Seeing this unfamiliar side of him, I wondered, ‘Is he perhaps jealous?’ and found it strange.
But no matter how I looked at it, that was indeed jealousy.
Beomwoo made no attempt to hide such emotions, so it was clearly visible.
When Haejin saw this new side of Beomwoo, he had sometimes felt a good feeling.
But this time he was a bit puzzled.
It wasn’t an emotion he could call pleasant.
The question of ‘Why?’ loomed larger.
When he pretended to be fond and treated him well, Haejin had felt both pleased and bitter.
He thought, ‘How nice it would have been if he had treated me like this in my previous life, even without any real feelings.’
But now, seeing him exhibit what seemed like jealousy, he just wondered, ‘Why?’
It was one thing to be nice to win someone’s favor.
But in Haejin’s mind, jealousy wasn’t part of that.
It was just an act.
Was he deliberately saying such things to immerse himself in the role?
He didn’t understand why he would go to such lengths.
But feeling awkward, Haejin was at a loss for words in his fluster.
He responded with a hint of absurdity.
“No, I-I’m not meeting them to date or anything.”
“I know that.”
“I know it’s unavoidable.”
“If you know, then why would you say something like that…?”
The problem wasn’t that it was unavoidable.
The very statement felt strange…
As Haejin mumbled with a face that still showed he couldn’t understand, Beomwoo continued.
His expression still seemed displeased.
“I’m not criticizing you for it.”
“I’m just saying that’s how I feel.”
“I told you, didn’t I?”
“I felt something special for you from the very first time I saw you.”
“……”
“When someone you have feelings for says they’re going to meet other people, who in this world would be okay with that?”
Why does this person keep on… acting as if it’s real?
Haejin couldn’t understand if this was how people normally acted when trying to woo someone.
Yet, while finding his words absurd and harboring doubts, he caught himself thinking, ‘Could there be a tiny bit of sincerity in those words…?’
Even though he had said he didn’t understand, here he was, being swayed by just one of his statements again.
Am I supposed to be this foolish?
Even now, while trying hard to seal my heart shut, it feels this easy.
Wouldn’t I have looked even more foolish in my past life?
Thinking that there was no great difference between his past life and now, and that he hadn’t progressed at all, Haejin tried to calm his heart.
He spoke weakly.
“It’s just… it’s the same as how I’ve been meeting separately with you, Beomwoo, so it doesn’t hold any special meaning.”
“……”
“So, you don’t need to worry about it.”
When Haejin spoke coldly, cutting him off as if not to be swayed, Beomwoo closed his mouth.
A momentary silence fell.
It wasn’t that either he or Beomwoo were particularly talkative.
So it wasn’t uncommon for them to share a space without conversation.
But knowing the silence was caused by his words made it suffocating.
It was right to reject him.
Since he wasn’t seeing Beomwoo as a marriage prospect while meeting the others, his words weren’t untrue.
But he felt he had cut him off too coldly.
However, wasn’t this the only way with someone who was decorating his heart with lies?
He believed this was right.
But regardless, he couldn’t help feeling self-conscious.
As Haejin was wondering if he could steer the conversation elsewhere, rolling his round eyes about, the moment came.
Beomwoo, who had been keeping his mouth firmly shut, spoke in a low voice.
“It’s different.”
“I’ve never been on a single date with you, so how can it be the same?”
“……Pardon?”
“Meeting you has only ever been about resolving Haejin’s problems, but this isn’t that, is it?”
“It’s a date to explore the potential for a romantic relationship.”
“So, it’s different.”
No… what kind of talk is this?
For a moment, his words didn’t make sense, and his mind went blank.
Then, belatedly, it started to become vaguely understandable.
He had implied that since his mindset in meeting Beomwoo or meeting his brothers was the same, there was no need to worry about fake jealousy or anything.
But he seemed to be distinguishing the difference based on the intention of the meeting, not the mindset.
He was worried that he had pushed him away too coldly, but he didn’t seem hurt.
He just seemed concerned about the difference.
It was fortunate he wasn’t hurt by his words.
But thinking he only cared about what was right or wrong made him feel somewhat empty.
No, perhaps it’s better this way…?
As Haejin felt baffled and was about to say that since his mindset was like this, there was no difference anyway, Beomwoo looked him straight in the eye.
He spoke first.
“Will you give the first one to me?”
“……Pardon?”
“First, you say?”
“That date, I mean.”
“I want to be the first one.”
Beomwoo made a request of him.
He would be meeting his brothers from now on.
So he asked that the first date be with him.
Haejin, forgetting the emptiness he felt from his earlier words, became flustered.
He had only thought of meeting his brothers as an obligation.
He never considered it a date.
The thought of having to date people he had no feelings for felt burdensome.
On the other hand, hearing him speak as if being the first held meaning made him feel strange.
Throughout his past life, he had never met him using the word ‘date’.
When they dined out together or went to nice places, he was the only one who thought of it as a date and felt anticipation.
But now… to see Beomwoo, who not only says he wants to date me but wishes to be the first date…
He felt curious about what he would actually plan when he asked him on a date directly.
A sense of anticipation welled up.
And apart from such personal feelings, the thought that dating Beomwoo would be much more psychologically comfortable than dating the unfamiliar first or second brother made his thoughts flow in a positive direction.
But while giving him the first date opportunity was fine, the problem was… accepting his request felt like needlessly bestowing a sense of specialness.
When he needed to push him away, he shouldn’t give him hope.
So, Haejin, even though his request wasn’t particularly difficult, tried to indirectly refuse it.
“That seems like a matter you should discuss with your brothers, not me.”
“A single word from you, Haejin, is enough.”
“As for the reason, I can say it’s because I have something to help you with.”
“……”
But even with an excuse for refusal, Beomwoo wouldn’t let it go.
He wanted to hear his consent.
He had reasons.
If he said so, the others couldn’t oppose it.
So he insisted on asking him directly for the first opportunity.
He had even created a justification to persuade his brothers.
Unlike the other brothers, he actually had something to offer him.
So he could indeed agree to have the first date with him as he wished.
Anyway, whether it was the first date or not held no special meaning for him.
It was something he had to do with someone.
However, Haejin, recalling him from his past life, felt thoroughly vexed.
Logically, he knew the man before him now had never treated him poorly.
He was one-sided at first, but was gradually treating him better.
But because he knew his past life, his lies seemed transparently obvious.
In reality, the Beomwoo before him had merely tried to appeal to someone he wanted to win over.
He had done nothing wrong.
Yet Haejin felt annoyed.
He added the crime of being detestable to his feelings.
And even while knowing this was misplaced anger towards him from his past life, he pouted his lips.
He retorted curtly.
“You could just… not tell me and lie to your brothers, saying you decided the order that way…”
“I don’t want to lie to you.”
“……”
It’s all lies from start to finish.
Seeing him act as if he couldn’t even utter a lie, even though he knew everything, made it even more absurd.
He doesn’t know I’ve regressed.
He thinks I don’t know he has no real interest in me.
So he can lie so brazenly.
Even so, I don’t know how he can do that without batting an eye, not being an actor.
I knew he was quite good at being shameless.
But was he originally good at acting?
If I didn’t know my past life, I might have believed those words were sincere.
As Haejin was thinking of him as even more absurd, Beomwoo, seemingly unaware of his feelings, continued to plead with him.
“Will you choose me?”
“……”
With a truly earnest expression.
Perhaps because he noticed his reluctance.
Or perhaps because his lack of answer made him awkward, his voice trembled slightly.
Using insincere lies to coax, knowing he would change completely once married, made him so hateful.
It made him still resentful.
Yet, Haejin softened more towards him acting vulnerable than towards him acting brazenly as if he had entrusted something to him.
When it came to matters related to his adoptive parents, he tried to be resolute.
He could cut off ties despite his lingering affection.
So why couldn’t he do the same with Beomwoo?
In reality, he was the one who had made him feel the most lonely.
While thinking, ‘Will I forever play the subservient role to him?’, Haejin ultimately ended up granting him the first date.