When Things Fall Apart

I immediately stiffened and shot back a cold look.

“How many times do I have to tell you it wasn’t me? Why don’t you stop taking your frustrations out on me?”

“What? Who’s taking their frustrations out on who?”

“You’re making wild assumptions and speaking to me however you want because you think I’m an easy target. I’ve seen you—you use honorifics with the other nobles and even lend them your things.”

“So, what, you’re upset that I don’t use honorifics with you? Right, a lowly commoner spoke informally to a precious noble lady, and—”

“Honorifics aren’t the problem. It’s the fact that you change your attitude based on who you’re talking to that’s disgusting.”

My heart was pounding, though in a very different way than when I was with Michael. It’s okay, I can do this. I hadn’t done anything wrong. I had every right to speak my mind.

“I don’t understand you. You can’t say a single word in front of the nobles who actually ignore you, yet you pick fights with me over nothing to vent your anger. If you had used your head for even a second, you would’ve realized that the people who borrowed this notebook are the ones who trashed it. But instead, you immediately blamed me.”

Good, keep going. I delivered the final blow.

“When I lost the top spot to you and came in second, I told myself it was because I didn’t work hard enough or wasn’t smart enough. I took the blame myself. But you? You just assume I’m jealous of you. Could you please stop talking trash without knowing the context? Let’s just live our lives ignoring each other regardless of what people say. That’s best for both of us.”

I was out of breath from spitting out so many words without a pause. But I felt incredibly refreshed. I was right not to hold back. I adjusted my bag and spoke.

“I’m leaving now. I have a lot to study. If you don’t want to lose that top spot to a noble, you’d better get inside and study too.”

Drip. A single tear fell onto the carpet. Fendil spoke.

“I’ve already lost it.”

“What?”

“I said I already lost it.”

“What are you talking about? The grades aren’t even out yet. I know you’re on edge because it’s exam season, but acting like the world is ending is—”

Before I could finish, Fendil slumped down and began to sob uncontrollably. What was going on now? I couldn’t help but be flustered.

“Because you messed up one exam?”

“…….”

Fendil said nothing, hiding his face in his hands. We moved to the dormitory lounge. I stared at Fendil, who sat one seat away from me, and finally opened my mouth.

“Did someone give you the wrong time?”

“No. No matter how much the nobles hate me, they wouldn’t play a prank like that.”

Well, at least the students in our department have a shred of conscience left.

“Then how did…?”

“I just overslept and missed it. I stayed up all night.”

“Why?”

“I lent out my other notes too, but I got them back so late that I had to study until dawn.”

I take back what I said earlier. Those people are worse than devils. I shuddered at the thought.

“By the time I woke up and rushed there, the exam was already over. The students and the professor walked right past me as they left… I’ve never felt so miserable.”

“…….”

“They say commoners are lazy after all. How could anyone oversleep on a day like today? I’ve never overslept in my life, but because I napped just this once, I lost everything I poured my soul into.”

Fendil clenched his fists.

“I’m a commoner, but I tried so hard to have a normal school life like everyone else. I catered to the whims of the nobles who mocked me and did every task they dumped on me. But hard work wasn’t enough. The starting line was different from the beginning.”

“…Fendil.”

“The only thing I had going for me was my high grades, and now I don’t even have that. I have no way to refute them when they call me lazy and pathetic. I find myself pathetic—imagine how I look to everyone else.”

I refuted him immediately.

“You’re not pathetic.”

“…What?”

I said it again.

“I said, you’re not pathetic.”

Fendil stared at me blankly. I continued.

“Sure, if you did it every time, it would be pathetic. But you only did it once. That’s something that can happen to anyone. Any real student, regardless of status, would feel sorry for you the moment they heard your story. The nobles who laughed at you aren’t students; they’re just people playing a game of social hierarchy. You don’t need to lose heart over words from people like that.”

“…….”

“So, focus on your next exam. You’ve definitely lost the top or second spot, but since you’re good at studying, you’ll still rank high if you do well on the remaining tests.”

“…No.”

Fendil shook his head.

“I’m just going to drop out.”

The weight of his words was different from the way students like me usually say it jokingly. Fendil was seriously considering it.

I looked at Fendil in silence. Since our academy has so many nobles, there isn’t a separate scholarship system. Instead, there’s a policy where commoners get a full tuition waiver for three years as long as they don’t fail. So, this wasn’t about the money. I asked.

“Then why?”

“Everything just feels hollow and pointless. One mistake today, and it all came crashing down.”

“…It hasn’t crashed down yet.”

Fendil, clearly emotional, snapped back at me.

“How would you know? You’re not me.”

“Things like this are usually clearer to an outsider.”

“What?”

Fendil was at a loss for words. I asked him.

“Do you like studying here?”

Startled by the sudden question, Fendil nodded slowly.

“Do you have a dream?”

“…Yes.”

“What is it?”

“My dream is to return home and become a royal official. The current King is unconventional; they say he’ll hire commoners if they have the talent.”

“Then all the more reason to graduate. Owl Academy is the best on the continent, no matter what anyone says.”

Fendil remained silent, unable to argue with that.

“Like I said, everyone goes through something like this at least once. If the world collapsed every time someone made a mistake like that, would it even keep spinning? Everyone would just be sitting around doing nothing.”

“…….”

“No matter how big the mistake, you can make up for it. It’s not like you committed a crime or hurt someone else. You just overslept and missed an exam. And that happened because of the nobles who returned your notes late. The person you should be angry at isn’t yourself—it’s those nobles.”

“…You’re a noble too. No matter what you say, it just feels like you’re mocking me from above.”

I thought to myself, ‘I try to comfort him and he still acts like a brat.’

“…Whatever, they all look the same to me.”

Ah, I said that out loud instead of just thinking it. But Fendil was the one who started it, so I decided not to feel guilty.

“I’m basically a commoner like you once I graduate anyway.”

“Don’t make me laugh. You’re an only child; you’re the only one who can inherit your house.”

“That ‘great’ house was snatched away by my uncle a long time ago.”

Fendil’s eyes widened instantly.

“The condition for me to inherit was to never lose the top spot for all three years.”

“Then, since the first year, you’ve already….”

“Yeah, I basically lost it since the first year.”

Fendil was silent for a long time before asking.

“Is that why you hit Rian?”

“Yes. Thinking back, my only regret is that I only hit him. At that moment, I probably could’ve gotten away with murder as self-defense.”

“…Is it okay to tell someone that so easily?”

“Why not? It’s the truth. At first, I was anxious about someone finding out, but once I found something I actually wanted to do, it started feeling like someone else’s problem.”

I really don’t care anymore. Could the me from a year ago have ever imagined I’d turn out like this? Definitely not.

“So, I seriously considered dropping out in the first year just like you. The purpose of me being at this academy had basically vanished.”

“Then why didn’t you?”

“Because I didn’t have anything else to do if I quit.”

I asked him.

“Do you have something else to do?”

Fendil couldn’t reply and simply shook his head with an embarrassed look.

“I decided to keep attending because at least I can get a job if I graduate. If you have a clear vision, dropping out is fine, but I think it’s a waste to give up everything just because of one mistake.”

“…….”

“How can a person be perfect their whole life? I’m telling you, one mistake doesn’t bring everything down. If it did, how would the world function?”

“…Then when does everything come crashing down?”

I answered calmly.

“When I give up.”

“…….”

“If you give up, nothing happens—no change occurs. If you do nothing, things are bound to rust and break. So, don’t drop out just because you’re caught up in the heat of the moment. Even if your mind is a mess, if you think calmly for a bit, you’ll find the answer.”

Fendil nodded.

“…Yeah, you’re right. You’re right.”

“I’m glad I could help.”

I stood up from my seat.

“I’m going to go study now.”

“…Wait.”

Fendil stopped me. I turned back. Keeping his eyes fixed on the floor, he spoke in a voice barely above a whisper.

“……orry.”

“What?”

When I asked him to repeat it, he snapped his head up. With a face as red as a beet, he shouted.

“I said I’m sorry…! For acting like that all this time!”

“…….”

I’ve seen this scene dozens of times in novels. The tsundere character who bullies the protagonist always ends up apologizing like this. And the protagonist usually accepts the apology with a smile.

It felt so heartwarming when I read it in books, but now that it’s happening right in front of me….

“You call that an apology?”

“…Huh?”

It wasn’t heartwarming at all; it just felt annoying.

“If you’re going to apologize, do it properly. Receiving an apology like that just puts me in a bad mood.”

Considering everything you’ve done to me until now.

As if exam season wasn’t stressful enough, all sorts of things were happening. Having snapped at him, I returned to my room. Man, if I’m too worked up to study, what am I going to do?

Then, the letter from Ronia’s fiancée caught my eye. Right, I had read it and left it on my desk. I picked up the letter. I read the name written on the envelope aloud.

“Shushu Monica.”

Shushu. What a cute name. I should definitely greet her in person later. Humming a tune, I placed the letter in a prominent spot.

That’s right, I have my rabbit-like Michael. I need to study hard. I opened my book.