Out of the Spire

Kallios was reluctant, but since it was my business, I received a separate report regarding the letters.

The smallest pile consisted of audience requests from the pro-Emperor nobles. Since they were people concerned about Kallios’s reign—which was only just beginning to stabilize—their goal was obvious. They would likely advise me to become independent. I set an appointment with Marquis Lomond, the leader of the pro-Emperor faction. When I told him to visit whenever he had time, he sent a reply saying, [I shall visit as soon as possible.] Viscount Timothy mentioned that, given the Marquis’s personality, he would likely wait about two weeks. Apparently, he’s the type who won’t run even if it rains—a true aristocrat to the core. Anyway, that’s that for this group.

The next smallest pile was from the northwestern nobles whom Kallios had suppressed under the pretext of the Aphelion conquest. They wanted to speak directly with the new owner about resuming trade with Aphelion—the Grand Duchy of Kaian. They were trying to build connections with me and the Duchy using trade as an excuse. If they harbored treasonous thoughts once, who’s to say they won’t do it again? I put them on hold for now. It seemed better to let them grow a bit more anxious.

The remaining two piles… were from those with a profound interest in my succession to the throne or my future children’s succession. I told them the throne belonged to Kallios and that I wouldn’t be getting married, so they could throw all that away. I intended to send polite replies out of courtesy, but I grew disgusted by the nauseating sight of people pushing seven-year-old daughters toward a man who might die any day. They were people I didn’t even want to associate with.

My chest felt tight, as if I had indigestion. I sent back the meal that I usually forced myself to eat a few spoonfuls of whenever Isaac insisted. Lying on the sofa, I stared blankly up at the two moons I had now become completely accustomed to.

The villainous Emperor in The Dragon’s Empire was an absolute ruler with unrivaled power, unlike the current Kallios.

Why did it change? Because he ascended three years earlier than in the original story?

Because I raised him too gently?

It… could be that. The first thing the villainous Emperor did after taking the throne was to harvest the heads of the nobles who attended his coronation. But our Kallios declared war instead of harvesting heads. Thanks to that, the majority of nobles who should have died in the original survived. All those people are currently dragging Kallios down.

If only he had just killed them all like in the original…

No, that’s not right. I shook my head to clear the stray thoughts. I didn’t want our Kallios to be called a ‘tyrant’ or to become the ‘final Emperor.’ Well, I don’t expect him to become a legendary sage king either. He’s doing his job as Emperor well enough, but he doesn’t seem to have much passion for it. All I want is for him to live healthily as an average Emperor without getting stressed.

I heard approaching footsteps. A savory scent drew closer as well. There was only one person who entered my room without a word, so there was no need to check, but I lifted my head toward the door anyway. It was indeed His Imperial Majesty. My brother, looking like a painting even while carrying a silver tray.

I just shook my head. My weak body was also sensitive; if I forced food down in this mood, I was sure to get sick. It was a food scent smelled after skipping dinner, but instead of stirring my appetite, it only made my stomach churn. I turned over and buried my nose in the back of the sofa.

“Please eat at least a little.”

“I’m not hungry.”

I felt like a child throwing a tantrum because I was upset. It was because he stroked my hair as if soothing a kid. I pressed my forehead against the back cushion. The hand that had been ruffling and tidying my hair came to rest still upon my head. I thought about calling out to him but decided against it. His fingertips brushed the nape of my neck.

“That tickles.”

“Big Brother.”

After tossing and turning a few times, I lay flat on my back. His face was close. I caught a glimpse of his posture. For a man who was the Emperor of the Empire, he knelt quite easily. Though it was only on one knee. I closed my eyes and then opened them at the touch of his hand on my bangs.

“Kallios.”

“Yes.”

I reached out and grabbed his hand. I had called him, but I had nothing to say. No, actually, I had a lot.

You’re suffering so much because of me.

I said it would take a year, but maybe I should hurry a bit more.

As your only brother, even if I can’t help, I shouldn’t be an obstacle in your path…

“Sorry.”

I patted the back of his hand while holding it against my chest.

The person who had changed the most from the original wasn’t him, but me. Kaian Capre Arnevus. I, who should have died long ago, was still alive.

If I had died at the right time, Kallios wouldn’t be this exhausted.

“I’m sorry.”

I looked up at him.

“Do you regret it?”

He lifted the hand I wasn’t holding and gently stroked my eye area. I held only his index finger and pressed my thumb against his smooth fingernail.

“No.”

The pressure of the hard nail against my fingertip felt refreshing. I thought while leaving plenty of nail marks on the tip of my thumb. I don’t regret choosing life.

That was why I felt sorry.

I knew I would be a burden, yet I still wanted to be together. It was right for me to disappear, yet I didn’t want to die. I had known for a very long time that I was a cowardly and selfish human being. But knowing it didn’t make the guilt any less.

He took my reddened thumb and wrapped his hand around it. A faint pain followed belatedly. A sensation as if the nail marks were still dug in even after letting go.

As I wiggled my fingers, he applied steady pressure over the nail marks. I left them as they were and closed my eyes. I’m sleepy, I murmured. Hearing that, he picked me up. I leaned my cheek against his chest and let out a long sigh.

[I would like for Your Highness to have this.]

Attached with a short letter was the royal seal of Aphelion. I toyed with the seal that had returned to my possession before setting it far away. I was grateful for such a precious gift… but I would decline being summoned to another strange place. I didn’t know how long I would be in the palace, and while I luckily fell into a safe spot that time, there was no telling what would happen next. The original Lamierre Weaver crossed the line between life and death frequently. He overcame dangerous situations with what was written as ‘luck’ but read as ‘protagonist buff,’ but it was uncertain if that luck would extend to me.

I fiddled with the corner of the stationery before laying out a fresh sheet. I should at least write a thank-you letter. I hadn’t seen him many times, but perhaps because we had been through a life-and-death(?) situation together, or because we had seen each other at our worst, I had grown fond of him. He was cute when he cried until my shoulder was soaked. That kid.

I stopped writing after the initial greetings. The last time I saw him was at the ruins. I hadn’t seen Lamierre since then. We had exchanged short letters about our current situations, but they were more like reports than letters. They only listed what classes he took, for how long, and what achievements he made.

Before going to the ruins, he used to send letters so thick the envelopes were bulging.

At first, I felt a bit hurt that the talkative kid was acting so businesslike. Then I wondered if it was because he felt sorry for going back alone after calling me there.

And now… I’m worried that he might still be suffering because he had a bad dream.

After a moment’s thought, I picked up the pen I had set down.

I don’t expect myself to be of much help. I realized through several failures. I’m not someone with incredible abilities, nor do I have luck or protagonist buffs. Even if I didn’t have such a weak body, I wouldn’t have been able to do anything great.

However, sometimes, a person finds comfort just in knowing there is someone else who has gone through the same thing.

I held the pen, but no words came to mind. I stared at the paper with barely three lines written for a long time before I started writing whatever came to mind. It was about the things I experienced in the dream.

I didn’t write about the brand on the boy’s cheek or his past, but there was still enough to fill three whole pages. After shaking out my stiff wrist, I skimmed only the last page. After listing what I had experienced, I wrote an explanation of what kind of place that ruin was. And at the end…

Lamierre. It was just a dream. So,

I tore the written letter into small pieces.

So don’t worry too much about it either.

I couldn’t tell him to do something I couldn’t do myself. In the first place, it wasn’t ‘just a dream.’

I threw the thoroughly shredded letter into the trash. I put down the pen and stared at my open palm. Despite being careful, there was black ink on my still-gaunt hand.

I had never touched it with this hand, but the sensation of the brand seemed to linger on my fingertips. I placed my hand on my chest and pressed firmly. I felt a heartbeat that was neither fast nor slow. That boy had definitely existed. Traces of that boy who gave everything to me were inside me.

Perhaps what Lamierre experienced was the same.

I picked up the pen again. The letter I wrote this time was short. I put the letter, which barely filled half the page, into an envelope and sealed it.

Greetings, words of gratitude, and praise for his hard work in his studies.

And.

When will you have some time? I would like for you to come this time.

After the last part written like a joke, I thought about adding one more sentence but stopped.

I miss you.

Because there was no one left to hear those words now.

Lamierre’s reply came ten days later. After the study report that had now become routine, the short words written at the end were a polite refusal.

[I am sorry. I don’t think I’ll be able to find time for a while.]

The reply was suspicious, but I wasn’t about to pester someone who said no. Since Lamierre had acted so friendly from the first time we met, I thought we were close enough to worry about and look after each other… I guess Lamierre just had a bright and social personality.

I felt I should invite him one more time, so I sent a reply saying he could visit whenever he had time. I also added a postscript saying that if he was too late, I might not be here, which was honestly a bit petty.

The people I had met and formed bonds with under the name of Kaian in this world could be counted on ten fingers. It meant those positions were very precious. Furthermore, I was currently something like his guardian. It was thanks to my guarantee of his status that a young, poor viscount without connections could enter the Imperial Academy, and as a ‘Special Trainee’ at that.

Is that all? I responded to his summons and traveled a long distance I hadn’t planned on. It took over two weeks from the northeast to the Imperial Fortress. It was because I traveled in a carriage and took frequent rests since I didn’t have the stamina to ride a horse. Anyway, I flew to such a distant place, and he’s saying he doesn’t want to travel a distance that takes less than a few hours because it’s hard to find time?

I watched Isaac as he left with the letter sealed with my signet and tilted my head to the side.

“Wait.”

Isaac stopped before leaving and looked at me.

“Is there a need for me to wait?”

I was no longer in a body that would die if I left the spire. That meant there was no reason to wait for Lamierre to come. To think I couldn’t even imagine going outside the spire because I had become so used to this life. I stood up and approached Isaac. I took my letter from him, put it in my pocket, and walked out the door. The hallway that had felt so unfamiliar was now quite familiar to my eyes.

I spoke to Isaac as we walked down the hall.

“Isaac. What kind of place is the Academy?”

“The Academy is… the Academy.”

Isaac glossed over it, unable to find a proper explanation. Well, I’ll find out once I go there myself. I walked faster, feeling excited for the first time in a while. I ignored his nagging that I would get tired easily if I rushed like that.