The Price of Sophistry

I yearned to extract more information from Ling Chen, but he remained tight-lipped, unwilling to delve into the intricate secrets of these supernatural beings. He offered an explanation instead:

“The reason Sister feels her worldview collapsing is that the existence of gods should not be proven. However, whether or not gods exist doesn’t affect the world’s operation.

Very few people in this world can interact with the mystical, and they all share a consensus of secrecy to avoid disrupting the current human order.

Gods are gods precisely because they possess a mystery incomprehensible to mortals. If they lost that mystery, wouldn’t they become knowable entities? Theology is already complex enough; adding serious scientific research would only plunge this world into chaos.”

“Does God care if I am pious?”

“Sister, you claim to be a follower of Marx, making you a ‘heretic among heretics.’ Yet, your role as an apostle doesn’t conflict with your belief in God.”

A sudden realization dawned on me.

“I understand! I’m working for God, and my reward is a makeover with your help?”

“Sister can certainly interpret it that way.”

Regret instantly washed over me.

It was, in a word, profoundly regrettable.

“I was wrong! I should have directly wished upon the white-bearded old man that I could date the Goddess. Now, my wish is taking a complete detour!”

Ling Chen gave a thumbs-up. “I believe Sister’s wish addresses both the symptoms and the root cause. This ‘detour’ is actually Sister’s shortcut!”

I retorted, annoyed, “You little smart aleck, a ‘bonus service.’ For God’s sake, if you try to make another meme and annoy your elder sister, I’ll kick your backside with my boots.”

“Oh, my God, how dreadful! I swear on the Virgin Mary that I truly believed Sister possessed a golden spirit when I said that!”

“Don’t mimic my translation style, kora!”

“Ah, there’s no helping my big sister. If I don’t play along with her memes, wouldn’t she look silly?”

I calmed down.

Indeed, otaku are disgusting, constantly using stale memes. I am truly the source of all evil. The evidence is conclusive; I recommend a firing squad for myself.

Yet, this happiness of being understood made me unable to stop.

Otaku attract otaku. Ling Chen, who perfectly complements me, is simply my angel!

But!

I needed to confirm if Ling Chen and I were truly in sync. If he had inherited my personality, then I was in no danger whatsoever.

However, if Ling Chen harbored ulterior motives, a cohabitation between an isolated man and woman could easily lead to R-rated scenarios.

You might say Ling Chen is my younger brother, my blood brother even. But what do you understand?

For certain individuals of great evil, isn’t a “holy marriage” even more thrilling?

So, I feigned nonchalance and probed, “Ling Chen, what are your thoughts on works like Kiss x Sis?”

Ling Chen’s tone was flat. “I have no opinion. Sister, I’ll tell you plainly: don’t keep testing me, just as you shouldn’t test the Lord, your God. Although I possess a personality similar to yours, I also have some divine attributes. You can think of me as a personal god without divine power. Would a god be interested in certain human activities? And if I were to do something that violates socialist core values with Sister, wouldn’t that be a case of self-inflicted harm?”

“But I recall that ancient Greek gods behaved much like mortals, didn’t they? And there was Narcissus, the god who died of self-love. Besides, surely some people enjoy the theme of self-cest?”

Uncharacteristically, Ling Chen did not refute me. Instead, he mused, “It seems I need to re-evaluate Sister’s mental health. Sister, do you know what Narcissistic Personality Disorder is?”

I grew wary. “What are you trying to say?”

“Nothing. It just seems the path to correcting Sister’s twisted personality will be quite long.”

Ling Chen took a deep breath, as if making a difficult decision, and confessed:

“Never mind. To dispel Sister’s inexplicable suspicions, I’ll explain it in a way you can understand. I am not truly human in the conventional sense, so I don’t possess ‘that ability.’ Do you understand, Sister?”

Upon hearing his words, I was overcome with unbearable sorrow. I embraced him, tears streaming down my face.

“Ling Chen, you’re so pitiful… I shouldn’t have judged you with my filthy thoughts.”

“Sister, could you please not wipe your snot on me before you hug me?”

“W-w-what can I do? To think that I’ve lost ‘that ability,’ and now my own brother doesn’t have it either. Won’t our Ling family line end?”

“Sister, you act as if you’re playing Wife-Killing Saga! So, Sister, work hard to change back into a man and continue our family line for Father.”

“Forget it, too much trouble.”

“…”

Ling Chen had grown accustomed to my three-minute passions, and I was quite satisfied.

If there had to be a good-for-nothing in the world, why couldn’t it be me?

Ling Chen, facing an older sister as hopeless as me, you’ll never complete your mission. Why not just return to my body?

Ling Chen was clearly unwilling. “Is Sister truly willing to be alone for life?”

I pushed up my non-existent glasses, entering a mode of calm contemplation.

These questions would eventually need to be discussed with our parents, so I would use the omniscient and omnipotent Ling Chen as a practice subject.

“Loneliness? What is loneliness? What is its definition, Ling Chen? Don’t underestimate the resolve of a single person.

Loneliness is the essence of humanity, an inevitable stage of life. After being an otaku for so many years, loneliness hasn’t defeated me, nor have I defeated it. Instead, I’ve learned to make peace with it.

Loneliness is not a painful thing.

Secondly, in reality, our country’s long-standing gender inequality has burdened our generation with the pressure of a gender imbalance. It’s already hard to find a partner, and marriage demands are only getting higher. Before even marrying, one must shoulder the three great mountains of housing loans, betrothal gifts, and car loans. How could a trouble-averse, proud otaku like me ever find a wife?

Furthermore, my own life is already bad enough. How could I bear to let my descendants suffer with me? Unable to provide quality education and a nurturing environment, in this era, it would only perpetuate a cycle of pain.

Perhaps some might call me selfish, but selfishness is the very essence of genes. Genes are only interested in constantly copying themselves to maximize their survival and expansion in evolution. Marriage and procreation are merely biological instincts to propagate genes, but as an independently thinking individual, I can temporarily step out of such a terrible cycle.

Being alone for life isn’t terrifying. What’s terrifying is sacrificing one’s entire life for compromise. If loneliness brings me happiness, then of course I choose it.”

Hmm, I glanced at myself in the mirror. My smile was confident, my demeanor perfect. It seemed that when I was serious, I exuded the aura of a literary girl.

Elegant, intellectual.

I was clearly a beautiful, refined young woman! (Confirmed)

Ling Chen applauded, nodding in agreement. “Sister may not excel in studies, but she’s remarkably skilled at constructing flowery sophistry. However, I can dismantle Sister’s argument with just one sentence.”

My arrogance flared up, like Lu Laoye. “If you can defeat me, Ling Jiu, with one sentence today, I’ll drink all these skincare products right here, right now…”

Hmph, if Ling Chen were to refute me, he would surely argue from angles like retirement, emotions, society, and economics. But it didn’t matter!

If the heavens hadn’t given birth to me, the Keyboard Warrior, the path of the keyboard would be an eternal night!

I never feared arguing with anyone; I was a master of twisting black into white. In the old society, I would have been a shyster lawyer.

Come forth, keyboard!

I am Ling Jiu, the foremost Keyboard Saint in all the land.

Unexpectedly, Ling Chen did not intend to directly breach my defenses. He merely said calmly,

“Sister, check your QQ.”

I suspiciously opened my phone and found a new message from a contact I had specially favorited.

It was my Goddess!

[Ling Jiu, Old Zhang said you’re sick and need a few days to rest before coming to class. Do you need me to take notes for you? I’ll make time to visit you. Since you’re sick, remember to take your medicine and don’t stay up all night playing on your phone.]

The Goddess was visiting me? And caring for me so much?

In that moment, I felt as if I had turned to stone, solidified into an eternal pose, just to forever possess this moment of happiness.

This isn’t a dream, is it? This isn’t a dream, is it? This isn’t a dream, is it? This isn’t a dream, is it? This isn’t a dream, is it…

To think I’d get male lead treatment one day! According to plot development, I would definitely win over the Goddess!

No, I had to be cautious!

Her liking me was one of life’s three great delusions; I couldn’t be blinded by such sugar-coated bullets.

The Goddess must be visiting me because we’re best friends. This is just a sign of a very good relationship…

I have a very good relationship with the Goddess?

Very good relationship = likes me.

The Goddess likes me?!

I gripped Ling Chen’s hand, my gaze sincere and expectant as I looked at him:

“Ling Chen…”

“Sister, first wipe your drool. Then…”

Ling Chen knew what I was thinking, but he pointed at the skincare products, his expression blank, and said:

“A word once spoken cannot be unsaid. It’s time for Sister to fulfill her promise.”

My gaze was dull. “It’ll be poisonous.”

Ling Chen looked expectant. “Who was it just now that said they had resolve? Come on, Sister, you can do it.”

“You’re trying to murder your own sister!”

Perhaps Ling Chen truly was my blood brother; otherwise, he wouldn’t be so devious. If Ling Chen were my younger sister, this story could at least delve into some German bone orthopedics.

But since you’re my younger brother, not only can you not provide plot material, but you’ll also compete with me for girls. So don’t blame me for being impolite!

Class enemies deserve dictatorship.

Come on, Ling Chen, this noon, let’s challenge the taste of hell!