She Was Never Chosen… Only Selected

“Did the Shen family break their promise to you?”

“No, not really… Actually, they kept it. The children at the orphanage did live better lives.”

“Mm. Go on.”

So the Shen family hadn’t broken their surface promise to Yi Yi.

There was no reason for them to.

Yi Yi had already met—even far exceeded—their standards. To throw away the fruit of their investment over such a small sum would be foolish.

A shrewd businessman wouldn’t make a losing deal. When it came to profit and loss, the Shen family should have understood that better than anyone.

That meant they’d betrayed Yi Yi on another level. For example…

“To the Shen family, fulfilling that promise was simple. That orphanage was built with their investment.”

Just as I thought.

If it was a selection process from the start, rather than an adoption, picking the best seedling from their own facility was far more reliable than adopting from an unknown orphanage.

And it made information control easy.

“From the beginning, Yi Yi, the orphanage you were in was a ‘selection facility.’ Am I right?”

“Yes. I should have noticed earlier. There were no boys in our orphanage. Only girls.”

“And there are more than one of these orphanages.”

“Yes. I later found out that the Shen family invested in three or four such orphanages across the country. They only took in girls. We were all ‘Shen family daughter’ candidates.”

Now I understood.

“When did you find out?”

“After I returned home… One night, I couldn’t sleep due to jet lag. I got up for water and heard their conversation in the living room.”

Yi Yi repeated the conversation to me.

…

—Three years ahead of schedule. This one is our greatest masterpiece.

—Indeed. Not only beautiful, but brilliant too.

—Then she’s the one.

—Mm.

—What about the backups? This batch has some good ones too…

—One is enough. The rest are useless. Dispose of them.

—What a shame. That one named ‘Oushui’ was quite good too.

—Same year, different fate. The ‘slot’ for Shen family daughter is full.

—Understood. I’ll handle the rest.

…

Hearing that conversation was probably why Yi Yi felt betrayed by the Shen family.

After telling me this, Yi Yi pressed her forehead against me and remained silent for a long time.

Her hands, holding mine, trembled. From anger or fear… or both.

“I don’t dare to imagine what they meant by ‘dispose’…”

“Yi Yi…”

“But I know. I really do know. There was a small discomfort, a vague awareness that they weren’t training just me… There were several ‘Shen family daughters’ like me.”

The situation was easy to understand.

The Shen family couldn’t have raised only one daughter like Yi Yi, bred for trade.

Putting all their investment into one basket was impossible—even an amateur like me knew that.

Meaning, it was a competition among candidates who didn’t know about each other.

Only the best would receive the title “Shen family daughter.”

“But I deliberately ignored it… I didn’t look deeper, because I was too afraid of the truth.”

I tightened my grip on Yi Yi’s hand and my other arm around her waist, hoping the physical closeness would give her emotional support.

“But when I heard Oushui’s name, I broke down…”

“Oushui… Is that the girl from the orphanage, the one like a sister to you?”

“Yes. She was chosen after me. She was raised as a Shen family daughter too. And she wasn’t any less outstanding than me.”

“But only one could be ‘sold’—become the ‘product.’ Only the best would be named ‘Shen family daughter.'”

That was Yi Yi. Shen Kaori.

The rest, the rejects, would be “disposed of.”

What that meant was unknown, but for them, it was certainly bad.

Only the Shen family would benefit.

“I was just a little earlier. Just a little ahead of her.”

“Did you protest?”

“Yes. I confronted them directly. I said I didn’t want the title of Shen family daughter. I wanted her to have it. But I had no say. How could a product resist its fate of being sold?”

Was this why Yi Yi’s hair turned white?

No. That alone wasn’t enough.

Something else must have happened. Something that truly broke her heart.

“But I still tried to resist. Even if it was just that child… I didn’t want her to suffer. I investigated all the Shen family’s orphanages. I found the selection list. I followed the clues and finally found her.”

Really? She found her?

Just like Yi Yi. Incredible drive.

But maybe not finding her would have been better.

“When I found her, before I could say anything, she slapped me. She said…”

…

—Are you here to rub it in?

—You finally got what you wanted, didn’t you?

—And I thought of you as a sister. This is how you treat me?!

—Get out!

—Just get out!

—Go back and enjoy being Miss Shen!

…

She was cursed by someone she valued most.

That would be devastating.

An unbearable pain, trapped inside.

“I should have run after her. I should have explained. But when she looked at me with such hatred, I couldn’t move… I couldn’t even speak.”

The contrast was too stark. Yi Yi remembered her as an obedient, clingy little sister. But that sister had completely rejected her.

Being hated by someone you care about most is the most painful thing.

But maybe she didn’t slap Yi Yi out of jealousy or hatred…

This is just my guess. I don’t know Oushui. I don’t know her personality or what she thought of Yi Yi.

But if Oushui truly understood Yi Yi and admired her like an older sister…

Maybe she said those things for Yi Yi’s own good.

Regardless of the reason, it was too much for Yi Yi.

“This isn’t the result I wanted.”

“I thought if I worked hard enough, if I met their goals, everyone at the orphanage could be happy.”

“But in reality, all my efforts just pushed Oushui and the others closer to a cliff.”

“I was the one who pushed them.”

“It’s ridiculous, isn’t it?”

“Everything I did was just selfish effort… I didn’t accomplish anything. I couldn’t do anything.”

Good intentions leading to harm.

Efforts made with hope, only to push others into despair.

The guilt would be overwhelming.

Even more so for Yi Yi.

Because she was the one smiling as she pushed the person she saw as a little sister off a cliff.

It denied everything she’d worked for her whole life.

Completely and utterly denied.

And she lost her place of belonging.

No wonder she said she had no home to return to.

“After that, I locked myself in my room and cried for a long time. When they finally forced me out, my hair had turned completely white.”

Extreme sadness and guilt. Helplessness to change the situation. Disappointment that all her efforts were in vain. The despair of having inadvertently harmed someone she saw as a sister. Together, they caused severe emotional trauma.

This was the true reason for Yi Yi’s white hair.

“I’m sorry, Darling. It wasn’t an interesting story.”

Yi Yi didn’t cry after telling me all this. Maybe she’d already cried herself dry.

Only a bitter smile remained.

Seeing her like this, my heart ached.

I patted her head. Kissed her hair.

“Yi Yi, if you want, I can…”

She suddenly lifted her head and pressed her lips against mine to stop the words.

After a long moment, we parted.

“Enough. Darling, that’s enough. I have nothing to do with the Shen family anymore.”

“…Are you sure?”

“After my hair turned white, I was lost. I felt like nothing mattered. But then I met you.”

“I changed your mind?”

“Yes. I was saved because you confessed to me, a stranger. Darling, you like my appearance, don’t you?”

“Uh, at first, yes…”

“Even if it’s just this white hair you like, or my looks. What you want is ‘me’—not any attached condition. Isn’t that right?”

“Yes. I only want you.”

“That’s enough, Darling. You even helped me because of that. When Mr. Idiot asked me what I truly wanted, I suddenly understood. I didn’t want something. I wanted to be wanted.”

“Meaning, you want to depend on someone?”

“Depend… Yes, I suppose that’s it.”

Yi Yi affirmed her own thought. She pressed my hand to her chest and pressed her forehead to mine.

“Yes, I want to depend on someone.”

So my accidental confession happened to fill the void in her heart.

From another perspective, you could say I took advantage of a vulnerable moment.

If Yi Yi hadn’t gone through all that, I would never have had a chance to enter her heart.

But then again, she met me when she was at her most helpless.

“Becoming your girlfriend gives me a new place to belong.”

“I’m honored to be your belonging.”

That’s how Yi Yi and I came to be.