He Was Kind Without Meaning To Be

“Try this. It’s good.”
Haeyoon slid the salad plate in the center of the table toward Jeongha as he spoke.
Jeongha, who was about to bring some lasagna to his mouth, alternated his gaze between the salad and Haeyoon’s face.
Haeyoon asked with his characteristically cool expression.
“What? Don’t you like salad much?”
“No. I like it.”
“……?”
“It’s just… I thought it was very considerate of you.”
Haeyoon tilted his head slightly with a puzzled look.
“Is suggesting someone try a bit of salad such a considerate act?”
His tone suggested he couldn’t relate at all.
Jeongha burst out laughing and continued.
“No, it’s not just that… It’s something I’ve been feeling all along.”
Every time he spent time with Haeyoon, there were moments like that.
The consideration, the subtle attentiveness, the warmth that flowed out as naturally as breathing—aspects he normally wouldn’t have expected from Seo Haeyoon at all.
It was like a gentle wave washing over a sandy shore, and Jeongha’s heart was swept away helplessly, like the sand.
“People do often say I’m surprising.”
Haeyoon replied, seeming to understand what Jeongha meant.
In fact, one of the phrases Haeyoon had heard most in his life was, ‘You’re full of surprises.’
You looked really cold, you looked scary, you looked rude, but you’re surprising.
Since it was mostly meant as praise, Haeyoon adapted to those comments without much issue.
‘Your first impression is so different.’
He expected Jeongha to add something along those lines as well.
“Actually, I don’t really like overly affectionate people.”
However, Jeongha’s next words went in a completely different direction.
“I find it awkward.
It’s a hassle.
They act affectionate because they want to, but then they get hurt if you don’t treat them just as affectionately in return.”
Haeyoon knew those kinds of people too.
People who couldn’t understand that everyone has different personalities and judged him according to their own standards.
People who criticized him for not immediately returning their friendliness in kind.
But Haeyoon didn’t think that was a problem with ‘affection’ itself.
It was just those people’s problem.
“They get friendly on their own, expect things, get disappointed, then cry and say I hurt them.”
On one hand, he understood Jeongha’s point.
Baek Jeongha was someone who attracted attention wherever he went.
Even if it wasn’t Ahn Seonwoo, Haeyoon had seen and heard countless instances of interest directed at Baek Jeongha throughout his school days.
The fact that many people talked about him also meant there were many rumors.
People easily gossiped about how indifferent, fickle, and coldly Baek Jeongha played with people’s hearts.
Haeyoon set down his fork.
He’d suddenly realized something.
Back in those days, Haeyoon had been one of those who viewed Baek Jeongha negatively based solely on Seonwoo’s words.
Without ever experiencing Jeongha deeply himself, he had judged him simply for being cold to Seonwoo.
He hadn’t badmouthed Jeongha to others, but the thought that Jeongha had endured such perceptions for a long time weighed on his heart.
Though Haeyoon was tolerant, the words and gazes of people who judged his personality on their own and built walls against him hadn’t been entirely painless.
Haeyoon, who was about to continue speaking, noticed the sudden shift in Haeyoon’s mood and paused briefly.
Jeongha, sensing the changed atmosphere, closed his mouth for a moment.
“I just realized I never properly apologized to you.”
Jeongha was slightly taken aback.
“Apologize? For what?”
“In the past… I only listened to Seonwoo and thought badly of you.”
When Haeyoon brought up something he personally hadn’t even held onto, Jeongha let out a light scoff and shook his head.
“Ah, what’s that?
You were Ahn Seonwoo’s friend back then, so of course you would.”
“Yeah.
Back then, it was understandable.
But not now… It’s not that, and since I know I judged you wrongly, I think I should apologize.”
“…….”
“I’m sorry.
For making a rash judgment without really knowing you.”
It wasn’t just Jeongha who was discovering new sides of the other person during their time together.
Even if he had joined in like it was a game, just for simple fun, Jeongha had been sincerely present for every moment with Haeyoon.
He didn’t judge rashly, he didn’t mock, and he understood Haeyoon’s slow, cautious steps, sometimes offering his own form of comfort.
It wasn’t that he seemed indifferent or lacked sharp edges.
But even someone sharp and indifferent could have a gentle side.
Haeyoon was discovering that side of Jeongha, little by little.
Jeongha silently looked at Haeyoon for a long while, mulling over his words.
People sometimes spoke lightly about Baek Jeongha.
Even if the words were rude or potentially hurtful, it didn’t matter.
Baek Jeongha wouldn’t care about such things anyway.
He wasn’t the type to get hurt by others’ words.
Even though they weren’t Baek Jeongha, people easily judged what he must be like.
He didn’t really mind.
In truth, Jeongha wasn’t hurt by their pathetic talk.
He had never even thought about wanting an apology or that he might receive one.
But Seo Haeyoon had apologized.
A man who had at best listened to his friend’s complaints and sympathized was now saying he was sorry for judging him rashly, for thinking wrongly back then.
“Well… I didn’t say that to get an apology.”
Jeongha mumbled, uncharacteristically avoiding eye contact.
He felt like his insides were a complete mess.
At first, he just thought Haeyoon was an interesting person contrary to his looks, but now, whenever they were together, he kept getting hit with unprepared blows.
“I was just trying to say… that for some reason, I like it when you look out for me, hyung.”
Jeongha weakly blurted out the words he had intended to say, as if fleeing.
Under normal circumstances, he would have delivered that line like a flirtatious remark.
“I haven’t really looked out for you much, though.”
After dropping such a huge bomb in someone’s heart, Seo Haeyoon remained calm and composed.
The only one left in tatters was Baek Jeongha.

* * * *

After finishing their meal, the two bought coffee and took a brief walk in a nearby park.
Perhaps because it was daytime, the sunlight was pleasant, and the unusually warm weather made for a nice walk.
It was a park frequented by students due to its proximity to the university, and Haeyoon had also spent a lot of time here when he was in school.
Every scene he passed was dense with memories.
“Should we sit for a bit? Are you cold?”
“Huh? Ah… sure. I’m not cold.”
But Jeongha couldn’t focus on the scenery or anything around him.
Not that he was focused on Haeyoon either.
Baek Jeongha was just slightly out of sorts.
He’d never had difficulty being with another person in his life, but today, for some reason, everything about Seo Haeyoon was difficult.
Yet, he didn’t want to part from Haeyoon, and that was the problem.
At that moment, Haeyoon, who had been sitting quietly on the bench for a while, cautiously opened his mouth.
“Jeongha.”
Jeongha.
Why did the simple resonance of his voice, just calling his name, make his heart flutter so restlessly?
The emotional turbulence he’d never experienced before kept confusing him.
Haeyoon continued right away.
“Do you have something on your mind?”
“…On my mind?”
“Yeah. You’ve looked troubled in thought since earlier.”
“…….”
“Was that a presumptuous question?”
Jeongha, who had been inwardly tense, let out a light laugh at the follow-up question.
He thought it was funny to worry about whether asking if someone had worries was overstepping.
He was an amusing person, indeed.
Jeongha shook his head and spoke.
“Why worry about overstepping with something like that?
And I don’t have any worries.
I guess I was just thinking about something the professor asked me to do earlier.”
“Ah, I see.”
Haeyoon accepted it without much suspicion.
Not because it was a plausible answer, but because Seo Haeyoon simply didn’t seem like the type to easily doubt others’ words.
Come to think of it, that’s probably why he didn’t realize what Oh Jaeyeol and Ahn Seonwoo were up to until he saw it with his own eyes.
Not to mention the times Seonwoo would badmouth Haeyoon without being asked, even during group meals with Jaeyeol, he often subtly disregarded Haeyoon.
It wasn’t overt, but anyone even slightly sensitive would have noticed.
But Seo Haeyoon didn’t get angry, and Oh Jaeyeol didn’t show any particular reaction either.
Jeongha had assumed there were problems between them.
He thought they all knew there were issues.
Until then, no, even for a long time after, he truly hadn’t known that Haeyoon trusted both of them so steadfastly.
If he had actively intervened back then instead of passing it off as someone else’s business, could Seo Haeyoon have avoided being hurt?
Could he have avoided this humiliation?
Meaningless assumptions quickly flashed through his mind.
“Oh, here….”
At that moment, Jeongha, who had unconsciously lowered his gaze, noticed something and spoke.
Haeyoon’s gaze followed Jeongha’s downward.
“Ah, it got on me.”
What their eyes met was the sleeve of Haeyoon’s coat.
A small smudge of paint was on the cuff.
“I tried to be careful… This happens often.
Seems unavoidable.”
It wasn’t anything special.
When painting, he wore work clothes, and no matter how careful he was to avoid getting it on his outerwear, traces would always be left here and there once he went outside.
As if a mischievous paint fairy lived in the studio.
“Just leave it… Ah….”
There was no way to remove it right away anyway.
Haeyoon, who was about to just leave it be, stopped short at Jeongha’s subsequent action.
As if possessed, Jeongha rubbed the paint-stained cuff with his own hand.
Some of the not-yet-dry paint transferred onto Jeongha’s finger.
“Look what happened.
It got on your hand.”
He hadn’t cared when it was on his own clothes, but when it got on Jeongha’s hand, a startled Haeyoon quickly grabbed Jeongha’s wrist.
Startled by the peculiarly cold body temperature even considering they were outside, Jeongha hastily pulled his hand back.
It was an unnatural reaction.
“…It’s fine.
My hand just moved on its own.”
“Be careful it doesn’t get on your clothes.
It’s a hassle to remove.”
“Okay. I will.”
Fortunately, Haeyoon didn’t seem to think much of Jeongha’s action.
Jeongha felt relieved but also a bit regretful.
It felt incredibly foolish to be the only one getting sensitive and overreacting when Seo Haeyoon himself didn’t even mind.
No one, no Omega, had ever made Baek Jeongha this clumsy before.