The Path of Agony and a Sudden Rescue

Su Mo held Zhang Jingmeng at the entrance of the Zhang residence, her expression serene amidst the surrounding lamplight. Yet, as she stroked Jingmeng’s head, a flicker of resolve glinted in her eyes.

“Fairy Sister, the Deity Invocation Festival is tomorrow. Will you come shopping with me?” Jingmeng asked, her gaze filled with anticipation.

Su Mo glanced back at Xu Qingzhu, then nodded decisively.

“Yes, I’ll go with you tomorrow.”

Children often slept early, and for no apparent reason, Jingmeng began to yawn with weariness the moment they stepped into the Zhang residence.

After instructing the wet nurse to carry her away, Su Mo let out a long sigh, her gaze drifting towards the evening lanterns scattered across the garden.

“Is playing with Jingmeng that stressful?” Xu Qingzhu remarked unexpectedly, his eyes also fixed ahead.

Su Mo patted her cheek, then closed her eyes.

“No, it’s just that there are so many things to do in the future, one after another, and I don’t know if I can accomplish them all,” she mumbled drowsily.

“If you want to do it, you’ll definitely succeed.” Xu Qingzhu’s surprisingly encouraging words genuinely startled her.

However, the concentration of his ‘chicken soup for the soul’ was insufficient; she still felt that true masters of promising the moon and manipulating people were the bosses she knew.

“I hope so,” Su Mo murmured, lowering her gaze to the corridor’s railing as she fell into deep thought.

Xu Qingzhu remained silent, simply accompanying her.

This scene, this moment, offered a rare sense of ease, even as it stirred memories of the past.

Yet, compared to the boisterousness of her childhood, Su Mo now seemed far too subdued.

‘Subdued? Is it related to the Underworld?’ he couldn’t help but wonder.

After a moment of contemplation, he voiced his question: “What’s the origin of that bell from the apothecary today?”

Leaning forward, bracing herself on the railing, Su Mo gazed at the bright moon hanging over the eaves, appearing far rounder than usual. Her beautiful eyes, illuminated by the lanterns, sparkled like embers, and in a daze, seemed to hold the entire starry sky.

Speaking languidly, as if chatting with a close friend, she casually revealed a hidden story from her past: “It’s from the Underworld, a small gift given to me by the Ghost Gentleman.”

She didn’t mention Maid Lian Huan. It was hard to say if she felt sadness or liberation. Would they ever cross paths again in the remainder of their lives?

Such was the nature of karma: when destiny arrived, they met; when it dissipated, separation became an unavoidable truth.

Su Mo constantly reminded herself to let go.

If she kept dwelling on her past without any means of returning to her original world, it would only lead to a sense of powerlessness.

It was better to be decisive and truly experience this world instead.

This was why she liked to keep mementos; even if they were long separated and out of contact, an accidental glance at these items would cause a memory to quietly surface, carrying a hint of sweetness, like a lingering aftertaste.

‘No one compares to you in my memories, not even your present self,’ she had once written on her computer desktop, a phrase she cherished deeply.

‘…My browsing history wasn’t deleted!’ Her eyes suddenly widened in panic. What liberation? That was a joke!

“Gentleman?” Xu Qingzhu mused, his attention caught by the two words.

Once upon a time, he had considered himself a “gentleman.” Under that pretense, how much had he gained, and how much had he lost?

Yet, watching her inexplicably and foolishly fluster, a smile touched Xu Qingzhu’s lips, and he found himself forgetting many of his troubles.

Seemingly lost in thought, she paused again, finally looking at him helplessly.

She asked Xu Qingzhu, “Xu Qingzhu, is there a way to travel between worlds?”

After observing her intently for a long moment, Xu Qingzhu eventually replied, “It must be the Outer Seas. The immortals and deities reside there, seeking methods to cross between different worlds.”

She blinked, though his answer didn’t directly address her question, its implications were profound.

She nearly blurted out, ‘Who exactly are you?’ but fortunately, she realized that if there truly was an issue, she certainly couldn’t voice it.

‘Then I’ll probe! Who is he, really?!’

“Xu Qingzhu, do you ever think of old acquaintances?” Su Mo asked, pretending to gaze at the moon, but observing him from the corner of her eye.

“Old acquaintances? They’ve all departed,” Xu Qingzhu replied indifferently.

Failing to hit the mark, Su Mo elaborated, “I meant friends of the opposite s*x, those you played with closely as a child.”

It was almost an explicit statement, causing Xu Qingzhu to turn and fix his gaze upon her.

His sensitive spot, his ‘dragon’s scale,’ was likely his childhood sweetheart, Lu Yanling.

“What if I do, and what if I don’t? She has her own path,” Xu Qingzhu asked her, and himself.

Suddenly flustered, Su Mo gripped the railing, stating earnestly, “If you don’t seize the opportunity, how will you know if her path is truly different from yours?”

In that moment, she completely forgot she was merely testing him, trying to ascertain if he was truly Xu Qingzhu.

She feared a specific outcome: that he was indeed different from his portrayal in the book, that he had changed and no longer loved his childhood sweetheart.

In such a scenario, how was she supposed to push him away and have another woman keep him tethered?

‘Why am I thinking so much about this? What an idiot,’ she thought, wanting to scold herself.

It was clearly that pervert’s own business, yet she feared that after she ran off, Xu Qingzhu wouldn’t be able to find a wife.

She wanted to help him pick one out in advance, with an insistence that she had to be completely satisfied with the choice. “Lu Yanling, since he likes her so much, she must be the best candidate,” Su Mo had always believed.

But now, he was giving up!

Countless romantic ‘chicken soup’ maxims flooded her mind, playing on a loop. Su Mo was determined to rectify his problem, even if it killed her.

‘Could it be that he likes me, and that’s why he’s giving up… Ugh!’ She almost slapped herself.

Experience proved that ‘chicken soup’ was poisonous, especially when her brain was ‘marinating’ in it. She was practically becoming a love-struck fool; it was terrifying.

“Impossible. This path of mine, I can only walk it myself… Do you know something?” Xu Qingzhu’s words trailed off midway as he suddenly fixed his gaze upon her.

His slightly stirring dark hair seemed to exert a pressure, revealing a hint of killing intent directed at Su Mo.

Stunned into silence, Su Mo stared at him with wide, beautiful eyes. Her mouth agape in disbelief, she wanted to curse him, yet felt too wronged to speak.

She felt her intentions were good; if he had a chance to find his true love, why should he settle for her?

Su Mo’s life principle was simple: absolutely no compromises!

Perhaps it seemed childish in others’ eyes, but this was simply how she was. Why should she let others change her?

Closing his eyes, Xu Qingzhu took a few deep breaths, then stated indifferently, “Never mention this matter again, or do not blame me for being ruthless.”

“Mhm,” Su Mo murmured, lowering her small head before turning and walking away.

Left behind, Xu Qingzhu stared at the empty spot where Su Mo had stood, feeling an inexplicable irritation.

After a long silence, he felt a strange sense of confusion and began to follow Su Mo.

****

“Clang.” She gently closed the door, then gazed at the flower petals swaying in the breeze within the round tub. Clutching her chest, she breathed heavily.

Her conversation with Xu Qingzhu was initially meant to alleviate some of her worries.

Ultimately, however, it had ended unhappily, with them parting on bad terms. “I’ve secretly taken quite a few medicinal herbs; it should be enough…” Su Mo muttered, gently unfastening her silken robe.

Her falling dress formed a pile, covering her jade-like feet before she nudged it aside.

She lightly lowered herself into the water, gazing at the Xuezi floating on the surface before her chest, then arranged the pre-prepared medicinal herbs nearby.

‘You’re too weak, Su Mo. You must hold on as long as possible, the longer, the better.’ Gritting her teeth, Su Mo consumed the medicinal herbs one by one, then closed her eyes, awaiting their effects.

The Nine-Tailed Fox Love Sutra contained a profound path to enlightenment, but it also implied terrifying difficulty in cultivation. True enlightenment could only be achieved through unbearable agony.

This was one of the core tenets of the Path of Suffering, succinctly stated and chillingly clear.

If the pain didn’t kill you, it would simply torment you to the brink of death.

“Ugh…” A burning sensation surged in her abdomen, rapidly escalating into a twisting agony, as if her insides were being torn by knives.

She clenched the edge of the wooden tub, her slender fingers turning crimson, and bit down on a cloth towel as cold sweat beaded on her forehead.

The water was already warm, but moments later, Su Mo became even hotter than the bath itself.

The surface of the water sizzled and bubbled, releasing a thick mist that enveloped the entire room in a white haze.

The whole room was shrouded in a dense white fog.

Biting down on the towel, she was in too much pain to even open her eyes. When she forced them into a narrow slit, the swirling white mist before her seemed like paradise.

Yet, even amidst this torment, she silently recited the Nine-Tailed Fox Love Sutra, hoping to grasp its initial tenets.

But her mind was so muddled with pain that the verses she had memorized for days now fragmented, stuck midway through.

“After pain gives rise to desire… what exactly… comes next…” Su Mo didn’t need to rack her brain; the agony had already done the ‘racking’ for her.

“Splash…” Unable to bear it any longer, she gradually slipped beneath the water.

The self-rescue device she had set up beforehand had been dislodged and jammed by her thrashing.

After gulping down several mouthfuls of water, she understood in that moment between life and death that she had no protection left, facing true oblivion…

Her mind suddenly cleared, like a final flicker of life, and she thrashed towards the surface.

In that instant, it was as if she had been stripped of her pain, becoming an observer of her own uncontrollable body writhing in agony.

‘Could it be… I’m about to comprehend it?’ A flash of insight struck her, and she seized upon the idea.

“Splash!!” A large hand suddenly seized her, pulling her out of the water.

Soaked and glistening, she fell into his arms. Su Mo blinked, recognized Xu Qingzhu, and instantly erupted in fury.

“You scoundrel! What have you done?! Waaah!” Disregarding her lack of clothes, she thrashed wildly, pounding against his chest with all her might.

He silently watched her anguish, and the tears that fell onto the corner of his lips tasted surprisingly bitter.

Lowering his gaze, a flicker of apology stirred within him for the very first time.

“I’m sorry…”