The Hamster Retrieval

Following a faint crimson glow, a massive building emerged into view. Though its age made me uncertain, it appeared to be the headquarters of Frisk. Before the entrance, fully armed thugs loitered idly, seemingly anticipating something.

“Now that I’ve hit max level, I suppose they won’t bother giving out proper rewards anymore.”

‘The system seems to be malfunctioning, refusing to grant me anything.’ ‘How utterly bothersome.’

“The quintessential party composition is undeniably a warrior, a mage, a rogue, and a healer, wouldn’t you agree?”

‘Indeed, for any RPG, this configuration stands as a time-honored tradition.’ I nodded to myself, a faint sense of satisfaction washing over me.

‘I had anticipated being captured.’ ‘Truth be told, even death held no particular dread for me.’ ‘Still, I wasn’t about to squander the opportunity.’ ‘An event had finally presented itself where I could make a truly dramatic entrance, and who was I to refuse such an indulgence?’

‘Rewards? Experience points? New characters?’ ‘I possess all of those already, rendering them largely unnecessary.’ ‘If it offers entertainment, that’s sufficient.’ ‘Isn’t that the fundamental essence of gaming?’ ‘Nothing truly matters more than appearances.’ ‘Especially now, when I’m unable to even venture out to hunt demons.’

Having relied solely on teleportation for travel, I knew the lay of the land but remained utterly oblivious to its actual roads. In such a predicament, I resolved to find enjoyment in other pursuits.

From my inventory, I retrieved an ensemble designated as ‘Oath of Pure White (Male)’. This particular attire mandated the simultaneous wearing of both its top and bottom components, rendering them inseparable. ‘What exactly is this?’ I mused.

It was a wedding ceremonial attire, and incredibly opulent at that.

The suit, a pristine white, was lavishly adorned with intricate lace, delicate frills, and a dazzling array of diamond embellishments. It gave the impression of a walking wedding bouquet, its pure white fabric shimmering with a glitter effect that made it glow. Completing the ensemble, I slipped on pristine white shoes and elegant silk gloves embroidered with silver thread.

My chosen weapon was a staff, painstakingly plated with platinum. ‘To any observer, I must appear as a newly wedded groom,’ I thought.

“Hmm. Although, I’m actually heading to a funeral, not a wedding.”

‘Given that both occasions involve gathering people in a church for prayer, perhaps the distinction is negligible?’

I changed right there on the street, drawing curious stares from every passing NPC. Frankly, I found myself too indolent to even ponder their reasons for gawking, so I simply dismissed their reactions. ‘Ah, now that I think about it, I lack a white flower-adorned hat.’ ‘A pity, but there’s nothing for it.’ ‘I’ll just craft a new one later, I suppose.’

Adorned in my finery, I strode confidently into the Frisk headquarters, even humming a cheerful tune to myself.

‘I’ve always pondered this,’ I thought. ‘Typically, one waits for the entire event scene to conclude before initiating an attack, correct?’ ‘I simply cannot fathom why protagonists invariably endure all that ridiculous blabber.’

“Isn’t it a fundamental truth that the first strike guarantees victory?”

Thwack!

With that decisive sound, a thug’s skull burst open, scattering its contents. The remaining thugs, who had been staring blankly as though witnessing a lunatic, recoiled in terror, scrambling to draw their blades.

“Wh-who are you?! This is Fri—!!”

“Damn it! Just get this bastard!”

‘He seemed poised to utter something, but my preemptive strike to his head abruptly cut him off.’ ‘Most likely, it would have been some hackneyed line, perhaps questioning my audacity in trespassing.’ ‘Humanoid NPCs truly exhibit such predictable patterns.’ ‘A man’s head has just been obliterated; what possible dialogue could ensue?’ ‘They should simply charge forth without delay.’

‘Low-tier opponents, in particular, are utterly devoid of entertainment.’ ‘Their attacks are insultingly simplistic and utterly pathetic, amounting to little more than clumsy weapon-flailing.’ ‘High-tier adversaries, however, employ genuine skills, cast formidable magic, and activate cunning traps, which at least provides some amusement.’

“You’ve absconded with our adorable hamster. Return him, and I shall depart.”

“Hamster nonsense?! You won’t escape unsca—!!”

“It seems no one here is capable of providing a coherent answer.” “Even as mere trash mobs, humans prove rather uninteresting.” “They yield no worthwhile drops either.”

Initially, they charged in a disorganized mob, but soon, some of the stragglers in the rear began to flee. Only those who emerged belatedly continued to rush toward me. ‘I truly can’t comprehend how abysmally low their levels must be to succumb after merely a few strikes from a staff.’

‘Nocturne, it seems, is truly an event character.’ ‘This assumption is bolstered by his involvement in such low-level, beginner-friendly quests.’ ‘Still, his inherent charm renders the point moot.’ ‘After all, he’s effectively prevented me from becoming overly immersed, hasn’t he?’

‘Jack and Faust are genuinely good individuals, but prolonged association with them invariably leads me to the delusion that this world is real.’ ‘They are, to put it mildly, excessively kind.’ ‘Ultimately, good-aligned characters simply don’t align with my nature, even though I myself barely manage to uphold a good alignment.’

‘The slaughter committed during a companion retrieval mission does not accrue evil alignment.’ ‘This is because it is, quite literally, a rescue operation.’ ‘While accepting Nocturne’s quest would have been acceptable, classifying this as a companion retrieval proves far more beneficial for maintaining my current alignment.’

“Will they be upset?”

‘If I remain silent, they’ll be none the wiser; even if I speak, it will merely result in a slight dip in my affection points.’ ‘After all, they weren’t following me out of genuine fondness, but rather as a scoundrel attached to an unexpected quest.’

The building’s layout proved remarkably straightforward. ‘Naturally, it wasn’t a noble’s mansion, nor did it necessitate facilities for any grand or intricate purpose.’ ‘Secret mechanisms? Hidden chambers? Who gives a damn.’ ‘Simply demolish everything in your path, and all will inevitably be revealed.’

‘Naturally, such reckless destruction would be utterly impossible in high-tier zones like castles or ancient ruins.’

Having indiscriminately slain and shattered everything within reach, the initial wave of attackers had vanished. They had all fled. Amidst the scattering figures, resembling cockroaches caught in a sudden beam of light, I pressed onward, guided by the faint crimson glow.

Presently, I discovered a set of stone stairs descending deeper, and I clomped down them. ‘The path is incredibly constricted,’ I observed. ‘It’s far too inconvenient for easy ingress and egress.’ ‘Though, for my purposes, their difficulty in escaping is quite advantageous.’

Upon reaching the bottom, I found myself in a rather spacious room, liberally adorned with torches. ‘Directly connected, then?’ I mused. ‘Typically, they’d install bars and attempt to create the illusion of a proper prison.’ ‘It seems they refuse to invest in areas not readily visible.’ ‘Such a deplorable lack of artistic sensibility.’

“Where is our hamster?”

“Y-you, who in the blazes are you?!”

“Ah, there he is! I’ve found him. I couldn’t locate him for dinner.”

‘Utter nonsense,’ I thought. ‘It will likely be dinner time by the moment I depart this place; currently, it’s still quite early.’

Nocturne was bound tightly to a wooden chair, his form smeared with blood. He gazed at me with evident difficulty, panting heavily, clearly quite exhausted. The individual wielding a short knife directly in front of him appeared to be the boss, while the others seemed to possess relatively higher levels.

Six men, Nocturne among them, fixed their gazes upon me. I sighed in dismay upon witnessing Nocturne’s battered face.

“The sole redeeming quality of our household hamster lies in his face; if you disfigure it like this, he becomes utterly worthless.”

“…Um, you are here to rescue me, aren’t you?”

“I was quite occupied; I couldn’t even attend to my crafting, yet I came directly here because of you.” “Could you not offer a slightly more enthusiastic welcome?”

“I lack the energy now, but I will offer you a proper welcome once we are outside.”

“No. That won’t be necessary. I have no desire to witness the fawning of a grown man.”

“I genuinely don’t understand what you expect of me, Sir Haut.”

They merely observed me with caution, none daring to attack. ‘Naturally, my current appearance is far from normal.’ ‘My pristine white ensemble must be thoroughly stained with blood, leaving behind viscous, dripping trails.’ ‘Even my staff was a gruesome sight, clotted with bits of flesh that had yet to be fully dislodged.’

‘Even so, with more than half of it still white, doesn’t it retain a certain beauty?’ ‘It will merely resemble a garment embroidered with rose patterns.’ ‘I had envisioned a rather impressive entrance, but Nocturne was far more battered than I’d anticipated, leading to a rather underwhelming reaction.’

“A-are you ‘The Nameless One’?” “Here for vengeance?”

“Revenge? What revenge? I’m unaware of what you speak, but no.” “Moreover, Nocturne, your mouth is far too loose.” “Have you already divulged everything?”

At my words, Nocturne, who had been slumped in apparent exhaustion, let out a hollow, bitter laugh before speaking.

“Even so, I couldn’t simply allow myself to perish, could I?”

“Indeed, it’s preferable to expiring over something utterly trivial.”

“I had rather expected you to be furious.”

“Why would I be angry? I never concealed anything.” “Everyone simply chose to forget on their own accord.”

‘More accurately, I simply refrained from speaking of it.’ ‘If deliberately leaving no traces counts as concealment, then perhaps I did indeed hide it.’ ‘As long as my infamy score remained unblemished, I saw no issue.’ ‘After all, within the system’s parameters, there were never any NPCs who were unaware of my name.’ ‘It is this current state, where no one recognizes me, that feels truly anomalous.’

‘Still, it’s rather disheartening to learn that while I was once known, I’ve now been forgotten at some point.’

The individual who appeared to be the boss gestured, and the remaining four men charged. Their efforts, naturally, proved inconsequential. They possessed no genuine skills, at best utilizing damage-boosting items. A few strikes from my staff were all it took to dispatch them.

‘I can’t see the boss’s name.’ ‘Ah, I have the name display turned off.’ ‘Even if I turned it on, it probably wouldn’t work now.’

The man, trembling visibly, pressed his knife against Nocturne’s throat.

“I-if not for revenge, then why have you come?!”

“To retrieve the small, insignificant furball over there.”

“What? What kind of nonsense is that—”

“I came for our hamster. I haven’t even had a chance to give him sunflower seeds for his cheek pouches yet.”

“D-don’t come any closer! You’ll see this bastard d—!!”

Crack!

A spray of blood erupted. Ah, I must have thrust with the tip of my staff, causing his head to be pierced rather than properly shattered. He toppled backward, collapsing to the ground. There seemed to be nothing worth looting anyway.

I retrieved a potion from my inventory, administered it to Nocturne, and untied his bonds.

“What is this? Just a plain rope without any enhancement magic? Why couldn’t you untie it?”

“If I possessed the skill to untie it… I wouldn’t have been captured, would I?”

“Good heavens. His HP pool is truly minuscule, like a grain of rice. Full health from the smallest potion?”

Checking his status confirmed my astonishment. I had intended to feed him the potion and then treat his injuries, but to think a single dose would resolve everything! Bandages and other necessities seemed utterly superfluous. I had hoped to subtly raise my affection points in the process.

“I’d only heard that potions were expensive, but I never imagined they’d be so potent. Though it seems they don’t cure pain.”

“To be reduced to near-death from a mere superficial tear in your skin is frankly an overreaction on your part.”

“A typical human, sir, would consider a finger-deep stab to the side a critical injury.”

“Humans don’t perish so easily. They won’t die even if their intestines spill out. This one is simply too dramatic.”

He was far weaker than I had imagined, leaving me speechless. Furthermore, his whimpering over such minor injuries suggested a severe lack of fortitude. Who dies from this? Even NPCs don’t die from severed limbs, let alone a mere scratch to their outer skin.

“Why aren’t you getting up?”

“…I’m exhausted.”

“You’re all better, though?”

While his energy levels were depleted, his actual health had been fully restored. What could possibly be the problem? As I stared blankly, he seemed to curse me with his eyes. Though no words were spoken, the sentiment was palpable.

The progress of human technology is truly astonishing. Hey, developers, you could do this all along!

Still, I hadn’t expected such a rapid upgrade. They should have provided some adjustment time. Sometimes, they seem so genuinely human that it sends a shiver down my spine these days.

“You’re far too high-maintenance. They say it’s best for hamsters to be handled less.”

“Please, for the love of—!! Ugh, cough!! What, what is this?!”

I lifted him effortlessly. Yes, precisely what we commonly refer to as a ‘princess carry.’ As I abruptly hoisted him, Nocturne gasped in surprise, then instinctively wrapped his arms around my neck.

“Could we, perhaps, alter the mode of transportation? Anything would be preferable.”

“Why? The visual is quite striking, isn’t it? Wedding attire, my rather handsome character model, and you’re quite comely yourself.”

“That pristine white ceremonial attire is dripping crimson blood, and I, though handsome, am practically a ragged mess.”

‘Isn’t that precisely what makes it cool?’ ‘This one… ah, he’s an NPC, so he probably hasn’t seen noir films.’ ‘In movies, this look is quite effective.’ ‘It’s a shame there’s no background music, though.’

“I’ve considered it, but carrying you slung over my shoulder would resemble transporting a corpse. And if I carried you on my back, I’d lose all my cool, which I dislike. It would look ridiculous from behind.”

“Perhaps the ridiculous option would be marginally better, all things considered.”

“But carrying someone like this is what’s truly stylish.”

As I tilted my head, he visibly bristled, then shrieked.

“Please! Just! Ugh, cough!!”

“Don’t shout. Internal injuries take a bit longer to heal.”

“You should have mentioned that sooner—!! Cough!“

What a truly bothersome individual. While his recovery was complete, the pain would linger for a while longer. He had just acknowledged this himself, so why he felt the need to demonstrate it physically, I couldn’t fathom.

On our way out, an unusually large number of NPCs seemed to gather and stare. Not that I paid them any mind anymore. When we returned to the hotel, the two individuals there certainly recoiled in horror at the sight of us.

‘My companions seem far too faint of heart.’