A Quiet Place for Heavy Thoughts

I waved casually at the others and began walking down the street.

For a few minutes, I carefully avoided bumping into people.

I had taken the wrong direction for catching a taxi, but I didn’t have the energy to cross the road.

After waving for a while, I finally got a taxi and gave my home address.

I must have dozed off, because when I opened my eyes, we were already near the park close to my house.

The fare was a bit higher than expected.

Still, considering I had fallen asleep, it seemed the driver hadn’t taken a long detour.

Instead of heading straight to my one-room apartment at the entrance of the alley,

I walked into the brightly lit convenience store below.

Water, a hangover drink, and one can of beer.

After buying them, I stepped out and sat on a bench in the small, empty park.

I stared blankly at the quiet scenery.

Then I looked up at the sky for no particular reason.

The city night, where stars were barely visible, felt unremarkable.

Thinking about my older sister back home made me feel a little down,

so I opened the beer and drank it in one go.

The carbonation helped clear my head slightly.

Whenever something upsetting happens,

I come to this spot and open a can of beer.

I don’t want to bring my sadness into my room.

When did this habit start.

I know it was sometime after my mother passed away

and I had just moved here for university.

I took another sip, holding the cold can tightly with both hands.

Even after drinking more than half,

the worries from today wouldn’t settle.

It seemed that the director had joined the dinner because of me.

To give me a warning.

Even though I’m a beta—and a man—with those feelings,

he didn’t fire me or transfer me,

but instead chose to give me a hint.

How embarrassing.

Should I resign.

Today’s worries didn’t seem like something a single can of beer could solve.

Even after finishing it, my mood didn’t improve.

Maybe I should have just gone to graduate school as planned.

Should I contact my professor.

Tell him I’ll quit and return.

I could almost hear his loud voice in my ears.

He had called me a traitor before.

Would he even accept me now.

To calm myself, I opened another can of beer.

Only when I couldn’t endure it any longer did I return to my room.

Even climbing up to the second floor felt exhausting.

I collapsed onto the bed and fell asleep.

The moment I turned my body under the warm sunlight, I froze.

Sunlight.

Why was sunlight coming into my room.

Startled, I jumped up and looked at the clock.

It was just before 8.

Not only had I failed to submit the report on time,

I was on the verge of being late.

How could someone sleep so peacefully after hearing all that yesterday.

I thought as I rushed out, shaking off my damp hair.

I squeezed into the crowded subway,

ran through the lobby after reaching the office,

tagged my card, and barely made it through the gate.

Then I forced myself into the last bit of space in the elevator.

The team members, already there, clicked their tongues at my disheveled entrance.

Especially the manager.

“I knew you’d be late. Nara organized the report for you.”

“I’m sorry. That was my responsibility.”

“If you’re sorry, buy us lunch later. And coffee too.”

She handed me the file in her usual crisp tone.

It was the daily summary of project updates from each department.

My usual morning task.

After bowing in thanks, I was about to enter the director’s office when Nara stopped me.

She held up a desk mirror in front of my face.

My face and hair after washing with cold water were…

“I look terrible.”

“Not that bad, but at least fix your hair before going in.”

I roughly smoothed my brown hair and adjusted my tie.

Still, I looked messy.

With a resigned mindset, I knocked and entered the office.

Before I could even gather my thoughts,

I saw the sleek nameplate on the desk: Jeong Won-woo.

He looked at me.

Without expression, his face seemed cold.

“I’m sorry for being late with the report.”

“I told you before lunch is fine.”

Even as he said that, he reached out and took the report.

As I stepped closer, his gaze softened slightly as he looked me over.

Then he bit his lip briefly, as if holding back a smile.

“Assistant Yoon.”

“Yes.”

“Never mind.”

His cheek twitched slightly.

As I stood there confused, he flipped through the report casually.

“Your messy hair looks just like…”

“I’m sorry. I rushed this morning and didn’t fix it yet.”

“No. It’s like a shaggy dog from the chairman’s house… that’s all.”

“…Excuse me?”

“You can go.”

A shaggy dog.

After saying what he wanted,

he immediately returned to a serious expression and focused on the report.

I left the office in a daze.

A shaggy dog.

What a compliment.

I sat at my desk across from his office, still blank.

There were no calls or messages from inside all morning.

While answering calls, I glanced at my reflection once in the drawer mirror.

Then a guest arrived.

He was the director’s acquaintance from his study abroad days,

also from a wealthy family.

He tapped the desk playfully and spoke.

“If Won-woo makes you work too hard, come work for me.

Why does he need a whole team of assistants?”

“Thank you for saying that.”

“You said you’re a pure beta, right?”

“Yes.”

“That’s good.

You’re not affected by pheromones, so you’re stable.”

At that moment, the director came out, putting on his jacket,

and walked past me indifferently.

“Do you think this is your company’s recruiting ground?”

The two left together, disappearing behind the elevator doors.

Compared to how shaken I was yesterday,

today passed almost normally.

Even while going down for lunch with Nara,

my head felt foggy.

“You’re still hungover, right?”

Maybe it was the alcohol.

Or maybe it was strange that everything was continuing as if nothing had happened,

even after my feelings were exposed.

For lunch, we went to a Korean restaurant with warm soup.

I ordered seaweed soup,

and Nara chose spicy beef soup.

I forced down a few bites of rice soaked in broth.

“Did the director say anything to you?”

“No.”

“Then it’s probably just the hangover.”

“Maybe. Do I still look that out of it?”

“Yes. You’re ignoring a beauty like me right in front of you.”

“You’re right. And I’m sorry about this morning.”

Even as she spoke, she pushed side dishes toward me.

I thanked her and continued eating.

As I chewed the rough grains of rice,

I tried to push away my worries.

He didn’t seem bothered, so maybe it’s fine.

As long as I keep my feelings in check,

it will all fade away.

Realizing I was sinking into thoughts again,

I spoke to her deliberately.

“If you have extra work because of me, tell me. I’ll help.”

“There is one thing, but I’ll handle it.

It’s not something you’d be helpful with.”

“What is it?”

“Choosing a birthday gift for the director’s fiancée overseas.

What would satisfy a travel-loving, wealthy third-generation omega woman?”

“…I see.”

I had no idea.

Not a single trait overlapped with mine.

That made it even harder.

And why did it make me feel strange.

It had nothing to do with me.

“Did the director give any instructions?”

“No. He just told me to choose.

Even the message for the card.”

“That’s quite cold.”

“I still like someone like him.”

“A fiancé who doesn’t even choose the gift himself?”

“No. A rich heir whose assistant chooses it for him.”

I laughed after realizing she was joking.

Then suddenly, something clicked in my mind.

“Maybe something related to hormones or pheromones?

Since she’s an omega…”

“I can’t choose that.

Didn’t you ever see the family doctor?”

“Once or twice.”

“She’d have her own doctor managing everything.

People like them are… different.”

“I see.”

“When wealthy families arrange engagements,

they even prioritize alpha and omega pairings first.

It’s a completely different world.”

I smiled in agreement, though it felt bitter.

The restaurant was filled with office workers.

Among them, how many could truly sense or control pheromones.

Alphas and omegas were rare.

Most people were slightly affected.

Excitement from omegas.

Pressure from alphas.

But I was different.

Clean. Completely unaffected.

A beta with near-zero sensitivity.

Ah.

Maybe that’s why.

Why the director wasn’t uncomfortable.

With that thought, everything finally felt clearer.

I took a big spoonful of soup and finished my meal.

Then we grabbed coffee from a nearby café

and rode the elevator back up together.