The Weight of Expectations

In a previous encounter at the hospital, Bai Jingjing had the fortune of engaging in an academic exchange with a psychologist. Though their conversation comprised only a few rudimentary remarks, it proved profoundly beneficial to her.

The doctor had explained that opening the heart of an introverted individual, one with strong psychological defenses and a disinclination for communication, was no simple feat.

In such situations, one needed to exercise immense patience, proceeding slowly, gently chipping away at their reserve.

Even after all this time, Bai Jingjing still recalled the doctor’s advice.

Thus, she mustered abundant patience, proactively comforting Xia Chu and urging her to speak only when she felt ready, without any haste.

Yet, to her astonishment, in little over an hour, Xia Chu’s tightly shut heart had already begun to open.

It prompted an involuntary question: was an hour truly considered slow?

Still, it had indeed been ‘chipped open,’ and that much was undeniable.

“Bai Jingjing,” Xia Chu patted the space beside her on the pillow, “Here.”

This was her way of urging Bai Jingjing to hurry over and lie down.

“Alright, alright,” Bai Jingjing, who had been halfway dressed, shed her clothes once more. “I’m coming.”

Bai Jingjing’s actions, however, caused Xia Chu’s cheeks to flush slightly. “You don’t need to take off your clothes. We’re just… going to talk.”

‘It’s a chaste affair, not a passionate one, for there’s simply no energy left.’

Bai Jingjing blinked innocently. “Then I’ll put them back on.”

“It’s too much trouble, constantly putting them on and taking them off,” Xia Chu mumbled softly. “Just leave them.”

At least she had her underwear on, albeit a rather alluring set.

With the room’s lights extinguished, only the sunlight filtering through the curtain’s seam remained, casting a dim yet comforting glow.

Combined with the gentle scent of coconut milk perfuming the air, Xia Chu finally relaxed completely.

“Our family, the Xia family… you must have heard Luo Xuan mention it, it’s a very complicated family.”

Bai Jingjing nodded her small head in affirmation.

‘She hadn’t really paid much attention to the complexities, only remembering that they were noble… no, rather, that they were a wealthy family.’

“Among the previous generation, my father ranked fairly high, being the third son of the Xia family.

However, his business acumen was rather… mediocre.

The company assets he inherited were not substantial, falling short compared to many of his siblings, and he rarely secured any favorable projects.”

Xia Chu began her tale from the previous generation. “He was always resentful, and so was my mother, who married into the family.

More than twenty years ago, to curry favor with the Old Master, my great-grandfather, and knowing the elder wished for a great-granddaughter, they… had me.”

Bai Jingjing paused, her eyes widening in surprise. “Wait, you mean they had you just to please an elder?”

“I only found out later,” Xia Chu sighed mournfully. “But that year, just after I was born, as they were preparing my full moon celebration to invite my great-grandfather, he…”

“He… what?”

“My great-grandfather fell ill and passed away. He was old, and his old illness had relapsed.”

Bai Jingjing stared, dumbfounded. “Oh, my…”

‘This was an outcome she had not anticipated.’

“My father’s plans fell through, and what was meant to be a joyous occasion turned into a funeral.

My grandfather, far stricter than my great-grandfather and always valuing ability above all else, essentially meant my father completely lost his chance,” Xia Chu murmured. “And likewise, I became the most awkward existence.”

Bai Jingjing listened in silence, not daring to utter a sound.

She yearned to embrace Xia Chu’s head once more, to comfort her as she had before, but after a moment’s consideration, she decided against it.

‘Lest she accidentally smother the child.’

“The assets my father inherited were already meager, and he failed to expand the business.

Moreover, with two elder brothers already in the family, there simply weren’t enough family resources to go around,” Xia Chu lowered her eyelids, her gaze seemingly lost in memories. “So, I suppose I was never truly part of this family’s plan.”

“As a child, I could never understand why I barely saw my parents, or why I never experienced their love.

Sometimes, I would ask the Xia family relatives, and each time I did, they would burst into mocking laughter.

They all knew my father’s original intentions, and such a third-rate scheme was something everyone in the Xia family disdained.”

Bai Jingjing frowned. “They don’t mock your father, but they mock you?”

“They mock my father too, always with a sneer whenever they see him.”

“…Oh.”

‘Very well, then.’

Xia Chu, clutching at her chest, her graceful body slightly recoiled. “I was so young then, so naive.

I only felt that no matter what I said, those around me would laugh at me derisively.

Gradually, I grew afraid to speak to people.

Even now, I haven’t fully recovered.”

‘Bai Jingjing thought, ‘You’re not ‘not fully recovered,’ you’re ‘not recovered at all.”

‘Alas, such a cruel fate. A hug it is.’

Bai Jingjing still used her soft chest to cradle Xia Chu’s head, though she shifted slightly upward to avoid suffocating her.

Lost deep in her memories, Xia Chu remained oblivious to the softness pressing against her forehead.

“Later, after my father’s unexpected death, my mother, for once, called me back home and spoke to me at length.

She said that the family had reached its most difficult period, requiring everyone to unite, contribute, and work together.”

Xia Chu’s emotions stirred slightly, her chest rising with her breath. “At the time, I truly believed that we, as a family, could…

I knew the company was struggling, and I wanted to help as much as I could.

Doing business requires communication, and since I wasn’t good at talking to people, I chose to study finance, to deal with numbers.”

She paused for a moment, taking a breath. “During that period, I unexpectedly discovered my talent in this area, becoming increasingly outstanding.

I was genuinely happy and excited then, believing everything was about to improve.

But to my surprise, after I told my mother my ideas, she reacted with extreme shock and anger.”

“Anger?” Bai Jingjing blinked curiously. “She was capable of anger?”

“Yes, she couldn’t believe I ‘dared’ to presume participation in company affairs; she must have felt offended,” Xia Chu chuckled sarcastically. “After making me abandon those notions, she then told me she hoped I would marry into a prominent family, claiming it was the best arrangement for me.”

Bai Jingjing said indignantly, “That’s outrageous. Thankfully, you chose to run away from home.”

‘Fortunately, otherwise you wouldn’t have thought of looking for a temporary girlfriend, Luo Xuan wouldn’t have posted that message in the group, and without seeing that message, I wouldn’t have made that wish, and I wouldn’t have become a girl.’

“Yes, the resentment accumulated over so many years, coupled with that final trigger, caused me to completely erupt.

The very next morning, I ran away from home, barely taking any luggage,” Xia Chu reminisced about those years, filled with emotion. “For the first few days, I even had to borrow Luo Xuan’s underwear.”

Bai Jingjing hummed in acknowledgement, indicating she was listening, but then she suddenly paused, realizing something amiss. “Luo Xuan’s underwear… you could fit into it?”

‘No, there’s no way that would fit.’

Xia Chu’s beautiful face flushed slightly. “At the time, I was about the same size as her. It was only later that I… grew this much.”

Bai Jingjing’s eyes lit up in understanding. “That’s a talent, just like your knack for financial figures; it simply can’t be held back.”

“…”

‘Is that… really how you’d put it?’