Chapter 38: Your Gentle Despair (4)

Once, I saw the blood-soaked earth.

Screaming, shedding tears, crying for mercy, but disappearing into a handful of gore.

From the moment I took that sight in, Magical Girl Emerald—I became unable to live normally.

Every time I closed my eyes, that sight would flash before my eyes, so it was fortunate that I woke up screaming.

[Emerald, wake up! Emerald! The hope circuit is being eroded by despair energy right now!]

“Aka, Lee… Akari… Ugh…”

Despair flowed out.

A magical girl who scattered fatal hopes to monsters.

To such a magical girl, the most fatal thing was, of course, despair itself.

Even more so when it was her own despair.

“Cough, Ugh… Ugh…”

Another red color was added to the puddle of blood.

No, rather than red, death that was closer to black painted the red world black.

[Bird, your life signs are decreasing! Wake up, Emerald!!!!]

“I, I—”

If it had been a mild despair, I might have been able to overcome it easily.

But the despair I felt now was on a different level from the despair I had felt until now.

A thick despair that was eating away at my own life.

That despair was creating in my heart and was running through every part of my body through the hope circuit.

‘My body feels like it’s burning…’

It felt like hydrochloric acid was entering my blood vessels instead of blood.

I crouched down in pain so severe that my vision turned white.

Breath, I can’t breathe…

[Emerald!!!]

“Ah, huh.”

I tried to catch my breath at the sound of Mei’s screams next to me, but my body was already so stiff that even breathing was impossible.

Come to your senses. Come to your senses, Emerald. Remember why you came back to the past. You came back to get rid of Apocalypse, right?

It’s actually a good thing. Since Apocalypse is gone now—No, no. That girl, Akari, is not Apocalypse.

A special relationship we had in this world. Someone who looks exactly like Apocalypse, and is definitely the same person, but is definitely not Apocalypse.

‘Apocalypse does not exist in this world!’

That was the conclusion I, Magical Girl Emerald, came to a few days after spending time with Akari.

Where on earth would someone not be sad over the death of a friend, the death of someone precious to them?

Even if they are a Magical Girl, they are still humans.

Rather, I might have been hiding my weak inner self with a mask of hope.

[Emerald-!!!!!]

My body, frozen in the despair energy that I felt in an instant, began to move again.

The despair that had been swirling around my body until just before disappeared in an instant, filling the empty space with hope once again.

As I finally managed to breathe and hurriedly swept the air around me, my blurry vision began to gradually become clearer.

[Eh, Emerald-ba, just now…!!]

Ugh.

A familiar situation.

And a familiar despair.

It subsided in an instant, but the memories engraved in my mind forced my body to move.

I have to go.

‘Why?’

Why am I going there?

To defeat Apocalypse?

No, no. The one spewing that despair right now is not Apocalypse.

What if it’s Apocalypse?

Then what should I do?

Did I get fooled by Apocalypse, who was pretending to be human?

If not, was it just my own delusion?

My head was spinning.

Akari and Apocalypse overlapped, scattered, clumped together, and tore apart repeatedly.

“Akari…”

[She’ll be okay, Emerald! Please, take care of yourself first for now!]

I grabbed my head at Mei’s scream.

My mouth opened on its own at the sharp pain that felt like a needle was stabbing my brain.

No. Don’t say that. I absolutely must—

“…Why? Because that kid’s a monster?”

[Huh?]

My head sank coldly at the words that came out without any thought.

You knew, Mei. No, maybe I knew it unconsciously.

‘Akari…

Her body was colder than others, her heartbeat was slow, and even though she had eaten delicious food, she reacted as if she had put something disgusting in her mouth.

In fact, I wanted to think of her as a person.

To be exact, I thought of her as a person.

Apocalypse was even more inhuman than the current Akari.

Apocalypse, no. However, she was not Apocalypse.

She proved that herself, and at the same time, I guaranteed it.

That’s why I absolutely had to go to the place where I felt that despair.

In order to keep her, whom I guaranteed, human.

‘I will never let Akari become Apocalypse.’

If she had been a monster since the first time we met, there would have been no hesitation.

However, the Akari I met for the first time was closer to a human than a monster like Apocalypse.

That’s why I had no choice but to believe her.

Not the monster Apocalypse, but the human Apocalypse.

That girl definitely didn’t seem that bad…

[…eventually gave in to me once.

I don’t recommend going to meet her, Emerald.]

“…Mei.”

[But, Mei was always like that. Even though he said no, he—]

He lifted his hand, which had stopped shaking, and tapped Mei’s crown with his finger.

“Let’s go save Akari, Mei.”

I will never let you become Apocalypse. So I will definitely save you. Definitely.

‘Ugh, I suddenly feel chills… Could it be that he has a cold? Oh, no way.’

The moment he imagined the impossible, he instinctively burst out in laughter.

That Apocalypse has a cold?

Ruby, who was passing by, laughed.

“Hey, if we go here, we’ll find the exit, right? Right?”

“Is it taking too long?”

“Yes! It doesn’t make sense that we’ve been walking for so long and we still haven’t arrived!”

She hit the nail on the head.

In fact, if it was the exit, it would have been enough to just go straight the way we came.

If you were to ask why I was going around the lab in circles, it was because I wanted to suck up the despair of the humans behind me.

‘It was only for a moment, but the really delicious scent was better…

It was a feeling similar to the despair that Tamako exuded while sleeping.

If I were to use a metaphor, it was like mixing the despair of a human and a magical girl in a 1:1 ratio and then dividing it in half.

Anyway.

“What if the doctor comes looking for me…!!”

“I don’t want to get hurt…”

“Well, I was wrong. I was wrong… I was wrong…”

Seeing that the doctor was the first to worry about the human, I could clearly see how vicious that human was.

How could all humans with the title of doctor have such bad personalities?

“We just need to go a little further.”

So what can you do?

I laughed happily while sucking up the despair I felt from the humans.

It was fortunate that the humans were following me, because if they had seen my face, they would have run away immediately.

“…I can’t believe it! No matter how much I think about it, I’m just going around in circles in the same place!”

“I couldn’t help it because I was looking for a path without monsters.”

“But this is too much!”

“Oh my, if you scream like that, a monster will appear?”

How would a real monster react if it appeared in front of a human who was trembling with anxiety?

Just imagining it was thrilling, and my heart pounded.

Okay, then let’s have one—

Growl

“Eek…?!”

“It’s a, a monster…”

“T- It’s all because you screamed, right!?”

“It’s not my fault! That, that guy keeps going around in circles…!!”

Maybe because they were young humans, their reactions were really delicious.

It was quite amusing to see them busy fighting each other, blaming each other without even thinking about running away.

When I saw the despair I felt from them, it seemed like they were just terrified and panicking.

It’d be weird if we just stayed still, so let’s force them to run away!

Kyaaaahh.

Which one should I choose?

Guess—

Well, that’s what I said, but there seemed to be only one answer here.

I blocked the humans who were still standing still despite the monster running towards them and spread my arms wide to both sides.

Thud—

“Whoa?!!”

“What, what is it…”

My vision spun around, and my body was instantly slammed into the wall next to me.

It felt like riding a roller coaster; it was good, you know.

I opened my eyes slightly and raised my head, and saw the humans staring at me blankly with shocked expressions.

Now, if I could just say one thing here—

“Everyone, run, away, you…”

“Ugh, euaaaah!!”

Did the words that were barely audible bring the humans to their senses?

As soon as I finished speaking, I raised the corners of my mouth slightly at the people who started to turn around and run.

People who were running away in the opposite direction of the entrance in a terrified situation…

It was like a scene straight out of a movie, so I couldn’t help but laugh.