A Slap for Clarity

I…

‘It wasn’t that she was complaining, but she felt as though her brain had turned to pasture; how could this wretched program expect her to play the role of a sympathetic big sister, enlightening all living beings?!’

[Special Reminder: For every minute you complain, your trial duration will automatically extend by one minute~]

“You… you win!” Zhou Yi forcibly swallowed the protest that had been on the tip of her tongue.

A wise person knew better than to invite immediate trouble; for now, she would endure.

The undeniable truth was that she was trapped within this game, and the inability to even locate an exit button presented a far more significant problem.

Yet, what precisely was this ‘Simp’s Redemption Plan’? And those simping scenarios she had just witnessed—who could discern their authenticity?

The most probable course of action, for the time being, was to swiftly engage with NPCs to trigger the plot, complete the objectives, and strive for a lightning-fast completion.

Once she escaped this wretched game, she would be as free as fish leaping in the vast ocean or birds soaring through the boundless sky!

Then, she vowed, she would report this abominable game until its very collapse! Just wait!

Transforming her surging fury into an impetus for action, she was about to stride purposefully towards Chen Hao.

[Ding dong! OOC behavior detected, Player Sister~ Please remember you are an elegant young lady now; your steps should be as light as a kitten’s!]

“What in the world? ‘A kitten,’ seriously!” Zhou Yi utterly dismissed the system’s prompt. No sooner had she finished her muttered complaint than a sudden shiver ran through her, a subtle current unexpectedly coursing through her limbs. She instantly sprang up, much like a startled Hachikitty.

“Holy hell?! You’re actually serious?!” She rubbed her tingling nape, her eyes wide with disbelief as she glared at the system prompt hovering in the void.

[Oh dear~ Such vulgar language again! Xiao Qi is about to activate the second-level punishment!]

A more potent electric current abruptly surged through her, causing Zhou Yi to violently shudder. She gritted her teeth, stubbornly holding her ground, refusing to fall.

“A scholar can be killed, but never disgraced!” She dragged her numb legs, defiantly pressing forward. ‘I’d rather die than yield! How could I possibly succumb to a mere jolt of electricity? Make me walk like a girl? Absolutely not!’

[Woohoo~ Player Sister is so stubborn! Then… then Xiao Qi can only activate the final punishment~]

“Bring it on… I’m not afraid!”

A ferocious current instantly enveloped her entire body, making Zhou Yi feel as though she had been flung into an electrified pool. “No, are you a Pikachu? Wait, wait, wait… Stop, stop, stop…”

Her protests swiftly devolved into muffled whimpers.

When the current finally ceased, Zhou Yi’s knees buckled, and she collapsed heavily to the ground, propping herself up with numb arms as she gasped for air. Her vision swam with black spots, and in her daze, she almost imagined her great-grandmother waving to her from the clouds.

“I surrender… I surrender…” She raised a white flag, her voice as faint as a wisp of smoke.

[That’s right! Now loading the gentlest persona for you, Sister~ You are now Chen Hao’s most trusted direct senior sister!]

[Memory implantation complete! Hint: Chen Hao is currently preparing a gift for his goddess, Lin Yating, and is facing minor financial difficulties. This is precisely the moment he needs his senior sister’s care~]

“Good… very good…” Zhou Yi narrowed her eyes at the system prompt, forcibly swallowing the surge of resentment in her chest, and tremblingly pushed herself up from the ground.

She had already jotted it down in her mental ledger: ‘A true gentleman does not fail to avenge a wrong.’ The day she cleared this game, she vowed to throw this wretched system into the Delta as a target!

Despite her seething anger, she had no choice but to comply with the system’s demands, adopting an elegant posture and awkwardly mimicking the delicate, small steps of a lady from a television drama as she shuffled forward.

“Chen Hao, you had better be worth all this suffering!” she muttered through gritted teeth.

[Ding dong~ Target detected viewing campus loan pages! The interest rates are dangerously high! Sister, hurry and save him~]

‘What does that have to do with me?’

After finally managing to shuffle her way to Chen Hao, Zhou Yi had already mentally cursed the system back and forth eight hundred times.

Observing the haggard, uneasy boy before her, Zhou Yi sighed inwardly. She struggled to access the “gentle senior sister” memories the system had forcibly implanted in her mind, managing to force out what she hoped was a benevolent smile.

“Chen Hao, did you need me for something?” The sudden emergence of such a soft, sweet female voice from her own throat startled Zhou Yi, sending goosebumps prickling across her entire body.

“Senior sister, I’m sorry… I’ve run into a bit of trouble…” Chen Hao mumbled, his head bowed.

“Online loan?” Zhou Yi, disinclined to beat around the bush, cut straight to the point.

Chen Hao abruptly lifted his head, his eyes widening. “Se-Senior sister… how did you know?”

“Just a guess.” Zhou Yi elegantly took a sip of coffee, forcibly suppressing the impulse to spit out the bitter taste.

“Um… senior sister, could you possibly lend me five thousand to tide me over?” Chen Hao’s voice grew progressively softer. “I’ll pay you back immediately when I get paid from my part-time job next week…”

“Pfft—!” Zhou Yi nearly spat out the mouthful of coffee she had just drunk. She quickly covered her mouth, stifling a few coughs.

Good heavens, this foolish child genuinely had no idea the depths of online loans! If he continued borrowing like this, let alone next week’s salary, even mortgaging both his kidneys wouldn’t suffice!

Just then, an option box suddenly materialized before Zhou Yi’s eyes:

[Ding dong~ Critical plot point detected! Please select a course of action:]

1. Flash confession, making Chen Hao’s heart pound so wildly he forgets about online loans~

2. Patiently advise, and personally guide the target on how to apply for a legitimate loan.

3. Summon an evil god, allowing Cthulhu to reshape Chen Hao’s worldview with its tentacles.

[Countdown of 10 seconds begins now~ If the time limit is exceeded, the system’s default best option 2 will be automatically executed~]

Zhou Yi stared at the three options, each emanating an ominous red glow, before her.

“Are these damn options something a carbon-based lifeform could possibly conceive?!” She felt her sanity crackling at the edges.

The sheer embarrassment of Option 1 was something she couldn’t, and wouldn’t, undertake.

Was Option 2 suggesting the pit wasn’t deep enough, so she should help dig it further?!

As for Option 3… she genuinely feared summoning something unspeakable.

Not a single one of the three options was reliable! This wretched system was clearly trying to make things difficult for her, much like Bully Pangu!

‘Chosen one,’ indeed; she was clearly the chosen scapegoat.

Zhou Yi spread her hands, leaning back against the chair. “I’m not doing it, let whatever happens, happen.”

[Sweetie~ Slacking off will only trigger more thrilling hidden missions~]

“Honestly, lay your hand on your heart and tell me, are these options truly meant for a human to choose? If I don’t slack off, what else can I do?”

[Sweetie~ Players with choice paralysis can click “Shake” in the bottom right corner of the screen to unlock a hidden easter egg~]

“An easter egg now?” She wouldn’t believe it even if it promised an SSS-rank artifact.

In a fit of self-abandonment, Zhou Yi haphazardly poked at the virtual interface.

[Ding! Congratulations on triggering the ‘Physical Salvation, Human Clarity’ Special Plan!]

[System Hint: This plan is a traditional awakening ritual. Player, please gather kindness and strength, and execute the awakening procedure with a resounding slap!]

“Heh, perfect. I’m brimming with unvented anger right now. This Chen Hao, a good scolding won’t make him clear-headed! He just needs a harsh lesson from society.” With a flicker of intent, her arm was already swinging out.

“Slap!” A crisp sound of a palm striking flesh resounded explosively in the quiet cafe.