Selling Myself All Over Again

“Mmm… Huh?”

A muffled sound. I saw shock in Su Yanlan’s eyes.

She clearly didn’t expect such a bold move—frozen for a brief moment, stunned.

I held her tightly, pressing our bodies as close as possible.

After about ten seconds, she finally snapped back to reality.

With both hands, she shoved me away—hard.

Slap!

One ear rang with tinnitus. My cheekbone slammed into my teeth—blood welled from the torn oral membrane, metallic and warm.

“Pft.”

I spat the blood out, staring at Su Yanlan’s now cold expression.

She had every right to be angry.

Any girl would be furious if kissed like that.

I’d expected a slap when I made my move.

But damn—Su Yanlan is strong. Stronger than any of my exes.

My brain rattled from the hit.

I watched, dazed, as she pulled out the scissors again.

“Qin Yue… should I say you’re truly a scumbag? Even in this situation, you pull off something so disgusting.”

She grabbed my hair—pain shot through my scalp.

“Wait… wait! You said you hate the bitter almond scent, right? But I can smell like you instead. Smell me?”

I lifted my hand to my nose—inhaled.

Familiar lavender. Almost identical to her scent.

The leader’s trace was gone.

Ignoring the pain in my head and the burning on my right cheek, I smiled—pleading, pathetic.

If she wants a certain type… I’ll become it.

Why did I kiss her? Because I had nothing else.

Right now, my smile must look grotesque.

Will she find me so repulsive she kills me on the spot?

Maybe.

But I had to try.

If she does peel off a piece of skin… not only might I die from infection, but how would I explain the wound to the leader?

I wouldn’t survive.

“…”

Hearing me, Su Yanlan slowed her movement with the scissors.

Her cold eyes widened—shock returning.

“Um… Miss Yanlan? Could you… let go of my hair? It really hurts…”

Seeing her hesitation, relief flooded through me.

“Ah… oh. Miss Qin Yue… you’re really… trying hard, aren’t you?”

She seemed conflicted—completely different from moments ago.

Finally, she tucked the scissors back into her pocket.

“Ha… haha… so… can you spare me now, Miss Yanlan?”

I gave a weak, sheepish laugh.

Blood still seeped from my collarbone—trickling down, staining the borrowed coat red. Some dripped along my skin, sliding toward softer areas.

The cut from the fall wasn’t hurting much anymore—as long as nothing touched it. It bled too, but less than the deeper puncture.

Strange.

“Mm.”

She nodded, released my hair.

My head thudded against the floor—dizziness surged.

Then she turned and quickly walked into the back room—the one with the corpse.

Soon, she returned with cotton swabs and iodine.

She knelt, gently cleaning my wound.

Had she turned kind again?

Unexpected.

I thought escaping unskinned was the best outcome.

Never imagined she’d treat my injury.

Miss Yanlan… you’re so gentle.

Medicine is expensive.

If it were up to me, I’d just wrap the cut in dirty cloth and hope it healed on its own.

“Ow, ow, ow!”

Just as I mentally crowned her the kindest of my three tormentors, she pressed the cotton swab hard onto the wound.

I nearly cried out—well, not really. I’d never cry over pain.

“Tch. If you’re so afraid of pain, why did you struggle earlier?”

Though her words were sharp, her touch softened afterward.

Are you kidding? If I hadn’t lunged forward and kissed you, wouldn’t it have hurt way more?

She finished cleaning the wound, then covered it with medical tape.

“Should I ice your face? Looks swollen.”

She helped me onto the stool, gently turning my head side to side.

“Haha… no need. The warmth might make me more cold-resistant?”

Touching my slapped cheek—it stung. I forced a joke. Probably not funny.

She didn’t react. Just nodded quietly, then let go.

Our eyes met.

“Um… Miss Yanlan… do you have anything else to eat?”

My stomach growled—untimely, embarrassing.

The biscuit had stopped the cramps, but it wasn’t enough.

I asked awkwardly.

She reached into her pocket—again—and shoved another biscuit into my mouth.

“Mmmph…”

Seriously? Do you have a f*cking fourth-dimensional pocket? How many things have you pulled from that coat already?

Unanswerable.

I took the rectangular biscuit in hand and slowly chewed it once more.

Su Yanlan watched me silently.

Minutes passed.

Even after I finished, she didn’t move.

“Cough… um, Miss Yanlan… is there something you want to say?”

As soon as the words left my mouth, I regretted them.

I should’ve just left.

What does it matter to me?

“Miss Qin Yue… you got my coat dirty.”

She spoke, pointing at her beige coat.

Only then did I notice—my blood stained the fabric, stark against the light color.

My body tensed.

No way… again? Then why did you even treat my wound? Just to torture me more?

“Uh… so, Miss Yanlan… what do you want me to do?”

I swallowed discomfort, asking anyway—though I assumed she still wanted to flay me.

“Pay for it.”

To my surprise, she gave a normal demand.

“Twenty gold notes.”

Well. Not normal at all.

Gold notes—“currency that never devalues.”

Alongside bartering, they’re the most widely accepted money. No backing needed—they are value. After all, they’re made of real gold.

But people rarely call them “gold notes.”

They call them dollars.

Why? Stereotype? Who knows.

“Miss Yanlan… please don’t joke. There’s no way I could have that.”

I laughed weakly.

Look at me—ragged, bleeding, starving. Do I look like someone who carries gold?

“You can ask the leader. Aren’t you her kept woman?”

Gentle Miss Yanlan stabbed my heart again… though technically, she wasn’t wrong?

I clenched my fists. Trembled.

The leader would never give me money. She won’t even spare food.

“Is there another way to compensate? I can wash it for you.”

Clutching my fingers, I looked at her stained coat. Clearly not worth that price.

Twenty gold notes = twenty grams of gold.

Enough to keep a scavenger alive for months.

Though most ordinary people would get robbed—or killed—if they tried spending it openly…

“You can sell yourself to me.”

She said something bizarre—just as strange as she is.

“…Alright.”

After a long silence, I nodded.

I didn’t want to turn myself into a commodity.

Especially since the leader forbade me from fooling around.

But if I refused… would I even leave this shop alive?

I didn’t know if this decision would doom me forever.

Still, I forced that familiar, practiced smile.

Things are slowly getting back on track.

Both Su Yanlan and the leader have forgiven me.

If I survive this snowstorm—stay cautious, avoid past mistakes—I might just live.

On this snowy day… I sold myself.

For nothing.