Heavy Rain

“…….”

It was a neatly folded note.

I glanced at Han Gangun visible beyond the locker door as the note sat there alone.

He was still absorbed in texting on his phone and showed no other reaction.

I hated that indifferent attitude of his that didn’t even give me a single glance.

I took out my book, snatched the note, and closed the door.

The loud bang echoed through the classroom.

As I stepped outside, I unfolded the note.

As always, the mature handwriting was there.

[There’s somewhere I want to go with you.]

[It’s not an apology.]

[Meet me after class.]

Music class passed by meaninglessly.

I didn’t even know what I learned or what music I listened to as the 55 minutes flew by, and I left the music room like a soulless corpse.

The other kids in class were noisy as they passed by, saying the homeroom teacher was calling them, perhaps because they wanted to go home quickly.

I walked so slowly, as if time flowed longer only for me.

Right after the closing ceremony, the science teacher from the staff room called me.

It was because my performance evaluation score was ambiguous so he had re-graded it.

I was dragged there without knowing why and listened blankly to the grading method and score that I wasn’t even curious about.

When I came out of the staff room, after-school hours had already begun.

Han Gangun’s shoes were not in the shoe rack.

I stared blankly at the empty shoe rack with a hollow face.

Then I grabbed my own shoes and walked down the hallway.

It felt like nothing mattered anymore even if everything was ruined.

Thinking that made my heart feel a little lighter.

However, Han Gangun was standing in front of the building.

The rain that had stopped for a while started falling again and showed no sign of stopping throughout the afternoon.

Han Gangun, holding an umbrella, took a step toward me.

“Seo Ijae.”

Han Gangun called my name.

I silently put down my shoes and changed into them.

The sound of pouring summer rain covered my ears chaotically.

“There’s somewhere I want to go with you.”

“…….”

“I have something to say too.”

I opened the umbrella.

I looked up at Han Gangun.

“I don’t want to go with you.”

“…….”

“Go alone.”

Even though lingering feelings remained, facing him made a nasty stubbornness rise up.

It was childish obstinacy and a contradictory inconsistency.

While my head kept thinking about Han Gangun, my wrong mouth spat those words out.

Rain pounded loudly on the umbrella.

Han Gangun followed behind me.

We walked in a single line under the umbrella.

“Why?”

“Are you worried I’ll apologize again?”

I kept walking forward, and Han Gangun kept following behind me.

“I’m not going to apologize, so let’s go together.”

“I said no—”

I turned around.

Han Gangun, who had stopped abruptly, was staring at me intently.

A breath burst out of me.

“Whether you apologize or not, it doesn’t matter.”

“But right now, I don’t want to talk to you.”

“…….”

“I don’t know what you want to say to me.”

“Anyway, I don’t want to talk to you right now.”

It wasn’t just Han Gangun I was angry at.

I was angry at everything about today, including Han Gangun.

The spiteful rain that had blocked my morning commute with Han Gangun, the vulgar conversation of the kids in class that I had to hear as soon as I entered, the unbelievable facts stored in the phone, the anonymous tipster who reported it, and even Kim Yunho’s older brother’s friend who ran the bamboo forest—all of it.

And even the rain that still wouldn’t stop falling.

Everything.

“Then when would be good?”

Han Gangun, adjusting his grip on the umbrella, asked me in a low voice.

I breathed while facing Han Gangun’s face directly.

The sound of rain densely enveloped the surroundings.

“When this rain stops.”

It was a randomly thrown out remark.

Han Gangun silently watched me.

Thinking he probably wouldn’t hold me back anymore, I turned around and walked away.

I hated the splashing sound on the ground.

I hated the wet soles of my shoes getting soaked.

I returned home and slammed the door with all my strength.

I threw my shoes aside carelessly and entered the living room.

I tossed my bag and sat on the sofa.

I turned on the TV.

I repeatedly changed channels meaninglessly.

Dramas, variety shows, home shopping, and so on passed by in no particular order.

At this moment, I wanted to become a idiot box.

A complete idiot box with no ability to think.

It was still daytime with the sun not yet set.

Noisy sounds came from outside the veranda window.

There were the sound of rain mixed with people’s bustling voices, and the clanging of a truck in between.

I raised the channel up to 999 and started changing channels meaninglessly again.

My two eyes looking at the TV were dyed hollow.

When the rain stops, Han Gangun will come looking for me again.

What should I do then?

What should I say to Han Gangun?

At the sudden door lock sound, I opened my eyes wide.

The front door made a loud noise and someone took off their shoes and came in.

I raised my upper body and met eyes with my father who was walking out from the shoe rack.

It was an unusually early return.

“…You’re back.”

“I came a bit early.”

“…Yes.”

“Because of this damn rain, all the work got canceled.”

My father’s shoulders were wet.

I quickly stood up from my seat.

I headed to the kitchen while crumpling my uniform shirt for no reason.

I opened the refrigerator door and rummaged inside.

I saw my father, who had just come out of the bathroom, go into his room.

“What would you like to eat?”

“No.”

“It’s fine.”

“Leave it.”

I stood up and closed the refrigerator door.

I stared blankly at the closed room door.

My father, who lived in the same house, felt strangely unfamiliar.

I looked at the place of my blood relative where I added polite speech diligently, prepared food, and felt uncomfortable with his early daytime return.

Then the phone vibrated loudly.

I ran to the living room and picked up the phone.

A call was coming from an unknown number.

“Hello.”

– Is this Seo Ijae?

“Who is this?”

– It’s me, Kim Yunho.

I briefly took the phone away from my ear and checked the number.

It wasn’t saved, so I didn’t know.

Of course.

The only friend’s number I had saved was Han Gangun’s.

– Hey. Can you hear me?

The surrounding noise was loud.

It sounded like pouring rain.

I raised the volume a little and spoke.

“Yeah.”

“I can hear you.”

“What’s up?”

– Are you with Han Gangun right now?

It was an unexpected question.

I answered blankly.

“…No.”

– f*ck. Where the hell did that bastard go!

“Why?”

– He’s not answering calls.

Everyone says they’re not with him.

f*ck, I’m scared he might do something.

Kim Yunho’s voice was highly agitated.

His extremely excited tone kept bursting out.

I moved my body as I was and headed to the veranda.

I opened the window and stuck my head out.

Han Gangun was not in the narrow asphalt alley where people passed by.

“What’s going on?”

Kim Yunho spoke in an even more heightened voice.

– There was a huge fuss because of the bamboo forest post.

That’s run by my older brother’s friend.

I told Han Gangun who the tipster was.

f*ck, but that bastard disappeared after class and isn’t showing up.

He’s not answering calls either.

Didn’t he go looking for him?

The last image of Han Gangun, who hadn’t followed me, came to mind.

My lips moved and I barely spoke.

“Who is the tipster?”

– Who else? Shin Jooho.

It seemed unclear because it was mixed with the sound of rain.

I moved only my lips and asked again.

“Who did you say?”

– Shin Jooho!

That fucker, the bastard who puts side dishes in your locker.

Ah, that crazy bastard.

I should catch and beat him up.

An unclear voice leaked out as a mutter from inside the phone.

I blinked.

So Shin Jooho was the one who tipped off that photo to the bamboo forest.

Shin Jooho, who came to our house, threw side dishes, and put spoiled food in my locker.

The hand holding the phone trembled.

My head throbbed.

I returned to the living room and pressed my forehead for a moment.

It felt like a heavy weight was pulling my head forward.

From inside the phone, I could hear Kim Yunho noisily chatting with other friends.

Did he do this because of me?

Did he hate me so much that he even did this to Han Gangun, who was close to me?

Then who exactly and how much should I hate?

Shin Jooho, who arbitrarily reported that photo and screwed over Han Gangun and me?

Or Han Gangun, who gave the excuse for such a photo to be taken?

I sat down hard on the sofa.

The cushion sank greatly.

Kim Yunho hung up after telling me to let him know if Han Gangun contacted me.

I lifted my sitting body.

I knocked on the door where my father was and entered.

My father, wearing a T-shirt and watching a small TV screen, looked up at me.

“I’m going out for a bit.”

“Yeah.”

“Then buy three bottles of soju on your way back.”

“Yes.”

I closed the door, took out the bills under the piggy bank, and put them in my pocket.

The shoe rack was soaking wet from the traces of my father entering.

I crumpled on my sneakers, grabbed one umbrella, and went out of the house.

From the moment I heard the name Shin Jooho, a strange thought occurred to me.

The thought that the photo of Han Gangun taken in front of the motel wasn’t Han Gangun’s fault.

I ran recklessly on the splashing ground.

I went down the hill while making a call and crossed the crosswalk.

Only the ringing tone continued, and the familiar voice didn’t come.

It said the person could not answer the call right now.

I ran into the school.

The coldly wet playground looked like a huge puddle.

I put down the umbrella and entered the building.

I planned to search until I found Han Gangun.

There was no plan after that.

For now, I felt like I had to find Han Gangun immediately.