The Winner’s Miserable Smile

The heat invading my lips again was scorching.

My breathing ran out much faster than usual, and I tried to shake my head somehow, but it wasn’t easy.

As if pinning down my struggling body, my arms were restrained on both sides, and his fingers threaded through mine, locking tightly together.

The wet, messy sounds felt like they were collecting somewhere inside my head.

“Mmh…”

Why was he acting so impatient?

I didn’t know.

The way he traced my teeth, tangled our tongues, then sucked at my lips felt strangely urgent.

After stealing away every bit of my breath, he greedily swallowed even the ragged gasps escaping me and pressed himself closer.

A hand slipped beneath my shirt and into the upper body trapped tightly against him.

The hand that slid beneath the fabric had lost its usual coolness and radiated burning heat.

‘He’s seriously gone crazy.’

The words don’t clung to the tip of my tongue, only to melt away into the kiss.

I couldn’t say it.

I didn’t want to say it.

I just wanted to cross the line while pretending not to know anything.

People could point fingers and call it pathetic escapism all they wanted. I couldn’t help it.

Even after Woo Jaeyoung moved and my arms became free, I still didn’t push him away or stop him.

I only desperately sucked in the air I lacked.

Woo Jaeyoung started this first anyway.

The future after I left… the people remaining behind would figure something out somehow.

Following my heart wasn’t wrong, was it?

I liked Woo Jaeyoung too.

If I could enjoy this warmth like some kind of blessing… couldn’t I just keep all of it for myself?

Countless excuses, shifting responsibility, cowardly thoughts came and went in an instant.

“You’re thinking about something else.”

He bit down on the back of my neck.

Pain sharp enough to bring tears to my eyes made me cry out without meaning to.

He caught my struggling hand and draped it over his shoulder naturally.

As if soothing me, he lightly kissed where he’d bitten, licked over it, then sucked gently with a small sound.

“It hurts.”

“Still?”

Woo Jaeyoung smiled while nibbling lightly at my skin like a puppy.

His breath brushed across the exposed nape of my neck, sending shivers racing down my body.

“It shouldn’t.”

“…Hng.”

“You always do this too.”

“When you’re embarrassed, you say it hurts and run away.”

“But what can I do?”

“Your little tricks don’t work on me.”

“Hyung catches on fast.”

His whisper sounded like deliberate temptation.

Before I knew it, my shirt had already been pushed up.

His hands slowly traced across my body as if measuring every inch, then he clicked his tongue.

Apparently he didn’t like how much thinner I’d become compared to what he remembered.

His hand moved down my back, from between my shoulder blades to the base of my spine.

As his touch followed the hollow line there, my waist lifted on its own.

At this rate, my heart felt like it might burst straight through my skin.

The pounding was so violent my vision nearly spun.

Woo Jaeyoung had been right.

Thunder didn’t matter anymore.

This sound was much louder.

Much, much louder.

Only when his thigh pressed firmly between my legs did I finally come back to my senses.

“Hyung!”

He was busy kissing my shoulder.

“What is it, baby?”

“This… this…”

“This…”

Absolutely not because of the pressure between my legs.

“I don’t think this is right…”

“You don’t want it?”

“It’s not that I don’t…”

I wanted to smack my own mouth for not being able to say no.

Because I didn’t dislike it, I had to force myself to think even harder.

Did Woo Jaeyoung know that?

Probably not.

He always acted directly.

He probably never twisted himself up with thoughts like I did.

“Well…”

“I know it’s not that you hate it.”

Woo Jaeyoung rested an ear lightly against my chest and chuckled.

“Your heart’s beating this loudly.”

“Stop teasing…”

“Okay, okay.”

“Good boy.”

Light kisses continued.

Lower and lower.

Then suddenly—

A wet fingertip touched bare skin.

That brief stillness before chaos erupted.

Darkness.

A damp hand.

Breathing caught at my throat.

And then a scream-like voice burst from my mouth.

“…No.”

He’d thought everything was fine.

The reactions had seemed normal.

The warmth, the expressions, even the little habits resembled the person he remembered.

Woo Jaeyoung had smiled secretly each time his lips touched soft skin, feeling a strange satisfaction and possessiveness.

He thought that was enough.

As long as he didn’t hurt him.

As long as he stopped if he said no.

Those had always been the rules.

So he thought it would be enough this time too.

“Yoo Sowon.”

“……”

“Sowon.”

Something was wrong.

The trembling body beneath him wasn’t normal.

Startled, Woo Jaeyoung quickly bent down.

His heart was pounding violently, but there was no breathing.

The trembling that started deep inside his lungs spread across his whole body.

Woo Jaeyoung pressed hard just above his stomach.

Only then did a sharp gasp finally escape him.

“Don’t…”

“Don’t do it…”

Without anyone noticing, Yoo Sowon had started crying so hard his cheeks were soaked through.

“I’m scared.”

“It hurts.”

“Don’t come close…”

“I want to go back…”

“I said no…”

Woo Jaeyoung’s pupils expanded with fury.

“No, right?”

“……”

“No, Yoo Sowon.”

“It’s not what I’m thinking, right?”

He wasn’t expecting an answer.

Woo Jaeyoung immediately pulled him into his arms.

He wiped away the tears overflowing from his face over and over, held his sweat-soaked body close, and stroked his hair soothingly.

With one hand, he frantically pulled out his phone and called someone.

“I won’t do anything.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Breathe.”

“Hng… hhk…”

“I won’t do anything.”

“It’s safe here.”

“f*ck… I lost my mind.”

“Slowly.”

“Sowon.”

“Breathe through your nose.”

His eyes were open.

But he wasn’t really there.

And when Woo Jaeyoung finally forced his gaze toward him…

Those eyes were empty.

For the first time in a long while, fear stabbed straight through him.

He thought he’d rather someone drive a knife into his stomach.

That would hurt less.

“Hyung…”

“When are you coming?”

Yoo Sowon asked with a face devoid of warmth.

“Hyung…”

“You’re not coming, right?”

“Because you’re not someone who makes weaknesses.”

“So you won’t come.”

“Why would you come for someone like me?”

“So I told them instead.”

“I told them you wouldn’t come.”

“That I’m nothing.”

“…Then who’s going to come get me?”

“What the f*ck are you saying?”

Woo Jaeyoung gritted his teeth and hugged him so tightly it seemed he might break apart.

Everything he’d done came flying back like arrows snapped by the wind.

He couldn’t avoid them.

And he didn’t want to.

Even if they pierced through his entire body.

Because if he showed weakness now—

He felt like he’d truly lose Yoo Sowon this time.

“I won’t be late again, Sowon.”

“……”

“Even if you fall to the bottom of hell, I’ll find you.”

He held Yoo Sowon for a long time until the trembling finally faded.

After his exhausted body finally went limp, Woo Jaeyoung still pressed trembling fingers beneath his nose again and again, checking for breath despite knowing he’d only fainted.

“Jang Hanseon.”

The man standing by the door quietly answered.

“Yes.”

“You said there weren’t any signs of someone touching him like this.”

“There weren’t.”

“Then why the f*ck is he going into shock?”

His dark eyes turned toward the doorway like a beast.

“I don’t have a hobby of assaulting kids.”

“I’ve never done that.”

“But he’s crying.”

“Does this look normal?”

“When I examined him, there weren’t physical signs…”

“But depending on the drugs used…”

“It’s possible there was an attempted assault.”

“…Though it didn’t go through completely.”

“You’re real quick saying that now, huh?”

“Hanseon.”

“Looks like you want to die.”

“……”

“I spare a traitor once and…”

Lightning flashed again.

And the man standing in the doorway became visible.

Jang Hanseon slowly adjusted the silver-rimmed glasses hanging from his coat pocket.

“If Gong Chanhyuk was really behind the kidnapping…”

“I assumed they wouldn’t touch him before finishing the job.”

“You think street thugs always listen?”

“Some always go off on their own.”

“Didn’t know that?”

“…I’m sorry.”

“Should we move him to a hospital?”

“He hates hospitals.”

“Treat him here.”

“Give him sedatives and let him sleep.”

“And disappear before he wakes up.”

“Yes, hyung.”

After Jang Hanseon began hanging the IV, he spoke carefully.

“You said Yoo Sowon knew I was a traitor.”

“Yeah.”

“And he claims…”

“That this isn’t dissociative identity disorder.”

“But possession from another world.”

“Yeah.”

“That he remembers our lives…”

“As a kind of ‘original story.'”

Woo Jaeyoung leaned his head against the wall and laughed bitterly.

“So I made a bet with the rat.”

“I bet Yoo Sowon had dissociative identity disorder.”

“And the rat bet that Yoo Sowon disappeared and some other bastard came in at the worst timing possible.”

Jang Hanseon released Yoo Sowon’s cold hand and looked up.

“I won.”

“……”

“I won the bet.”

The victor’s face held only a miserable smile.