I’ll Come Clean—I’m the Tech Guy (Part 1)

The clever and adorable Aimira was secretly pleased with herself.

Being as intelligent as she was, Aimira had immediately realized that the notion of ‘Corvus being a gay man with peculiar tastes’ was merely a delightful misunderstanding. Yet, she feigned intense anger with her proud acting skills, intending to coax him into doing something she had long anticipated.

Like now—

“Hmm, ‘Destiny Fantasy 14,’ is it? I’ve vaguely heard of it, mostly from watching streamers play. I don’t have an account myself, though.”

Kos opened his computer—a second-hand Shadow Elf—and downloaded the client for this incredibly popular online game among humans. He selected the ‘semi-immersion’ mode, adapted for traditional devices, and began the character creation process. Aimira, brimming with excitement, leaned in close to watch intently.

She had, in truth, always been fascinated by online games.

Having grown up in an environment almost completely cut off from technology, she understood little of even demonic technology, let alone human advancements.

Playing a game with her idol? How wonderful!

But she couldn’t show her eagerness. The clever and adorable Aimira was a lady of refined grace, unable to lift anything heavier than chopsticks. Her grand forbidden spell, the ‘Radiant Starry Nether Lord’s Lament,’ was meant for charming, not for obliterating nations!

“So, shall we begin?”

“Let’s begin, then~”

“Character creation… Hmm… I suppose a female character it is.”

“Why choose a female gender? You’re clearly male.”

“When a normal male player plays a third-person game, do they prefer to stare at a man’s backside or a woman’s backside?”

“…A woman’s backside.”

“There you have it.”

Aimira was speechless.

“Class… I’ll just pick a random one… Ah, I rolled ‘Web Surfer’.”

“Let me see… ‘Summons a Data Storm to deal mid-range damage to enemies, dodges enemy attacks on a surfboard, enhances allies’ status with Data Encoding, restores allies’ health with a Data Wave, equips cloth/leather armor, usable weapons include: Network Surfboard, Decoding Fan, Cheerleader Pom-poms, Electric Guitar, Hunting Horn, and Hanoi’s Power’… It sounds incredibly powerful!”

“Indeed, so versatile, it must be formidable… Alright, character creation successful!”

“Hooray!”

At this moment, the two online game novices had yet to grasp the truth that ‘jack-of-all-trades characters often become useless.’

“And the character name?”

“Let’s randomize one… Let me see… ‘I Am Your Brother.’ How about that?”

“That’s perfectly fine. Let’s officially start the game.”

The character loaded.

The initial map loaded.

Entering the map, ‘Titan Star · Shark’s Home.’

“Ah, there it is, there it is.”

Aimira pointed with keen interest at the small figure on the screen. It was an initial character with default appearance and physique, showing no particular features. Its ID, in white, read ‘I Am Your Brother,’ and its title was ‘Fledgling Light Fool.’

Moving the mouse to rotate the view, European-style buildings in the wilderness blended with steampunk-inspired steam engines and pipelines. Overhead, overlapping twin moons and a sky full of stars created an alien aesthetic. Strange, alien-looking spacecraft soared across the horizon, gradually vanishing where earth met sky.

“The game scenes are so realistic now.”

“They truly are.”

“Can we go slay monsters or people now?”

“Wait, there’s a novice tutorial.”

Click – Entering Novice Tutorial – Moving to ‘MHW-style Training Ground’.

The character entered a small map, where numerous harmless wooden dummies and barrels stood before them. Beside them was a cat-like NPC, creating an atmosphere akin to a fairy tale book, filled with elements designed to relax the mind.

[Ding ding ding~ Welcome to your new class, ‘Web Surfer’! You can summon a Data Storm to deal mid-range damage to enemies, dodge enemy attacks on a surfboard—]

Skipping the explanation.

[First, basic attack. Please lock onto a wooden barrel as your target and click the left mouse button—]

“Understood.”

[Next, offensive skill. Please lock onto a wooden dummy as your target, click the skill icon or press the corresponding hotkey, and use ‘Data Wind Blade’—]

“Understood.”

[Next, support skill. Please select yourself or an NPC ally as your target, click the skill icon or press the corresponding hotkey, and use ‘Tide of Inspiration’—]

“Understood.”

[Next, recovery skill. Please select yourself or an NPC ally as your target, click the skill icon or press the corresponding hotkey, and use ‘Coded Healing’—]

“Understood.”

[Next, displacement skill. Please select any location within the skill’s range, click the skill icon or press the corresponding hotkey, and use ‘Web Surfing’—]

“Understood.”

[Ding ding ding ding~~ Novice tutorial completed! You are now an excellent Web Surfer. Wasn’t that simple?]

“It certainly was simple.”

“This game seems quite casual.”

[Now, let’s proceed to the combat segment. Please defeat the monster ‘Extreme · Raging · Behemothskill Jiamdan’!]

“”Huh?””

“My will cannot be defied! This world shall be destroyed! Gaaaaaooooohhhhhhh!!!!”

An enormous monster, three stories tall, with a spiky tail, a ferocious crimson face, heavy armor, twin horns, and four feet on the ground, descended from the sky. Its left eye glowed yellow, its right eye green, and a red skull symbol adorned its name. The game screen violently shook as the BGM shifted from a fairy-tale melody to death metal. The cat-like NPC vanished without a trace.

“…Is this also part of the novice tutorial?” Aimira asked meekly.

“Probably… It might just be a late-game boss model designed to startle you. It looks terrifying, but it’s probably all bark and no bite.”

BOSS · Behemothskill Jiamdan used: Glare!

Player · I Am Your Brother – HP: 3/514, MP: 2/114, Armor Resistance: 0/50. Acquired debuffs: Poisoned/Stunned/Weakened/Burning/Electrocuted/Petrified/Blinded/Armor Broken/Bleeding/Confused.

“Um… Lord Kos, it just glared at us, and we’re almost dead.”

“Oh, this.”

At this moment, the two online game novices had yet to realize that this was a scripted death arranged by the mischievous developers. There was about a one-in-ten-thousand chance of encountering it after the tutorial, guaranteeing certain death ❤

“Speaking of which, is this game bugged or something?”

“I don’t know… Ah, it looks like it’s about to do something?”

BOSS · Behemothskill Jiamdan used: Zodiac Meteor · Flower of Flame (Charging)!

The sky’s hue changed abruptly. Chaotic light tore through the firmament, and a massive, fiercely burning meteor began to form high in the air, brewing world-ending power.

“Um… Lord Kos, what is it doing?”

“It seems to be charging a ultimate skill.”

“The meteor’s about to crash down! What do we do?”

“This, this, this, this is clearly beyond novice tutorial difficulty!”

“Lord Kos, quickly use your invincible Forced Contract to think of a solution!”

“Even if you say so—”

“Didn’t you say you could use it in the game, too?”

“But using it for a novice tutorial would be too strange! So embarrassing!”

“It’s coming down—”

BOSS · Behemothskill Jiamdan used: Zodiac Meteor · Flower of Flame!

The colossal meteor howled as it descended, capable of pulverizing the entire map’s geometry. Yet, at some point, many protruding large boulders had appeared on the ground.

“Right, stones! Maybe we can hide behind a stone to avoid its ultimate skill?”

“That makes sense!”

Player · I Am Your Brother used: Web Surfing!

After using the displacement skill, the character moved at high speed, leaving trails of afterimages, to hide behind a large boulder. Strangely, as the meteor approached the ground, the entire map shook, but it remained as steady as an old dog behind this stone.

“It seems this stone is a mechanic designed for dodging its ultimate skill.”

“Perhaps it’s teaching new players to utilize the environment?”

“Possibly. It’s quite user-friendly, then.”

BOSS · Behemothskill Jiamdan used: Stone Vanishing Technique!

With a ‘pew,’ the large stone I was hiding behind vanished into thin air.

“This is totally the developers’ twisted sense of humor, isn’t it?!”

“The stone is crashing down! Lord Kos—”

“Tsk, fine, I understand!”

I, Kos, was drenched in cold sweat.

After all, I had my pride. Using my abilities for a mere novice tutorial felt incredibly undignified, yet it seemed there were no other options.

Since that was the case—

‘Through forced dominance, intercept the messages sent from the client to the server, then tamper with and resend them…’

The intricate details were actually quite complex. Dominating abstract concepts like software and data was extremely difficult, especially when it had to be done without detection by anti-cheat mechanisms. This demanded meticulous operational skill and a calm demeanor. To summarize it in one sentence:

“Grant me invincibility! This is an order!”

Boom!!!!!!!!!!

The meteor struck.

The world shattered.

Yet, Player · I Am Your Brother remained standing!

“Restore full health, maximize offense and defense, stack all buffs! This is an order!”

Player · I Am Your Brother – HP: 999999999/999999999, MP: 999999999/999999999, Armor Resistance: 999999999/999999999. Acquired buffs: Physical Damage Immunity/Magical Damage Immunity/Super Armor/Speed Boost/Physical Attack Boost/Magical Attack Boost/Status Effect Immunity/Auto HP Regen/Auto MP Regen/No Cooldown.

“And then… attack!”

Player · I Am Your Brother used: Data Wind Blade (Ultra-Ultra-Ultra-Ultra-Advanced Version) – Wind Spirit Moon Shadow!

A colossal emerald wind blade swept forth, carving a massive vacuum zone across the entire screen. As the skill’s visual effects dissipated, Behemothskill Jiamdan had already been cleaved in two.

“One-shot it, huh?”

“It would be strange if it wasn’t one-shotted.”

“By the way, we instantly leveled up to 20.”

“The experience is quite generous…”

Perhaps the developers had a screw loose to create such a hellish scenario… Or was this actually a guaranteed death plot? If so, would I cause a bug by transforming into a tech god and slaying it… Hmm?

Ding~~ Obtained drop: Happy Happy Arena Admission Ticket!

“What’s this?”

“An admission ticket? Ah, could it be this!”

Aimira clapped her hands lightly, seemingly understanding something.

“This might be some kind of special mechanic? If we lost, we’d return to the normal game flow, but defeating it gives a reward, allowing us to skip some processes and accelerate game progression?”

“That makes sense. I’ll try it. Select – Use Immediately –”

…

…

…

…

…

Back then, we didn’t know that DF14’s PvP arena had four tiers: Novice, Junior, Intermediate, and Senior.

This boss, named Behemothskill Jiamdan, was originally the final boss of a quest series that granted eligibility for the Senior Arena. It was known as the ‘gatekeeper between Intermediate and Senior.’ Defeating it dropped the ‘Happy Happy Arena Admission Ticket,’ which allowed entry into the Senior Arena.

The programmer, in a fit of mischievous humor, who had crammed Behemothskill Jiamdan into the novice tutorial, forgot to change this mechanic. If a new player genuinely managed to defeat this boss, they would receive the admission ticket, even if they had never played in the arena before.

How mysterious.

If I had known earlier, I wouldn’t have impulsively used it immediately.