

“Do you not… hate me, Your Majesty?”