The Happiest Moment

For those who are part of the corporate grind or students, when is the happiest time?

Vacation?

Not quite. All the gifts that fate bestows upon us are secretly priced. Vacations are no exception.

In a fiercely competitive society, true freedom from work or study is rare unless one achieves financial independence. Even legal holidays come with their own set of worries about accumulated responsibilities and the crowds at tourist spots.

The truest happiness comes on a Monday morning when you wake up and realize you don’t have to go to work or school. This unexpected joy can break the monotony of life, offering a brief escape from the daily grind and reminding you of your individual existence beyond being a cog in the system.

Life isn’t about chasing happiness, but rather avoiding pain. When you can’t defeat life itself, these brief moments of escape from reality’s pain are what constitute true happiness.

However, everyone defines happiness differently. Some might prefer routine. For example, while top students might worry about falling behind if they miss class, I find it blissful. Thinking about my classmates struggling to stay awake in class while I slept in, leisurely enjoyed a slow breakfast, and pampered myself, I felt like I was living a decadent life.

“…”

Standing before a row of skincare products, I fell into deep thought.

“Ling Chen, why do I have to go through all this trouble?”

“Essential oils, lotions, toners, serums, eye creams, moisturizers—sister, these are essential lessons for any girl.”

As someone who prefers efficiency, I found the time spent on these products bothersome. Even though Ling Chen agreed that I have natural beauty and don’t need makeup, he insisted on skincare.

I don’t understand these products, so I follow Ling Chen’s instructions.

The complex process of skincare made me appreciate how difficult it is for women to maintain their appearance, something I never understood as a rough-and-tumble guy before.

You don’t realize the pain until you feel it yourself. As a girl, I now understand the struggles women face, which has slightly altered my male perspective. For the first time, I realized how much of a male cliché “drink more hot water” really is.

Women’s lives are not easy, and they need genuine care. While hot water can help with colds, it’s not a cure-all, making “drink more hot water” seem dismissive.

So, to express my unique care, I decided to change my standard response to:

“Drink more lava.”

When I shared this idea with Ling Chen, he commented:

“I think I understand why you can only be a fanboy. You’re not straight; you’re a lunatic.”

I confidently replied, “Do you know my goddess better than I do? What if she finds me humorous and charming?”

“An ice queen isn’t the same as a deep-well ice queen. Don’t project your twisted personality onto others.”

Under Ling Chen’s guidance, I learned how to use skincare products. While cleaning my face felt refreshing and patting on the serum made my skin feel smooth, I couldn’t help but complain:

“Turning me into a beautiful girl without offering after-sales service, making me deal with maintenance on my own, is poor customer service. Isn’t the customer supposed to be king?”

“That’s an interesting thought. If the customer is king, then you, as the king’s subject, can’t be greater than the king.”

Ling Chen didn’t dismiss my ideas but instead engaged in a serious discussion with me.

I analyzed, “From any perspective, that’s not possible. And semantically, I think this phrase is borrowed. What was the original?”

“The customer is always right. The idea that the customer is king originated in Japan from Shintoism, a polytheistic religion where their gods and the Christian God are not the same concept. ‘The customer is king’ is just a marketing strategy and doesn’t need to be taken literally.”

“Shintoism…”

I wondered, “If God exists, do different cultures have their own gods?”

“Of course.”

“Then why was I chosen by God? Shouldn’t we have our own local gods?”

Ling Chen carefully combed my messy hair while explaining, “This is a complex story, but simply put, it’s because of the way our destinies intersected. You’re not religious, and you lack respect and interest in local religions. But you have a strange fascination with the Eastern Roman Empire.”

“Greek Orthodoxy is the true faith, right? Although you often joke about Christianity, your inner turmoil has led you to respect religion to some degree. Plus, you have a Bible, so you’re connected to Christianity.”

God didn’t care if I was a devout believer; He just granted my wish and made me an apostle. That’s quite casual!

I rolled my eyes, “I regret not being connected to the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Then I could be a pastor marrying otaku and paper people.”

“Not really. Don’t you think God is better to you than the Flying Spaghetti God?”

“Yes, my little angel brother Ling Chen, I love you so much. Thank God for turning me into a woman so I could have a perfect brother.”

“Even if you’re teasing me, I’ll take that as a compliment.”

Ling Chen always seems calm, and I wonder if there’s anything that could make him angry. Is he perfect? If girls see him, they’ll surely fall for him.

While waiting for the serum to absorb, I picked up a bottle and checked its price, feeling a pang of pain. Can I really support myself with this expense?

I looked back at Ling Chen and asked, “Ling Chen, can you support me?”

I tried it, and the 45-degree angle in the new room is inhumane.

If you turn your head backward to form a 45-degree angle with your spine, it might break your neck.

Ling Chen rubbed my face seriously, “If you want to be useless, I can connect you with an uncle.”

Uncle? What’s this strange plot twist?

I suddenly remembered a manga where a salaryman falls for his daughter’s friend. Hmmm…

Does this era pair beautiful girls with uncles by default?

“Do you really want to see your sister fall into the wolf’s den?”

“Don’t worry, I’ll record it.”

“That’s even worse! I don’t remember having that kind of fetish!”

“If you want to be useless, you need wisdom. You should be able to pull off a gold-digging scheme. A beautiful girl like you should easily attract those unrestrained uncles.”

“Oh… wait, why do I have to sacrifice my looks? And isn’t this illegal?”

“Is being useless easy? You’re such a shut-in that even becoming a social parasite is hard. And as a girl, your options are limited.”

“Can’t we find a different target? Like a rich loli?”

“Sure.” Ling Chen agreed readily, “I’ll prepare some rope for you.”

“Rope?”

“Or I can open a window for you; the effect is the same.”

“Being supported by a rich loli is that dangerous?”

Ling Chen’s handsome face showed a gentle yet slightly mischievous smile, with a shallow dimple appearing as he chuckled.

“My dear Sister, those rich lolis who act like angels won’t appear in the real world. I suggest you quickly move to the beautiful world of the second dimension.”

“…”

This kid, talking nonsense so seriously.