Ye Di’s Clever Diversion

By the time Ye Di emerged from the apothecary, the dense crowd outside was already in a furious uproar. Someone in the throng reached out, shoving one of the apprentices with considerable force.

“If you don’t let us in, we’ll tear down your [Yifang Hall]!” they bellowed.

The apprentice stumbled back several steps, ultimately landing hard on his backside.

Frantically, he propped himself up with one hand, his legs flailing against the ground as he scrambled backward. “You, you people, is there no law left?!” he cried out.

“Law? Human lives *are* the law!” someone retorted. “You refuse to treat us, so we’ll tear down your shop!”

With the crowd’s fury reaching a fever pitch, it was clear the two apprentices could no longer hold their ground.

Sitting on the apothecary’s threshold, Ye Di beckoned one of the apprentices closer. “It seems your reputation among the neighbors isn’t exactly stellar,” he remarked.

Wiping sweat from his brow with his sleeve, the apprentice offered a bitter smile. “Please don’t tease us, sir. Normally, these unruly people wouldn’t dare act out, thanks to Doctor Luo’s reputation. But with this strange illness plaguing the city, order is already fragile. They have nothing to lose, so they’re causing trouble.”

Ye Di questioned, “Where are the officials? Aren’t they sending anyone to manage this?”

The apprentice sighed, “You know as well as I do that no one wants such a thankless task. Besides, Doctor Luo has never been on good terms with the authorities. Even the Prefect has tried to visit him multiple times, only to be turned away.”

Ye Di nodded. “You two can go inside; I’ll handle them.”

The two apprentices, as if granted a reprieve, hastily scurried into the inner room.

Ye Di slowly rose and approached the crowd. “My dear neighbors and townsfolk, please quiet down and hear me out, if you would,” he requested.

The clamor subsided slightly, yet hundreds of angry gazes remained fixed upon him.

Ye Di, unfazed, continued, “Doctor Luo is unable to see patients because he is unwell and lacks the strength. Perhaps you all could return home for today, and come back for treatment in a few days, once Doctor Luo has fully recovered?”

One person retorted, “Doctor Luo’s medical skills are exceptional; how could he suddenly fall ill without reason?”

Ye Di chuckled. “Physicians often struggle to heal themselves; it has always been so.”

Another person cried out, “We don’t care! Everyone capable of working in our homes has fallen ill. If we wait another ten days or half a month, who will tend to the newly planted fields?”

Suddenly, someone recognized Ye Di as the man who had brought Xu Niantang in for treatment earlier. They immediately shouted, “Damn it! I knew there was a reason you were trying to stop us! Someone’s already inside seeing a doctor, and this fellow is here to block us!”

With that, a fist swung directly towards Ye Di’s face. Ye Di deftly blocked it, then, with a swift counter-move, seized the man’s wrist and immobilized him.

A ‘crack’ of bone echoed. As Ye Di released his grip, the man collapsed to the ground, howling in agony and rolling about, clutching his broken wrist.

A collective gasp rippled through the stunned crowd.

Ye Di abruptly strode towards the center of the crowd. Intimidated, the people hastily parted, making way for him.

Before long, Ye Di’s figure vanished at the end of the street.

A moment later, he reappeared, astonishingly carrying a snarling stone lion in each hand.

A sharp-eyed observer quickly exclaimed, “Wait, aren’t those the two stone lions from in front of the Lei Martial Arts Academy?!”

Ye Di carried the stone lions through the parting crowd. In the open space before the apothecary, with two resounding ‘thuds!’ he placed them down, one to his left and one to his right, kicking up a cloud of dust.

Witnessing this incredible sight, everyone was utterly dumbfounded.

Having settled everything, Ye Di returned to his seat on the apothecary’s threshold. “I’ve said what I needed to say,” he announced. “If any of you are still dissatisfied and wish to dismantle this shop, then please, first carry these two stone lions back to where they belong.”

A profound silence fell upon the surroundings, lasting for a considerable moment.

Suddenly, a man rolled up his sleeves and stepped forward, bellowing, “What a charade! I bet these two stone lions are just props from a theatrical troupe, barely weighing an ounce!”

As he spoke, he lowered his stance, wrapped his arms around one of the stone lions, and prepared to exert his strength to lift it.

Yet, after a long while, the stone lion remained utterly motionless. Instead, the man’s knees trembled, his face flushed crimson, and sweat beaded profusely on his forehead.

Whispers erupted among the crowd. “It looks like this single stone lion weighs at least a thousand catties, doesn’t it?”

“Indeed, and rumor has it the two lions at the Lei Academy entrance are particularly heavy, made with no compromise on the stone quality.”

“Then how could that… that young hero, just now, lift one in each hand with such ease?”

“Even Constable Tan couldn’t manage such a feat, could he?”

“Shh… speak softly. If the young hero hears us and remembers our faces, we’ll be in trouble!”

The man attempting to lift the stone lion ultimately overexerted himself. His sweaty palms slipped.

With a resounding ‘thump!’ he toppled backward, stars bursting before his eyes.

The crowd, startled, quickly created a small open space around him.

Out of genuine concern, Ye Di advised, “He truly needs a physician to examine him, lest he suffer any internal injuries.”

For the next hour or so, various individuals—burly heroes, disciples from prominent sects, and wandering martial artists—came forward to try lifting the stone lions.

Despite exerting every ounce of their strength, they all returned defeated.

Ye Di thought to himself, ‘Finally, some peace and quiet.’ Yet, a new procession appeared at the end of the street, carrying a coffin directly to the entrance of [Yifang Hall].

As the lacquered coffin was heavily dropped onto the ground, Ye Di frowned. “And what brings you here, sir?” he inquired.

The man leading the group, his head wrapped in a green cloth, declared, “Your [Yifang Hall] has caused someone’s death! The body is lying right here!”

He pointed towards the coffin, and the surrounding onlookers immediately recoiled, their brows furrowed in disgust.

“Pah! Bad luck!”

Another person muttered indignantly.

Ye Di glanced at the coffin. “The patient you claim was treated to death is inside?” he asked.

“Exactly!”

The man urged, “Go on, call that Luo Yifang out here at once and make him give us an explanation!”

Ye Di shook his head. “There’s no need for him; I can provide you with an explanation myself.”

“You? What kind of person are you to even presume—”

The man sneered. Before he could finish, Ye Di suddenly leaped, landing beside the coffin. He reached out, grabbed the lid, and flipped it open in one swift motion.

The crowd gasped in shock. “How… how could this young man act with such disrespect…?”

To their surprise, Ye Di merely peered inside, a knowing smile playing on his lips.

He gripped the edge of the coffin with one hand, lifting it directly until it stood almost upright on the ground. “See for yourselves, is there even a shadow of a person inside?” Ye Di challenged.

Already, some of the more timid onlookers gasped in fright and squeezed their eyes shut.

One person hesitantly peeked, then immediately exclaimed in surprise, “It’s true! It’s completely empty! There’s nothing inside!”

At his words, everyone else quickly looked. The coffin was indeed empty; there was no corpse to be found.

Ye Di explained, “This coffin is heavy due to its materials. And judging by how you carried it earlier, there seems to be nothing extra inside. While a deceased person loses significant weight from dehydration, there would still be a slight difference.”

The green-scarfed man leading the group was speechless. Internally, he cursed, ‘Damn it, I should have committed to the act properly and stuffed some burlap or straw inside.’

Ye Di reached out, closed the coffin lid, then gracefully sat upon it himself. He smiled. “Brother, did you perhaps learn that I’ve contracted an incurable illness and specially come to deliver a coffin to me?”

The green-scarfed man’s eyes widened. “You, what did you say?” he stammered.

Ye Di replied, “Unfortunately, I contracted a plague a few days ago—was it ‘smallpox’ or ‘measles’ or something similar? In any case, my days are numbered. I was just fretting over not having the funds for a coffin, and you, my friend, thoughtfully delivered one right to my doorstep.”

Upon hearing this, the onlookers erupted in a clamor of alarm.

The green-scarfed man’s voice trembled. “Then you, you, you, you—”

Ye Di continued, “Years ago, I happened to meet Doctor Luo once. Before my impending demise, I decided to entrust my younger sister to his care; I am not here seeking medical treatment.”

Whispers spread through the crowd. “I heard smallpox is a goddamn terminal illness! They say the founding emperor himself died from it years ago…”

“Oh no, this disease is supposedly contagious! He just touched me!”

“My god, let’s hurry home and scrub ourselves clean, then find another physician to check us over. We don’t want to catch some strange illness!”

With this commotion, the crowd surrounding the apothecary dispersed in a sudden rush.

In the blink of an eye, only Ye Di remained, sitting alone on the threshold.

He smiled, thinking, ‘This tactic always works; it certainly brought immediate peace.’

Suddenly, someone approached from behind and gently tugged at his sleeve.

Ye Di turned to see Xu Niantang. “Why aren’t you inside? Have you rested well?” he asked.

Xu Niantang’s complexion had improved slightly, likely due to some nourishing medicinal meal prepared by Luo Yifang.

She looked up, her eyes wide and expectant, at Ye Di, who was still seated on the coffin.

Ye Di said, “Xu Niantang, do you want to experience what it’s like to sit on this coffin? Don’t move, I’ll help you up.”

He slid his hands under her armpits, lifting her steadily. After placing her on the coffin, Ye Di remarked, “Xu Niantang, you still don’t eat enough; you’re too thin. The two stone lions I just carried were much heavier than you.”

Xu Niantang blinked in confusion.

Ye Di noticed the young girl lowering her gaze, seemingly examining the coffin. He couldn’t help but ask, “Why are you staring at this coffin so intently? Your hobbies aren’t really *that* unique, are they?”

After gazing at the coffin beneath her for a moment, Xu Niantang turned her head. Her eyes, dulled by illness, looked somewhat listless, yet her tone was firm. “Bad guy, this coffin can fit two people. If you die, I’ll lie in it with you.”

Ye Di froze. He suddenly realized Xu Niantang had been fooled by his earlier lie about ‘smallpox.’

He could only explain helplessly, “Xu Niantang, I told them I had a terminal illness to scare them away. How else would I get rid of them? You’re on my side; how could you fall for that trick?”

Xu Niantang, still somewhat dazed from her fever, could only ask blankly, “So, you won’t die?”

“That’s right, I won’t die.”

Xu Niantang brightened slightly. She had been worried her habit of kicking off blankets might continue in the coffin, potentially hurting him.

She smiled, then rested her head against the bad guy’s shoulder. Her tense nerves finally relaxed, and she quickly drifted into a deep sleep.

Ye Di gently held her hand, his gaze rising to the fiery clouds painting the horizon. As the sun dipped in the west, the two figures on the coffin, one large and one small, cast shadows of varying lengths upon the ground.