A Day Meant to Burn

It was a hug that felt somehow sorrowful.

The fact that I could now perceive his pheromones meant that my damaged senses were slowly recovering.

I thought I would feel happy about the possibility of getting better…

“Hyung, I can’t breathe.”

“Sorry.”

Even as he apologized, Woo Jaeyoung didn’t loosen his grip.

Through our pressed bodies, I could clearly feel his heartbeat, a little faster than usual.

Being held so tightly made my entire body tingle.

After squirming for a moment, I relaxed and leaned into him as if melting.

“Then let’s stay like this a little longer.”

A long silence followed.

With my eyes closed, I breathed in Woo Jaeyoung’s pheromones as much as I could.

The rich scent flowed thickly, seeming to soak from the crown of my head down my shoulders and along my back, drenching my entire body.

It was dense, but not violent—a scent that felt like it could protect me from everything in the world, wrapping around me layer by layer.

Even without memories surfacing, my body remembered, and that alone made me feel at ease.

“What if you really aren’t Yoo Sowon.”

Woo Jaeyoung’s voice trembled slightly.

“I still see Yoo Sowon in you.”

“Do I resemble him that much?”

“Yes, and no. That’s why it’s confusing.

When I think you resemble him, you don’t.

When I think you don’t, you do.”

It occurred to me that Woo Jaeyoung must be just as confused as I was.

If not for his stubborn refusal to let me go, he probably would have pushed me far away already.

I raised my hand and gently patted his back, slowly.

“You’re having a similar dilemma to mine.”

“What dilemma are you having.”

“What if you’re right.”

“……”

“Even though I know I’m not him, even though I know there are memories that can only be explained by possession, I still think that sometimes.

Because I don’t even know who I was before this.

If I could at least remember my name, it might be different… but I don’t even have that.”

I don’t know my name, my age, or what I used to like.

Even as I piece together my life from faint fragments that surface in my mind, those memories feel like mirages.

As I spoke slowly, Woo Jaeyoung pulled me even closer.

It was as if he wanted to press me into himself entirely.

Even in this suffocating embrace, I let out a small laugh at the thought that someone his size could act this clingy.

“Whether I’m Yoo Sowon or not, I keep feeling like I’m doing something I shouldn’t to you.

If I’m really him, I’d feel sorry for forgetting everything and making you suffer like this…

And if I’m not… well.”

A sudden sense of injustice surged up at the thought that I wasn’t ‘Yoo Sowon.’

Right now, when everything was blurry and confusing, the only thing clear to me was Woo Jaeyoung.

Even knowing it wasn’t mine, I wanted to lose myself in this warmth, just for a moment.

I admit it.

I was being drawn to him.

“Hyung, you’re really in trouble. What are you going to do?”

I deliberately spoke in a brighter tone, trying to lighten the heavy mood.

“You felt sorry for Yoo Sowon, so you were trying to redo everything from the start, acting all earnest and willing to do anything.

But now there’s someone else inside, so doesn’t that mean you got completely scammed?”

“So that’s how it works?”

“Of course.

What if I recover my memories very, very slowly?

Or what if I never recover them no matter how hard I try, and just decide to live like this because it’s easier?”

Then whether I’m really Yoo Sowon or not wouldn’t matter anymore.

I’d just keep living like this.

“You’d have to wait forever. For the one who ran away with the child you made together. Or give up and accept me instead.”

I pulled back slightly and cupped Woo Jaeyoung’s cheeks with both hands.

He lowered himself obediently, letting me hold him.

“Then Yoo Sowon would be pitiful, right?”

His pitch-black eyes quietly stared at me.

“I think you’re pitiful too.”

“You don’t even know who I am.”

“No matter who you are.”

His arms fell from around my waist, and just like I had done, he held my cheeks in both hands, gently rubbing them with his thumbs.

His palms, which had felt slightly cool, warmed up, passing that heat onto me.

“Whether you’re Yoo Sowon or not, I’ll still pity you.

Even if you’re just a lost soul that wandered in, that won’t change.”

“……”

“Not even knowing what the hell the person in front of me is, and seeing how absurdly starved you are—enough to fall for a bit of kindness—I’ll probably feel my heart ache every single time.”

After hesitating, I spoke honestly.

“Being with you… sometimes makes things difficult for me.”

When this story ends, I have to return to where I belong.

But this moment feels so peaceful that my resolve to leave keeps loosening.

Maybe it’s okay if I don’t recover my memories.

Does it really matter where I came from or what I used to do?

Can’t I just stay here?

I feel like I could be happy living like this.

I thought I didn’t even know what I wanted, but when I lean into this touch, it feels like this is what I had been longing for.

And so, even knowing it wasn’t mine, I wanted it more and more.

I wanted to cling to this fleeting moment and pretend it was forever.

I wanted to close my eyes and take what wasn’t mine anyway.

I wanted to selfishly make use of the affection he showed ‘Yoo Sowon.’

I wanted him to like me.

I wanted him to hold my hand, meet my eyes, smile at me, and embrace me warmly.

“Hyung… you’re like the sea to me.”

Like that sea from the very beginning of my memories.

Like cold seawater that soaked through my entire body and shattered into white foam.

“I’m so thirsty that I want to swallow you whole.”

But even then,

I’d still be thirsty.

Much more than before.

“…Sowon.”

Woo Jaeyoung let out a low laugh.

I couldn’t tell if it was joy, anger, guilt, or irritation.

It felt like all of them at once, and none of them at all.

His breath brushed against my forehead and the bridge of my nose.

His dark eyes burned as if he wanted to kiss me right then.

And yet, I could clearly see him holding himself back, trying to keep the promise he made before I opened the door.

“Our situation is pretty fucked up, isn’t it.

Everything’s a mess, and there’s barely anything we can actually fix. Right?”

“Yeah.”

“We think way too much compared to what we can actually do.”

“That’s true.”

“Then let’s think about just one thing.”

He lifted his hand slightly and gently brushed my eyelids with his thumb.

Following his touch, I slowly closed my eyes.

“Let’s say we only live for today.”

Forget yesterday, don’t imagine tomorrow.

Just today.

His whisper fluttered by my ear like the wings of a dying butterfly in a cold wind.

“Kid. If your life was only one day long, what would you want to do?”

When I closed my eyes, there was nothing but darkness.

“…What kind of test is this?”

“It’s not a test. I’m just curious.

When I think about it, you always looked lonely and thirsty.

Like now.

The only difference is whether you showed it or not.”

His voice, adding that he realized it too late, was unbearably gentle.

“I wondered what you’d desire if you were honest with yourself.”

“Did you ask me this before?”

“Yeah. When we first met.

You were thinking so hard with that tiny head of yours, so I told you to keep it simple.

Life can end anytime, so you don’t have to look that far ahead.

If your life was only today, what would you want to do?”

“What did I say?”

“You said you wanted to paint.”

Woo Jaeyoung laughed out loud.

“I wondered if some ghost that died without being able to paint possessed you.

You said there was something you absolutely wanted to draw, blinking those bright eyes… it was kind of cute.”

“……”

“Stop changing the subject and answer now.”

Our gazes tangled in the air.

He was looking at me.

His calm yet intense gaze felt like it could see through even the soul hidden inside me.

My hesitation didn’t last long.

“I…”

I stood on my toes and lightly placed my hands on his shoulders.

Woo Jaeyoung straightened slightly, lifting me just enough that I naturally leaned closer into him.

If I could only live for one day.

If I didn’t need to think about yesterday or worry about tomorrow.

If a life without even the time to question who I am fell into my hands.

Then I—

“I want to kiss you.”

I shut my eyes tight as I blurted it out recklessly.

Woo Jaeyoung responded with a soft kiss.

Like a bird pecking, his lips touched mine lightly and pulled away, repeating a couple of times.

A ticklish feeling bloomed in my chest, and I opened my eyes slightly.

Our gazes met again.

I couldn’t endure it anymore.

I didn’t even know what I couldn’t endure.

“Hyung.”

My voice was so quiet it barely left my lips, just brushing against my lower teeth.

But he answered as if that was enough.

“Yeah.”

“Aren’t you going to close your eyes?”

“If I close them now, you’ll be the one in trouble.”

“My life doesn’t seem easy anyway, so if I’m going to be in trouble, can’t you be the one to make it happen?”

“You really…”

Woo Jaeyoung’s brows furrowed deeply.

His dark eyes gleamed dangerously.

“You’ve got no fear at all, do you.”

“And whose fault is that?”

“You never lose an argument, do you.”

His hands gripped my cheeks firmly, and our lips met again.

Tilting his head, he covered my lips completely in an instant, pulling me forward as my body tilted back.

Standing on my toes with all my strength, I responded to the kiss.

The heat that stirred inside my mouth was intense, and the scent pouring over my head was overwhelming.

If Yoo Sowon’s life was only one day long,

I wanted to fill all twenty-four hours with Woo Jaeyoung.

No—

I wanted to burn them with him.

Like roses that throw themselves into flames without fear, even knowing they’re destined to wither away.