If I Run Away, Will You Let Me?

He rubbed the paint-stained finger with another finger for no reason.
Jeongha, not wanting to look any more foolish, changed the subject.
“By the way… are you getting mentally prepared?”
“……?”
“The wedding.
It’s not far off now.”
“Ah…….”
Haeyoon let out a low sigh.
Oh Jaeyeol and Ahn Seonwoo’s wedding was just days away.
A feeling of suffocation suddenly welled up.
Observing that reaction, Jeongha continued.
“Once you’re actually in front of the wedding venue, it might not be easy to go in.”
“Yeah.
That’s right….”
The vague imagination became concrete upon hearing Jeongha’s advice.
He blinked slowly a few times.
In his mind, Seo Haeyoon was now standing before Jaeyeol and Seonwoo, who were affectionately arm in arm.
There would be people there to celebrate their wedding, and many of them would know Haeyoon.
In the place Haeyoon had dreamed of, by the person he thought would naturally be his, there would be Ahn Seonwoo with a dazzlingly happy smile.
He would be there.
After a long pause, Haeyoon, who had let out a deep sigh, spoke.
“Honestly… right now, I don’t really know how I’ll feel.”
“…….”
“I don’t know.
Will it feel satisfying?
Or….”
Haeyoon disliked conflict.
Even as a child, if a friend cried wanting his toy, he would just give it away.
It was the same with Ahn Seonwoo.
Haeyoon had rarely insisted on anything in front of Seonwoo.
It would have been the same this time.
If Ahn Seonwoo had knelt down, sincerely apologized, said he couldn’t help it, that he had fallen in love with Oh Jaeyeol, and confessed like that, Haeyoon would have let it go.
Of course, they couldn’t have remained friends, but he probably wouldn’t have dreamed of revenge.
He might even have thought, ‘Since it’s come to this, I hope they live happily together.’
But now, he was waiting to ruin the happiest day of Ahn Seonwoo’s life, to wreck Oh Jaeyeol’s important day.
This was a truly strange feeling.
“I might even want to run away….”
The hand holding the coffee cup trembled faintly.
Ahn Seonwoo would be hurt.
That was certain.
Haeyoon knew better than anyone how much Seonwoo had loved Baek Jeongha, how sincere he had been.
Oh Jaeyeol would be shocked.
If his boring, uninteresting ex appeared after just a few months, flaunting another Alpha—and Baek Jeongha at that—he would be utterly astonished.
Did he want to see those faces?
Would seeing them compensate even a little for the days that had been so painful and agonizing?
Thoughts rose and fell repeatedly.
It was Jeongha’s voice that stopped the thoughts beginning to eat away at Haeyoon’s body and mind like a swamp.
“If you do want to run away, what would you like me to do?”
Haeyoon gasped for breath like someone barely surfacing from water.
Then he turned to look at Jeongha.
Jeongha was smiling again, as if asking when he ever looked troubled.
It was the same smile that had always lightened Haeyoon’s mood from the very beginning.
“Do you want me to grab you and say, ‘You came this far to run away?’ and drag you into the wedding venue by force?
Or… do you want me to just let you run away however you wish?”
“…….”
“Just tell me.
I’ll do whatever you ask me to do.”
Jeongha truly seemed indifferent to whatever choice Haeyoon made.
Haeyoon found that attitude a bit odd.
“You mean you wouldn’t stop me even if I said I wanted to run away?”
“If you really don’t want to do it, what can I do?
It’s not my business anyway.”
“But… if I don’t show up there, all your effort until now will be for nothing.”
Haeyoon genuinely couldn’t understand.
It was Jeongha who had encouraged the hesitant Haeyoon, who had wavered at times, to come this far.
Yet now, he was saying he would understand even if Haeyoon ran away.
It was baffling.
Even to Haeyoon’s questioning tone, Jeongha just lightly shrugged his shoulders.
“What great effort did I make?
And don’t get me wrong.
You can run away from the wedding, but I’m not saying to stop getting your revenge.”
“Isn’t that the same thing?”
“It’s different.
Even if it’s not the wedding, there will be plenty of other chances to mess with those two.”
Having said that, Jeongha paused for a moment.
To be honest, Jeongha hadn’t expected to say this either.
Seeing things through to the end was Baek Jeongha’s way.
He despised the idea of setting a goal, running toward it, then backing down out of fear or a sudden softening of heart.
The problem was that the surprise event at the wedding was Seo Haeyoon’s goal, not Baek Jeongha’s.
That was something for Haeyoon to decide and handle.
The moment he realized this, Jeongha understood what his own goal was, what it was fixed on, and why even Haeyoon’s weak-willed attitude didn’t bother him.
“What I mean is…”
“…….”
“I’ll wait until you’re ready, hyung.”
Baek Jeongha wanted to know Seo Haeyoon a little better.
He wanted to figure out why this man kept shaking and unsettling him.
No matter what happened at the wedding venue, he wanted to continue this relationship, this ridiculous romance, a little longer.
That’s why it didn’t matter.
Whatever the outcome of that day, Baek Jeongha wanted to see Seo Haeyoon’s wounds heal.
“I’ll help you with whatever form of revenge it takes.”
The tip of his paint-stained finger tingled.
It felt like a mark that would never fade.

* * * *

“Hoo….”
A faint breath shattered in the darkening air.
It was Oh Jaeyeol, alone on the balcony, letting out a sigh.
He desperately craved a cigarette, something he’d quit years ago.
He wanted to go out right now and fill his lungs with smoke.
Lately, he hadn’t felt such an intense impulse.
It was ironic.
Today was the day before his wedding, a day when Jaeyeol should be feeling his greatest happiness.
‘When we get married… it’d be good if I moved my studio near your company, hyung.’
He hadn’t even tried to recall it, but the affectionate voice Seo Haeyoon had once used came to mind.
Not many people knew Haeyoon could speak in such a soft tone.
It was an affection reserved solely for Oh Jaeyeol.
Even after becoming adults, the two had envisioned a future with only each other.
When imagining the marriage that would someday come, or a day in their old age, they couldn’t picture anyone else.
Discussing marriage was natural, and making future plans was a given.
And now, Oh Jaeyeol was on the verge of marrying Ahn Seonwoo, not Seo Haeyoon.
He couldn’t properly imagine himself standing beside Ahn Seonwoo in a lavishly decorated wedding venue.
In the future Jaeyeol had dreamed of, Seo Haeyoon was always there.
He had envisioned for a very long time the sight of himself kissing a teary-eyed Haeyoon, both wearing similarly toned tuxedos.
Yet, in the actual wedding that had arrived, the person receiving Jaeyeol’s kiss would be someone else.
And that someone else was Ahn Seonwoo, Haeyoon’s closest friend.
The weight of the choice he had made pressed down on his shoulders anew.
At the time, it had seemed undoubtedly right.
It had felt like the unquestionably correct choice to get the family he truly wanted.
So why did he now feel endlessly lost and afraid?
“What are you doing out here?”
Then, a voice cut through Jaeyeol’s past.
It was Ahn Seonwoo.
Jaeyeol bit his lip lightly to avoid being caught and reflexively turned with a smile.
“It’s cold, why did you come out?”
“Because you weren’t coming in, hyung.”
A hint of discontent was hidden in Seonwoo’s voice.
In truth, Seonwoo had been watching Jaeyeol’s back for a while now.
His slumped shoulders heaved occasionally as if sighing.
He didn’t look like someone eagerly awaiting tomorrow.
That grated on Seonwoo’s nerves.
“Is something worrying you?”
Seonwoo asked, pretending not to know.
If anyone should be troubled right now, it was him.
Baek Jeongha had thrown a stone into his heart and still hadn’t been reachable.
If not for his message, Seonwoo would have been enjoying a perfectly pleasant night right now, imagining Seo Haeyoon writhing in misery.
He had hoped every day for another contact from Jeongha.
He couldn’t count how many times he had imagined Baek Jeongha coming back to him, saying he was wrong, that he hadn’t known Seonwoo’s worth back then, asking for a chance even now.
As each day passed, Seonwoo’s nerves were on edge.
What if he was missing his chance?
What if right now was the last opportunity to have Jeongha?
Shouldn’t he be acting more proactively instead of just waiting for his call?
His mood was foul from the turmoil he felt several times a day.
While he was struggling not to show his own distress, seeing Jaeyeol like this was naturally irritating.
What if Oh Jaeyeol was having second thoughts too?
What if, like him thinking of Baek Jeongha, Jaeyeol was thinking of the Seo Haeyoon he had already discarded?
It was a reasonable suspicion.
At that moment, Jaeyeol subtly wrapped his arm around Seonwoo’s waist, pulling him close.
“Worried about what?
It’s just that it doesn’t feel real that we’re getting married tomorrow.”
“…….”
“It’s the moment we’ve been waiting for, right?”
While Seonwoo had wanted it more actively, there was also Jaeyeol’s will behind hastily pushing for the wedding.
Seonwoo wanted to drive the final nail into Seo Haeyoon’s heart before he could recover, and Jaeyeol wanted a stable married life instead of a long, drawn-out relationship he was already tired of.
The fruit that the two, who had cruelly abandoned Seo Haeyoon, had each desired was now truly within reach.