Subtitle: Hello everyone! My Name is Heaven-Shattering!
Qiweiya slowly came to her senses, realizing she was already in Semuri’s dean’s office.
“So, I’m imprisoned now? Bound and posed for a picture? Am I about to have a series of explicit photos taken, covered in unknown liquids, like some kind of livestock?”
Semuri remained utterly unfazed by Qiweiya’s idiotic rant. “While I wholeheartedly agree with your propositions,” she purred, “perhaps we should conclude your current affairs before moving on to activities that would bring universal joy~”
Qiweiya thrashed wildly. “Holy crap! I was just joking! Don’t actually do that! I’ll get dehydrated, I’m telling you! You’ll get what’s coming to you sooner or later for acting like this!”
Semuri raised a provocative eyebrow. “Oh? By *you*, you mean? In that case, I’d be absolutely delighted~”
Qiweiya watched Semuri’s hands reach out too far, her struggles intensifying. “You, you, you! Don’t you dare be so presumptuous! I am your master; this is an act of master-slaying! And there will be no scandalous wet-body benefits! Release me now while you still can, or else I’ll thrash you within an inch of your life!”
Semuri froze for a moment, then, to Qiweiya’s astonishment, gleefully began untying her bonds. Qiweiya stared at her actions with a peculiar expression. “Child, have you lost your mind?” she questioned. “You’re actually untying me? Should I perhaps diagnose you? I am a venerable old Chinese traditional doctor, after all. And since you’re my disciple, I’ll even do it for free.”
Vernis interjected, a hint of sourness in her voice. “But didn’t you just say you’d thrash the Dean? So…”
Qiweiya’s voice cut off abruptly, her expression twisting into something comically flustered. “N-no… that’s not right!” she stammered. “That was just a joke! Disciple, I’m telling you, you completely misheard!”
Semuri ceased her movements. A faint “Ding~” seemed to echo as her purple eyes, shimmering like a cheap special effect, fixed intently on Qiweiya. “Are you truly going to deceive your beloved disciple, who has suffered so much for you?” she lamented. “Are you unwilling to sacrifice your body just a little to rescue this poor little darling, whose mind and body are enduring such profound torment?”
Qiweiya glared at her with utter disdain. “Pah! *You* call that ‘profound torment’?” she scoffed. “You live such a pampered life, you wouldn’t even know! A different academy girl every day—I’ve lost count after five digits… And aren’t you absolutely disgusting? How old are you to be calling yourself a ‘little darling’? Are you trying to imply you’re still young and delicate?”
“Mwah~” Semuri suddenly leaned in and kissed Qiweiya’s cheek. “Holy crap! You shameless old hag! You actually smeared that sticky-worm-like liquid of yours all over my dashingly handsome face!”
Semuri covered her mysteriously flushed cheeks, her eyes gleaming with an ecstatic, truly terrifying intensity. “Qiweiya, you’re simply too adorable! You care about me so much, yet you were too embarrassed to come see me, leaving me to guard my empty boudoir for all these years~” She sniffled dramatically. “Wuwuwu, I’m truly so pitiful!”
Qiweiya’s face turned absolutely ashen with fury. “I’ve never in my life seen anyone so shamelessly self-aggrandizing,” she seethed. “Truly, you are the first person in all of history; I humbly concede defeat.” As she spoke, the ropes binding her body suddenly snapped apart with a series of soft pops.
“I’m not playing this game anymore,” Qiweiya declared. “You’ve utterly disgusted me, you damn idiot! Let whoever wants to play, play—I refuse to participate any further. Vernis, let’s go.”
Semuri straightened her collar. “Come back,” she commanded. Qiweiya, however, didn’t even glance over her shoulder. “Who do you think you are?” she retorted. “Do you truly believe I’ll return just because you order it?”
“Don’t you want your enrollment file?” Semuri asked, a sly smile playing on her lips. “And your student ID number? I’ve also heard some interesting rumors about the Imperial Young Prince recently~”
“Thump!” Qiweiya plopped down opposite the desk, urging impatiently. “Hurry, hurry! Finish this up so I can leave. The very air here feels decadent, and I refuse to stay another moment.”
Semuri tapped her index finger against the table, crafted from expensive materials, as she leisurely surveyed Qiweiya from head to toe. Qiweiya felt goosebumps prickling her skin. “Hey, hey, hey,” she urged, “can we please just get this over with? I’m growing terribly impatient!”
“Mmhmm~ No rush, no rush,” Semuri purred, “it’s just your appearance…” Qiweiya, maintaining a sweetly alluring expression, waved a dismissive hand. “It’s fine~ I can subtly influence the subconscious of the students and teachers. At most, they’ll simply perceive me as a girl who bears a striking resemblance to the Goddess.”
Semuri nodded. “And your name?” she inquired. “For my name, simply drop the surname and keep ‘Qiweiya’~”
Semuri’s foot slipped, and she nearly toppled from her chair. “What?” she exclaimed, aghast. “Are you completely out of your mind? You just casually chose a name that will instantly arouse suspicion?”
Qiweiya nodded, a troubled frown on her face. “That’s true… but I truly don’t want to change my name~” Suddenly, a “Ding~” sounded as Qiweiya clapped her hands gleefully. “Then I shall be named Wodetian Weishenmo Namo Shuai Shuaide Buyaobuyaode!” she declared. “How does that sound? Isn’t it incredibly dashing? Don’t be envious; your big brother is merely a legend~”
Both Semuri and Vernis tumbled to the floor. “Can you please be a little more serious?” Semuri groaned. “That name is utterly preposterous… And are you an idiot? With such a provocative name, are you sure you’re not trying to transform into a Main Tank, drawing all the aggro?”
Qiweiya slammed the table in protest, her voice laced with indignation. “What’s unreasonable about it?” she demanded. “Doesn’t every single word perfectly encapsulate my hidden, unapproachable status? It neither diminishes my aura nor fails to make my Kingly Hegemon aura vibrate, striking fear into all petty villains! Very good!”
****
“Sigh~ Why wouldn’t they let me use my full name?” Qiweiya grumbled. “They only left me with one part… ‘Namo Shuai’? And that was after I fought for it for ages?”
Vernis responded with a strained expression. “That’s because, Master, that name would simply be too much of an assault on our daily lives… No one would ever accept a name like that, truly. The fact that you even got to keep ‘Namo Shuai’ is a testament to your heaven-defying eloquence.”
Qiweiya shook her head, sighing with dramatic flair. “Such is the worldly gaze~ truly foolish and steeped in ignorance!”
Vernis merely twitched her lips, offering no comment. Suddenly, Qiweiya tugged at her sleeve, shouting excitedly, “Look! There’s an incredibly dashing young woman over there!”
Vernis followed her gaze, spotting a stunningly beautiful girl with pink hair and blue eyes. The girl wore a black halter dress over a white short-sleeved top, with white and purplish-pink zebra-striped long socks on her legs, exuding an air of heroic charm.
The young woman also noticed the commotion from Qiweiya’s direction, especially given the loudness of the shout.
She approached them, asking, “Is something the matter?” Before Vernis could explain, Qiweiya eagerly interjected, “Miss, what’s your name? You’re truly so beautiful~” (She certainly earned full marks for feigning youthfulness with that one!)
The young woman hadn’t expected such a response from Qiweiya. She ran a hand through her long, straight pink hair that reached her waist, a troubled look on her face. “Beautiful? This is the first time I’ve heard anyone say that. Everyone else says I’m quite violent… You’re the first to say something like this. My name is Anthea Kleinz, and I’m the new student representative for the Extreme Martial Arts Department. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”
Qiweiya grasped the young woman’s slender, delicate hand. “It’s wonderful to meet you, Sister Kleinz~ My name is Wodetian Weishenmo Namo Shuai Shuaide Buyaobuyaode! You can just call me Namo Shuai!”
Silence.
Kleinz rubbed her ears. “Are you certain that was your name you just spoke?”
Qiweiya nodded with satisfaction. “Absolutely! Who else could possibly deserve such a domineering name?”
Vernis swiftly picked up Qiweiya in her arms and bowed to Kleinz in apology. “I am so sorry! My little master simply loves playing these foolish little jokes. Her real name is just Namo Shuai… the rest she added herself. I must take her to register now, so we won’t bother you any longer, Miss!” With that, she dashed away, carrying Qiweiya.
“Hey! My full name *is* that! You’re messing with me!” “Master, please don’t say another word! It’s too embarrassing!”
A slightly wild smile bloomed on Kleinz’s pretty face. “Namo Shuai, huh? What an interesting name… That maid’s strength is also quite formidable. I wonder which esteemed family’s young lady she is, hiding her true identity, hehe~”