A Blast from the Past

I often thought.
That if you are good at hiding anything, you will always occupy a favorable position.
Whether it’s a mistake, a wrongdoing, a failure, or a success.
But in the end, the calculation is never fair.
If you hide success, you will avoid the envy of others, but you will also not get the cheers of others.
If you hide a mistake, you will be free for the time being, but you will inevitably feel breathless every time you see it.
The same goes for wrongdoing.
If you hide failure, you have to pay the price of someone’s sincere comfort and the next opportunity to leap forward in exchange for avoiding immediate ridicule.

‘Then what should I hide to be the most advantageous?’

After long thought, I came to the conclusion that it was ’emotions’.
In a courtroom, among the prosecutor, the lawyer, and the judge, the person who should be the most distant from emotions is undoubtedly the judge.
The law does not ask for ‘feelings’.
Even if the crime is so sickening that it turns your stomach.

‘Hate the sin, but not the sinner.’

But how easy is that?
The sin committed by a person becomes the person himself.
Among the essential elements that make up that person, it eventually becomes the biggest modifier.
Since learning the law, I have practiced separating my emotions countless times.
I killed them, suppressed them, and turned a blind eye to them.
Because I had to.
But is it thanks to that?

‘Because I’ve postponed my own, I can see other people’s emotions so well.’

Jeong Donghyeok was stiffer than at any other time I had seen him.
That appearance was close to instinctive tension.
A peripheral tension that has been learned by instinct.

“Ah, Lawyer Jeong. You can sit here.”

PD Yoo Jihyeong, who had noticed the subtle flow of the atmosphere, skillfully led the man called Lawyer Jeong to his seat.
And on behalf of the man, he introduced us to each other.

“This is Lawyer Cha Yohan of Dike Law Office, and this is Lawyer Jeong Myeonggyu of the law firm Justice.”
“Ah, the one who’s so famous these days? Nice to meet you. I’m Jeong Myeonggyu, a senior lawyer at Justice.”
“…Yes. I’m Cha Yohan.”

‘Justice? And a senior?’

He wasn’t a face I knew.
I could be confident because I knew the faces of every single employee in the litigation team.

‘Then he must have joined after I left.’

But the senior-level lawyers at ‘Justice’ were almost the best.
That meant that there were no suitable replacements.

‘And yet he’s a face I don’t know.’

Is he acquainted with Hyeon Yeongje?
Otherwise, in a public setting like this…
I rarely couldn’t hide my sinking expression.
It was a complex emotion that was difficult for me to distinguish, whether it was hostility on behalf of Jeong Donghyeok or disappointment in the ‘Justice’ I had encountered like this.
PD Yoo Jihyeong coughed to try to lighten the ambiguous atmosphere.

“Ahem, the program format is largely unchanged from what we sent you in the email. We’ll cast panelists and lawyers and in a virtual case…”

Yoo Jihyeong explained the system where they would divide the plaintiff and the defendant, and the lawyer who won, just like in a normal trial, would be the winner.

“It’s a pilot program, so we don’t know how many episodes it will run for, but you two will be in charge of the first case.”
“Yes.”
“Yes, well. It won’t be difficult.”
“I’ll send you the relevant materials again via email soon. I look forward to working with you.”
“Don’t worry, PD-nim. Whether it’s the first episode or the last, victory is as good as mine.”

Jeong Myeonggyu lightly patted PD Yoo Jihyeong’s arm, who had stood up, and added.
Writer Lee Euno answered with a smile instead of Yoo Jihyeong.

“Haha, Lawyer Jeong is so full of fighting spirit. When we contacted Justice about appearing on the program, they immediately recommended you.”
“Actually, I’m being called the ‘face’ of ‘Justice’ these days.”
“Please take good care of our program too. We were looking for people who are full of fighting spirit like you.”

I sent the still-stiff Jeong Donghyeok ahead and bowed my head to the people who were talking.

“…We’ll be going now.”
“Ah, yes, yes. Please go. See you again next time.”

Jeong Myeonggyu just looked at us with an interested expression.
Even after leaving the room, leaving the restaurant, and waiting for the valet, I didn’t ask Jeong Donghyeok anything.
Because my mind was also quite complicated.

‘Justice…’

It was already out of my hands, but the way I had encountered it so suddenly was so far beyond my expectations.

“……”

Just then, a voice that appeared from behind broke the silence that had been brought about by each of their own reasons.

“Hey, aren’t they giving you too much credit for a few wins?”

It was Jeong Myeonggyu, who had appeared swaggering.
I turned around instead of Jeong Donghyeok.
Jeong Myeonggyu looked at me with one corner of his mouth raised arrogantly.

“What was it, Zero-Wins? I’ve heard a bit about you too. You’re enjoying a fleeting moment of popularity that you’ll never have again in your life, but you’re about to be completely disgraced. I’m sorry in advance.”
“Yes, thank you for your concern.”

I glanced at Jeong Donghyeok, who was still looking ahead, and then answered.

“Anyway, old sayings are never wrong. It’s not like they’re not two of a kind, their thick-skinnedness is the same. I wondered what they were doing to make a living, and it’s just an office manager. Tsk. I thought they were living a great life or something.”

Swish.

As soon as he finished speaking, Jeong Myeonggyu got into the luxury sedan that had appeared in front of him and disappeared.
I memorized the license plate of that car and spoke to Jeong Donghyeok with a composed expression.

“Office manager, aren’t you hungry? The food here was really bad. I couldn’t even eat two spoonfuls.”

Even though I said that, in reality, neither of us seemed to have any intention of putting anything more in our mouths.
We left the still-silent car and headed to a cafe a little away from the office.

“Your two hot Americanos are ready.”
“Thank you.”

I hurriedly got up from my seat and brought the coffee back.
But as if to mock my haste, both of us just placed our hands on our knees.
For a long time.
There were not a few clients who remained silent even when facing a lawyer.
That meant that I was as used to silence as I could be.

‘But now…’

I felt as if all the immunity I had had had disappeared.

‘Don’t you know anything?’

[No. He didn’t talk much about himself in the first place. He always only talked about public matters…]

‘But you must have spent a considerable amount of time together, and if even you don’t know… Well, I didn’t do a good job either.’

As soon as Jeong Donghyeok came, cases had poured in, and even though I had made the proposal, I hadn’t taken care of anything in particular.
At most, coffee…

[But this is really the first time I’ve seen him like this.]

I nodded slightly.
Jeong Donghyeok was not in his usual stiff posture, but he wasn’t broken either.
He looked at the black surface of the water in the mug, which was quietly swaying with even the slightest movement.
If the table was shaken even a little by someone’s movement, the coffee moved as if it would escape the white radius of the mug.
The small waves that trembled like the surface of the water in a heavy rain.

“…Lawyer.”
“Yes, office manager.”

After a long time, Jeong Donghyeok opened his lips.
A smile flashed across his face.
I knew the shape of that smile.
It was the smile of a person who had reviewed and reviewed the past days and had come to a kind of conclusion.

“No matter how much I think about it, it’s a very cliché story.”
“……”
“That person from earlier. Lawyer Jeong Myeonggyu.”
“…Yes.”
“He’s my half-brother.”

I had thought there would be a big story, but even so, this was a bit much.
I tried hard not to show my bewilderment on the outside and gripped the handle of the now-lukewarm mug.

“It’s a story I’ve never told anyone because I’ve been ashamed of it. Would you listen?”

It feels like any answer I give would be the wrong one.
I quietly nodded my head.

It was a moderately harmonious, appropriately busy, and quite comfortable childhood.
A yard where the grass was always green, large trees where you could hear the sound of leaves tickling each other when the wind blew.
A peaceful home where you could start the day with the soft morning sunlight.
That’s how Jeong Donghyeok remembered it.
At least, until Jeong Myeonggyu appeared.
His father was a judge, his mother a civil servant.
A son who was always polite and smiled brightly.

“I’m home.”
“Oh, Donghyeok, welcome back.”

They were so close that they could laugh off the envy and jealousy of those around them.
But peace was like a very thin plate, and you always had to make an effort not to break it.
Though he learned a short while later that if the one who breaks it is not this side but the other, then you are just powerless.

Clang!

It’s my mother’s favorite cup.
I think that thought was the biggest one at that moment.
Jeong Donghyeok looked at the cup that had slipped from his mother’s hand and fallen to the marble floor, no.
The ceramic fragment that had been a cup.
The red tea wet the white marble floor.
It just wet it, it couldn’t soak in.
The woman sitting in front of his mother squeezed her son’s hand even tighter.
That child just looked at Jeong Donghyeok.
Jeong Donghyeok couldn’t meet his eyes.

“…Does that make any sense right now?”
“Do you think I have a reason to lie after coming all this way? I’m going crazy too…”

The woman’s voice was trembling.
If you heard it, it was pitiful enough to make you feel sympathy.
Jeong Donghyeok held his trembling hands. Even though the two hands, which had been trembling separately, were now trembling together, clasped.

“For ten years, that person, for ten years…”

His mother cried out as if in a scream.
Jeong Donghyeok and Jeong Myeonggyu were the same age.
Jeong Myeonggyu’s biological mother explained what had happened one by one.
Crying, screaming, and begging.

“We were seniors and juniors in college, and at first it was normal. Even when he was talking about marriage with you, he hadn’t broken up with me. I was already pregnant at that time…!”

He had heard that his mother and father had chosen to marry based on conditions and personality.
His mother’s prestigious family of civil servants for generations, and his father’s family who had only money.

“If I just kept my mouth shut, he said he would divorce and come back someday. It’s been ten years since he told me not to worry. What did our child do wrong, what did he do wrong to have to live without seeing his own father?”
“…The child did nothing wrong.”

After a long silence, the only thing that came out of his mother’s mouth was that.
The young Jeong Myeonggyu smiled brightly and looked up at his mother.

“Mom, am I going to live with my dad now? Then are we all a family now? What about him? What about this aunt?”

While the woman couldn’t answer, his mother swallowed her tears and picked up the broken ceramic fragments with trembling hands.
One by one, one by one.
One drop, one drop.
His mother’s warm blood fell on the dried red tea.

“Oh, you’re back.”
“…Yes.”

There was no more peace in the house.
The feeling of living knowing that his father and his father’s other son were outside the house was something he couldn’t tell anyone.
For years.

“Donghyeok. I don’t know when the last time I saw my son smile was.”

On his mother’s face, who said that, there was a gentle sadness hidden by a smile.
It was his father’s choice.
If four people became unhappy because of one person’s choice, wasn’t that a bit of an unfair treatment?
He thinks he might have thought that someday.
But as time passed, the ones who became unhappy were Jeong Donghyeok and his mother, Jin Haerim.

“…Mom. He said it last time. At the dinner with his father, that he would become a judge like his father.”
“…He did.”
“Yes. So I’m going to try too.”

Jin Haerim nodded silently.
She neither encouraged nor denied it.
Because it had been so long since her son, who had grown taller than her, had said he would try to do something.
And so, Jeong Donghyeok and Jeong Myeonggyu entered different law schools in the same year.
And only one of them ended up within the same fence as their father.