‘A bit of a breeze—it’s a lifesaver.’
Since the air conditioner my father had installed hadn’t arrived at school yet, a refreshing breeze, a rare treat, swept in through the temporarily wide-open windows on the left.
As the only reprieve in the sweltering heat, the sudden gust of wind sent the boys, always prone to exaggeration, into a frenzy. Despite their subject teacher’s stern warnings, every single one of them twisted their heads to the left, desperate to catch even a whisper of the cool air.
The hulking boy was no exception.
“……”
“……”
The boy, whose shaggy hair hung long, slowly turned his head toward the window, and naturally, our gazes met. In truth, his hair covered not only his eyebrows but even his eyelids, so whether our eyes actually met or not was impossible to tell, yet I felt as if they had.
Considering he didn’t press himself against the wall and hunch his shoulders as before, even when I stared intently at him, it seemed he was looking past me, out the window. But since it was a good excuse, I used it to scrutinize his face relentlessly.
‘This can’t get complicated.’
That guy, he was, quite literally, a variable. Judging by the reactions, it seemed Jeong Yu-shin’s antics with this punk weren’t a recent development. With no way to decisively crush one side as I had in my previous school, I had to carefully observe both their reactions and play a delicate tug-of-war.
I briefly considered switching to a different social circle, but without a clear impetus, I wasn’t keen on enduring people who didn’t suit my temperament.
Attending school indifferently among equally indifferent guys, graduating without much fuss, and then studying abroad—that alone would satisfy my father.
Before expecting anything from me, that man simply wanted me not to tarnish his name.
“The bell’s rung. We’ll finish today’s class here, and Seong-tae, you. After lunch, come to the faculty office for the handouts. The midterm exam scope is all summarized there, so make sure to distribute them to everyone.”
“Yes.”
“Alright, class dismissed. Enjoy your meal, everyone.”
The bell rang for class, leaving a persistent sense of unease. It was finally lunchtime, the highlight of school life, eagerly awaited by countless male students. However, this school had its own tradition: the oldest students were served first, with the order descending by grade.
Unlike my previous school, the dark-haired boys simply gathered in small groups even after the bell, chatting idly as they waited for their turn.
Seizing this moment, I casually approached the delinquent group again and apologized.
“Hey.”
“…Huh?”
“My apologies. I’ve had a lot of bad things happening these past couple of days, and I think I was a bit tense trying to make new friends at a new school. I ended up taking it out on the wrong guy.”
I had never once apologized to Kim Chang-woo, who I’d beaten to within an inch of his life, resulting in a sixteen-week recovery. Yet, strangely, this time, it didn’t feel like a blow to my pride.
How should I put it? It felt like I was bestowing charity upon a beggar whose circumstances were far inferior to mine.
As I recited the script I had memorized, word for word, as if reading from a textbook, I felt like an actor in a TV show.
“Instead, I’ll buy you a pack of cigarettes whenever you feel like it. I’m an adult, so I can go in and out of convenience stores freely. Sound good?”
“Whoa, hell yeah, then we’re thankful. It’s not like Jeong Yu-shin’s been causing trouble with guys with his shitty mouth for the first time.”
“What the hell did I do?”
“Idiot, just let it go. This guy always acts narrow-minded like a girl in the wrong place, I swear.”
Look at them now. I wasn’t even acting particularly sorry, and frankly, it was clear my apology was just a formality. Yet, they were so easily won over by a legal pack of cigarettes. With the surrounding guys chiming in, Jeong Yu-shin, who still seemed to have some lingering reservations, was also trying to gloss over the situation.
Convinced that the situation was more or less resolved, I casually slung my arms over their shoulders and ambled towards the cafeteria the moment the second bell, signaling the second-year students’ lunch time, rang.
The hulking boy’s seat, which I glimpsed as I exited the classroom, was empty.
“Hey, what’s with today’s lunch menu? Yesterday they gave us a rat’s portion, but today, what’s with the quantity? Is the nutritionist’s mind also going haywire because of the heat?”
“If you’re not going to eat that, give it to me.”
“Ah, get lost, you idiot. I’m going to eat it. I left it there to savor, so don’t touch it!”
It was a scorching summer, and I’d thought the old air conditioner in the cafeteria might make it somewhat bearable, but this was irritating in its own way. What was so great about cheap pork cutlets reeking of frying oil? The guys around me, like famished hyenas, glared at each other, ready to snatch food from their neighbors’ trays.
Metal chopsticks with strange patterns on their ends clattered across the lunch trays, and eventually, they even eyed my untouched tray, which held all the side dishes.
I readily offered them the food on my tray, considering it an extension of my charity since I wasn’t going to eat it anyway.
“Really, really? You won’t take it back later, right?”
“Yeah, my stomach’s been bothering me since morning, so I was just going to skip it.”
“Whoa, what a rich bastard. Leaving pork cutlets behind.”
“It’s fine, we’ll eat it all for you.”
“Ah, look at Jeong Yu-shin, he snatches the pork cutlet the moment I mention it. What a sly bastard, like he’s not a beggar or something!”
I’d thought they’d quiet down if I just handed over the side dishes, but the distinct smell of sweat from the boys pressing close made my mood twice as bad. I mumbled an excuse about needing a cigarette to get rid of the unpleasant taste in my mouth, handed over my tray, and quietly rose from my seat, crossing the cafeteria. As I strode purposefully towards the cafeteria exit, stinging gazes, conscious of my presence, rained down on me from everywhere.
With skin lightly tanned by the sun and striking, yet refined, features inherited from my father, I had often been told since childhood that my impression was subtly fierce. Such reactions were no longer new to me.
All I wanted was to escape this cafeteria, thick with the smell of these boys, as quickly as possible.
“Hey, wanna go to the snack shop? Do they have Bobstar?”
“Can someone lend me a hundred won? Seung-won wants ice cream, but I’m exactly a hundred won short!”
“Ugh, you crazy bastard. Aegyo? Get your face away from me! Are you gay?”
Finally escaping the cafeteria, I walked along the path, my head swiveling to find a discreet spot. Just then, a noisy group of first-year students, heading to the cafeteria late, brushed past me. I had expected a large student body given it was the biggest school in the vicinity, but I never imagined the line in front of the cafeteria would still stretch so long, even thirty minutes after the bell.
I clicked my tongue, watching the chaotic scene, which resembled a cockroach-infested slop bucket.
Soon, as I ambled around, looking for a suitable hiding place, my eyes landed on the hill behind the auditorium, which was currently under construction.
On a wooden bench atop the hill, the hulking boy, who had vanished so abruptly after the bell, sat with his head bowed, engrossed in something.
*Thump*
Perhaps because it was an eerie hill behind an old auditorium, not many people ventured there, making it relatively secluded from prying eyes. I ascended the hill with ease. ‘Ease’ was a relative term; from the middle of the hill, there was no proper path, so I had to make my own way, gripping the ground or nearby trees.
Fortunately, my childhood training came in handy, allowing me to scale the path in one go, stepping on the exposed tree roots. However, I doubted an ordinary person without athletic prowess would even dare to attempt it.
“Hey.”
“?”
With no one around to see, I habitually pulled out a cigarette and a lighter from my pocket, lit it, and then addressed the hulking boy, who remained focused solely on the scene before him. Clearly not expecting anyone to speak to him, the boy, startled, dropped the chopsticks he was holding as he turned to look at me, who had just set foot on the hilltop.
*Clang*
On a hill, next to a tree, on a bench—what on earth were chopsticks doing here? I immediately approached him, scrutinizing him from head to toe. Sure enough, he had fled here to escape the gazes of others and was eating his lunchbox alone.
“Hey.”
“……”
“Hey.”
In a small side dish container, barely qualifying as a lunchbox, various clumsily packed side dishes were mixed with old, stale rice, emitting a strange odor.
It was clearly not food fit for a human, yet he had already devoured half of it, even getting rice stuck to his lips.
“Why aren’t you eating the school lunch?”
“……”
“You weren’t in the cafeteria earlier, so I came looking for you out of curiosity. What is this, eating a lunchbox like it’s the 80s?”