Chapter 3: It’s uncomfortable

“The event story is getting a good response. Even better than the last one.“

“It would be sad if the response was bad after putting so much effort into it. We were also much more thorough with the translation check than usual.”

Chemical Studio.

A subsidiary development company under Comet, which is usually the first company that comes to mind when you think of game companies in Korea, mainly responsible for mobile games, and also the place where I work.

“You worked hard, Hanbyeol. It’s not easy to check every single typo, is it?”

“I almost lost my eyes. I should buy some eye drops.”

Regardless of the game’s popularity or sales, the scale of Chemical Studio is not that large. The only game it services has just passed its 3rd anniversary, and the time it was separated from the headquarters is even shorter.

The development company in charge of the company’s flagship MMORPG game, which makes so much money that it wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say that they built the entire building instead of just setting up pillars, is large in scale, but our game, although it makes a decent amount of money, is not on that level.

Instead, because it’s a group of people who are serious about games and knowledgeable about subcultures, there are many things we have in common, so the relationship between employees is good.

“Come to think of it, it seems like you’re getting scolded less by the team leader these days?”

“Ahaha…”

…Of course, there are exceptions.

“You’ve been getting nagged a lot since you were an intern, Hanbyeol.”

“I was too clumsy back then. It’s not strange to get yelled at.”

“Hey, who expects an intern to be at the level of an experienced employee? This isn’t some small company.”

A person who always expects perfection. That’s how I think of Team Leader Cha Hyewon.

That’s why I, who am not perfect, have always been scolded by her.

“Still, it’s just public criticism. I accepted it as meaning not to make mistakes in the future.”

“Wow…you’re a saint. If I were scolded like that, I would have quit a long time ago.“

But I still have no regrets about that. The team leader wasn’t the type of boss who would bring up every little mistake, even if it didn’t exist, just to nag.

The team leader’s reprimands were very systematic and her intentions were clear, so that the person being scolded would understand their mistakes to the bone. A person who tells you exactly why you’re being scolded, what to fix and what to improve, like a machine, that’s Cha Hyewon as a superior.

“You’ve already been scolded a few times. You’ll be scolded in the future too. Just yesterday…”

‘….Hey, why are you bringing up painful memories?’

I’m not the only one being scolded. Is there anyone in our department who hasn’t been scolded by the team leader? Rather, the people who have worked for a long time have probably been scolded more.

So it’s something I can accept. If it’s fair and just criticism, completely devoid of personal feelings, and only meant for improvement.

“Anyway, it’s okay to be scolded publicly. She’s not someone who bullies others with emotions.“

“Emotions…Does that robot-like human even feel emotions? How can a person not laugh or get angry? Did she forget how to laugh?”

That said…

“Did I seem that robotic?”

“Yes! I thought the day I would see that human laugh would co-muheheeeeek!!??”

I missed the timing to speak.

“T-Team Leader!? H-How long have you been…”

“‘Come to think of it, it seems like you’re getting scolded less by the team leader these days.’ I’ve been here since that part.”

I thought, looking at the pale face of my senior, who looked like he had been bleached white. What a pitiful person.

..Hahaha..That, that is. Th. “

I have no objection to criticism of superiors if the reasons are valid, but I don’t understand why people who should be off work are wasting time in the lounge.”

As always, the team leader’s cold, machine-like eyes pierced through my senior, who was trembling like a poplar tree.

“If you can’t bear to leave the company because of your love for the company, there’s a good method called overtime―!!”

“I-I’m sorry! I’ll be going now!!”

As soon as the two letters, like kryptonite to an office worker, hit his ears, my senior ran out of the lounge in panic…..

“….Huh?“

He left me behind.

“Seo Hanbyeol.”

”…Yes..?”

You crazy person, how can you run away alone when your direct supervisor is right in front of you?

Aren’t you going home? If you have time…

“No, I was just about to leave when Jooim Park caught me..”

So I sold out my senior. I need to get home safely, after all.

“…I see.”

Fortunately, our team leader is not the type of superior optimized for small businesses who interferes with time outside of work, even after work hours.

Lunch time is unavoidable as a superior and subordinate, but dinner is not, unless you work overtime.

“Then, I’ll be going now, Team Leader.”

“Yes, see you tomorrow.”

We used to have dinner together often. Back when my relationship with the team leader was, at least on the surface, something like a lover.

Back then, I was the one who suggested we have dinner together. Not as a superior and subordinate, but as human Cha Hyewon and human Seo Hanbyeol.

But that relationship is broken, and there’s no reason for us to have dinner together. We’re not lovers anymore.

If she tries to take away my dinner time by using her position….well, what can I do? I have to follow.

But work and private life must be strictly separated. That’s the principle that person holds. Team Leader Cha Hyewon.

That’s why, even if she felt like having dinner together, the team leader wouldn’t try to force it by using her authority as a superior.

“See you tomorrow!”

Well, she’s not the type of person to have such a feeling in the first place.

Frost forms.

On the window reflecting the black night sky, a faint mist spreads like mold.

It’s not the weather for frost yet, no matter how chilly it’s gotten, winter hasn’t come yet.

The small, hazy frost covers the face reflected in the window.

It wasn’t winter that left that frost.

If it wasn’t winter, who left such a hazy mark on the window?

It must be someone’s breath.

Someone’s breath must have stuck to the window, leaving a suspicious, out-of-season mark.

What was contained in that breath?

A child’s play, or an adult’s sigh?

An inorganic gaze turns to the gradually fading frost.

The owner of the gaze and the person who exhaled the breath knows the meaning of the frost.

It is hesitation.

An indecisive emotion that she thought she would never have.

Unfamiliar.

To the one who exhaled, the unfamiliar emotion of hesitation is annoying and stinging, like a thorn stuck under a fingernail.

A feeling like her neck is slowly being tightened.

That uncomfortable and painful thorn pricks her heart.

Her arm reaches out.

Her finger touches the window, the frost that hasn’t completely disappeared yet.

The finger that dotted the hazy frost begins to draw something like a brush.

But the finger wanders, unable to find its way.

Without the certainty of drawing something specific, it just stirs the shrinking canvas like a child’s scribble.

Eventually, the frost disappeared.

The finger that tried to draw something stopped and didn’t move for a while.

Before hesitation became frost again and settled on the window.

The face that exhaled was no longer reflected in the window.

…Yes, 39..34, we received a text message.

I’ve been told since I was young that I’m an old soul.

Not only by my friends, but also by my parents, and even adults like teachers.

Your taste is old-fashioned. You talk like a grandfather.

Why weren’t you born 30 years earlier? I bet you have a radio and cassette tapes at home.

I thought, thought, and thought again before sending this story.

It seemed too private and embarrassing to share with others.

Actually, it’s a bit difficult to deny it easily.

I know best that my taste is, to put it nicely, antique, and to put it badly, outdated.

But then again, aren’t love stories always like that? Private and embarrassing.

Where in the world would you find a 20-year-old who listens to radio broadcasts these days, let alone sends in stories?

So, I mustered the courage to leave this story. To Ji Sunwoo’s Music Box, the only reason I still haven’t deleted the radio app from my phone….

Here, right here

How did I become a grandfather who suits red ginseng candy so well?

…No, is it a grandmother now?

…When the lover I had been dating for over two years suddenly said let’s break up.

Still, if this old-fashioned taste has any merit.

When that lover happens to be a coworker that I can’t avoid even if I want to.

To someone who doesn’t know my name or face, I can openly confide.

And when the person who dumped me when I was a man is gradually approaching me after I became a woman.

I don’t expect a clear answer.

No matter how much someone usually reads all kinds of stories, people are still people, not Doraemon.

What should I do?

But it’s okay.

Just that someone can listen to my worries is enough for me.

Um….turned from a man to a woman…there’s such a disease..

I…

First of all, I think it would be better to go to the hospital and get a more detailed examination. Even to go back to the way you were.

…Damn it.