The Weight of the Past

Yang Xuan’s voice was calm, as if he were merely recounting a most ordinary event from the past.

However, Bai Yuan’s entire body suddenly tensed.

Inside the bed curtains, silence descended. The faint, lingering traces of intimacy had completely vanished.

A moment later, realizing the surroundings remained utterly quiet, Bai Yuan slowly lifted her head, despite the stiffness in her neck.

She found the man looking down, his bottomless eyes intently scrutinizing her.

Their gazes met.

“You’ve probably forgotten. That time, seeing you couldn’t catch me, you kicked a blade that flew over and directly pierced… here.”

The man spoke again, pressing his palm onto her hand, forcing her to feel the remarkably faint scar and the calm, powerful heartbeat transmitted through her chest wall.

Bai Yuan found it difficult to breathe.

Memories, so distant they had faded, suddenly surfaced from the deepest recesses of her mind—that was… the second time she had hunted this man.

Yang Xuan was someone she had encountered while pursuing Qian Ying.

The current Second Madam of the Yang family was already a well-known heroine in the Hexi and Longyou provinces, which was why Bai Yuan had targeted her. She pursued Qian Ying relentlessly, but midway, she stumbled upon Yang Xuan. He skillfully used the terrain to successfully rescue Qian Ying, yet this encounter also brought him face-to-face with Bai Yuan.

Such a formidable target, one that even the System marveled at, was not something Bai Yuan could let slip away.

After patiently tracking him and discovering his whereabouts, she did not act rashly. Instead, she painstakingly set a meticulous trap, deploying nearly every force she could muster at the time.

Yet, he still managed to escape.

“Then, I fell into the great river, floating for a day and a night on sheer willpower, until Wanzhao rescued me. Oh, and it was Old Chen who pulled the blade out. Later, over drinks, he told me that the wound was actually less than half an inch from my heart. Had his hand trembled even slightly, my life would have been forfeit.”

Old Chen. Bai Yuan had heard the name, though she had never met him. He was the former head of the Alchemy Hall before Yin Shuang arrived. After Yin Shuang took over, he largely withdrew from gate affairs, dedicating himself to enjoying his grandchildren at home, living a truly carefree life.

Bai Yuan forced her thoughts to wander, to constantly dwell on other matters. Otherwise, she felt she would suffocate.

Even setting aside her later self, who had fallen to the demonic path, how many wrongs had her former self committed for that elusive, so-called Destiny System? How many innocent strangers had she slain?

This man before her was simply the most fortunate among them.

“I lay in bed for three full months. When I finally managed to get up, my heart’s desire was to continue running south, to the Central Plains, so you wouldn’t pursue me anymore. Then—I heard news of you leading your troops south, sweeping through Longyou, and pressing toward Hexi.”

“At that time, Tianhe Gate was also in chaos, everyone busy discussing how to respond. Wanzhao and Uncle Hu couldn’t spare a thought for me, so I walked around the courtyard alone, watching the panicked scene. Suddenly, I felt I couldn’t leave. I had to… do something to help them.”

The man’s voice remained devoid of any fluctuation, simply narrating, as if the one who had narrowly escaped death was not himself, but someone else.

However, Bai Yuan merely felt a chill seep into her bones.

Subconsciously, she reached out and hugged the quilt tightly, trying her best to cover her exposed skin. Then, the events of that period finally surged forth from the long-sealed chambers of her memory.

Fate’s mockery could be so ruthless.

At the peak of her triumph, it was this man who, leading his forces, launched attacks everywhere, leveraging his familiarity with the terrain to constantly raid the Bai family’s grain and military supplies. This provoked her to personally pursue him, costing her considerable time. Not only was it fruitless, but it also delayed the opportunity to consolidate Longyou’s internal affairs with overwhelming force, giving those families a chance to secretly conspire and resist.

Coupled with the covert threats and meddling from major surrounding powers, she was truly overwhelmed during that period. Ultimately, he successfully stalled for time.

Meanwhile, Tianhe Gate seized this precious window to maneuver and accumulate sufficient strength. This man, too, progressively grew stronger through repeated pursuits, eventually… stepping into the Xiantian realm and decisively defeating her.

“Those years were the darkest period of my life. Yet, had it not been for that severe injury and the subsequent relentless pursuits, I fear I would not have achieved what I have today. Looking back, without the pressure you exerted on me, I might not have had the determination to overcome many difficult challenges. So many hurdles in cultivation, reflecting on them now… I was quite lucky to pass through them. If I could do it again, I probably wouldn’t have the courage to try.”

“So, without you, there would be no—me, today.”

The last sentence, spoken slowly, each word carried the weight of a thousand pounds.

Feeling two searing gazes upon her, Bai Yuan could only manage a bitter smile in her heart.

‘So, in the end, was I destined to be merely a stepping stone? Like… those villainous characters in novels from my previous life?’

‘Even losing myself in the process.’

Bai Yuan thought mockingly, then closed her eyes.

“Your concubine does not understand what my husband wishes to say.”

‘Is he boasting? Or perhaps, stating that she was once very important to him?’

‘What is the meaning of this?’

The man did not immediately reply. Instead, he rolled over, pressing his entire body onto Bai Yuan’s.

Bai Yuan still kept her eyes closed, quietly enduring the pressure the man exerted, without the slightest resistance. She could feel him intently watching her, his two profound gazes fixed on her face, his cool breath caressing her neck.

“Your husband wishes to say that some things can only be changed, and different results seen, by diligently working and trying—whether you seek atonement or something else. Know that you are Bai Yuan, the Rakshasa who once suppressed me and was invincible, not some ordinary mortal woman. If you merely continue to wallow in self-pity and self-torment in the back chambers, I will be very disappointed.”

The man spoke thus.

‘Diligently working…?’

The next morning, Bai Yuan stood at the main entrance of Tianhe Gate, looking at the respectfully bowing Hu Hai and the neatly arrayed, utterly disciplined Sharp Gold Guard. Suddenly, the man’s words echoed in her mind.

‘This fellow certainly has a knack for bewitching people and coaxing them into servitude,’ she thought.

Then, she raised her hand and waved it forward.

“Depart.”