The Feigned Couple

I gazed at him for a long moment with the kind of look one reserves for the intellectually challenged. Only then did I let out a long sigh and say,

“Student, I truly appreciate your enthusiastic help… It’s just that, with your gender, I don’t think you can enter the girls’ dormitory, can you?”

At the first part of my sentence, Linghu Ruoxu’s face had been alight with excitement. However, the latter half of my words changed tone abruptly, pulling him instantly from the clouds back down to earth.

Setting everything else aside, the formidable dorm manager of the girls’ dormitory in Tianwu University’s East Campus alone presented an insurmountable obstacle.

With Linghu Ruoxu’s meager cultivation, he wouldn’t even need to consider trying; he probably wouldn’t even be enough to fill a gap in her teeth.

My single sentence left him drenched in sweat. He stammered for a long time before Linghu Ruoxu finally asked, hesitantly,

“Th-then, then, student, what do you think we should do?”

I bit my lip, then suddenly offered him a faint smile. Just then, a young couple emerged from one of the inns across from the university gate.

They appeared to be Tianwu University students. The girl walked with her arm linked through the boy’s, playfully bantering the entire way.

As they passed the card-swiping entrance, the boy, still joking with the girl, casually pulled out a card and swiped it over the card reader.

After the guard verified their identities, the security officer, who looked only a few years older than them, waved them through with a look of envy, jealousy, and resentment. He almost seemed eager for the pair to disappear from sight, not bothering to check the girl’s pass at all.

This was apparently an old habit of Tianwu University’s security guards. Typically, when confronted with a male and female couple entering together, as long as one person swiped their card, they wouldn’t bother verifying if the other was truly a Tianwu student.

Linghu Ruoxu saw my gesture but didn’t immediately grasp its meaning. It wasn’t until the couple, still chatting and laughing, disappeared around the bend behind the main gate that a flicker of understanding finally dawned on him.

“Student, are you, are you saying, that, um, we, we should also pretend like that, and then go in together?”

His expression, now that he’d realized, became even more awkward and flustered.

Seeing his flushed face and burning ears, I knew exactly what sort of bizarre ideas were running through his mind. At that moment, I also felt a little embarrassed.

I recalled how the girl had clung to the boy’s arm like twisted candy. Then, mentally replacing the boy with Linghu Ruoxu and the girl with my own disguised self, a wave of nausea involuntarily washed over me.

Yet, if we didn’t act the part, the guard might grow suspicious of our feigned relationship. And then, they would almost certainly check my student ID card…

Thinking of the proverb, ‘One cannot catch a wolf without sacrificing a child,’ and how I couldn’t bear not meeting the principal, I gritted my teeth. I had no choice but to go all out.

“Well, it doesn’t have to be *that* exaggerated, but since we’re pretending to be a couple, people at least need to see us as one. At the very least, the security guard needs to believe it…”

I steeled my resolve, brazenly saying this with a thick skin.

“C-couple…?”

Upon hearing the word, Linghu Ruoxu’s face flushed crimson, as if he’d been cooked. Had his internal energy been more profound, smoke might well have been billowing from the Baihui acupoint atop his head.

“So, so, student, what do you suggest we do?”

To be honest, I felt a bit awkward too. However, knowing my own ‘true colors,’ I was somewhat less flustered than the beet-red Linghu Ruoxu.

“H-holding hands should be enough, right?”

Unconsciously, my own face grew warm, and I lowered my head, speaking in a whisper.

“Ah, yes, yes… Okay, okay…”

Young Master Linghu’s brain had likely short-circuited by now, accepting whatever I said without question.

Despite my embarrassment, since I was the one who proposed it, no matter how unwilling I felt, I had to see it through! With a feeling akin to… well, a certain kind of date, I simply steeled myself, reached out my right hand without looking, seized Linghu Ruoxu’s left, and pulled him forward.

Linghu Ruoxu was caught off guard when I took his hand. From his bewildered expression, he hadn’t yet fully recovered from our earlier exchange.

He stumbled along behind me, staggering with every step. It wasn’t until we neared the checkpoint that his three souls and seven spirits finally returned to him.

He immediately began to stammer out urgent questions: “Y-you, you, what are you doing? Let go of me! You, how could you…”

Frankly, while Linghu Ruoxu was usually a bit quiet, his mind was generally quick. However, at this moment, it seemed his brain had received an excessive rush of blood, leaving his intelligence in a state of hibernation. This made me worry that he would blurt out our secret the moment he opened his mouth.

Yet, at this very instant, the security guard had already been drawn over by the commotion we were causing. He was peering in our direction, observing us with considerable interest as he approached.

My thoughts raced like lightning. In that critical moment,

I suddenly bit my lip and fiercely flung Linghu Ruoxu’s hand forward. The force almost sent him sprawling.

By the time he regained his footing, he was already standing awkwardly in front of me, directly facing the card reader.

“Swipe the card!”

I gritted my teeth, my pretty face contorted with anger, my eyes blazing with irritation, as I spat out those two short, imperious words.

“I… you… what’s wrong with you?”

Seeing my sudden behavior, Linghu Ruoxu was utterly bewildered, like a monk trying to fathom a two-zhang-tall puzzle [TL note: A Chinese idiom meaning completely confused]. Yet, my swift and decisive actions also seemed to instill a degree of fear in him.

Without waiting for him to finish, I immediately cut him off. I snapped, “I’m telling you to swipe the card!”

“I… I…”

Linghu Ruoxu was completely stunned by my inexplicable aura. He hesitated for a long time, unable to utter a single word.

“You’re not listening to me again, are you? Fine! If you won’t listen, then don’t ever listen! From now on, we go our separate ways! Don’t get in each other’s way!”

Fearing that prolonging the act would expose us, I quickly added more fuel to the fire, delivering another harsh declaration.

“I… I…”

Linghu Ruoxu remained utterly flustered.

“Hey, hey, hey, where does a young lady like you get such a temper!”

The security guard, having heard the commotion, immediately interjected, speaking to me. Then he turned to Linghu Ruoxu and added, “And you too! When a young couple has a spat, you should just humor her a little!”

Only then did Linghu Ruoxu seem to awaken from a dream, fumbling nervously for his student ID card and swiping it at the card reader.

Once I saw Linghu Ruoxu’s photo appear on the screen beside the card reader, I immediately let out a huff, turned my back, and stormed into the university without looking back.

After walking for a short distance, I secretly glanced back. I saw the security guard wave his hand at Linghu Ruoxu with a helpless expression, gesturing for him to hurry and follow me.

I immediately quickened my pace, swiftly turning around the bend.

“Student, student… wait for me…”

After I had walked a little further, Linghu Ruoxu’s calls finally reached me from behind.

I suddenly turned my head, curving my lips into a sweet smile. From a distance, I called out, “Student, thank you!”