The Titanic’s Peculiar Passenger

Any NPC should be able to identify items, unless the item is for a special event. This holds true, provided they aren’t a child too young to understand, or completely unconcerned due to their specialized profession. So, isn’t it rather odd that Nocturne, a renowned thief, couldn’t recognize this?

The officer’s hand, gripping the card, trembled uncontrollably as he shrieked, as if he had just witnessed a specter.

“Th-the issue year is 281! Where did you steal this from?! The, the Empire’s law…!”

“Why would I steal something that’s already mine? And what’s the significance of that particular year? Hmm. By the way, what year is it currently?”

When I posed the question to Nocturne, he cautiously responded that it was the year 937.

“It’s been a bit longer than I anticipated, but since it has no expiration date, it should still be perfectly valid, right?”

“I’ve consistently felt you weren’t entirely human, yet with these constant revelations, I find myself at a loss for how much more I should be astonished.”

“I never set out to astonish anyone.”

“Of course not.”

With the officer rendered speechless and trembling in sheer disbelief, the guards who had been holding me quickly began to observe their surroundings, one by one releasing their grip. A few even feigned brushing off my clothes. ‘I should have produced it earlier. What a needless waste of my time.’

I promptly snatched my pardon certificate from the dumbfounded officer’s grasp.

“If there’s any fine, just send me a certificate for it later. Understood?”

“How could any human possibly live for seven hundred years?! This can only be stolen…!”

“Then go ahead and try to take it from me. You’ll be roasted alive instantly.”

As I held the card, swaying it lightly, the officer, gauging the situation, abruptly pushed one of the guards standing beside him forward. The wary guard reached out to seize the pardon certificate, and the moment his fingers brushed it, CRACKLE—!! A violent burst of sparks erupted, instantly reducing him to a charred husk, sprawled on the ground.

“Hey, you despicable coward. You won’t die because you’re an officer, but this poor low-level grunt will be instantly killed.”

Despite being charred black and crawling on the ground, the guard, perhaps due to a special resilience, hadn’t quite died. He shrieked, a sound like metal grating against metal. The scream itself wasn’t particularly loud; it was the raw, agonizing sound of being electrocuted alive.

‘How utterly tiresome.’ Still, it would be far more convenient to keep him alive, wouldn’t it? I retrieved two healing potions from my inventory, sprinkling one over him and forcing the other down his throat.

“Hey, hey, drink it properly, don’t spill any. This single potion is worth more than you could earn in three thousand years of servitude with your meager salary.”

Admittedly, the guards’ salaries were notoriously paltry. Was it five gold per month? I recall them being paid an absurdly low amount. Still, after consuming the potion, he managed to stand once more. The guard, having narrowly escaped death, turned an ashen white and recoiled from my outstretched hand as if in terror.

“The verification is complete, isn’t it? I’m truly departing now.”

I retrieved the dropped card and returned it to my inventory. It brought back fond memories of when I used to discreetly slip it into my pocket during assassination quests, sometimes even using it to dispatch targets.

“C-can we truly just leave like this?”

“What more could you possibly require?”

A quick glance confirmed that the guards had no further intention of apprehending me. The verification was complete, after all; it was a foregone conclusion. I couldn’t fathom why these individuals kept posing such obvious questions.

“I need to swiftly refine your equipment. That’s the only way we’ll be ready to depart tomorrow, isn’t it?”

While land travel is generally preferable, I booked a ship this time, hoping to expedite our journey. I had been eagerly anticipating a sea voyage, but this wretched, trivial event has now consumed half of my day.

The necessity of rushing is quite vexing.

“What was that, that thing? It’s slipped my mind.”

“What is it you’re trying to recall, Sir Haut?”

“It’s that—that dog. The one that’s enormous, looks utterly goofy, and is always smiling. It has shaggy, golden or yellowish fur, and it’s so fond of people that it wouldn’t even bark at a thief…”

“Why would anyone keep a dog like that? Aren’t most dogs raised for guarding homes or for hunting?”

‘Blast it all. It’s completely slipped my mind.’ This isn’t a joke; I genuinely cannot remember. What was its name? There was an incredibly famous dog, and yet only its name eludes me.

‘Ah, damn it, what was it?’

“I wanted to say it resembled you, but the name escapes me.”

“U-uh, Sir Haut? I’m not entirely sure what you’re referring to, but it’s rather impolite to compare a person to a dog.”

“No, no, it’s a good dog. I can’t properly explain it right now because I can’t recall its name, but it’s incredibly popular.”

“Ah, yes… well, then…”

Faust offered a noncommittal nod, his expression clearly unconvinced. ‘No, he really does resemble it. Or does he? Is he perhaps a bit more agile? What else could he resemble, then?’ As I pondered this, Nocturne stepped out, now clad in the formal attire I had provided him.

It was a lustrous, sleek black tuxedo set. For my part, I retrieved and donned the white ‘Oath of Pure White (Male)’ once more.

“No, more importantly, what exactly is this particular ensemble?”

“When one is simply idling and enjoying life, formal attire is, by far, the most crucial element.”

“So, how exactly does this relate to that foolish dog you mentioned?”

“It bears no relation at all. The dog was merely a random thought that crossed my mind, so I spoke of it.”

I had intended to craft him a new outfit, but time constraints forced me to simply provide him with what I already possessed.

‘Honestly, since when did the Magic Tower impose entry restrictions? At precisely nine o’clock, they began aggressively ushering all outsiders out. Furthermore, the persistent nagging from the mages, all clamoring to know how I’d achieved my enchantments, was utterly exasperating. Consequently, I only managed to complete the first stage of the intricate crafting.’

Then, the moment I awoke that morning, we boarded the ship.

“Sir Haut, was it truly necessary to pay such an exorbitant sum to secure passage on this vessel?”

“It was somewhat peculiar, yes, but I simply desired to travel on this particular ship.”

Even the boarding process itself felt odd. Typically, one can simply pay and utilize any mode of transportation. Yet, this time, they rambled on with some nonsense about reservations. Nevertheless, I was determined to board this particular vessel, and ultimately, I paid double the standard fare.

“Don’t be such a miser. It was a mere two hundred gold.”

“Not two hundred, but even a hundred gold is enough to live comfortably for an entire year!”

“Yet I pay you a thousand gold each month, and that you find acceptable?”

At that, our Nocturne once again pursed his lips in a pout. Despite his undeniable handsomeness, for a mere human male to display such a childish expression was quite something. ‘Could this fellow be younger than I’d initially assumed?’

The grand passenger vessel, the Titanic.

I often joked about it sinking, but regrettably, the Titanic-related events were all rather minor. Most revolved around romance or social gatherings. Occasionally, special events like the appearance of a phantom thief or a murder might occur, but even those were relatively small-scale.

Considering that field events alone typically involve major catastrophes like village massacres, monster rampages, meteor crashes, or shadow wars, these were quite trivial.

“Sir Haut, can you explain things to us now?”

“What?”

“We know this ship is going up, but where exactly is it headed?”

“To the capital, of course. Gladia. Were you planning to walk to the Holy War?”

Everyone stared at me with utterly deflated expressions. ‘Oh, come on, stop making those faces.’ Couldn’t they at least smile and chat, especially since I’m touring with these newcomers? Did they have to maintain such subtle, default expressions?

“We weren’t planning to walk the entire way, but this is going that far? On this?”

“This ship is exclusively for nobles or citizens of three stars or higher. Even if you had the money, your current standing wouldn’t allow you to board, so enjoy it thoroughly. When taking newbies on a tour, you ought to provide the best, after all.”

“Stop calling us ‘newbies,’ already! What even is a newbie?!”

“You are.”

I find it rather provocative that newbies don’t realize they’re newbies. After all, they’re like a blank slate, easily molded to my preferences. To be shaped by someone else’s tastes without even realizing it—isn’t that truly dangerous? I unconsciously clutched my chest.

“Their belief that they’re all grown up is simply the cutest thing.”

“Sir Haut? We never said anything of the sort.”

Nocturne quickly interjected, but his words still fell on deaf ears.

The suite I’d secured, having paid a hefty sum, was quite luxurious. I wasn’t entirely sure, but apparently, only special suites were available. It was a spacious room with two additional bedrooms, a living area, and panoramic glass windows offering views of the outside. Beyond the ship’s fare, I’d spent another two hundred gold on the room itself, bringing the total to a thousand gold.

“When exactly do you intend to tell us the truth?”

“About what?”

“Your true identity, your intentions, why you’re doing this to us, your real name…”

“You’re truly persistent. I’ve never lied once. I am a demon hunter, and I want to train you all to create an enjoyable demon hunting party for some fun. Oh, and perhaps to raise you as the next demon hunters for a world where I no longer exist? Hamman would approve, so it’s perfect. Although the Dawn Star Goddess, Pandora, also despises demons, her followers are too monastic to fight, making them useless.

And as for my name, I’ve told you multiple times, but you simply don’t understand. It’s ‘I Want to Bang Faust’.”

At my words, everyone flinched. For some reason, Faust’s face turned beet red, and he covered it, hiding in a corner. Jack, meanwhile, began to shriek agitatedly.

“You want to say that now, of all times?!”

“You asked, and I answered. No matter how many times I say it, that’s all it is.”

“‘Shadow King,’ ‘The Nameless One’! And yesterday, it was some insane talk about ‘the Emperor’s favor’! How can we believe any of it?! And stop tormenting our leader! How fervently are you pursuing him?!”

“It’s all true, what more do you want me to say? These were all minor feats that you could accomplish if you worked hard, too, weren’t they? Though your ignorance of that fact is quite charming.”

“An ordinary human couldn’t achieve even one of those things in a lifetime!”

“But why do you say I’m tormenting anyone? I like Sir Faust. There aren’t many kind people like him around. If I disliked him, would I bother outfitting him with gear and feeding him delicious food?”

At my words, Jack’s jaw dropped, his mouth agape, unable to speak. Why was he so shocked by what I’d said? Nocturne, who had moved slightly away to retrieve and drink champagne from the mini-bar, promptly spat it out. And Faust, who had been wriggling in a corner, peeked out with wide, round eyes, staring at me.

“I’ll never let our leader fall for a madman like you!”

“Firstly, I’m not mad, and where is Faust ‘falling for’? Your leader, despite appearances, is quite a loyal servant. He won’t be switching from Hamman to our Debora, I assure you.”

Jack stomped his foot in agitation. I simply couldn’t understand him.