Mei, as always, meticulously prepared breakfast. Around nine o’clock, Kiana and Bronya also made their way to the dining room.
Without turning from her task, Mei instructed Kiana, “Kiana, please wake Lady Qiweiya. My last dish is almost ready.”
“Got it! I’m going now,” Kiana replied without delay, heading straight for Qiweiya’s room.
****
Kiana stepped into the rather ordinary small room, which hardly resembled a girl’s space. Clutter lay scattered across the floor and table, devoid of any cute decorations.
Approaching the bed, Kiana observed the bulging duvet. “Lady Qiweiya, please wake up quickly! Sister Mei cooked your favorite sweet and sour pork ribs today. If you don’t hurry, we’ll eat it all!”
At the mention of pork ribs, the figure under the covers stirred. To Kiana’s astonishment, a black-haired, black-eyed Youth crawled out.
Kiana, in a panic, drew her Moonlight Goddess pistol and pressed it against his head, asking warily, “Who are you? Where have you taken Lady Qiweiya?”
The Youth, startled by the weapon at his head, stammered in a cute, childish voice, “Holy crap! Don’t shoot! I’m one of us, one of us!”
Kiana pressed the gun more firmly. “Who’s ‘one of us’ with you? Tell me where Lady Qiweiya is, or this gun will blow your brains out! Your end will be a gruesome mix of yellow, white, and red tofu pudding!”
The Youth looked at her piteously. “But I am Qiweiya…”
Kiana tapped his head. “Don’t lie to me! Every Valkyrie knows Lady Qiweiya dreams of becoming a man to ‘conquer’ us all day long! But due to the limitations of her body, she can never truly transform into a male. So, confess honestly!”
The Youth was on the verge of tears. “But I really am her! Put the gun down, and I’ll prove it.”
Kiana considered the Youth, realizing there was no way he could escape under her watchful eye. She put away her pistols. The Youth exhaled sharply, then indignantly pointed at her. “Once this old lady proves it, just you wait until I beat you to death!”
As the Youth spoke, a golden-blue light erupted from her, detaching from her form. The Youth collapsed to the ground as if losing her soul. The light coalesced into a small loli, barely five feet tall, wearing an ice-blue, low-cut gauze dress. It was unmistakably Qiweiya herself.
Kiana awkwardly waved. “Hi… Good morning, Lady Qiweiya! The weather’s lovely today, perfect for an outing.”
*Boom!* A flash of lightning streaked across the sky, and the formerly bright, clear day turned into a light drizzle.
Kiana’s face stiffened as she turned. “Lady Qiweiya, must you be so extreme? Can’t we just get along happily?”
Qiweiya rubbed her fists. “Get lost! Who’s getting along happily with you? This old lady only knows she’s going to beat you soundly right now to amuse herself, free her spirit, and get closer to nature!”
Kiana’s face crumpled. “I know I can’t escape a beating… but I only have one request.”
Qiweiya raised her chin. “Speak! I’ll give you a grand burial. If I’m in a good mood, I might even fulfill your last wish.”
Kiana rushed forward and hugged her waist, snot and tears flowing freely. “Wuwuwu! When you beat me, could you please kick your skirt up a little higher? I want to die beneath your pomegranate skirt!”
Qiweiya was first startled and shy, trying to push her away. But after Kiana finished speaking, her expression turned to an icy glare, with an added touch of ‘murderous intent’ for emphasis.
Qiweiya kicked Kiana away, then sat directly on her waist. *Pfft!* As Kiana groaned in pale agony, Qiweiya raised both fists. “Kiana, you pervert who only thinks about girl juice all day, you should go for a spin in hell and come back!”
“Bang bang bang bang! Thump thump thump!” Heavy fists rained down on Kiana. “Oh! My God (kidney)! Pfft! My lungs! Stop hitting me! Help! A god is killing a god!”
In the dining room, Mei and Bronya exchanged glances. Mei covered her face. “Again… Do they have to cause a ruckus every single day? This house will collapse sooner or later.”
“Bronya, however, believes the fact that the house hasn’t collapsed yet is a testament to the developers’ touching integrity, enduring the daily devastation by two gods.”
They both sighed, looking at each other. “Sigh~” *x2*
****
Mei lightly tapped the wooden table with her finger. “So, you two, feeling refreshed, fired an ‘Italian cannon’ that not only knocked down a wall but also shot off a mountain…”
Kneeling on a washboard, both wore fawning smiles. Qiweiya rubbed her hands together. “Um, Mei, look, I’ve already fixed the wall and restored the mountain… so can we please stop kneeling?” She spoke with tear-filled, pitiful eyes, making a prayer gesture. “My knees are killing me, see how pathetic I am! Please forgive me! It was all Kiana’s fault; punish her instead.”
Kiana, who had been ready to accept her punishment, widened her eyes. “Qiweiya, you damn loli! Just you wait, I’ll shoot you dead! This time, I’ll definitely hit you!”
Qiweiya scoffed disdainfully. “Try to show off in front of Mei, I dare you? Can’t come over now, can you? Come on! Hit me here!” She even leaned her face closer.
Kiana gritted her teeth, grinding noises constantly emanating from her mouth. After several minutes of resolute resistance under Qiweiya’s mockery, she finally couldn’t hold back and lunged forward, biting her. Perhaps it was time to say Kiana finally bit back?
*Clang! Clang!* “Ouch!” *x2*
Mei looked at the two comedic figures rubbing their heads, her expression calm. “So, Lady Qiweiya, you now have a way to transform into a male, and you’ve decided to switch to using a greatsword?”
Qiweiya nodded wildly, as if high on drugs. “Exactly, exactly! Imagine a Youth carrying a greatsword, encountering a bunch of bullies who pick on the weak, and then *’Hoo-hoo-ha-hey!’* smashing them flat in a few moves! How cool would that scene be?”
Mei’s peculiar expression clearly couldn’t accept such a bizarre sight as people being flattened into meat paste as ‘cool.’ Horrifying, yes, but cool? Definitely not.
Kiana, equally appalled, shrieked, “You not only want to become a disgusting male, but you also want to carry a greatsword, a weapon used by uncivilized primitives!”
Qiweiya retorted, “Uncivilized? This is the true man’s romantic dream! How could a girl like you understand our male hearts?”
Bronya coldly interjected, “But Qiweiya is still a loli!”
Qiweiya turned ashen. “Yes… I’m still a girl… and a short loli, barely five feet tall…”
Mei truly couldn’t comprehend her superior’s thought process, finding it romantic and cool to flatten people into meat paste. This world was truly terrifying! The world’s strongest goddess was a bloody maniac. In short: doom was imminent.
Qiweiya recovered. “It doesn’t matter! So what if I’m a loli? As long as I can keep charming girls! Yuri is the true path! Heterosexuals can go die in a ditch!”
Kiana clutched her forehead. “It’s over… she’s completely broken now!”
Mei also looked helpless. “Now we can only hope Lady Qiweiya doesn’t go out and take it out on society…”
“So, to better discover cute girls with potential for development, we shall become students! Then, like those transmigrator protagonists, we’ll charm teachers, charm classmates, play the hero, defeat all kinds of bosses, and reach the pinnacle of life! Oh, oh, oh!”
“Nani! Become students?” *x3*
Qiweiya turned her head with an innocent, adorable expression and asked, “Yes, why not? What’s wrong with being students? Even we gods must study hard every day and strive for improvement. Don’t you know the saying, ‘Learning makes me happy!'”
Kiana walked up to Qiweiya and said ominously, “Mei, let’s just consider burying her and then touring the continent. This one is truly too dangerous!”
Mei nodded. “No need to consider, let’s bury her now. I’m trying to figure out what kind of Genesis-level seal would be strong enough to keep her contained.”
Qiweiya panicked. “Holy crap! You’re going to bury me just because I want to be a student? What grudge do you have against schools? Wait! Shouldn’t I be running now? Help!”