I’ll Come Clean—I’m the Tech Guy (Part 2)

In a spacious high-rise apartment, nestled within the upscale Hilton residential area of Starry Night City’s Upper District—

“Nine o’clock… almost nine… it’s nearly time…”

The young woman known as Cyan had completed debugging her full-dive equipment. The game was launched, with only the livestream setup remaining, and one other thing…

[Are you ready, Cyan?]

On the large screen, Chomi was already brimming with anticipation.

“It’s all ready,” Cyan replied, a hint of weariness in her voice. “Though, honestly, I don’t even need to be in the game. You’re more than enough on your own.”

[What are you saying?! Cyan, you are my foundation, my root, my anchor!]

“Yes, yes, yes… I’ve heard that spiel a thousand times already…” she mumbled, clearly unimpressed.

With a casual sweep, she ran her hand through her disheveled long hair. Effortlessly, her petite form slipped into the dive device. She donned the helmet, connected the interface, then cast a weary glance at the bustling horde of online viewers in her stream, letting out a sigh.

Some claimed that maturity was simply doing the things you loathed.

From Cyan’s perspective, that sentiment needed a slight correction.

Perhaps doing what you hated wasn’t maturity at all, but merely the grim reality for outcasts trapped in their shells, left with no other choice.

Two years prior, she could indulge in her whims, pushing every loathed task onto the man she once called her ‘husband.’ But he was gone now, vanished forever, having discarded her like trash and handed her over to Sakuma Ryoji. Her genuine feelings, it seemed, had been utterly misplaced.

And so today, she would continue to prance and perform through a screen, squeezing out her pathetic remaining value, all to entertain the audience on the other side.

She knew, with crushing clarity, that people adored the omnipotent Chomi, not her own timid, submissive self.

“DF14… logging in… selecting… Advanced Arena.”

[Alrighty! Let’s give it our all today, Cyan!]

DF14, Advanced Arena, Map: Desert II—

This classic PvP map, also a designated arena for official DF14 tournaments, was designed to accommodate two teams, totaling forty combatants, in a brutal clash. Its horizontal expanse and vertical structures were meticulously crafted, ensuring every small corner held a surprise.

Red Team, Spawn Point—

Among a glittering array of fully armored characters, one incongruous presence stood out.

It was one of the universally recognized ‘gutter’ classes: the Net Surfer.

The character’s level was 20 (with the current cap at 180), and their arena rank was the initial Silver Tier 1 (with the current cap at Grand Master). Decked in starter gear, devoid of any premium skins or special titles, they were utterly out of place.

At this point, even the two of us gaming idiots realized something was amiss.

“This… this clearly isn’t the arena we’re supposed to be in.”

“Everyone else’s levels seem so high…”

“We must have run into some strange bug, right?”

“Is it too late to quit now…?”

I was just about to fumble through the unfamiliar UI for the exit button when a sudden blast echoed from above. Brilliant fireworks exploded overhead, their light weaving together to form a massive “START.”

“Let’s go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

““““““““Oooohhhhoohhohohohohohohohohohoh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!””””””””

My teammates paid me no mind. The moment the match began, they surged out of the spawn point like a tidal wave, each one looking inexplicably ecstatic. Only I remained rooted to the spot, foolishly swiveling my mouse, utterly bewildered. I… I was completely unfamiliar with this map!

I only knew this map was a revamped version of a classic from an old-generation game called CSGirl, where movement was confined to flat ground for shooting. But DF14 boasted flight capabilities, making its operational space three-dimensional, not two. Moreover, character abilities and equipment effects were exaggerated, transforming the current Desert II map beyond any recognition even by David Johnston.

“Um… Lord Kos? What should we do now…?”

“W-we’ll just move forward for now. I remember the original map had a happy place, I think it was called Mid or something… And please, don’t call me ‘Lord’…”

I stood on a platform. To my left, a moderate slope descended, leading either straight ahead or to a right turn. The right turn should lead to Mid…

“Kos, is there something in the sky?”

“Hmm…? Is it a bird? A plane? Injustice Superman?”

“—It’s an airstrike! Dodge quickly!!!!”

BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

A thirty-meter diameter pillar of light descended from the heavens, pulverizing our Red Team’s spawn point into dust.

The platform, the ramp—all were gone.

One of DF14’s classic PvP tactics was the Opening Strike.

Gunners, Mechanists, and Sky-Eye Hackers, equipped with super-long-range attack capabilities, would max out their attack range, don fully enhanced god-tier gear that boosted range, and stack buffs. Their Tier 3 ultimate abilities—Satellite Cannon, Mech God Descent, or Cyber Shockwave—could then strike directly from their own spawn point to the enemy’s, obliterating nearly every unit within the target area.

Thus, experienced players in high-tier matches were expected to immediately vacate the spawn point at the start of a game.

“—A good habit, my foot! Was this skill balance designed by a monkey?!”

Activating my Net Surfer skill to full speed, I secretly manipulated my surfing velocity using an ability, barely managing to scrape past the opening bombardment!

Yet, before one wave subsided, another rose. Giant transport aircraft soared overhead, dropping hundreds of two-meter-diameter metallic spheres. I initially assumed it was another carpet bombing, but as the spheres hit the ground, they contorted with an odd kuchak-kaka sound, morphing into numerous small robots that looked like a hybrid of an Alien and a Predator… Was this some kind of skill too?

“Kos, be careful, they’re surrounding us.”

“They just look like low-level disruptors…”

Thinking this, I used the skill ‘Summon Data Storm.’ A blue and purple wind propelled my hoverboard, accelerating me through the swarm of lesser bots—

Screech. Enemy target detected.

Beep. Commencing elimination.

One of them opened its jaw, extending a 152mm caliber cannon from its mouth… Wait, 152mm?

BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

A shell thicker than my upper arm roared past my head! The concussive blast alone—just the blast—knocked half my health bar away! The wall behind me crumbled into dust, huge chunks of rock scattering everywhere. One fist-sized stone struck my shoulder—damn it! Only a sliver of health remained!?

If a single robot could inflict such devastating damage, what would happen if they all attacked at once—

All ten robots simultaneously opened their mouths, a true 152mm Cannon Honor Guard. Oh my God, Stalin’s commode—

Another classic DF14 PvP tactic was the Summon Swarm.

Forgemasters, AI Engineers, War Gods, and Special Operations Captains, capable of summoning, would maximize their summon limit, equip fully enhanced god-tier gear boosting their summon capacity, and stack buffs. Their Tier 3 ultimate abilities—Iron Flood, AI Crisis, Hour of Battle, or Ginyu Force—could then cover between one-third and one-half of the entire map.

Thus, experienced players in high-tier matches were expected to regularly clear the field of summoned units.

“—So the skill balance really was designed by a monkey, wasn’t it?! Absolutely!”

“Kos, run—!”

BOOM!!!!

In that critical moment, countless shield-equipped drones descended from the sky, intercepting the volley of 152mm cannons in the nick of time! A max-level character, with Destiny Gundam-esque wings on their back, flew overhead, furiously shouting at me:

“What the hell is wrong with you?! Why are you standing there gawking? Get to the front lines and hold them!!!”

With that, they fired something at the ground. After a shower of lasers, the robots were utterly annihilated, and the helpful ‘big brother’ (ID: Jia Feinao) flew off without a backward glance.

It was then that I finally looked up at the sky. Metal behemoths soared at high altitudes, laser cannons with radii of dozens of meters pierced through the clouds, and artillery shells as large as train engines roared, tearing through everything in their path. Gundams and Autobots synergized, Zaku and Decepticons competed on the same stage. Characters, aided by their various movement and flight skills, streaked through the air like lightning. The light effects from countless skills and buffs made the firmament more dazzling and distorted than Van Gogh’s Starry Night. A low-level nobody like me would instantly be shredded to dust if I dared to get close.

“This… this is the Advanced Arena…?”

Aimira Milala shivered.

“This really isn’t where we belong…”

I shivered too.

And so, I made the correct choice.

I hid behind a stack of crates on the B-point ramp, adjusted my posture to prone, prostrated myself, and silently chanted, ‘They can’t see me, they can’t see me.’

“Kos, um, are you… slacking off?”

“No, I merely conducted a rigorous analysis and identified the optimal tactical position for my current self, which I am now implementing with extreme efficiency.”

“In plain English?”

“I’m freeloading.”

“You’re awfully brazen about it.”

“Ahaha, Sayuri doesn’t know~”

“I peeled a tangerine for you. Want some?”

“You’re supposed to catch the reference… Has no one remembered this meme?”

“Open wide~ Ah—”

“Ah—”

Ah, the tangerine was truly delicious. Even more so when fed by a precocious beauty with alluringly soft underarms.

Red Team vs Blue Team, Remaining: 18:17

“By the way, where did you buy these tangerines? All the fruits here are greenhouse-grown; they seem quite expensive.”

“A little sister who asked me for a love fortune-telling sent them to me, you know.”

Red Team vs Blue Team, Remaining: 14:16

“Haah… a bit thirsty.”

“Want some soy milk?”

Red Team vs Blue Team, Remaining: 13:13

“…And then, the internet café owner…”

“Haha, your workplace sounds quite interesting.”

Red Team vs Blue Team, Remaining: 9:8

“Eh eh? And what about that delinquent girl who asked for a fortune?”

“I fobbed her off with an all-purpose platitude. Easy~”

Red Team vs Blue Team, Remaining: 7:4

“Speaking of which, I found a decent ramen stall the other day. It wouldn’t be a bad idea to go together, if you’d like.”

“Really? Then this humble maiden would be honored to accept.”

Red Team vs Blue Team, Remaining: 6:2

“Say… is the match almost over?”

“It seems so, and we’re definitely winning.”

“Teammates carrying me, what a blast~”

“You’re truly shameless at times…”

“Ehehe.”

Alright, I’ll admit it.

Not only am I a tech wizard, I’m also a total slacker! (proudly)

I smugly glanced at the remaining player count again. Humph, it was 6:1. The opposing team had only one person left. He was doomed to fail!

—That’s what I thought half a minute ago.

But now…

6:1 → 5:1 → 4:1 → 3:1 → 2:1 → 1:1

““……………………Eh?””

What just happened…?