The Price of Hotpot

No sooner had I taken a sip of cola than a sharp, twisting pain seized my abdomen. Simultaneously, several warm, slightly hot, and wet currents gushed uncontrollably from my lower body.

“…”

My eyes widened in alarm.

Wet? Could it be?

If this had leaked out while I was eating hotpot with my brother, my career as an older sister would surely be over.

In any case, I had to make a louder noise to cover the sound of the liquid.

“Puriri puriri puriri purirururururu!”

Ling Chen stared at me, utterly bewildered, as I began to sing a strange tune. Then, realizing something, he sniffed the air.

Amidst the spicy aroma of the chili, a faint metallic scent, like rust, seemed to linger.

“As I thought…”

Ling Chen sighed, grabbed his phone, pushed open the door, and rushed out.

A sudden flicker of panic shot through my eyes, and my heart abruptly accelerated.

No way!

I’d been discovered!

On the verge of tears, I bit my lip and choked out, “Ling Chen, where are you going?”

“Idiot Sister! You’ve caused a huge mess! Remember, don’t panic. I’ll be right back.”

Ling Chen’s anxious demeanor left me perplexed. Wasn’t the restroom right here in the house? Did he have some other urgent matter?

Never mind. With no one else around, I decided to pull down my pants and assess the situation.

As I lowered my sweatpants, the first thing I saw was blood dripping down my thigh. The overwhelming smell of it nearly sent me into a full-blown panic.

The amount of blood was excessive.

This was far more despair-inducing than even incontinence!

Though I was a straight man in my soul, I knew women had menstrual periods, which signified their bodies reaching maturity.

In other words, my worst fear had come true.

I possessed normal fertility, meaning I could become a mother…

“…”

This mix of grief and indignation, if expressed through the lyrics of Akira Fuse’s song, “You Are More Beautiful Than Roses,” would simply be:

“I’ve changed, ahhhhhhhhhh!”

I slowly sank back into my seat, the intense pain making it impossible to move, leaving me without the strength to even reach the restroom.

It was at this moment that I truly realized the immense challenge of becoming a woman was just beginning.

During every physical education class, a group of girls would always take leave due to their periods, sometimes even several times a month. I used to grumble, wondering if they wouldn’t bleed out if they took so many days off.

Now, having finally experienced this pain, I would never again question whether those girls were merely trying to shirk their duties.

Especially after combining hotpot with my period, I felt my consciousness blurring from the agony.

The sensation was akin to having an alien embryo injected by a facehugger, with the alien then growing and writhing inside me. It was both nauseating and bizarre, making me wish I could stab myself in the stomach and end it all—two lives at once.

Wah wah wah wah, Ling Chen, where the hell are you? I’m dying!

You bastard!

Damn you, heavens!

Why are you doing this to me?

Can anyone help me?

The hotpot, oblivious to human suffering, merely steamed, its warmth embracing all ingredients. Sadness, pain, happiness, joy—all seemed temporarily forgotten in the face of delicious food.

Fine, I’ll die a well-fed ghost.

I chugged a mouthful of icy cola, then, enduring the pain, forced down the uneaten beef Ling Chen had left in the dipping sauce.

Such tender beef was too expensive to waste.

After all, what was lonelier than eating hotpot alone was eating hotpot alone without money.

Pain gradually numbs a person, just as an old woman whose son had died could only soothe her hollow heart, filled with despair, by thinking, ‘There’s salt in the cabbage soup.’

As I ate, my heart grew peaceful and content. I felt neither joy nor sorrow at external events or my own plight, as if I had become one with the hotpot.

My soul detached from my suffering body, drifting through the steam of the hotpot, where I witnessed the myriad states of human existence within the mist.

Within the steaming mist of the freshly boiled tender beef floated the unspoken joys and sorrows, partings and reunions, of mechanized modern farming, concealing the tragic and brief life of a calf just separated from its mother.

When chewing the tripe, closing your eyes, you’d feel an upside-down sensation amidst the throbbing pain, like a pilot overloaded in the azure sky, spinning uncontrollably, plunging an out-of-control plane into an ocean of soy products.

The silky smoothness of the tofu would fill you with immense delight, as if you had slid all the way from the Heavenly Mountains of the Western Regions in the Han Dynasty two thousand years ago to modern-day Xinjiang, experiencing a long journey displaced in time.

On the scale of time, all pain and lamentation were but ripples on a long river.

A cup of cola for a joyous reunion; how many ancient and modern affairs are merely fodder for laughter.

“Oh, Ling Chen, you’re back!”

I turned my head, one hand clutching my abdomen, the other holding chopsticks, and forced a strained smile through tear-filled eyes at the sweating Ling Chen.

“Sister, you’re still eating hotpot?”

The plastic bag in Ling Chen’s hand contained sanitary pads and painkillers. He glanced at the blood-soaked floor, then angrily walked over to me, rolling up the newspaper he’d brought and tapping it against my head.

“Idiot! How can you still be in the mood for hotpot in this situation?”

“Hey!”

Ling Chen grabbed my hand and dragged me towards the restroom.

“Sister is simply too foolish to reason with.”

“S-slow down, the blood is still leaking… W-wah, it hurts so much…”

“I’m sorry…”

After navigating a scene as chaotic as a car crash, I finally learned how to use a sanitary pad. The house, however, was a disaster, and Ling Chen had to spend a good half-day cleaning it up.

Ling Chen tucked me into bed, placing brown sugar water and painkillers on the nightstand.

Though still upset, Ling Chen spoke with a remorseful tone, “This time, I went too far. I only meant to teach Sister a small lesson, but I never expected it to lead to such severe consequences.”

Weakly, I asked, “Why didn’t you tell me beforehand?”

“How many times did Sister interrupt my warnings today? Every time I told Sister not to eat spicy or cold foods, Sister would cut me off, saying, ‘I already know your weakness, surrender is invalid,’ ‘The more you fear now, the more excited I become,’ or ‘Wryyyyyyyyyyy!'”

Shamefully, I buried myself under the covers. Where did I get such confidence? I’d initially planned to blame Ling Chen, but now, having brought this upon myself, wasn’t I just a comical clown?

“Don’t say another word. Right now, I wish I could kill my past self. I’m just a fool who brought this upon myself!”

Ling Chen offered comfort, “After all, Sister hasn’t experienced any of this before. A burnt child dreads the fire; with experience, such situations won’t happen again.”

“There’s a next time? When will this suffering end? Forget it, Ling Chen, you live for me. Help me take care of Mom and Dad. Just leave me here to rot. What’s the point of me living anymore?”

“This Sister is truly pathetic. She gets self-pitying after just a few words. Her temper is terrible.”

I clutched the quilt tightly, wrapping myself up, and resignedly declared, “I’m just an idiot who only throws tantrums at family, who loves to shirk responsibility, always thinking I’m the victim. Why do you still cling to a good-for-nothing like me? I just want to be insignificant, yet someone always wants to save me, even though throwing me into the trash would be the best choice.”

In the darkness, I couldn’t see Ling Chen’s expression, only hear his helpless voice: “Sister, you should calm down. At this moment, I truly have no way to comfort you.”

Ling Chen didn’t seem to leave, but I hid under the covers, playing on my phone, not wanting to deal with this rotten brother who had caused me so much trouble.

Although I felt awful, scrolling through the messages the Goddess had sent me before warmed my heart.

Ling Chen’s breathing was clearly audible. Several times he seemed on the verge of saying something, only to hesitate.

After a long while, Ling Chen slowly spoke, “Sister, do you know why, despite being omniscient and omnipotent, I don’t directly solve your problems with my abilities?”

Even though I was hidden under the covers, I still pricked up my ears, listening intently.

Yes, why indeed?

Ling Chen should be a pragmatist like me. Rather than taking on the hellish task of changing my personality, why didn’t he just brainwash me?

“Sister, I appeared because you called for my help.”