The Accidental Hero’s Predicament

My name is Lu Ren.

I am a worthless assassin who couldn’t even afford rent in Newbie Village. After my unremitting efforts, I finally, on a dark and stormy night, accidentally killed the Hero! I had absolutely no idea I would slay such a magnificent figure!

Well, it’s a bit embarrassing to admit, but from childhood until now, this was my first kill… despite being an assassin.

I paced my courtyard, a worried frown etched on my face, gazing at the Hero’s beautiful and serene post-mortem appearance. My eyes welled up with tears.

How could I possibly understand why the Hero’s body had reappeared! Does this mean all that effort I spent burying “a dead pig” was for nothing? (Yes, that’s exactly what happened…)

I’m utterly despairing… Why is my life so tragic! I recalled what the Village Chief had told me yesterday afternoon—[There’s no regret medicine in this life.] (He did not say that!)

Indeed, no regret medicine! If only I had known yesterday that the basket actually contained a wild boar, I would have accepted that deal!

Two hundred gold! That’s two months’ rent! Although I still owe my landlord ten years of rent, it’s still a considerable sum!

It’s all the Hero’s fault! You’ve dumped a huge mess on me! Why should I, having earned no money, be saddled with the crime of murdering a hero of the people? I’m utterly exasperated!

Right now, I truly want to kick the Hero in the face…

Staring at the Hero’s exquisite face, however, I froze. That face seemed to be glowing… Such a beautiful, endearing woman; I simply couldn’t bring myself to do it. I was even starting to hallucinate… A glowing face? Impossible.

I retracted my foot, found a stool, and sat down to think things through.

Burying the Hero, now that I considered it, wasn’t a wise move. One might escape the first day, but not the second—no, not the fifteenth. The Demon King revives, the Hero answers the call, but then mysteriously vanishes! This would be a huge problem. What if, someday, the Royal Capital investigates the Hero’s disappearance in Newbie Village, then sends people to excavate the entire pauper’s graveyard in a wide search, and finally uncovers the Hero’s body… Then everyone in the village would be guilty! It might lead to a massacre, or perhaps the villagers being rounded up to become soldiers, slaves, or RBQ… Ugh, what’s an RBQ? Why do I keep saying words I don’t understand?

In any case… it’s going to be extremely troublesome…

“Hero, my lady! You are so brave, so kind; surely you wouldn’t want the people of Newbie Village to be dragged into conflict because of you, would you?”

Her beautiful face still shone brightly in my eyes.

“Hmm! If you don’t object, that means you agree! So I’ve decided: I’ll cremate you right here! No body, no evidence! Then I’ll sell your equipment, benefiting both the villagers and myself! As the Driver said yesterday—[Sacrifice the few to benefit the many!] (He did not say that!)”

With that thought, I gently lifted the Hero’s seemingly delicate body, intending to sneak to the Blacksmith’s forge and offer this beautiful young lady the most fitting of funerals!

Perhaps the Hero had heard the most sincere words in my heart! Her entire body began to glow! While this might still be a hallucination, I was still gratefully thanking the Hero for her response.

The Blacksmith Uncle’s house wasn’t far from mine, just outside my door. It was the house with the giant hammer symbol, surrounded by a low wall, and its gate was still tightly shut.

Since it was early morning, the Blacksmith was asleep. Breaking into someone’s home openly wasn’t something a pure-hearted person should do, so I pondered for a moment at the gate. I decided to toss the glowing Hero over his wall first, then climb over myself. That way, it wouldn’t be openly trespassing, but rather stealthily trespassing!

“My apologies, Hero!” I walked to the forge and gently set down the glowing Hero.

Having worked here before, I knew how to operate this massive machine.

Step one: open the furnace gate. Step two: stuff wood inside. Step three: light the fire.

I completed these complex steps in less than a minute. Now, only the final step remained: sending the young lady on her way!

I solemnly lifted the Hero, much like a disgraced prince holding his princess. The prince, filled with deep affection, faced the raging inferno. For his country, for his people, he could only abandon his most cherished lover!

Farewell, young lady.

And then, curtain call… Just kidding!

Just as I thought everything would end, the Hero radiated an incomparably dazzling light!

What’s happening? Was the light from the Hero’s body not my hallucination? Why is it so real! I’m practically being blinded, ahhhhh!

Terrified, I tossed the Heroine onto the ground and vigorously rubbed my eyes.

“Mortal! What are you trying to do!”

A tiny voice entered my ears. Who? And a girl!

I opened my eyes wide, but due to the previous intense light, I was temporarily blind.

“How dare you touch the Hero’s body!”

Could it be that this person knows I killed the Hero? No, I must argue my case!

“I didn’t mean to kill her!”

“Huh? Kill? Her?”

Her bewildered tone suggested she was only just finding out.

“What, what! Hero, my lady! Don’t scare me!”

Amidst my confusion, my vision slowly returned, though still blurry. I could only make out a small, glowing orb circling the Hero.

“Ahhh! She’s really dead! Although her body is intact under the protection of holy light, her soul has shattered!”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to!” I immediately conceded.

“You! How did you kill the Hero!”

“I accidentally used a poisoned knife to prepare food, which the Hero ate! Then she succumbed to the poison!”

“What, ahhhhhh!”

The desperate cry sounded as if she had lost her entire world!

“Mortal! Raise your head!”

“Oh!” I immediately looked up, my vision now fully restored.

I could clearly see a fairy-like being, about the size of an apple! She looked almost exactly like the Hero! And she was glowing!

“You’re quite something!” Key flew up and slapped me squarely on the bridge of my nose. “Do you know what a huge disaster you’ve caused! The Demon King has just revived, and the Hero is already dead—what kind of joke is this!”

“Ah… may I ask who you are…”

“I am Key, the Divine Emissary sent by the great God Sein to summon and protect the Hero!”

Watching her arrogant demeanor, I was stunned for a moment, then…

“Pfft hahahahaha, what the heck, ‘Shit of God’?” I clutched my stomach, laughing loudly. “Did God Sein poop you out, ya hahahaha!”

“Be serious!” Key’s face flushed crimson. “Now that the Hero is dead, you must take full responsibility!”

Full responsibility? Wait, I’m thinking of something bad…

“Does that mean the kind of full responsibility where you accidentally sleep with a girl, then accidentally roll in the sheets all night, and then accidentally get her pregnant?”

Key hit the bridge of my nose hard again! “What are you talking about! If things developed like that, would you marry the Hero?”

“Huh? You want me to marry a dead person? That’s not right. While some necrophiliacs might enjoy that kind of play, I’m still a normal boy!”

“I’m not asking you to marry a dead person! I’m just saying you have to pay the price for killing the Hero!”

“Ah… Don’t tell me, you want me to become the Hero?”

“Ahhh! Your comprehension skills are truly something! I wouldn’t choose an ordinary mortal with mediocre qualifications… Wait a minute…”

“Hmm?”

Key stared at my back for a moment.

“Why are you looking at my back? There’s nothing there.”

“Clever boy, though your physical body is mundane, your soul is extraordinary! How incredibly lucky!” Key excitedly circled above my head, almost making me dizzy!

“Are you from another world? Only such people possess a soul so suitable for becoming a Hero!”

“Huh? Really? Another world? What’s that? I only remember being found by the Village Chief ten years ago, and nothing before that…”

“You lost your memory when you arrived here, you idiot!” Key slapped the bridge of my nose again.

“Oh…”

“Although you could replace the Hero, it’s too late to cultivate your physique now…” Key shook her head. “So, there’s only one way to salvage this situation.”

“Ah? Wait, you really want me to be the Hero?”

“Of course, it’s the best plan now!” Key finished, drawing a sizable magic circle centered on the Heroine. “Hero’s replacement! Quickly step into this magic circle!”

“Huh? Step in? What for?” Without much thought, I stepped inside.

“I intend to merge you with this Hero’s body.”

Before I could fully process it, I heard Key chanting a spell!

[Oh, great God Sein, the old Hero’s soul has dimmed, but the new Hero’s soul shines brightly. For the sake of the world, for the sake of vanquishing the evil Demon King, please merge their bodies into one! Holy Light be with them!]

Ah, what?

Then my eyes went dark… In the ethereal darkness, I felt my body and soul disintegrate into fragments, then intertwine with another set of fragments…

When I awoke…

“Lady Hero!” The simultaneous shouts startled me. I scrambled up, only to find myself lying on a bed placed in the middle of the street. All the villagers of Newbie Village were kneeling in a circle around me!

What’s going on? Have I really become the Hero?