Is There Something Wrong with the Apostle Being a Vtuber Fan?

Though it might seem abrupt, perhaps a brief introduction to VTubers—or virtual streamers, as they’re known—is in order.

VTubers, or VTube for short, are entertainers who use original virtual characters and avatars as their representatives, engaging in various activities on video platforms and social media. Their appearances often take the form of Japanese anime-style 3D or 2D models, controlled by motion capture technology and voiced by real voice actors. But to hell with such cold, clinical definitions.

VTubers are angels.

They are idols.

They are gods.

They are the sum of all beautiful things in the world.

Of course, that’s assuming their public relations skills are up to par. If they’re pulling that ‘upper kingdom’ trick of backstabbing their own colleagues, then they’re just evil and foolish.

Hmph? What’s that? Male VTubers? Aside from occasionally watching some gag reels or otokonoko content, who actually watches male VTubers?

Ah, except for Shachiku.

Ah, except for Kanae.

Ah, except for Maimoto.

Ah, except for Kuzuha.

Ah, except for Kaida.

Ah, except for Ma-san.

Ah, except for Touya.

Ah, except for Hammer.

Ah, except for Mayuzumi.

Ah… alright, I admit it. I do follow a few male VTubers. Just a few, though.

…………

………………Alright, alright, alright, I, Corvus, confess that more than half of my following list consists of male VTubers, happy now?! Are you satisfied?! But don’t misunderstand, alright? I’m not interested in men; I just enjoy watching those smelly guys mess around! Really!

The live streams I actually actively follow are all female VTubers!

Like right now—

“Ah, Usada Kensetsu’s hellish work, heh…”

“Ah, Aqua’s tower demolition, quite a laugh.”

“Ah, Sister Cleaire’s singing stream, wonderful…”

“Ah, Suisei’s Ghouls ‘n Ghosts, she’s amazing.”

“Ah, Takamiya’s Ring Fit Adventure, so cute…”

“Ah, Choco-sensei’s ASMR, mmm, nice.”

“Ah, TMT’s yuri fan service, heh, heh, heh…”

“Ah, Kiryu Coco being cancelled again, hahahahahahaha!”

Utilizing my admin privileges, live stream windows were scattered across every monitor like stars. The 9G technology was truly impressive; I could watch dozens of streams simultaneously at native resolution without any lag whatsoever.

Thus, I entered my phase of grinning foolishly at the monitors.

So cute, so cute, so incredibly cute. Honestly, I hadn’t even kept track of how many I’d become a fan of, but the fundamental and sole quality of a VTuber viewer is to ‘love everyone.’ So as long as I kept adding new favorites, my path as a ‘single fan’ would continue forever.

Unless—

“Ko~~~~s~~~~? What are you doing here during work hours?”

“Eek!”

A pair of iron-clamp-like hands seized my shoulders. This wasn’t an exaggeration; they were quite literally prosthetics shaped like iron clamps.

Looking up, a charismatic, middle-aged gay man with a half-smile glared down at me, exuding an oppressive aura.

It was Johnny Silverhand, the owner of the Silverhand Spin-Spin Internet Cafe!

“Ah, boss, uh, I was just…”

“Slacking off at work to watch VTubers?”

“Not exactly… I was just… investigating the VTuber ecosystem of Starry Night City. Perhaps our internet cafe could get involved in related business in the future?”

“That’s true, we do have a full set of motion capture equipment here, though almost no one uses it.”

“See? How about we bring in some independent VTubers, provide them with equipment and a workspace, and then split the revenue 70/30?”

“That’s a great idea, but what does that have to do with me planning to deduct your bonus for this month?”

“Our internet cafe gives out bonuses?”

“No.”

“Then how can you deduct something that doesn’t exist—”

“From singing to dancing, from MOBAs to 2K, from cooking to drawing, from pure to vulgar—she masters all, encompasses all! Everyone’s angel—Bailian Chomi-chan has arrived as scheduled!!!!”

“”Chomi-chan?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?””

Hearing the heavenly voice emanating from the computer speakers, the boss and I instantly ceased our argument, simultaneously turning our gaze to a corner of the screen. Even customers passing by the counter gathered around.

“Bringing you surprises in this cyclical world, offering healing amidst your busy work! Today’s stream has begun on time!”

“”””Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh!!!!!””””

I forgot about work, the boss forgot to collect money, and the customers forgot to log in. We all huddled around the display, watching one of the live streams. Someone even pulled out a light stick.

She was a very, very, very, very, very, very, very cute paper doll.

She wore bright pink twin pigtails and a light, airy dress that was a cross between a maid’s uniform and an idol’s costume. Her iridescent eyes sparkled, and her refined features clearly showed the artist’s dedication in designing the character. Every gesture, every subtle expression, was perfectly captured, demonstrating the extremely high quality of the Live2D model.

“Today’s schedule includes a medley of classic anime songs, an MHR trial analysis, and a Coco** chat! Everyone, are you ready~~?”

“”””””””We’re ready!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!””””””””

We erupted in deafening cheers. Amidst the audience’s support, she parted her crimson lips and began to sing the classic old song, ‘Do You Remember Love?’ Ahhh, ahhh, ahhh—she truly is—she truly is—she truly is—

She truly is the hottest VTuber of today—Bailian Chomi!

She debuted as an independent virtual streamer in mid-last year, active for less than two and a half years, yet her popularity has already completely surpassed that of many established seniors! Multitalented and proficient in everything, she possesses an incredibly powerful ability to set the mood, maintaining consistently high popularity on streaming platforms! The download count for her numerous original singles has even outstripped popular girl groups. She has produced many high-quality strategy videos, including those for Black Ops, Black Flag, and Dark Souls. She has collaborated multiple times with renowned esports clubs like Naaavi, SSKT, LGDD, and RNNG, and has deep partnerships with countless popular Vocaloid producers. She is nothing short of a miraculous super genius!

We were intoxicated by Chomi-chan’s singing, forgetting the passage of time…

…

…

…

…

“…………And now, my new single, ‘Me in the Living World and You in the Underworld,’ released last week! Please listen—”

Ahhh, I haven’t heard this one yet! What a blunder. I must copy the lyrics into my hippocampus! As long as it’s a song by Chomi-chan, I will—

Ding-dong-dang-dong—dong-dong-ding-dong—

Just then, my phone rang with the discordant sound of my alarm.

Work hours were over.

“Aha, boss, time’s up, I’m off work!”

I didn’t spare Chomi another glance. I turned off the monitor, grabbed my bag, and walked out.

“Hey, hey—Chomi’s stream just started less than an hour ago…”

The boss seemed to be shouting something at me, but I couldn’t be bothered to turn my head, casually replying—

“Doesn’t matter. What’s some smelly woman compared to getting off work on time?”

“””””””””””…………”””””””””””

Surely no one actually thinks I’d postpone getting off work just to watch a VTuber, right? No way, right?

…When I said those words, I had no idea that I would, in the near future, become entangled with Bailian Chomi in such a way.

More precisely, we had already been entangled three years prior.