Famous all over the world

“Miss!”

“Damn! How dare you commit such a vile act! Release her at once!”

“Let go of Miss Li! Take it out on me!”

Xiao Yu: ???

The two burly guards saw their young mistress being held and kissed by a half-naked man. Their eyes bulged. Gripping their blood-stained torture tools, they charged toward Xiao Yu, ready to separate the shameless criminal from Li Yunshang.

Bad.

Xiao Yu mentally cursed. He glanced at the system’s progress bar—only 8.51%.

?

Why were there two decimal places now?

“Host, contact is insufficient. Suggest going deeper. Or, if you prefer, you don’t have to use your mouth. Inserting any part of your body into Li Yunshang would suffice for refinement.”

The system helpfully reminded him from within his mind.

“Why didn’t you say that from the start, you damn system!”

“From a comprehensive analysis, kissing is currently the optimal solution—romantic and atmosphere-appropriate.”

“Are you kidding me? What atmosphere? I’ve been the one getting tortured pathetically this whole time! And I already said—I’m not the protagonist anymore!”

“Believe in yourself. You, host, are the protagonist.”

“Whatever. I’m too tired to argue. Those two guys are coming. What happens to the refinement if I stop kissing her?”

“There will be consequences. The love Gu inside Li Yunshang is highly unique. If interrupted mid-process, the system must restart refinement from zero.”

“…………”

This was impossible.

Was he supposed to tell the charging guards, “Wait a sec, I’m healing your mistress—let me finish the kiss first”?

They’d beat him to a pulp. And right now, he couldn’t even speak.

Fortunately, he didn’t have to decide. Someone else made the choice for him.

The guards’ loud shouts snapped Li Yunshang out of her daze. She’d been lost in her first-ever kiss, mind blank with maidenly shock. Now she saw the two men rushing in, desperate to save her.

“Don’t worry, Miss! We’ll save you!”

“Don’t worry, Miss! We won’t let this scoundrel touch you again!”

Without hesitation—

Thud! Thud!

Two spiked maces flew through the air, striking each guard square on the head. The force was so great, both collapsed unconscious instantly.

Xiao Yu: Wait… where did she even get all these spiked maces?!

At least the interruption crisis was over.

But a new one arose.

The next moment, Li Yunshang—who moments ago had been passive—suddenly found strength. She grabbed Xiao Yu’s head with both hands, pulling him down. A sweet, intoxicating breath flooded his mouth.

Holy sh*t!

Xiao Yu instinctively tried to resist, but it was useless. Li Yunshang’s legs locked tightly around his waist, clinging to him like a sloth to a tree.

The tide had turned. Now Xiao Yu was the one being overpowered.

Only now did he realize—he’d just handed a fresh piece of meat to a starving wolf. The wolf wouldn’t let go until it was fully devoured.

Inside his mouth, a fierce battle unfolded. Xiao Yu’s lips went numb.

The one silver lining? The progress bar was now rocketing upward.

“12%… 16%… 20%…”

So this method worked. Fine. If that’s how it is, don’t blame him for getting serious.

A sharp glint flashed in Xiao Yu’s eyes. He wasn’t a pushover. Even if he hadn’t eaten pork, he’d seen pigs run.

Slurp slurp slurp slurp slurp…

In battle, momentum shifts are unpredictable. The offensive line changed again.

Inside his mouth, his tongue was treated like a cherry—relentlessly toyed with.

“Uhh…”

Li Yunshang had never experienced anything like this. Compared to Xiao Yu, who had some experience, she was a complete novice—clumsy, relying purely on instinct.

Soon, she was overwhelmed.

Whoosh~

A faint wisp of steam rose from her head. Her delicate ears turned bright red. Her mind seemed to short-circuit.

“99%… 100%. Refinement complete. Love Gu’ Yin Hongniang’ has been stored in the system warehouse. Host may review later. 500 points credited.”

Xiao Yu pulled away, wiped his thumb across his lips, then casually flicked his arm—mission accomplished.

Not bad.

Compared to this, the burden of Xia Nianmo, that clingy mermaid, was far more troubling.

When she first woke up on Demon Gathering Island, that deep kiss nearly killed him. A mermaid’s tongue was different—cold, slightly fishy, and worst of all—pointed and long. To extract the thousand-year Millennium Imperial Water Pearl from his body, he could clearly feel something poking into his throat.

Maybe it was just his imagination. But mermaids and humans were different species. The sensation was naturally different.

Coming back to his senses, Xiao Yu saw Li Yunshang lying on the ground, dazed. Her cheeks were flushed, her eyes closed, a blissful smile on her lips—like she’d passed away peacefully.

“Did I actually kiss her to death?”

“Host, rest assured. The  Gu was deeply linked to Li Yunshang’s body. Her love for you was intense, serving as nourishment for the Gu. Upon removal, her body experiences temporary weakness. This is normal.”

“…………”

Xiao Yu took out the so-called love Gu, Yin Hongniang. It looked less like a bug and more like an incredibly vibrant red thread. Its colors shimmered unnaturally, distorting the surrounding space—as if it existed in another dimension.

Hmm… the grade was clearly high. Better stash it away quickly.

Mission complete. The reward was rich. Coming to Xuanling Sect was worth it. Totally worth it.

A smile tugged at Xiao Yu’s lips. His brown eyes sparkled with dollar signs.

Five hundred points… wait, no—fifty thousand points! Ah… I’m rich! That’s ten仙spirit stones, a hundred top-grade, a thousand high-grade, ten thousand mid-grade, a hundred thousand low-grade. If converted to spirit stones, it could support him and Xiao Yan for a lifetime.

Sure, in the system, the exchange rate was a clean tenfold:仙stone to top-grade, top-grade to high-grade, etc.

But in the cultivation world? No way.仙spirit stones—immortal spirit stones—were used for Immortal Realm cultivation. Their energy dwarfed countless top-grade stones. They were priceless, traded only in secret.

Selling them on the black market would net him endless spirit stones. He could actually live comfortably with Bai Yan forever.

And if it wasn’t enough? Use the stones to buy more points, then buy more仙stones. The system only charged ten times the price—meaning he’d always profit.

Hehehe… Xiao Yu couldn’t help but laugh like a greedy miser. He’d actually found a loophole in the system.

“…………”

“Host, the system does not allow exchanging points for spirit stones. Also, Yin Hongniang is a key plot item. It cannot be sold.”

Unfortunately, the system quickly closed the loophole, crushing Xiao Yu’s dreams.

“……”

“System, can you actually hear what I’m thinking?”

“No. But your creepy smile clearly shows what you’re plotting.”

“……”

“Host, please don’t swear. Biologically, the system has no mother.”

“So you can hear me?!”

………………

Dreams of wealth shattered, Xiao Yu gave up on his unrealistic fantasy.

Now, the most important thing was to escape before Li Yunshang woke up.

But first—

He picked up the bag of spirit stones Li Yunshang had thrown earlier to tempt him.

Looking at the unconscious Li Yunshang, he muttered as if explaining: “This is my rightful reward.”

He’d helped her remove the Gu, got taken advantage of—was taking a little compensation too much?

Her silence meant consent.

The bag contained over a dozen high-grade stones and dozens of mid-grade ones. The bag itself was a storage-type spirit artifact.

A small profit, but welcome.

Pocketing the bag, Xiao Yu approached the two guards Li Yunshang had knocked out.

He stroked his chin, eyeing the scattered clothes. After a moment of hesitation, he grabbed one guard’s pants and slowly began pulling them down.

Halfway through—

BOOM!

The prison door was violently kicked open. A group of fully armed Xuanling Sect disciples and elders stormed in.

“What’s going on? Was there a major prisoner escape? The prison’s emergency lock was triggered! Don’t worry, Li Junior Sister—we’re here to save you!”

Luo Yanming led the charge.

And walked straight into the scene.

“Damn!” The sight before him froze the True Disciple in place. He… really came at the wrong time.

At that moment, Li Yunshang behind Xiao Yu stirred, as if regaining consciousness, and moaned a suggestive line:

“Senior Brother… no… my head… it’s breaking…”

Her fair face was flushed, looking exactly like someone after *that* kind of moment.

“Senior Brother Luo, why—wait, WHAT?! How is Senior Brother Ye alive?!”

The rest of the group froze too. One of them, sharp-eyed, immediately recognized Xiao Yu.

Hard not to. For days, Xuanling Sect had been holding a grand funeral for Inner Sect Disciple Ye Feng. Everyone knew the story—Ye Feng, an inner sect disciple, had won the heart of the sect leader’s daughter, only to die tragically young.

Hahahaha…

Hahahahahahaha…

Xiao Yu’s body turned to stone, then slowly disintegrated into dust carried by the wind.

Maybe he really should learn the Golden Body, Child of Invincibility technique. Brother Fan and the others trained it for a reason. The elders weren’t elders for nothing—there was wisdom in their ways.

Shirt bursts were fun, sure. But afterward? A funeral pyre. Not only humiliating, but full of unnecessary misunderstandings.

Actually, being Li Yunshang’s dog wasn’t so bad. Right now, Xiao Yu just wanted to put on that collar. Was it too late?

One way or another, Xiao Yu knew…

He was about to become famous across the world.