The Confession in the Night Breeze

Chu Nian’s footsteps faltered. He instinctively tried to turn his head, but the person behind him held him gently in place, refusing to let him look back.

Calloused fingertips squeezed his earlobe twice. The temperature of Lu Jinnian’s palm was warmer than Chu Nian had imagined, like a gathered flame, causing his entire ear to burn along with it.

The dense, surrounding inner voices of the crowd were shut out. Other sounds became infinitely magnified: the deafening honk of a car, the footsteps of pedestrians, and even the evening breeze slipping past Lu Jinnian’s hem—all seemed tucked away within his palms.

In that moment, Chu Nian felt as if he had returned to a normal world. The rhythm of his heart soared, his blood raced, and the heat source standing behind him drew closer. If it weren’t for the back of Lu Jinnian’s hand acting as a barrier, his face would likely have been pressed against Chu Nian’s cheek.

“Don’t listen,” the deep, magnetic voice hummed through the conduction of his bones into Chu Nian’s ear. His heart vibrated, and a numbing sensation rushed through his body.

Lu Jinnian’s voice was unsteady, the tail end of his words trembling slightly. He seemed to be afraid of something. Chu Nian didn’t quite understand; he only felt the hands pressed against his ears tighten, as if trying to block out every sound in the world.

Don’t listen to his words.

Don’t look into his eyes.

Don’t go near him.

Don’t…

Don’t push me out of your world because of him.

Lu Jinnian couldn’t see how dark the expression on his own face was. The dull ache in his chest made him realize that he truly could not accept Chu Nian having someone else even more intimate than himself.

Lin Yan’s words circled mockingly in his mind.

Pei Yu…

Lin Yan…

These people had truly existed in Chu Nian’s past.

And what about him? He had to use a piece of paper—a contract—to tie Chu Nian to his side, forcing his way into Chu Nian’s world.

Jealousy. An inexplicable, ceaseless jealousy.

He had prided himself on knowing everything about Chu Nian, yet he was utterly crushed by Lin Yan’s simple sentence: “We’ve known each other since we were kids.”

A tidal wave of frustration nearly swallowed him. Lu Jinnian had never been this afraid. He Xing’s previous words reminded him: once the contract was dissolved, what reason would he have to keep Chu Nian in the cage he had built?

He couldn’t let Chu Nian go.

He couldn’t end the contract…

He couldn’t.

“Lu Jinnian,” Chu Nian called out softly.

The hands were shaking.

Lu Jinnian snapped back to reality and quickly withdrew his hands. A chill hit Chu Nian’s ears, leaving only a lingering warmth.

*******************************************

They walked in silence to a restaurant. Lin Yan, true to his word, sat right next to Chu Nian and Lu Jinnian’s table. He ordered a few items casually, biting the straw of a cold drink brought by the waiter as he smiled at Chu Nian.

For Lin Yan, he could accept Chu Nian’s current resistance. After all, they hadn’t seen each other in years. But living together day and night, Lin Yan believed they could return to the intimacy of their childhood. So, even just eating across an aisle from him was enough to satisfy Lin Yan.

Except…

He glanced at the man sitting opposite Chu Nian. The other was staring at him with a frozen face, his rugged features devoid of expression. His pale pink lips were pursed so tight they turned white, and the veins on the hand holding the menu were prominent.

Lin Yan clearly saw him lick his back teeth. From the first day they met, this man hadn’t given him a single good look. He was like a fierce beast crouching behind Chu Nian, wary of Lin Yan dragging him away, constantly baring his teeth.

But the more he acted this way, the more obvious his weakness became.

“Brother,” Lin Yan spoke softly. He leaned toward Chu Nian and pointed his chin at the glass in Chu Nian’s hand. “I want to taste yours.”

Chu Nian blinked, looking down at his lemonade and then at Lin Yan’s. They were clearly identical drinks. He asked, puzzled: “Aren’t we drinking the same thing?”

“Mine is so sour,” Lin Yan said, his features scrunching up as if the tartness still lingered in his mouth. “So I want to try yours.”

Without waiting for an answer, he reached out a long arm and snatched Chu Nian’s glass. He took a light sip from the straw, then smiled after letting go: “As expected, yours is sweeter, Brother.”

“Really?” Chu Nian knit his brows slightly. “It tastes the same to me.”

As Chu Nian mumbled, Lin Yan caught Lu Jinnian’s eye with his peripheral vision. As expected, Lu Jinnian’s face darkened another shade.

[Ooh, so angry.]

Lin Yan’s inner voice drifted over. Chu Nian’s hand paused, and he looked up at Lu Jinnian.

The menu in Lu Jinnian’s hand was crumpled. The waiter standing nearby was secretly wiping sweat, sensing the smell of gunpowder in the air.

“Uh… sir, would you like me to recommend our…” the waiter couldn’t help but ask.

“No need.” Lu Jinnian retracted his gaze and pointed randomly at the menu. “This page. Bring me one of everything.”

“Al-alright!” The waiter took the order and bolted.

Chu Nian frowned. “Lu Jinnian, you ordered so much, we can’t finish it all.”

“It’s fine,” Lu Jinnian replied. “I’m in a good mood.”

Good mood?

Chu Nian stared at the man’s furrowed brow—tight enough to crush a fly—and squinted skeptically. I can’t tell.

The restaurant was efficient. Before long, the table was covered in fragrant dishes. Chu Nian held his fork, unsure where to start.

Lu Jinnian cut a piece of beef and chewed slowly. Having been raised with strict etiquette, his movements were refined. Then, he lifted his eyes to Chu Nian: “I want to taste yours, too.”

Chu Nian hesitated. “Aren’t we eating the same thing?”

Lu Jinnian immediately wore an expression that suggested he would go mad if he didn’t get a taste. Chu Nian’s lip twitched as he forked a piece of his freshly cut steak and held it out.

His arm hung in mid-air. Seeing that Lu Jinnian didn’t take it, Chu Nian asked: “Didn’t you want to taste it?”

Lu Jinnian gave him an enigmatic smile and pointed a long, fair finger at his own lips: “Feed me.”

Chu Nian: …?

Are you okay?

Knowing Lu Jinnian wouldn’t stop until he got his way—and wanting to avoid being disgusted by whatever other methods the man might use—Chu Nian compromised. He extended his arm further and brought the beef to Lu Jinnian’s mouth. The other opened his mouth, took the meat, and chewed slowly.

After swallowing, Lu Jinnian smiled: “As expected, it tastes best when you feed me.”

This sentence made Lin Yan, at the next table, nearly snap his fork in half.

Ignoring him, Lu Jinnian forked a piece of beef from his own plate and held it to Chu Nian’s lips: “You taste mine, too.”

“No,” Chu Nian turned his head away. “Two identical steaks. Is it necessary to feed each other back and forth like this?”

Lin Yan let out an unshielded snort of laughter.

Rejected, Lu Jinnian retracted his hand sheepishly, his gaze toward Chu Nian filled with resentment.

[Wife, you actually don’t understand me.]

[My heart is broken… completely shattered…]

Lu Jinnian’s inner voice sounded like a scorned woman. Chu Nian was so annoyed he snapped: “Fine, fine, I’ll eat it!”

The light returned to the man’s eyes instantly, and the smile on his face wouldn’t fade. Chu Nian ate the beef and sighed silently.

At that moment, the cutlery at Lin Yan’s table began to clatter again.

Feeling much better after Chu Nian’s cooperation, Lu Jinnian took a breath and said casually: “This restaurant is quite nice. They even have a free band providing accompaniment for us.”

He glanced meaningfully at Lin Yan.

The noise from Lin Yan’s table stopped instantly. Chu Nian lowered his head, barely able to suppress a laugh.

**********************************************

Time passed. Chu Nian set down his utensils, wiped his mouth, and stood up. “I’m finished. Going to the restroom.”

Lu Jinnian followed suit, setting down his cutlery and nodding to Chu Nian. Once Chu Nian left, he called the waiter to settle the bill, then picked up his blazer and walked toward the entrance without looking back.

He lowered his head to send Chu Nian a message. Then, the restaurant door was pushed open from the inside. Lu Jinnian glanced back and immediately looked away.

He didn’t want to look at Lin Yan for even a second.

Lin Yan stood a few meters away. “Brother, I’ll take you home later.” He released the voice message button and sent the recording to Chu Nian.

His voice was just loud enough for Lu Jinnian to hear.

Predictably, Lin Yan soon felt Lu Jinnian’s searing gaze.

“Why hasn’t President Lu left yet?” Lin Yan cut straight to the point, no longer hiding his hostility. “It’s getting late, isn’t it?”

Lu Jinnian sneered: “None of your business.”

Lin Yan shrugged. “Of course it’s not my business, but don’t you think you’re being a bit of a nuisance, President Lu?”

Lu Jinnian remained silent, staring at him intently.

“I don’t know how close you and Brother are…” Lin Yan’s smile vanished. Despite his harmless baby face, his expression was now cold. “But I just hope you’ll stay away from Brother Chu Nian.”

Lu Jinnian scoffed. “Stay away?”

“And if I refuse?”

The air around them dropped to freezing.

“Then don’t blame me for being rude,” Lin Yan said, taking a few steps toward him. “But since you dislike me so much, could it be that you…”

He paused for a second. He narrowed his eyes with a cunning smile.

“…like Chu Nian?”

*******************************************

Chu Nian emerged from the restroom and saw Lu Jinnian’s message. He went back to the table to grab his things and headed for the door.

Outside, the two men stood there. Seeing Lu Jinnian’s tall, straight back, Chu Nian quickened his pace.

The two were talking, oblivious to Chu Nian’s approach.

Chu Nian found it hard to believe; two people who looked ready to fight the moment they met were actually standing together talking peacefully.

As he got closer, but before he reached the door, Chu Nian faintly heard his own name. Lin Yan and Lu Jinnian were talking about him. And their tone… didn’t sound peaceful at all.

Though eavesdropping was wrong, Chu Nian couldn’t help but slow down. He walked toward Lu Jinnian’s position, and their conversation became crystal clear.

Just then, Lin Yan’s question—“Do you like Chu Nian?”—hit Chu Nian’s ears perfectly.

Chu Nian froze in place, his gaze fixed on the back of Lu Jinnian’s head. The tall man stood with his back to him.

“Yes.”

He heard Lu Jinnian speak. There was a faint trace of a smile in his voice.

“I like Chu Nian.”