Chapter 29: Try calling me ‘Unnie’

Hwajuyeon’s request was unexpected and sudden. Asking to hold hands… that felt strange, even with someone of the same s*x.

Seeing my hesitation, Hwajuyeon’s face fell. She already seemed down, and her expression only intensified that feeling.

Holding hands felt awkward… I kept opening and closing my hand. I hadn’t held hands in so long; I subconsciously felt resistance.

Seeing my hesitation, Hwajuyeon said dejectedly that it was okay if I didn’t want to. I felt like a criminal.

But maybe it was a difference in social norms based on gender. I’d heard that girls often hold hands and go to the bathroom together in elementary and middle school.

Girls didn’t seem to mind same-s*x physical contact, unlike boys. At least, that was my experience as a boy.

You could say I hadn’t experienced it because I lacked friends… but even from my isolated corner, I’d never seen boys hold hands, though they often engaged in roughhousing.

It was a difference in social norms between me (a man) and Hwajuyeon (a woman). But now we’re both women. Wait, I am at fault.

Hwajuyeon wouldn’t know I was once a man. For a normal woman, this would be a simple request, but it’s a huge deal for me.

Yes. Refusal would be a crime. And I didn’t want to see her so dejected. It pained me, not maliciously, but empathetically.

I might not deserve to, but I took a step closer and carefully took her drooping hand.

I’d long since stopped worrying about consequences. I gently placed her hand on mine, intertwining our fingers.

I held her hand firmly, but not painfully. This was probably called “khakji” (intertwined fingers).

“… !?!!?”

My impression of this new experience… it was incredibly warm. Was this Hwajuyeon’s warmth? The pleasant warmth made me feel blissful.

Keeping our hands intertwined, I slowly lowered them. Hwajuyeon remained still, so it was entirely my action.

Why was she doing this? Was this not what she’d wanted? I tilted my head. Did I overstep…?

“…Hwajuyeon?”

“Ye…yes…?”

I’d messed up. She wasn’t in a state to communicate. In the awkward silence, I gently moved our hands.

“If you don’t want to…”

“Ah… no!?”

“H-eek!?”

What?! Why are you shouting? Her sharp voice startled me; I looked at Hwajuyeon. My pupils were probably dilated in shock.

What did I just say? Did I make a sound a man shouldn’t? It was entirely feminine.

There were many things I could question, but I decided to let it go. I was too tired to argue. Things seemed to happen more frequently since becoming a woman.

“Ah… I’m sorry for shouting. I… I like this…”

Perhaps she’d apologized because I was startled. She blushed and confessed shyly. It was breathtaking.

Especially since she was so beautiful. It felt like a scene from a romance drama; she was the quintessential pure and innocent female lead.

Admiring her shyness, I worried. How much had she suffered to become this vulnerable?

“Ah… ah…?”

Without thinking, I embraced Hwajuyeon. I gently stroked her orange hair. It wasn’t intentional; it was instinctive.

It just felt right. Honestly, I did it impulsively and justified it later…

But would Hwajuyeon accept this? Even with women, this could be considered sexual harassment, right?

This line of thought made me anxious. Most crimes are impulsive, right? I hadn’t asked before hugging her.

But… Hwajuyeon is taller and stronger; if she didn’t like it, she would’ve resisted. My criminal mind was growing.

Hwajuyeon didn’t show any dislike. She didn’t resist and remained still. She’s actually taller, so I was being hugged, but that’s minor.

The real problem was different. Even at night, hugging in a public park for several minutes was embarrassing, and Hwajuyeon felt the same.

After five minutes, she gently pushed me away. It wasn’t forceful, but I was relieved. If she’d stayed silent, I would have been fidgeting.

“Shall we… walk…?”

“Yes….”

This is awkward. It hadn’t been like this before. It was all my fault. It was insane, even thinking about it now.

How could I even think of hugging her? I’m an idiot. I should’ve thought before acting.

Thankfully, shortly after starting our walk, Hwajuyeon took my hand. I didn’t know if it was forgiveness, but my worry about being disliked vanished.

Walking with Hwajuyeon, I looked around. The park was exceptionally well-maintained. It hadn’t been like this before. Maybe it’s been a long time.

The neatly manicured grounds and small lake were beautiful.

The paths were also well-maintained. It was a perfect place for evening walks, even with someone else.

Our conversation faltered. The earlier shock hadn’t completely subsided. This was my karma. I decided to speak first.

Ah, I hate doing this.

“Would… would you like to walk together like this sometimes?”

“Ye…yes? Really??”

“Today felt too short.”

“I’d like that!”

Hwajuyeon’s spirits lifted immediately. She’d returned to her usual self; I was relieved.

She began chatting normally, no longer the stern community moderator.

As we talked, Hwajuyeon suddenly suggested dropping the formalities. I’d been thinking the same, so I nodded. We’re friends now.

Surprisingly, Hwajuyeon is older. Three years older. What does that mean?

“Call me Unnie.”

“No… I don’t want to.”

“But Jia is a kid, and Unnie is an adult?”

“We’re both adults…”

“Really?”

Hwajuyeon—no, Hwajuyeon-unnie—wanted to settle the honorifics. Unnie… I’d only used that term for one person, excluding family.

I’m a man. I wouldn’t do that.

“Oh? You won’t? Jia suddenly hugged me tightly—”

“Unnie… Unnie!”

“Are you starting to feel comfortable with it?”

Her teasing made me want to punch her. Why did I bother comforting her? Even without me, she’d probably have been fine.

“Unnie…”

“Why… why? You’re not hitting me, are you? That’s insubordination!”

I repeated the word, feeling slightly awkward, ignoring her. I lightly bit my lip.

Well, it’s not bad.