A Chaotic Family Dinner

When Tou next awoke, he found himself already seated at the dinner table.

“Oh, my adorable little Tou is finally awake,” Qiao Qiao’s mother cooed. “They all insisted on waiting for you to wake before we ate, so we’ve been patiently holding off until now. Don’t you worry, I’ll bring out the prepared dishes right away.”

Qiao Qiao’s mother waved a hand before Tou, her expression radiating joy, a captivating and alluring smile playing on her lips. Then, as if struck by a sudden thought, she covered half her face with one hand, her eyes narrowing playfully as she turned towards the kitchen.

“Mama! Qiao Qiao will help you too!” Little Qiao Qiao hopped down from her tall stool, scampering after her mother with a flurry of ‘thump-thumps’.

“My adorable little Qiao Qiao, please don’t run around inside the house!”

“Yes, Mama, I was wrong! Ooh-wah! It’s so beautiful! It looks absolutely delicious!”

From the adjacent kitchen, first came little Qiao Qiao’s earnest admission of fault, followed by an explosive shriek of delight.

Tou, still unaware of what had transpired, rubbed his eyes and sat up.

“Husband, you’re awake! Tonight, you’ll have delicious food you love, and me too!”

Then a hand gripped his wrist, and a damp handkerchief began to gently wipe his face.

“M-Master… is it the morning power? Ah…” Tou hadn’t quite recovered, his arms stretching straight above his head, like a person doing a morning stretch.

“Eh? Why are you all looking at me so sickly?”

Tou, his eyes still half-lidded, saw everyone appearing utterly dejected, as if they had one foot in the grave, staring at him with a hint of resentment.

He hadn’t done anything, so why were they upset with him?

“Cough, cough! Young lady, you’re finally awake! If you had slept until dawn, these old bones of mine would have surely given out right here today.” The Village Chief coughed, straightening his posture as he spoke.

“Indeed! We’ve all been longing for you to wake up and eat! Everyone around you seems to be under a spell, refusing to start eating until you’re awake. Waaah! My adorable little Qiao Qiao, and my beloved wife, they actually… they actually wouldn’t let an old cripple like me eat, waiting until now! Do you know how much I’ve suffered?” Qiao Qiao’s father, like an abandoned dog, slumped onto the table, pounding it with dissatisfied ‘thump-thumps’.

“Huh?” Tou, caught in the crossfire even while sitting, felt that he was the one who should be dissatisfied! These two, one a cripple and the other an old geezer – Tou found the sight unbearable. With a loud *bang*, he slammed the table, stood up, and pointed at their noses, scolding them:

“I don’t care how much you’ve suffered! Staring at me like famished dogs is utterly disgusting!”

“Oh, my adorable little Tou, please don’t shout in the house!”

Tou found the voice familiar. Turning his head, he saw Qiao Qiao’s mother with her flaxen hair and gentle smile. Immediately, an image flashed through his mind: Qiao Qiao’s mother, her bare bottom, her full, rounded figure, her utterly captivating curves…

“Argh! Get away! Get away! Get away!” Tou’s face flushed crimson as he clutched his head, violently shaking it as if to forcefully delete those indecent images.

“Master, what’s wrong? If your head aches, please rest here with me!”

Tou felt someone embracing his head, and then a soft, yielding sensation. His head felt as though it were nestled between two warm, soft balloons, and his headache vanished instantly.

“This is… so fragrant.” Tou opened his eyes to darkness, yet he felt no fear. Relaxing, he inhaled deeply, savoring the faint, delicate fragrance of osmanthus infused with water, tempting him to lick, to bite.

“Mmm… ah…”

Ji Jie, who held Tou to her chest, suddenly blushed a seductive shade of red, letting out a comfortable sigh.

However, that comforting sensation quickly dissipated. Perceiving the impropriety of the situation, Yue Ye Si swiftly snatched Tou away, embracing him between her own ample bosom, just as Ji Jie had done. She then loudly warned her, “You lowly, despicable maid! Who gave you permission to hug my husband!”

Tou was pulled away, and of course, he saw what he had been biting. His head immediately buzzed. Then, with a ‘puruang~’ sound, he bumped into Four-Master’s chest, which was as elastic as jelly.

The buzzing in his head instantly escalated, feeling as if he’d been trapped inside a violently shaken bell. He felt like a cat whose head had turned into a bell, his mind utterly chaotic.

“Ah! Ah! Ah! Get away! Don’t touch me!” Tou unconsciously flailed his arms, striking Yue Ye Si repeatedly with ‘pia pia pia’ sounds, leaving her disoriented.

“Husband! What’s wrong with you! Does your head hurt again? Don’t worry, rest here with me! It’s so comfortable here! Soon you’ll…” Yue Ye Si endured the pain of his blows, pressing Tou’s head against her chest.

Yet, Tou resisted even more fiercely! He pushed forcefully against Yue Ye Si’s front, desperate to escape the confines of those two peaks.

“Master… Master seems to be in great pain! You should let him go!” Ji Jie, seeing Tou struggling as if drowning, worried for him and nervously grabbed one of Yue Ye Si’s hands, urging her.

“I… Why doesn’t mine work?!” Yue Ye Si threw her head back and roared, then released her grip.

Tou had been struggling; when Yue Ye Si suddenly let go, his body sharply recoiled.

“Oh dear!”

Tou once again felt that reassuring softness, but his impact landed squarely on the spot Ji Jie had been bitten earlier, making her cry out in pain.

Soon, Tou’s mind cleared considerably. He stared blankly at the infuriated Four-Master, her face flushed crimson.

“Oh, my adorable little Tou prefers the maid’s chest!” Qiao Qiao’s mother observed, chuckling playfully as she placed two platters, one with large pig trotters and another with heart-shaped radishes, in the center of the table.

Leaning over the table to reach Tou’s head, with a delicate flick of her orchid-like finger, she curved her lips into an enchanting smile and said:

“This is a punishment, you know? If you cause any more mischief at the dinner table, you won’t be allowed to eat!”

However, this punishment felt more like a reward. In Qiao Qiao’s mother’s posture, the vast, profound chasm of her cleavage was laid bare for all to see, causing Tou’s heart, which had just settled, to flare with renewed heat.

Moreover, the delicious food on the table excited him even more.

“Oh dear, it’s gotten dirty…”

Qiao Qiao’s mother had leaned too low just now, and oil from the large pig trotters had smeared onto her chest. Wiping away the yellow oil with a finger, she extended it towards Tou, raising an eyebrow with a smile.

“Heh heh, that punishment was a bit too light. Let’s add another! Eat this, tell me what it tastes like, and then you can eat your meal.”

“What? You vixen, how dare you tempt me like this? Do you wish to experience the might of my Ruyi Jingu Bang?”

Tou’s mind was perfectly clear now, and for the sake of the food, he didn’t want to stoop to her level.

“Exactly! How dare you tempt my husband like that? Believe it or not, I’ll throw you out!” Yue Ye Si wrapped her arms around Tou’s waist, glaring warily at Qiao Qiao’s mother.

“Bastard! Who’s your husband?! Get lost!” Tou had endured her for too long. He sharply elbowed her in the stomach, sending Yue Ye Si back to her seat in pain.

Ignoring Yue Ye Si, Tou conjured a small rod in his hand—his Imperial Arm, Ruyi Jingu Bang. Pointing it at Qiao Qiao’s mother, he lifted his chin slightly, speaking with the arrogance of a haughty young lady:

“What? Do you want a beating too? What kind of punishment? How dare you punish me? I’ll let you taste my power; you’ve probably seen how big and thick it can get, haven’t you? Want to try it? Let a sow-like woman like you experience the feeling of ascension! Heh, what do you say?”

“You impudent girl, you truly don’t know what’s good for you!” Qiao Qiao’s father stood up in a fit of rage, roaring so loudly that Tou nearly dropped the rod from his hand.

Then, Qiao Qiao’s father reached out, grasped Qiao Qiao’s mother’s wrist, his face flushed, and chuckled foolishly:

“Hoo-hoo-hoo! My beloved wife, I am willing to accept this punishment.”

“Roar~, my dearest husband, you were just complaining that I wouldn’t let you eat, weren’t you? This isn’t your punishment! My punishment for you is that you won’t be eating with us tonight. I’ve already had little Qiao Qiao deliver your portion to the doghouse. If you’re late, you’ll go hungry tonight!”

Qiao Qiao’s mother always spoke gently, yet this manner of speaking made people even less inclined to resist, for her smiling, narrowed eyes always conveyed the impression that severe consequences would follow if her words were not obeyed.

“Yes! My beloved wife, I shall go accept my punishment at once! I will thoroughly reflect on my mistakes, and a ten-thousand-word self-criticism letter will be placed by your pillow tomorrow!” Qiao Qiao’s father straightened up with a sudden jolt, then obediently shuffled out, leaning on his cane.

“My esteemed Grandpa, you also seemed to complain just now…”

“I understand! My precious granddaughter, I’m heading out right now!”

The old man, too, shuddered, and without waiting for Qiao Qiao’s mother to finish speaking, he bolted out the door in terror.

“Mama, wasn’t that plate of local chicken meant as a reward for the puppies? I deliberately mixed it with their dog food to prevent them from being picky eaters! If Papa and Grandpa eat that…”

Little Qiao Qiao’s round eyes widened. She felt a pang of regret and fear, knowing that if her father and grandfather found out, she would surely be disciplined.

“Oh, my adorable little Qiao Qiao, what you did was excellent,” Qiao Qiao’s mother said, her heart seemingly filled with admiration. She praised her, then stuffed the oil stain she had intended for Tou into Qiao Qiao’s mouth.

“It’s delicious! Mama, actually, when I was feeding the puppies, I saw one of them defecate on the ground. To punish them, I put their droppings into the food bowl! Papa and Grandpa will surely love it, won’t they?”

Little Qiao Qiao suddenly realized that punishing Papa and Grandpa alongside Mama made Mama happier. To earn more rewards, she confessed her deed with the puppies, looking as innocent and deserving of praise as if she had performed a good deed, her gaze fixed expectantly on the oil stain on Qiao Qiao’s mother’s chest.

“Oh, my goodness!” Qiao Qiao’s mother suddenly became excited. She stroked little Qiao Qiao’s head, her smile brimming with satisfaction. “My adorable little Qiao Qiao! What you did was absolutely brilliant! That’s truly like my daughter, truly a woman of my Qiao family! I’ll reward you with all the remaining oil stains on me. Keep up the good work in the future!”

“Wow! Really, all for me? That’s amazing! I’ll definitely become a big, powerful woman like Mama someday!”