A Life I Didn’t Choose

Haejin had a dream.

A dream from his childhood.

When his parents passed away, Haejin was in middle school, and overnight, he became an orphan.

Everyone felt pity for him, but no one stepped forward to take him in.

His grandparents had passed away early as well, so there was no one willing to take in a single child.

Among them, there was only one person who reached out to him—his aunt.

However, she made it clear that she would take him in only in exchange for the inheritance.

Raising a child required more money, attention, and time than anyone could imagine, so no one opposed her taking the inheritance.

Haejin didn’t resent that either.

Having been left alone without family, he was grateful that his aunt was willing to raise him.

At that time, he didn’t even know how much inheritance there was, nor did he understand the value of money, so he purely trusted her goodwill.

He obediently followed his aunt, but it didn’t take long for him to realize it had been a wrong choice.

What his aunt wanted was money, not a child in need of care.

She merely gave him space in a warehouse that was little more than a sleeping spot and provided no other support.

He had to do all the housework like an employee and prepare his own meals just to secure a single spot to eat.

She gave him no allowance, and he wore only hand-me-downs from her children, stitched together to fit.

Anyone could have thought to leave the house at this point.

But Haejin had lost his parents, and if his aunt hadn’t taken him in, he would have had to go to an orphanage.

Realistically, the orphanage might have been better, but his body was too big.

If someone were to adopt a child, they would want a young one; no one would take a fully grown child.

So the chance of finding a new family was slim, and above all…

He didn’t want to be abandoned.

He wanted to be loved.

That was the only way Haejin could survive.

Living on scraps and under watchful eyes, the life of playing with friends or enjoying the violin had long crumbled like a distant fantasy.

It wasn’t until Haejin became an adult that he received a message from the chairman, saying he would keep his promise.

At the time, Haejin was only nineteen.

He had heard adults joking about arranging marriages between children, but he never thought seriously about it.

So when the topic came up formally, he was only bewildered, not happy.

However…

[You know, right? That family is insanely wealthy. Even if you lose, they’ll bear the loss. You have no reason to look upset.]

The person who welcomed this promise more than anyone was his aunt.

She comforted and persuaded Haejin, who had become distressed at the thought of marrying a man whose face he had never seen, that it was a good opportunity.

[That’s sudden… marrying someone you don’t even know is…]

[Haejin, you just don’t understand. This is a really good opportunity. If you marry the chairman’s child, our whole family will succeed at once. You even have debts living here without your parents. You can pay all of that off.]

[…]

If they had treated him normally and acted like parents, he might have felt a debt to repay, but that wasn’t how it was.

His adolescence with them had been so painful that he wanted to erase it entirely.

What debt could he possibly owe them? What were they expecting him to repay?

He felt no persuasion whatsoever.

If anything, he felt only resistance.

Seeing Haejin show no reaction, his aunt, as if deciding to change tactics, suddenly raised her voice.

[So how long were you planning to sit around in this house? You’re an adult now; it’s time to become independent.]

[I was planning to, anyway.]

[Ha! Do you think you can just declare independence and that’s it?]

Haejin had always intended to leave once he became an adult, so being told to leave didn’t hurt him.

He agreed to leave willingly, yet his aunt immediately found fault even with that.

He had no allowance and had been a student, so where and how could he become independent?

As his aunt said, he didn’t have money now.

Even in his past life, he had wanted to leave and tried part-time work, but balancing studies and housework made it impossible to work properly.

Even the little money he managed to save went toward buying study materials, leaving nothing to accumulate.

Unable to retort this time, Haejin remained silent, and his aunt pressed on relentlessly.

[Think about it. Someone like you, with no parents, no college, nothing—could you ever meet someone who would love you?]

[…]

She belittled him, asking what kind of person could love someone so insignificant.

He should have ignored her, knowing she just wanted to provoke him, but the loss of both parents, giving up the violin, being unable to attend college, having nothing—everything was Haejin’s complex.

How could this happen? If there were a god, he thought, they wouldn’t have put him in this hell.

Sometimes, the despair swallowed him so much that he wondered if his misfortune caused his parents’ deaths.

Seeing Haejin’s fierce resistance weaken for a moment, his aunt immediately noticed and smiled, speaking in a surprisingly gentle tone.

[At least meet him once. He’s far more cultured and well-loved than you, so nothing bad can come of it.]

Just meet him once…

Could meeting him once reveal whether he was a good person? Could he be loved? No. Haejin had a life of his own…

Yet he couldn’t refuse.

He wasn’t sure if there was anyone who could truly become family to someone like him, so he had no choice but to attend.

A few days later, the appointments were set.

He had three siblings, meeting in order: first, second, then third.

He wondered why such a prestigious family would line up to meet someone like him.

It turned out they had made an extraordinary offer to give the company to whoever married him.

Since they were half-siblings, they all seemed eager for this marriage.

Knowing the condition, Haejin felt even less inclined to meet them, but he held a faint hope that someone decent might appear.

Unfortunately, even after two meetings, he found no one appealing.

The first seemed kind but older, and their conversation didn’t flow, like meeting a good uncle.

The second was younger, but his rough appearance and anxious, tense manner made him uncomfortable.

By the time the third meeting came, Haejin had no expectations left.

The weather, however, was pleasantly clear.

It was neither cold nor hot, and the sunlight was warm enough to be dazzling.

The meeting place was a luxurious café with a terrace.

Haejin arrived first and sat under a parasol at a table, letting out a sigh.

[Haah…]

These were people with far better circumstances than him, people he’d never meet elsewhere…

Could marriage really happen like this?

He still doubted whether it was right to welcome his life partner this way, and none of them appealed to him, which only made him more uneasy.

While he nervously stared at his hands in his lap, a soft voice called nearby.

[Jeong Haejin?]

[Yes?]

Startled from his thoughts, Haejin lifted his head.

A tall man stood beside him.

[Nice to meet you. I’m Gu Beomwoo.]

Haejin blinked slowly at the polite greeting.

He was completely different from what Haejin had expected.

Sunlight shimmered behind him, and he radiated a refreshing scent, reminiscent of the summer sea.

Haejin felt all his senses focus on him.

He had seen many people in his life, but never had he felt this.

That was their first meeting.

****

“…Jin, Haejin.”

While he was deeply asleep, someone lightly shook him awake.

The sweet voice made him want to sink back into sleep, but the moment he recognized whose voice it was, his eyes flew open.

Haejin looked up to see Beomwoo perched on the edge of the bed, looking down at him.

Though they had been married for a while, sometimes it was hard to believe they shared the same space, and after dreaming of him, it felt even more unreal.

Haejin stared blankly, trying to distinguish reality from dream, when he noticed the clock behind him.

It was long past Beomwoo’s usual leaving time—it was after nine.

‘…Nine?’

Reality hit him instantly, and he remembered they had planned to eat dinner together that morning.

He had never failed to keep a promise with Beomwoo, who valued punctuality even for minor matters.

Seeing the time now, Haejin panicked, imagining Beomwoo might be annoyed.

His body shot up like someone burned, and he stammered,

“I-I’m sorry. We were supposed to eat together.”

“Come down. We’re having dinner.”

Despite his panic, Beomwoo calmly replied and got up first.

Haejin blinked in surprise; he hadn’t scolded him.

The table was set when Haejin rushed downstairs.

He sat opposite Beomwoo nervously, saying,

“E-enjoy your meal.”

Beomwoo picked up his spoon without reaction.

The clinking against the bowl echoed in the tense silence.

Haejin struggled to eat a few bites, still uncertain if food was going in his mouth or nose.

Suddenly, Beomwoo broke the silence.

“Jeong Haejin.”

“Uh… Yes?”

Haejin choked slightly on his food.

Beomwoo gazed at him calmly and asked slowly,

“Don’t you have anything to say to me?”

Say… what?

Haejin blinked in confusion.

It felt as if Beomwoo could read his mind.

There was so much he wanted to ask—from mundane matters about work to small curiosities, expressions of affection, and the visit from his mother and their divorce.

But after swallowing so many words for so long, he found it difficult to speak.

Still…

He was exhausted, and there was no one in the house on his side.

The only person he could hope for was Beomwoo.

After hesitating, Haejin finally spoke with difficulty,

“Um… Beomwoo.”

“Yes?”

“At the hospital the other day… you said you didn’t expect me to have children.”

“….”

“I want to know what that meant.”

Haejin lifted his head slowly to meet Beomwoo’s gaze.

‘There were many things I wanted to ask and say, but this was what I was most curious about,’

‘The meaning of what he had said at the hospital that day.’