Lu Xiaoxue

Su Yan stared blankly at Lu Lin’s tightly closed eyes, a feeling of heartache welling up inside him.

He gently pressed on his shoulders and pushed him away.

Lu Lin was slightly taken aback, tears silently streaming down his face, but he held back from making a sound.

Finally, Su Yan jumped down from the shoe cabinet and looked up at him directly.

He was a little angry.

Why wouldn’t he tell him anything?

“Lu Lin, I can help you figure things out. “

Su Yan thought about how he had nothing, but at the very least, he could give him a warm embrace.

With that thought, he suddenly moved closer, tilting his head up slightly, standing on his tiptoes, and wrapping his arms around his neck.

“If you’re sad, just cry. “

A person suddenly appeared in Lu Lin’s arms, and he didn’t react for a moment, his hands hanging by his sides.

“Hold me tight. “

Su Yan’s voice, strained with a forced smile, came through.

Only then did Lu Lin come back to his senses, hugging his waist tightly and burying his face in Su Yan’s collarbone.

The young man’s suppressed sobs escaped from his throat.

Su Yan was at a loss.

This seemed to be the second time he had seen Lu Lin cry.

After Lu Lin finished crying, Su Yan took his hand and led him to sit on the sofa, asking him, “Can you tell me what’s wrong?”

Lu Lin was in a state of complete dejection.

His handsome face, which usually looked incredibly cool and domineering when he wasn’t speaking, was now so fragile.

“I have to go abroad,” Lu Lin said calmly, but his words left Su Yan utterly shocked.

He had thought that at most, Lu Lin would only transfer from A University in Haishi to A University in Beijing.

He had never imagined it would be across countries!

“When? “

“Tomorrow? “

“Next month? “

“Or next year?”

“Which university?” Su Yan turned to the side, frowning at him.

Why wouldn’t he tell him something like this?

Did he not deserve to know?

“I don’t know any of that. “

“It was all decided by Lu Ang,” Lu Lin said, wanting to take out the cigarette pack from his pocket again, only to remember that he was in the process of quitting.

Hearing that familiar name again, Su Yan inadvertently asked, “Because of me?”

Lu Lin didn’t speak; his silence was the answer.

“Is he sick? “

“Why does he have to control everything you do? “

“When you were a child and almost froze to death in the snow, why didn’t he care then?”

As the words left his mouth, both of them froze.

Su Yan didn’t even know why he had blurted that out.

A flash of shock crossed Lu Lin’s weary peach-blossom eyes, and Su Yan continued, “No, that’s not right. “

“I feel like I’m talking about a good friend from my childhood. “

“Did I remember wrong? “

“Why would I say that…”

“Can you tell me about that person you mentioned?”

“Sure, let me think. “

When Su Yan was a child, the neighbors next door were a rich but loveless couple who had a child.

He had already forgotten her name; it was too long ago.

When they were young, their relationship was very good.

Only at his house would she laugh.

When she went back to her own home, she would always be met with endless scolding.

She had clearly done nothing wrong, but she would never defend herself.

She was a younger sister with short hair and big eyes.

When she smiled, she would look at you shyly.

“Was her name Lu Xiaoxue?”

For the first time today, Lu Lin laughed out loud, a smile finally appearing in his moist peach-blossom eyes.

“How did you know?”

“Is she your sister?”

A sharp pain suddenly shot through Su Yan’s head.

He uncontrollably broke free from Lu Lin’s embrace and squatted on the floor, burying his face in his knees.

“No, that’s not right. “

“You don’t have a sister at all. “

“The original novel said you were the only son of the Lu family,” Su Yan muttered to himself, the pain making it difficult for him to speak.

Lu Lin’s smile froze.

Seeing Su Yan like this truly gave him a scare.

He squatted down beside him, gently patting his back.

He tried to speak in a soft and gentle voice.

“Good boy, don’t think about it. “

“If you don’t think about it, it won’t hurt, right?”

Seeing Su Yan’s pained expression, he could only hate himself for asking.

Maintaining the status quo was clearly enough.

He had been too greedy.

Su Yan lifted his small, tear-soaked face and asked, “Are you Lu Xiaoxue?”

“Have we known each other since we were children?”

“I didn’t actually transmigrate into a book, did I?”

Su Yan’s voice trembled as he spoke.

He seemed to remember.

Everything, he remembered everything.

Including why Lu Ang had said: ‘Lu Lin is really quite devoted. When did you two get together?’

When Su Yan truly remembered, Lu Lin was at a loss for how to react.

Should he be glad?

Or should he be sad?

He was sad because they would eventually be separated, and it was enough for him to suffer alone.

Although he didn’t know what Su Yan meant by “transmigrating into a book,” he still nodded silently.

“Am I the protagonist uke from the original book? “

“Did we grow up together? “

“Is it all because of Shen Yichen…?” Su Yan stared intently into Lu Lin’s eyes, afraid of missing any information.

“I have one more question. “

After a brief moment of relief, Lu Lin felt regret again.

Su Yan shouldn’t have remembered all of this; he should be the one to bear all the pain.

“Was I ever possessed?”

Su Yan’s brows furrowed slightly.

As he stood up, his legs were already numb.

He could only sit on the edge of the sofa and slowly utter these words.

“I’m not just missing memories; everything around me has changed drastically. “

“But when I ask the people around me, they all say I’m overthinking it. “

“Over time, I started to believe it too. “

“It turns out you knew everything. “

****

“Lu Lin, you actually haven’t changed at all since you were a child,” Su Yan, who was sitting in the passenger seat, turned his head slightly and said softly.

Compared to just now, he was already much calmer and not as devastated, with an added touch of serenity.

Lu Lin’s personality was extremely obsessive even as a child.

Not only obsessive, but his possessiveness was also very strong.

Back then, in kindergarten, they had to play a little game where all the children held hands and formed a big circle, somewhat resembling a bonfire party (without the fire).

The young Lu Lin had always gone for the cool-guy style.

His little face scrunched up, and he was very dissatisfied with this rule, so he coaxed Su Yan, “Don’t play this game. “

“They’re trying to take advantage of you. “

The young Su Yan didn’t understand the advanced meaning of “take advantage of you.”

His eyes lit up.

“I like to eat tofu too!”

Hearing this, the young Lu Lin felt betrayed by Su Yan and was angry for several days, ignoring him completely.

Until one day, the little friend who held Su Yan’s hand to play the game found a dead cockroach in his pencil case.

This was also why Su Yan had said, “Lu Lin, your personality hasn’t changed at all. “

The two of them were inseparable until middle school.

Everyone around them knew that you could provoke anyone but Su Yan; his childhood friend was a gloomy person who would make you suffer.

His memory stopped at the point where Lu Lin confessed to him, and then he disappeared for a year.

In high school, Lu Lin completely vanished from his memory, only to reappear in university.

Could it be because he had casually mentioned in high school that he wanted to date in university?

Did that trigger his possessiveness again?

“Lu Lin, why were you dressed as a cute little girl in a dress the first time we met?”

“Lu Lin, do you have a preference for women’s clothing?”

Su Yan stared at Lu Lin’s side profile.

There were so many things he wanted to say at once.

The lost memories all came rushing back, making it a bit hard to breathe.

Lu Lin’s long, slender fingers tapped on the steering wheel one by one, a smile in his voice.

“Back then, a nanny lied to me, saying my mom liked girls. “

“If I wore a dress in front of her, she would start to like me too. “

“I didn’t expect that ‘liking girls’ meant liking the daughter she had with her first love. “

“She got so angry that she threw the cup in her hand at me, so I just left. “

“And then I met you, and I sparked your sympathy,” Lu Lin said.

The place on his lower lip that Su Yan had bitten had already scabbed over.

Although he said these things with a smile, Su Yan still felt incredibly sad.

Childhood wounds accompany a person for a lifetime, and only Lu Lin could talk about these things so nonchalantly.

It was as if he was trying to prevent others from worrying about his own troubles.

Compared to the pain of his childhood, he was more afraid of others’ pitying gazes.

“I was even protected by you as a little sister for a while. “

“I didn’t even dare to speak, for fear that you would find out I was a boy and tell me to get lost. “

“As for that time at the start of university, I thought you had that kind of fetish, so I wore it. “

Su Yan still had so many, many things he wanted to ask Lu Lin.