The Goblin’s Long Memory

“You’re alive!”

“You said the human would be here soon!”

“How have you been?”

Bodangbo felt quite heavy, probably because it’s been so long since I last held him. Was his weight always this substantial? No matter! It must be because I haven’t picked him up in ages!

I hugged Bodangbo, the talking goblin, and rubbed against him affectionately.

“Oh, this is Bodangbo. If you go further down, there’s an underground waterway where he runs a business. You should check it out if you ever need anything.”

“Th-that’s a goblin, isn’t it?”

“Hmm. Didn’t I tell you? Really smart goblins can speak human languages.”

“I think I might have heard that before….”

What’s with those faces, as if you’ve seen a ghost? Though they reluctantly sheathed their swords, they still recoiled, their expressions troubled. What’s the problem now?

As I tilted my head in confusion, Bodangbo, still in my arms, tugged at my sleeve.

“Human. Human name. Name needed.”

“My name? Suddenly? You already knew it.”

“No. Human was not name.”

That’s strange. Even he doesn’t know my name. Come to think of it, I hadn’t really told him before. But that was because it wasn’t necessary, right?

Regardless of whether I revealed my name, all NPCs should inherently know it. That was the normal system output for a player, a marker for the protagonist.

“How did you get here?”

“Bebe died. Bodangbo came every day. Strange ones were here. Still came and saw.”

So he occasionally visited even when I wasn’t around. It seems the maxed-out affection I built up lasted longer than I expected. It’s quite touching to know it was still working in my absence.

“My name is ‘I Want to Bang Faust’.”

“Why are you suddenly saying that to the Captain?!”

“And what’s your problem?”

The moment I uttered my name, Jack squawked as if I’d hit some kind of panic button. Faust, flustered and unsure how to react, flushed a deep red.

It’s definitely a recognition error, but I can’t quite pinpoint what the problem is.

“Human, who is Faust?”

“Huh? How do you know Faust’s name? Well, he’s that handsome one over there, with the blonde hair and blue eyes.”

“Human wants to mate with that human?”

“What?”

Mate? Suddenly? What on earth is he talking about? I was completely bewildered, yet I still answered him.

“No. Not at all. Why the sudden question?”

“You just said ‘I Want to Bang Faust’.”

“Right, at this point, it’s safe to assume the NPCs can’t recognize my name at all.”

Is it because the name is too long? Or did a recognition error occur because I didn’t properly register the name during play? Either way, it seems the entire system is glitching due to some underlying problem.

“If it’s too long, just call me Pata. Do you know Patapon?”

“Patapon?”

“Pata Pata Pata—Pon! Viva—ah—!!”

As expected, he didn’t understand. Of course, there’s no way a third-party rhythm game’s signature chant would be programmed into an NPC. Bodangbo blinked his large eyes.

“What does that mean?”

“It’s a shortened version. Like a nickname. Just like how I shortened your name to Bodangbo.”

“Only human calls my name. Everyone else calls me waterway monster.”

“Still? Ah, now that I think about it, those must be new guys who appeared over time. I’ll take care of them soon.”

“It’s fine. I won’t have business with them unless I’m trading anyway. Bodangbo is strong now.”

Well, he’s certainly stronger than the average NPCs in the city. He’s a named character, and I raised his affection level quite a bit through grinding.

Bodangbo is a character you can encounter under specific conditions during Thief Guild quests. Perhaps because I personally founded the guild, I met him a bit later than in previous playthroughs.

It’s an event where you steal something from a noble’s mansion, with the target on the highest floor. However, if you deliberately descend to the very bottom, you’ll find him captured, sold as a rare talking goblin and confined in a cage.

Taking the goblin with you significantly increases the game’s difficulty.

This quest typically occurs early on when character stats are very low. You have to protect and escort a goblin who is utterly useless beyond speaking, all while trying to complete the ongoing quest. Furthermore, killing is not allowed during the quest. In the early stages, Bodangbo loses his mind and goes berserk if he sees blood.

“So, is Human Patapon now?”

“Just call me Pata. ‘Pon’ sounds a bit too cute.”

“Pata! Pata! Sounds like a bread name!”

“Yeah. It’ll be plump, right?”

“Pata’s chest is already plump!”

“It is.”

It seems his language skills haven’t improved at all since I left to hunt demons. Of course, it’s better than at first; back then, he could only string together simple words. The lore states that he diligently learns human speech as his affection level rises.

For an early-game named character, his performance is quite respectable. He’s one of the few who can reach max level, so if you raise him well, he can even take down dragons solo.

Despite this, I suspect his unpopularity stems from his appearance. No matter how well you dress him or care for him, he’s still a goblin. Though he’s slightly taller and less grotesque than other goblins.

“Wait a minute. You had a proper name, didn’t you? You told us to call you Sir Haut.”

“My name has always been proper. What are you talking about? I only specifically gave you a name you could recognize because you couldn’t understand my real one.”

“So, can we call you Pata too?”

“No. You can’t. That’s only for my Bodangbo.”

Chaka Chaka Pata Pon! I cut Jack off sharply.

Occasionally, if a name was too long, there was a feature where NPCs would shorten it themselves. However, even that only happened if their affection level was high enough.

“Your affection levels for me are low anyway, so it won’t even register. Why are you talking as if it would? It’s more annoying.”

Bodangbo looks adorable after all this time. I affectionately stroked his head and doted on him to my heart’s content. Nocturne, wearing a peculiar expression, pointed a finger and asked.

“How does that goblin… speak?”

“He could say simple words even at first. Though I did make him study more by teaching him magic.”

“You teach magic to monsters?”

“Haven’t you ever seen a goblin shaman or a primitive priest? Goblins actually have surprisingly good intelligence. And our Bodangbo is a truly peerless genius. His intelligence stat is probably three times higher than yours, you know?”

I could tell because he was set as a companion. While I couldn’t directly view Nocturne’s stat window, I could get a general sense of it. Given his low mana attunement, his intelligence probably isn’t very high either.

No, his stats themselves likely aren’t very good at all. Judging by his miniscule HP bar from before, he’s probably only slightly better than a generic NPC.

“First, let’s go out and get rooms. You guys need to visit the temple, and I’m going on a date with my Bodangbo.”

“Th-that Pata… no, Sir Haut. With that goblin…”

“Bodangbo.”

At my correction, Faust glanced around nervously before fumbling to correct himself.

“Is it truly alright for you to go out with that Bodangbo fellow?”

“Why wouldn’t it be? I don’t manage general NPC affection, so it doesn’t matter.”

One of the particular difficulties in raising Bodangbo was the trouble of walking around town with him. More precisely, accompanying him wasn’t an issue in itself, but simply seeing him caused NPC affection to plummet into the negatives.

Standard humanoid NPCs would immediately switch to a state of alert the moment they saw Bodangbo.

During a normal playthrough, this would be inconvenient, as you’d need to progress quests and interact with NPCs. However, I’ve already finished all my tasks, so it doesn’t bother me at all; I don’t need to accept any generic NPC side quests.

But it was Bodangbo who shook his head at my words.

“Pata, I cannot go out now.”

“Huh? Why? Is there a bounty on you? I’ll pay it.”

“No. Humans attack me. Bodangbo cannot go out now. More than 300 years.”

What is he talking about now? Bodangbo isn’t just any character; he holds a rather important position in the evil-aligned job classes, despite appearances. He’s a fence and connected to major quests.

He’s a named NPC, for crying out loud. Even if he evokes disgust, he shouldn’t be attacked without reason, right?

“That’s strange. You’re friendly with me. Yet they attack you?”

“Pata was gone too long. Humans all died. No one remembers.”

There it was again. That strange feeling. A peculiar sense of incongruity.

It’s common for generic NPCs to die, so memories for interaction could fade over time. However, they should still recognize the player’s very existence. After all, I am the player.

But they don’t recognize my existence at all? To the point where Bodangbo can’t even go outside?

Bodangbo understands human language and customs, but he’s still a monster. Theoretically, he could live his entire life without seeing the sun. But….

“You liked the bakery at the crossroads, didn’t you? You haven’t been able to go there this whole time?”

“I told the humans I trade with to bring me bread instead of payment. It’s still tasty.”

“My goodness! That means you haven’t been able to eat your favorite ice cream waffle in ages!”

“Ice cream melts. Underground waterway is hotter than expected.”

“This won’t do. We’re going out today.”

Was there even a motion like this? Bodangbo was hesitating, which was unlike him.

“Pata is here, so can I go out now?”

“If anyone says anything, I’ll take care of them later.”

“That’s fine. Bodangbo is strong.”

“Destroying a city is too much, isn’t it? I’ll just wipe them all out and reset it for you.”

At my words, the three others, excluding Bodangbo, gasped with strange sounds and stared at me in horror. What’s wrong with them now?

“Mr. Haut! I think you just said something utterly outrageous?!”

“Hmm? I didn’t say anything particularly grand, did I? Did I accidentally utter some forbidden keyword?”

“Y-you just said ‘city destruction’…”

“That? What about it?”

I don’t know why, but if their affection for Bodangbo has dropped into the negatives, wouldn’t it be better to just wipe them all out and reset it, rather than painstakingly grinding affection to restore it?

It would be a bit troublesome since I’d have to use assassination to maintain my good alignment, but still.

“I won’t kill you guys, don’t worry. More importantly, isn’t our Bodangbo cute?”

“First of all, I truly don’t understand your definition of ‘cute’! And can you really say such outrageous things so calmly? Logically, who wouldn’t attack a monster that appears in the city?!”

“Why are you speaking like that? Bodangbo is a monster, but he’s Bodangbo. He hasn’t lived here for just a day or two; it’s been 700 to 800 game years! Shouldn’t he be recognized by now? That’s only natural, isn’t it?”

“I don’t know how long monsters live, but unless it’s a dragon, how could it live that long?!”

“You’re the one who doesn’t know anything. Unless they’re an Ancient Dragon capable of true Draconic, dragons only live for about 200-300 years.”

Not all dragons are the same. Though it’s part of the lore, dragons classified as mere monsters are mostly mindless creatures incapable of using language. Talking NPC dragons capable of giving quests are, by lore, at least a thousand years old.

I stared intently at the squawking Jack.

“That’s strange. Bodangbo hasn’t done anything, so why are they so hostile?”

Given my good alignment, the disgust reduction rate should at least be minimal, but it’s odd. I don’t understand why they’re so vehemently rejecting him. This situation makes little sense to me.