The Invitation That Broke Me

The heartache was so intense it felt like it was tearing apart.
The pain was so excruciating.
Haeyoon almost wished for physical pain instead, and wept for a long time.
Yet, even as he cried, he hoped this would be the last time he hurt and wept because of them.
It was time for them to go their separate ways—they to their lives, and he to his.
He didn’t want to hurt for the same reason because of them ever again.

But Haeyoon’s resolve didn’t last long.
Having barely pulled himself together and finished his shower, he emerged to find a number he never thought he’d see again lighting up his phone screen.
It was an unsaved number, but Haeyoon immediately recognized its owner.
It was a number too familiar, too hard to forget.
It belonged to the person who was once his lifelong friend, but was now less than a stranger.
It was Ahn Seonwoo.

Haeyoon stared blankly at the eleven digits glowing on his phone.
It was a good thing the cold water had washed away the effects of the alcohol.
He didn’t want to face him while under the influence.
Now that they had moved on with their lives and were even getting married, he didn’t want to give the impression that he was still hurting, breaking down, and trying to forget them with alcohol.
Haeyoon was a tolerant and kind person, but he wasn’t without pride.

“Hello.”
Soon, Haeyoon answered the persistently ringing call.
His voice held no particular emotion.

– Haeyoon-ah…?
In contrast, the voice on the other end of the phone was already highly emotional.
Seonwoo was the polar opposite of Haeyoon.
Compared to Haeyoon, who was generally placid and didn’t show emotional highs and lows, Ahn Seonwoo often reacted dramatically to everything.
When they were friends, Haeyoon had liked that different side of Seonwoo.
But the sound of his voice now, after so long, seemed quite contrived.
Just like his sobbing performance in front of Haeyoon that day.

“It’s Seonwoo.”

– Huh? Yeah…. It’s me, Seonwoo.
He sounded a little flustered.
Perhaps Seo Haeyoon’s voice calling his name was too composed.
If he had called just five minutes earlier, he could have met a sobbing Seo Haeyoon.
Haeyoon gave a slight, self-mocking smile and spoke.

“Yeah. What’s up?”

– Ah, uh… well….
Seonwoo couldn’t easily continue.
Honestly, he probably hadn’t expected Haeyoon to ask ‘what’s up’ so nonchalantly.
Did he think Haeyoon would scream?
Or tell him never to contact him again and hang up?
Or maybe curse him out?
But Haeyoon did none of those things.
He just waited quietly for Seonwoo to speak.

Perhaps he wanted to apologize one last time.
Maybe he wanted to shake off that lingering, uncomfortable guilt in his heart before the wedding.
Haeyoon actually thought that was fine.
He wanted to close this chapter of his life completely, even if it took that.

But Seo Haeyoon didn’t know.
Even after knowing him for so long, living as his friend, and even being betrayed by him, Haeyoon didn’t know Ahn Seonwoo at all.
He didn’t know what kind of blade Seonwoo held for him in his heart.
He didn’t know how low Seonwoo could go, or how cruel and harsh he could be.

– Haeyoon-ah, I want to see you before the wedding.
Haeyoon still somewhat trusted that soft, affectionate voice.

-We were… best friends, after all.
So, Haeyoon didn’t anticipate that the respectful ‘ending’ he had hoped for wouldn’t come.
Not even then.

* * * *

“You can’t talk?”
That was the first thing Seo Haeyoon heard from Ahn Seonwoo.
They were in the second year of middle school, when everything was still unripe.

Haeyoon had moved to Seoul due to his parents’ business at the start of the new school year.
It wasn’t from a faraway province, but starting a new semester—already a difficult time to adjust—in a new place without a single familiar face was a huge burden.
Especially for Haeyoon, who was quiet and shy to begin with.

The class was filled with kids who already knew each other and had their own close-knit groups.
Amidst that, Haeyoon drifted alone like a remote island.
It probably wasn’t easy to muster the courage to approach Haeyoon, a quiet, unfamiliar transfer student who looked cold and kept to himself.

Kids who were intrigued by his delicate, mature air, unusual for their age, whispered and observed him, but that was it.
No one crossed the line to actually befriend him.
Except for Ahn Seonwoo.

Haeyoon turned his gaze to look at Seonwoo, who had sat down in the empty seat next to him during break.
Unlike himself, he was a friend with a bright, gentle smile that always stood out.
Seonwoo was already quite popular in class back then, and Haeyoon’s heart raced at the wonder of someone like that talking to him.

“I do know how to talk….”
After answering, Haeyoon sighed inwardly.
Couldn’t he have answered more kindly, more warmly?
He probably sounded like someone who didn’t want to make friends.
The thought that he had just squandered a rare chance to make a friend made his heart sink rapidly.
He was sure Ahn Seonwoo would get up and leave immediately, thinking ‘what kind of jerk is this?’
He began to worry seriously about what he would do if he couldn’t make a single friend for the entire school year.

But Seonwoo didn’t get angry or storm off.
He just calmly accepted the reply.
“Oh, really? I thought you just never talked.”
“Ah… I’m usually a bit quiet. I’m shy too….”
This time, he answered desperately.
He didn’t want to stupidly ruin a second chance.
He wanted to convey that he wasn’t ignoring him or disinterested in conversation, but that he was just naturally quiet and not very fun.
Would he really want to be friends with someone who was quiet and not fun?
That was a problem for later.

“Oh, is that so?”
Seonwoo made a pleased expression.
Having not expected such a face, Haeyoon was extremely surprised.
Haeyoon treasured the memory of that face for a very long time.
For fifteen-year-old Haeyoon, scared and struggling in a new environment, Ahn Seonwoo’s face that day was a small hope.

“I actually like quiet kids.”
Haeyoon’s heart pounded.
For the first time since arriving here, the anticipation that he might make a friend filled his chest.
Ahn Seonwoo, looking down slightly at Haeyoon with his chin raised a bit, spoke.
“Do you want to be friends with me?”
For a very long time, Haeyoon considered his meeting with Seonwoo that day a miracle.

* * * *

After receiving Seonwoo’s call saying he wanted to meet, Haeyoon thought a lot before going to the meeting place.
He thought about whether there was any reason to see Ahn Seonwoo now.
All that remained was pain; there was no possibility for the future.
Even though the wound still hurt enough to kill, he didn’t want to restore their relationship.
Haeyoon had already closed the book on his relationship with them in his heart.
To begin with, Haeyoon wasn’t the type to cling to relationships that were absolutely beyond repair, and theirs was already shattered beyond recovery.
In other words, the fact that Haeyoon had agreed to see Ahn Seonwoo one last time was a sentiment truly uncharacteristic of Seo Haeyoon.

It was because it was Ahn Seonwoo.
Because it was the Ahn Seonwoo he had shared so much with for so long.
Because he was a friend who had been that close.
Seonwoo’s name was etched in half of Haeyoon’s life.
That doesn’t mean everything was good.
It doesn’t mean Ahn Seonwoo was a perfect friend.
There were times Haeyoon couldn’t understand him, and times he was hurt by his words.
But Haeyoon thought that’s what friendship was—adjusting to each other.
He had genuinely liked Seonwoo as a friend, for a very long time.

That’s why Haeyoon wanted to see Ahn Seonwoo one last time.
Once the two got married, there would truly be no reason to ever see them again.
Haeyoon wasn’t curious about why Seonwoo wanted to see him now.
He naturally assumed it was to apologize.
He thought Seonwoo must feel conflicted too, having unintentionally taken his close friend’s lover and now getting married, and would want to apologize sincerely one last time.
Haeyoon was certain of Seonwoo’s intention.
That’s why he came.
To receive his apology.
To use that to free himself from this situation and heal his wounds.
To finally put an end to the pain of being betrayed by people he had loved sincerely for so long.

Haeyoon’s worry lay elsewhere.
He was concerned about what he should do if Seonwoo clung to him, sincerely apologized, and begged for them to go back to being friends.
He had no intention of continuing a relationship with either Oh Jaeyeol or Ahn Seonwoo, but he feared his heart might soften if faced with a pleading Seonwoo right in front of him.
Haeyoon had always been weak to that look on Seonwoo’s face.

So he came with his heart firmly set.
He came determined not to accept Seonwoo’s apology no matter how much he clung and begged.
He never, not for a moment, thought Seonwoo might still have more pain to inflict on him.

“Wh… what is this….”
Haeyoon’s voice trembled helplessly.
He couldn’t even get a proper grip, struggling just to hold a single piece of paper.
While Haeyoon’s pitiful state might have evoked sympathy, the person sitting across from him didn’t bat an eye as he answered.

“What do you mean, what is it? Can’t you tell by looking?”
“…….”
“It’s a wedding invitation.”