The Price of Desire and Memory’s Return

“Master? Aren’t we being a little too overindulgent?” Dan Fusheng sat atop the mountain, a sugar pastry in his hand. Before him, within True Monarch You Qing’s cloud mirror, a romantic drama of immortals and mortals unfolded.

They were observing an ordinary theater stage using an arcane art, with True Monarch You Qing expending his spiritual energy merely for this trivial amusement.

“Do you enjoy watching it?” True Monarch You Qing did not answer his question, but instead posed one of his own.

“I do,” Dan Fusheng affirmed with a nod. “But all the other sectmates are diligently cultivating. Only we are being unconventional.”

“Don’t mind them; if you like it, that’s all that matters.” True Monarch You Qing leaned against a giant rock, his robes hanging loosely as if he had just woken up.

The ‘immortal’ in the cloud mirror was clearly modeled after True Monarch You Qing himself, exuding righteousness and with eyes like burning torches. With a mere wave of his hand, he could slay thousands of malevolent specters.

“My dear disciple, at your age, there’s no need for asceticism yet.” True Monarch You Qing draped an arm over Dan Fusheng’s shoulder. “While abstinence is indeed a necessary path for cultivation, we must also consider the method.”

“If one could reach true enlightenment by simply being devoid of all desires, then our most powerful state should have been in the womb.” True Monarch You Qing took the sugar pastry from Dan Fusheng’s hand, then promptly put it back into Dan Fusheng’s mouth. “Desire is a fascinating thing.”

“Only by tasting sweetness can you truly understand what bitterness is. You might even find bitterness within excessive sweetness.” True Monarch You Qing explained, “If I, your Master, tell you that ‘too much sweetness turns bitter, so sweetness is not a good thing,’ would you truly understand it?”

Young Dan Fusheng, still gnawing on the pastry, shook his head.

“Abstinence isn’t a blunt instrument; it’s about balance and moderation.” True Monarch You Qing pinched Dan Fusheng’s cheek. “Disciple, you haven’t reached that stage yet. First, understand what desire truly is. Those cultivators who practice abstinence too early are prone to madness.”

“Why are you two staring at me?” Si Fenglang felt a chill run down his spine under Dan Fusheng’s gaze.

He had no idea why Chen Gui and Dan Fusheng had suddenly come into the barrier, but they said nothing, simply watching him with wide eyes.

“If we stayed outside, your Master wouldn’t have cooperated,” Dan Fusheng shrugged. They had no choice but to enter the barrier to wait. Chen Gui’s own barrier was empty and rather dull, but Dan Fusheng’s barrier still contained a former Crown Prince whom he could tease when bored.

“Master?! You’ve captured my Master!” Si Fenglang shot to his feet in an instant.

Dan Fusheng and Chen Gui both nodded.

“What have you done to him?!” Si Fenglang’s heart pounded wildly.

Just as Chen Gui was about to explain that they hadn’t done anything harmful, Dan Fusheng suddenly placed a minor silencing spell on him. Chen Gui could have easily broken through the spell with a slight struggle, but he chose not to.

Dan Fusheng smiled and said, “I sent your Master some clothes.”

“My Master doesn’t lack clothes,” Si Fenglang remained wary.

“He doesn’t lack clothes, but he absolutely doesn’t have the kind I sent.” Dan Fusheng pulled out a half-finished sequined mini-skirt.

At first, Si Fenglang couldn’t discern what the sparkling fabric was. Once he understood, he erupted in fury. “Dan Fusheng! I’ll kill you!!”

“I’m curious about something,” Dan Fusheng interrupted his outburst. “Do you still like me now?”

After enduring so much torment, could Si Fenglang possibly still harbor feelings for him?

“How could I?! Dan Fusheng! I wish I could kill you with my own hands!” Si Fenglang yelled.

“Your ears are red.” Dan Fusheng pointed at his face.

“He still likes him, huh…” Chen Gui also noticed it, but he quietly ‘tsk’ed’ after speaking.

[Is he a masochist?] the Inner Demon scorned. [He still likes him even after being killed? What on earth does he even like?!]

Dan Fusheng continued to ask, “So, am I the first person you’ve ever liked?”

Si Fenglang remained silent.

Dan Fusheng understood. “He didn’t directly deny it. It seems I am.”

“What are you trying to do now?” Si Fenglang was practically developing a psychological complex because of Dan Fusheng.

“Don’t be so defensive; I just want to know what’s wrong with you.” Dan Fusheng also found Si Fenglang quite peculiar, as from the Prince’s perspective, Dan Fusheng had done very few good deeds.

Chen Gui quietly added from the side, “I’ve said it before: it’s the yearning caused by the contrast in personalities.”

Dan Fusheng nodded, then asked Chen Gui, “Junior Brother, do you suppress your desires?”

“It’s not suppression, but control.” Chen Gui was not enlightened by True Monarch You Qing; he was most heavily influenced by his parents and followed a different path. He did not abstain from desire, but he rigorously controlled it.

Dan Fusheng let out a meaningful “Oh,” then sighed. “You are the most miserable, just a tool.”

Si Fenglang was puzzled by the comment. However, Dan Fusheng changed the subject again. “Your Junior Brother is going to die, you know.”

Si Chen’s condition would continue to worsen. If Dan Fusheng did anything to help, it would only cause more problems for his soul.

Si Fenglang did not trust Dan Fusheng, yet his feelings were unexpectedly “deep.”

“I preserved Si Chen’s soul, but now there’s a major problem with its fusion with his current body.” Dan Fusheng rested his chin in his hand, looking at Si Fenglang. “I made a mistake, didn’t I?”

Si Fenglang was dumbfounded. He remained silent for a long time.

“Did I make a mistake?” Dan Fusheng pressed on.

Si Fenglang still didn’t utter a sound.

“It seems you don’t think it’s my fault. How strange.” Dan Fusheng sighed. “The true Crown Prince would have thought me reckless and impulsive. You… it seems you are still influenced by the memories of this life. You’ve become more indecisive. As a tool, you are even less qualified,” Dan Fusheng said, spreading his hands.

Chen Gui was puzzled. “What do you want to know?”

“I want to know how the Crown Prince himself views it.” Dan Fusheng extended a hand towards Si Fenglang. “If you believe you’ve made no mistake, how about I let you recall all your memories?”

Anyway, Si Chen was almost finished, and there was no need for this family of three to continue playing house. Si Fenglang’s lips trembled slightly.

“Are you afraid? Do you know my past warning to you was true, but you were unwilling to believe it?” Dan Fusheng smiled as he withdrew his hand.

“Give me back my memories,” Si Fenglang spoke.

Dan Fusheng raised an eyebrow, a little surprised.

Si Fenglang took a deep breath. “Whether it’s right or wrong, your words don’t count.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m sure. Give me back my memories!” Right or wrong, he should be the one to judge.

“Alright.” Dan Fusheng no longer obstructed him.

Chen Gui grabbed Dan Fusheng’s wrist. “What are you doing?”

“Junior Brother, playing with them was interesting, but I’ve grown tired of it.” Dan Fusheng waved his hand. “Besides, why should he forget?”

Chen Gui was somewhat worried. “Have you developed an Inner Demon?”

“Of course not!” Dan Fusheng seemed surprised. “Why would you think that? It’s been ages since I last developed one.”

Dan Fusheng placed his hand on Si Fenglang’s head. Wisps of white mist seeped from his fingertips, forming a cloud mirror above the Prince’s head. Si Fenglang let out a muffled groan. The cloud mirror displayed scenes from his memories.

The memories flashed by rapidly, akin to a video played at a hundred times speed. However, Dan Fusheng and Chen Gui could see them clearly.

After seeing them, Chen Gui’s Inner Demon exploded in fury.

[This bastard actually wants to drag Senior Brother back from the dead?! He wants to imprison Senior Brother?!] the Inner Demon shrieked. [I’ll kill this scoundrel!! What does he want to do to Senior Brother?! No, I can’t watch this!]

Chen Gui asked his Inner Demon: [Don’t you also want to imprison the Demon Lord?]

[Can that be the same?! I want to imprison him so he can properly be my Senior Brother! I’m not that depraved!]

Fortunately, the fragments of affection occupied a relatively small portion of Si Fenglang’s memories. What the Prince truly cared about was never Dan Fusheng. Even his so-called deep-seated hatred, which he claimed he couldn’t let go of, was not the most important thing in his life.

After Si Fenglang was chosen as the Crown Prince of the Yu Kingdom, the enemies who killed his parents had already died. His revenge had been exacted long ago, but he still hated the demon race. Innumerable demons were slain by his blade. He believed he killed for those he cared about. He believed demons should not be compared to humans.

The most significant parts of Si Fenglang’s memories were his Master and his Imperial Younger Brother. His Master saved him, and he raised Si Chen. Si Fenglang indulged Si Chen, indulging his treasonous ideas and his outrageous actions.

As the Crown Prince and heir, desire was supposed to have nothing to do with him, yet as a human, he was naturally prone to craving. He could not crave; he could only suppress. His indulgence towards Si Chen also contained a measure of his own selfishness. Si Chen freely pursued his desires, and each time Si Chen was hurt by desire, Si Fenglang would tell himself that his self-restraint was correct.

From the moment he began cultivating, unless in specific circumstances, Si Fenglang would not consume grains. He did not use incense, did not listen to music, did not seek fine food, and did not interact excessively with his Master or brother. He only did what he “ought” to do.

Occasionally, when hosting guests, drinking tea was considered a form of indulgence. Dan Fusheng liked to drink alcohol. After accompanying Dan Fusheng for drinks, Si Fenglang would then practice even stricter abstinence. All of this was useful; it was for the common people he protected.

Until Si Fenglang killed Si Chen. Until Si Chen’s death greatly increased Si Fenglang’s cultivation.

Everything Si Fenglang had firmly believed in collapsed. Just as Dan Fusheng said, cultivation techniques do not deceive. It turned out that those he had killed in the past were also “common people” in the eyes of the Dao. It turned out he had always been immersed in “desire,” believing himself to be an extraordinary savior—that the ordinary people behind him lived because of him.

He had always believed he was acting on behalf of Heaven, but Heaven apparently didn’t think he was doing anything remarkable. Those he killed, in Heaven’s definition, were simply “people.” He had killed thousands in the name of justice.

The images in the cloud mirror dissipated. Chen Gui knew that Si Fenglang went mad afterward, and Dan Fusheng had taken the opportunity to kill him back then.

Si Fenglang stood frozen, his hair beginning to turn white, just like Si Chen’s.

“Have you gone mad?” Dan Fusheng asked him.

Si Fenglang took a long time to respond, his voice hoarse: “Almost.”

“Is there still a way to save Xiao Chen?” Si Fenglang looked up at Dan Fusheng, his eyes no longer holding sharp wariness, only a plea. “That child… can he still be saved?”

Chen Gui watched from the side, a strange tightness in his chest. Dan Fusheng was not surprised at all.

Why? Because he knew Si Fenglang’s thoughts? Or did he simply understand a “Senior Brother’s” thoughts?