The Delusions of Midterms

I had finally said everything I wanted to say to Rian. No one was around to push me around anymore. I thought it was finally time to walk a path of flower petals, but then the dates for the mid-term exams were announced.

“Study hard, everyone! I’m expecting great scores!”

Professor Berte gave us a bright smile, but no one answered. Students merely pulled out their planners with gloomy faces to mark the dates and the range of the material. I was no different. Just when I thought I’d found some leisure, life was about to get frantic again.

I scratched my head while staring at the schedule. If the range is narrow, the exam is harder because you have to study the details; if the range is wide, it’s hard because of the sheer volume. No matter how much you try to find a shortcut, there is no such thing as a “comfortable” exam period—especially since I had resolved to beat that annoying Pendil and reclaim the top rank this year.

I started stuffing my bag full of textbooks with burning passion, but then I froze.

Wait. Didn’t I decide to just graduate quietly? Since I’m not looking for a high-flying career, do I really need to kill myself for top marks?

The corners of my mouth curled up. I could actually spend this exam period quite comfortably. Playing while everyone else is suffering makes the fun twice as potent, doesn’t it? I was wearing a wicked grin as I started putting the textbooks back on the shelf, but then Ronia spoke.

“If your grades suddenly plummet, won’t the professor call you in for a counseling session?”

Thud. I dropped every single textbook I was holding.

“Are you okay with sitting across from a professor in a small room and being asked questions like, ‘Is something going on at home lately?'”

At those words, I shoved the textbooks back into my bag. If I had known it would be like this, I should have lived a more reckless life from the start. This is why they say living diligently is a losing game.

I threw my bag over my shoulder and headed to the library with Ronia.

“Keep your grades up just in case,” Ronia added. “Dreams can change, you know.”

“You think so?”

“Hey, you changed your entire personality in a short time. Why wouldn’t a dream change just as fast? There’s no harm in having good grades, so keep them steady.”

“I suppose you’re right.”

“By the way, where’s Michael?”

“Most of Michael’s exams are practicals. He’s probably at the training grounds right now.”

We opened the library doors. Even though it was early, the place was packed. We circled the floor like vultures looking for a seat. Ronia nudged me and whispered, “There are two seats over—”

Suddenly, a student who was already seated placed a notebook and a bag on the empty chairs one after another. Saving spots for friends. We resumed our lap around the library. This time, I poked Ronia in the ribs.

“There’s an empty spot.”

We rushed toward the seats, only to find two quills lying lonely on the desk. Someone had stepped away for a moment. I felt like a fish that had bitten an empty hook.

We circled again. I lost track of how many laps we’d done. Just as we were about to give up and study elsewhere, we found two empty seats in a secluded corner. Phew, finally.

As soon as I sat down, a groan escaped my lips. I was already tired. My instincts told me to face-plant onto the desk, but Ronia’s eyes flashed sharply. I quickly pulled a book from my bag. It was a good thing I came with Ronia. If I were alone, I would have been snoring by now. I opened the book, and within five minutes, the drowsiness hit me again.

The sound of pages turning, the scratching of quills on paper… it was like a live ASMR performance. Oh, this library atmosphere—I love it. I love it so much I could fall asleep this instant.

I caught myself. I can’t sleep, right? Ronia will scold me again. I rubbed my eyes with my fists and glanced at Ronia. She was leaning her chin on her hand, half-asleep herself. A thin smile spread across my face.

You’re sleeping too.

Relieved, I was about to close my eyes when I snapped out of it and hurriedly shook Ronia awake. To think the atmosphere was so potent it even got to the mighty Ronia. I would have been doomed if I had come alone. We kept each other awake and studied hard.

Of course, we wanted to get distracted every five minutes. I found myself clenching my teeth because a thick literature book I would normally never touch suddenly looked fascinating, and Ronia looked like she was dying because she wanted to doodle instead of taking notes.

Then the hunger kicked in. I checked the time; it was already lunch. Other students were standing up to head to the cafeteria. We followed suit.

“Let’s go eat.”

“Yeah, we study to live, not live to study.”

We debated between the cafe and the cafeteria, but Ronia insisted on the cafeteria, saying we needed a hearty meal during finals. She was right. We ordered steak, french fries, and salad.

We spotted Netz, who was in the same Magic Department as Ronia, eating lunch alone. I approached him to say hello.

“Hello, Netz.”

“Ah, hello, Cecil.”

“Are you having steak and fries too? We ordered the same thing. Is it good?”

“Yes, it’s delicious. Oh, but look at this, Cecil. I have something to show you.”

“What is it?”

Netz excitedly showed me a single french fry he had set aside on a separate plate. I looked at it with confusion. Netz asked with a beaming face, “Isn’t it cute?”

“Pardon?”

“I was eating, and this one was just drooping so limply. It looks exactly like the plant I’m cultivating.”

“…What? You’re growing a plant?”

“It’s an ingredient for a potion I want to make one day. But look how adorably it droops, haha. Even though it’s exam week, I can’t stop thinking about it, hahaha.”

“…….”

“Ah, the more I look at it, the cuter it gets. I don’t think I can even eat it. What should I do?”

After that, Netz went back to his steak, and I slowly backed away to my seat. I opened my mouth to speak.

“Um, about Netz…”

Ronia cut me off before I could finish. “Leave him be. It’s exam week.”

“Ah, right. Of course.”

I understood. It was an unspoken rule that during exam season, any level of madness was acceptable. Still, the exams had barely started and we already had casualties. How many more crazies would there be by the end? And what were the odds that I wouldn’t be one of them?

I swallowed hard. I had to make sure I didn’t lose my mind. Then, my eyes fell on the salad the server brought. I immediately lifted the bowl and said, “Oh, look at this, Ronia.”

“What now?”

“Isn’t salad just the most magnificent food? Eating this makes you lose weight, get healthy, and improves your skin. If I could, I’d live on nothing but salad for the rest of my life.”

“……How are you going crazy already?”

“Huh? I’m not crazy.”

“Saying you only want to eat salad is proof enough. Last exam period you only ate tomatoes, and here we go again.”

“What are you talking about? It’s not because of exams, it’s because salad is a truly noble food—”

“Michael is bringing you cheesecake tonight, so eat your meat.”

Ronia shoved a piece of steak into my mouth. After lunch, we returned to the library. But since we were full and our seats were by the window, the sunlight was streaming in. The sleepiness was even worse than before.

We both started nodding off simultaneously. After barely regaining our senses, we tried to study, but the drowsiness only deepened. We gave up and left the library after four hours—well, three, if you count the hour spent on lunch.

Why did we work so hard to find seats? We couldn’t afford to waste any more time. we put our heads together to strategize.

“Let’s study somewhere noisy this time.”

“But if it’s too noisy, it’ll be hard to focus.”

“We just need somewhere moderately noisy.”

My eyes sparked. “If we study at a cafe, it’ll go well.”

“……That’s it! The cafe!”

Ronia looked like she’d just had a revelation. We headed straight for the cafe. It was crowded, but not as suffocating as the library. We found a cozy spot and ordered two iced coffees. I resisted the cake since Michael was bringing cheesecake later.

The sound of the staff preparing drinks, the chatter of customers, the clinking of ice cubes… Ah, this peaceful, everyday atmosphere. It was so good. So good, in fact, that I was falling asleep again.

I was nodding off with my chin in my hand when I jumped awake in surprise. Across from me, Ronia was also peacefully napping.

Ah, thank goodness. I’m not the only one sleeping this time.

Let’s just sleep a bit more then, I thought, but then I snapped to my senses. I hurriedly woke Ronia up.

“This is weird. We changed locations, so why am I still sleepy?”

“I know. I usually never fall asleep in cafes.”

“Oh, but Ronia, being at the cafe reminds me…”

“What?”

“I saw a couple here the other day having a huge screaming match.”

“Eh, that happens.”

“The couple was from the Swordsmanship Department and the Magic Department.”

“What? Really?! Tell me everything. I won’t know who they are, but I want to know why they fought.”

“It seemed to be about staying in touch. They were arguing over how many letters to exchange during the break. Ronia, how often do you contact your fiancée?”

“Hmm, we each write one letter a day like a diary and then deliver them all at once during the break. My fiancée does the same.”

“Whoa, really? That’s so romantic. Maybe I should try that with Michael?”

“But you two see each other and talk every single day. You live close by, too. So instead of letters…”

A while later, we realized we were chatting and laughing just like the other customers. Reality hit us like a cold bucket of water.

“……What are we actually doing?”

“……I know.”

I took off my glasses. “Let’s get some fresh air.”

“Yeah.”

We went outside and sat on a bench.

“I thought if I was with you, I’d study really hard.”

“I thought the same about you.”

“Ronia, you’re usually so good at focusing when you’re alone.”

“You are, too.”

A moment of silence passed.

“Maybe we should have been studying separately from the beginning?”

“Probably.”

“…….”

We said nothing for a moment, then simultaneously grabbed each other’s hands.

“But I don’t want to.”

“Exactly. Studying alone is no fun.”

We were the type of people who would desperately hunt for fun even in the middle of exams. As we took a night stroll, we lamented.

“Wow, I think I really have to drop out this time. I’m going to fail these exams.”

“Let’s do it together. If our grades are low, we’ll have to retake the classes, and just imagining that is terrifying.”

As we walked along, two students passed by us whispering.

“Aren’t those two the ones? The runner-up from the General Department and the top of the Magic Department.”

“I bet they’ll get amazing grades again this time. Ugh, what a bunch of deceptive overachievers.”