Too Much Love Can Destroy You

“Nngh… huh?”

I woke up, opened my eyes, and saw the dim room.

I blinked. At first, I didn’t even realize where I was. I thought I might be sleepwalking.

Then I remembered. Today, I slept in the living room, not in my bedroom like usual.

Which meant…

My senses slowly returned. I felt the warmth, the softness, the comfort of the bedding. More than usual. Because she was here.

Which meant none of it was a dream. Thank goodness. Honestly, thank goodness. Phew…

Thinking back to the time with Yi Yi before we fell asleep, it felt like a virgin’s overly imaginative spring dream.

This was only the first day. From now on, I’d wake up like this every day.

I wanted to get up, but Yi Yi was still using my arm as a pillow. My arm was numb from lack of blood flow.

A human pillow is harder than it looks. And waking up without disturbing Yi Yi seemed difficult, so I just stayed in that position.

This is probably what they call “the trouble of happiness.”

“Mm…”

Oh, Yi Yi seems to be waking up too.

After opening her eyes a little, Yi Yi sat straight up. What I’d worried about actually happened.

My pajama collar was too wide for her. It slipped off one shoulder, revealing her armpit.

She got up, and I was freed. I pulled back my numb arm, massaging the pins and needles with my other hand while watching Yi Yi wake up.

Ugh… the feeling of blood returning to my arm. So painful.

Yi Yi, like me, was still dazed from just waking up, wondering where she was.

This often happens when you wake up in an unfamiliar place. I’d gotten used to it during my homeless days.

After rubbing her eyes, Yi Yi looked down at herself, probably wondering why she was wearing such large pajamas. Then she started to take them off—right then and there.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!

“Wait, Yi Yi! I’m right here! Hold on!”

“…”

Yi Yi turned her head toward me. Then she fell silent.

Her eyes were definitely on my face, but she didn’t react. It was like her system crashed.

I waved my hand in front of her face.

“Yi Yi? Are you okay? Still not awake? Uh!”

Suddenly, Yi Yi reached out, grabbed my arm, and pulled me toward her.

My whole body fell onto Yi Yi like a blanket. It looked like I’d pushed her down.

Thinking my 65 kilos landing on her probably wasn’t comfortable, I quickly tried to push myself up with one arm.

But Yi Yi wrapped her arms around my neck, keeping me there.

“Uh, Yi Yi? Isn’t this uncomfortable for you?”

She must be half-asleep. The awake Yi Yi wouldn’t do this.

“No. I like it.”

Wait. Is she really half-asleep?!

We stayed like that for a while, on top of each other. Finally, Yi Yi let go. I propped myself up, creating a little distance.

Then Yi Yi looked into my eyes, gently cradled my face in her hands, and smiled goofily.

“Hehe…”

Damn…!

I took ten thousand points of cute damage to my heart.

I was going to die from cuteness!

She wasn’t half-asleep. She was just being affectionate now that she was awake!

Why is my girlfriend so cute?

“Darling.”

“Ye-yes? What is it?”

“Darling.”

“I’m right here. Um, Yi Yi, can we get up first?”

“Darling.”

“Uh…”

Does she just want to call me?

My guess was probably right. Every time she said “Darling,” the corners of her mouth lifted a little higher.

A smile beautiful to the bone.

“Love you.”

—Alright, alright. I’m Ah Wei. I know. I’ll go die, okay? —

Just like that, Ah Wei in my heart had died countless times.

This girlfriend is lethally sweet.

Then she hugged me again and rolled over, so I was lying on the bedding. She was on top.

She straddled me. Her waterfall-like white hair spilled down like rain, blocking my view.

She laid her chest on mine.

“This is real…”

I stroked her hair.

“Yes. It’s real. Not a dream.”

“I’m so glad…”

“Yeah. I’m glad too.”

Yi Yi felt the same as me.

The surreal development made us both afraid it was just a sweet dream. Afraid of waking up to find it was all an illusion.

I could feel that Yi Yi’s fear was even greater than mine. Because she really had nothing left but me.

“I’m right here. I won’t leave you.”

“Okay… okay… I know… I know…”

Her voice was already tearful.

She hadn’t cried when talking about her past.

But she cried when she woke up and realized it wasn’t a dream.

She was that afraid of losing again.

All her boyfriend could do now was hold her gently.

Ten minutes later…

“Whew… okay, Darling. I’m fine now.”

“Good.”

“I’m fine, but… I made you see me looking so pathetic…”

“Where’s the pathetic? You look super cute even when you cry.”

“No way… I didn’t expect to cry.”

“Crying isn’t a bad thing. And crying in someone’s arms is even more of a blessing.”

“That’s true… I’m very happy right now.”

I wrapped my arms around Yi Yi, sat up, and wiped her eyes.

“It’s a shame. If I don’t take a picture now, I might never get to capture you crying again.”

Yi Yi laughed through her tears and put her hands on my shoulders.

“Darling, you said, ‘If you truly like someone, you want to get to know them, and the more you know, the more you like them.’ Now that you know my past, do you like me more?”

“Yes. I love you even more now.”

“Hoh. We’ve been dating less than twenty-four hours, though?”

“Heh. Which little seductress was it that, right after we started dating, made the first move, offering kisses and more? You trust me way too easily.”

Red with embarrassment, Yi Yi pressed her forehead to my shoulder and whispered in my ear.

“Mmm… Come to think of it, maybe it was love at first sight for me too.”

“Oh? So I’m handsome?”

“Yes. The most handsome.”

“Wow… flattering me won’t get you anything, you know.”

“Are you sure?”

“If you keep tempting me, you won’t get anything good. It’ll hurt.”

“Then maybe I’ll cry from the pain. But only the first time hurts. Short-term pain for long-term gain. After that, it’s all good.”

“Yi Yi… are you this lustful?”

“I needed to prove it with actions since I didn’t give you a clear answer.”

“Your feelings are enough. We have plenty of time.”

“I really can…”

“Even with me, Yi Yi, as a woman, you shouldn’t give yourself so easily.”

“Why? I’ll only love you for the rest of my life.”

“Men are naturally fickle. The easier something comes, the less they cherish it. If you give yourself to me so easily, aren’t you afraid I’ll change?”

“…I don’t think I’d mind.”

“Huh? Yi Yi, are you serious?”

“Mm… as long as you still let me stay by your side…”

Right here, right now, I wanted to ask my dear idiot friend.

Didn’t you say Yi Yi was the henpecking type?

How is this henpecking?!

This is way too permissive!

But I couldn’t just take this as permission to be a playboy. Aside from the fact that I don’t have the means to be one, why would I need to when I have a perfect girlfriend at home?

Wildflowers are never as sweet as the flower at home!

“No, no. I was just saying ‘what if.’ How could I ever meet a woman better than Yi Yi? You becoming my girlfriend is already a one-in-a-million miracle.”

“Darling…”

Damn. What stupid thing did I just say? It sounds like I’m about to cheat.

I ruined the mood.

I should say something to reassure her.

“Yi Yi, from now on, we only have each other, don’t we?”

“Huh? Darling, are you also…”

“Yes. I’m an orphan too. My parents died when I was young.”

“…!”

She covered her mouth.

It’s been over ten years now.

“So I’ve always lived alone. But from now on, it’ll be the two of us. Isn’t it wonderful to live with someone you love?”

“I’m so happy you love me this much, Darling… Can I depend on you forever?”

“You already know the answer. Don’t ask.”

“I want to hear it.”

“May the rest of your life be happy because of me.”

“Yes. It will be…”

“Depend on me with your whole being.”

…

His gentleness made my consciousness hazy.

My palms. My chest. My senses slowly faded.

Unlike the feeling of a lamb being led to slaughter—my racing heart from earlier—this was different. A feeling of blending together.

He told me not to give myself easily. That the easier something comes, the less it’s cherished.

But no.

That’s not it.

I just wanted to use this method to draw him deeper into me.

To feed him the honey I’d tasted.

He would lick it unconsciously, drunk on its sweetness, unable to stop.

And he would sink into it.

Like honey slowly dissolving.

Dissolving inside me.

Until he was completely dissolved by me.

…

They say every man has a “peach blossom period.”

A time in life when they suddenly become popular with the opposite s*x.

And this period happens three times in a lifetime. Eventually, you’ll meet the one you’ll spend your life with.

Though this saying has no basis, it’s still a kind of hope or comfort.

Honestly, I’d already accepted the idea of living and dying alone. I didn’t care if I was popular with women.

But life always has a dramatic touch, like a gacha game. When you don’t want something, you get it. When you want something, you go broke from your pulls.

Getting my dream girlfriend felt like the best peach blossom period of my life.

But it was only the beginning.

Whether the old man in the moon got drunk and tangled the red strings, or Cupid overslept and shot the wrong arrow…

What happened later made me feel like my three peach blossom periods overlapped.

Meeting the person you want to spend your life loving—when you need them most—is naturally a happy ending.

But when a sudden rush of romantic luck completely disrupts your life, throwing you into turmoil, forcing you to make choices, causing you pain and anxiety—how many people can smile then?

An excessively intense peach blossom period is nothing but a disaster.

If you can handle it, you’re a king sitting on a harem throne, harmonious and happy.

If you can’t, you’re an unfaithful wretch ending up with a blade and a body cut into pieces, dying with regrets.

Meeting Shen Kaori was the beginning of the dream.

Everything was just starting.