The Nature of Friendship

“To be honest, I was really startled when I saw your name on the club application. What a coincidence!”

Yu Tianman tidied up the miscellaneous items on the long table, which looked like remnants from a previous activity. Her movements were quick, as if she intentionally wanted to prevent me from seeing, but I still caught a glimpse of cosmetics, empty snack bags, and a few teen magazines. She then swiftly and roughly wiped down the whiteboard directly opposite the entrance. Despite her haste, the blurred handwriting was still discernible, listing several well-known dessert shops and beauty salons—places even I had vaguely heard of.

‘I suppose I now have a rough idea of this club’s atmosphere,’ I mused.

“Apologies, the activity room is a bit messy. I must have forgotten to tidy up after the last event. Please, make yourself at home.” The club president chuckled awkwardly, her hands flailing as she hurried to clear away various items. Upon closer inspection, I noticed most were feminine belongings: hair clips, elastic bands, earphone cables, and even a pair of laddered stockings… Though, the last one might have been a trick of the light; perhaps it was a rag or something else entirely.

A long conference table dominated the center of the activity room, flanked by a sprawling lounge sofa on one side and cabinets and a storage room on the other. I unslung my backpack, settling onto the sofa to wait for Yu Tianman to finish tidying.

‘How should I pass the time after homework tonight? I played games yesterday, so perhaps a movie today,’ I pondered. ‘Speaking of which, the movie buff clique in my class was discussing something called *The Worst Person in the World* today. Alright, that’s what I’ll watch tonight.’ From their tone, it sounded quite interesting. I could always empathize with stories that depicted everyday life. Yet, tales of love, sacrifice, or adventure often left me feeling nothing, even after watching them. Was it because those things felt too distant from my own reality? I struggled to grasp the characters’ motivations and logical actions, frequently finding myself utterly bewildered.

“Why have you been so quiet since I started?” Yu Tianman asked, having almost finished her cleaning. “Don’t you have any questions you’d like to ask?”

“No.”

“You’re quite blunt, aren’t you? No wonder your homeroom teacher said you don’t have friends at school.” Yu Tianman wiped her hands clean with a wet tissue, then joined me on the sofa, our only separation being my backpack. “In that case, I’ll be your friend.”

“Alright.”

My reply caused Yu Tianman to pause, momentarily taken aback. ‘Was there really anything surprising about such a straightforward matter?’

“Heh… I thought you were the reclusive, difficult-to-approach type,” she leaned forward, her gaze holding a profound meaning as she looked at me. “Turns out you’re quite laid-back. So why don’t you have friends at school?”

“I’m more interested in why one *must* have friends,” I countered. “Even without them, I haven’t encountered any problems in over a decade… Are friends a necessity for life?”

From childhood, I had never walked alongside anyone or slung an arm around a shoulder. Of course, I was willing to be close to people; I simply didn’t know how to make others happy. I didn’t know what they wanted from me, nor what I should offer them. Every time I voiced my thoughts, they would scatter. Why did people communicate? Why did they interact? I had never understood any of it. Everyone else was ‘other’—people I was not. I didn’t know what they thought, nor did I care. I imagined they viewed me in the same way. If that was the case, what exactly were friends for? Why did everyone have them, and why did everyone need them?

“Why do we need friends, you ask…?” My words sent Yu Tianman into a thoughtful silence. Her eyelids drooped, her long lashes and dark hair shimmering faintly in the light. “Because of loneliness, I suppose,” she eventually said. “If there’s no one to talk to, no one to share a smile with, you feel incredibly isolated—it’s… unbearable.”

“Even with friends, loneliness doesn’t disappear,” I retorted. “Even if they’re someone to confide in, someone to lean on—those who can be called friends, or even family… they are ultimately still others. Loneliness always persists.”

“But loneliness can be alleviated, can’t it?” she countered with a smile. “Having friends by your side, chatting about everything under the sun, exploring places together—that allows you to temporarily forget your solitude and then face the next day. Isn’t that a good enough reason?”

“Is that so?” Forgetting loneliness… it was indeed a compelling reason. Friends, much like games and movies, served as a distraction from the unbearable solitude of life, allowing one to shift their focus, forget, and feel a little better. ‘So, friends are like seasoning, then?’

“Seasoning?”

“We eat to survive; whether it tastes good or not doesn’t affect our survival. Therefore, seasoning is essentially optional. It makes food a little more palatable, but we’d still eat without it.”

“Ah, I see. That’s a great analogy.”

‘Each of us, undoubtedly, has contemplated human relationships and sought to define our most comfortable boundaries. We desire to confide in others, to journey with them through life’s trials and triumphs, to have support when making decisions, and to be restrained when acting foolishly. This isn’t solely because we fear loneliness, but also because none of us are perfect.’

“Student Yi Chang,” I heard her call my name. “As your first friend at school, you can always rely on me for anything in the future.”

I saw the girl’s smile, as vibrant as a summer bloom. Our gazes met, and the mirth in her eyes was even deeper than the curve of her lips. I turned my head away, no longer looking at her, and she, too, slowly shifted her gaze elsewhere.

“Let me introduce you to our club, as its president,” she cleared her throat. “Our club, ah, was established, um, this, ah, this year. The founder, ah, that would be me…”

“Why do you intersperse so many ‘ah’s when you speak?”

“I’m imitating the school leaders when they give speeches,” she said. “Isn’t it funny?”

“…” I, for one, didn’t understand.

“Xiao Mei said it was quite funny,” she muttered, momentarily dejected, before straightening up again. “Never mind, I’ll just tell you frankly. Actually, I find it a bit difficult to deal with people in my class. Although I get along well with my classmates, it’s just… not quite ideal.”

Her explanation left me half understanding, half confused.

“Then, my two best friends are in other classes, so I founded this club, called ‘Chatterbox Society.’ We usually just chat here after school. They’re both busy today, but I’ll introduce them to you next week.”

“It’s a wonder the school approved such a frivolous club for you all…”

“The three of us are top-tier students, you know,” she stated proudly. “Isn’t it only right that we have a few privileges?”

I looked at her, this girl named Yu Tianman. Unlike before, this time I truly scrutinized her. Although I had only just met her and couldn’t yet fully grasp what kind of person she was, her backpack bore the Woodpecker brand, and her canvas shoes were DICKIES. Furthermore, her every gesture and articulation suggested she had received etiquette training, indicating she was, at the very least, from a wealthy family. As for her appearance, she was likely pretty, though I found it hard to discern; yet, her skin and hair clearly received regular care. Combining all these observations, her claim of privileges became quite convincing.

“Since you’re such good friends, why go to the trouble of creating a special club? Couldn’t you just meet up privately?”

“Well…” A hint of sadness flickered across her face, but as her eyes met mine, she masked it with a smile. “Chatting at school just has a better atmosphere, you know? It feels more… youthful.”

‘Perhaps there was another meaning behind the club’s establishment, harboring some deeper, personal motive of Yu Tianman’s. She wouldn’t make it public, and I didn’t particularly care, except…’

“Is it really alright for me to join a club like this?” I asked. “You clearly founded it specifically to chat with your friends.”

Our gazes met once more, though this time, a more explicit message was conveyed. Perhaps discerning others’ thoughts without relying on words was a method better suited to us.

“It’s perfectly fine,” she said with a smile. “I’m not letting you join out of gratitude for your help yesterday. Rather, I thought this club might be more interesting with you in it.”

‘Interesting’—a word that rarely applied to me. Yet, the expression on her face didn’t suggest she was joking.

“I don’t have the confidence to blend in with you all,” I admitted, recalling my past attempts at conversation. “I’m not very good at small talk.”

“But you’ve already chatted so much with me,” her smile was gentle and kind. “Besides, you don’t *have* to blend in. Just say what you want to say. ‘Seeking common ground while preserving differences’ is the motto of our Chatterbox Society.”

I offered no further reply, for I had nothing more to say. The activity room was now serenely tranquil. Through its window, I could see the setting sun casting a deepening golden hue, and hear the rhythmic thwack of rackets from the sports field. Listening closely, I could even discern the faint music drifting from shops in the street outside the school. I sat quietly, and she sat quietly too. I looked out the window, observing that she was also gazing out.

“Well, it’s getting late,” I said, pulling my backpack from between us. My words and movements startled her, and she turned her head to watch me stand. “May I leave now?”

“Mm, of course,” she replied, rising as well. “Do you have something urgent to attend to?”

“No, not really.”

“Then let’s head back together,” she said with a smile. “You’re taking that road home too, aren’t you? We should be going the same way until then.”

****

‘I possess an unyielding core. A core untouched by the crafting of words, unbargaining with dreams, unmoved by time, joy, or adversity. I have never entrusted it to anyone, nor revealed its existence.’

Yet, at this moment, I found myself repeatedly glancing at Yu Tianman, who walked beside me. Each time she noticed my gaze, she would respond with a smile. There were no cheerful voices or laughter along the way, not even the most basic conversation—just two people walking the same path together, their steps subtly synchronized. Surprisingly, I found it incredibly comfortable.

The twilight painted her individual strands of hair a golden hue. A gentle breeze stirred, insects chirped among the foliage, and the vast blue sky and sea seemed to become mere backdrops for her. She was, in this moment, singularly beautiful.

I watched her, then slowly came to a stop.

“Our paths diverge here,” I told her, only to see her dart across the road to the opposite side, waving at me.

“What would you like to drink?” She approached a vending machine and ordered a bottle of jasmine tea for herself. “Do you want the same as me?”

“I’ll just have a Nescafé.”

“Whoa, going for the most expensive one right off the bat!”

“I can buy it myself.”

“Just kidding, this one’s on me,” she said, pressing the button. Then, she gently pressed her skirt against her hips, slowly squatting to retrieve the drink from the dispenser and hand it to me. “Usually, guys would rush to pay in situations like this.”

“Why?” I asked, curious.

“It’s probably a kind of courtesy,” she chuckled awkwardly. “Though my friends say it’s about masculinity, a matter of dignity, and all that.”

“What exactly is masculinity?”

“How would *I* know something like that? I’m a girl!” she complained, twisting open her drink and taking a sip. Then she looked at me. “Do you have any plans for the weekend tomorrow?”

“Generally, no,” I replied, instinctively excluding weekend homework. “While I plan to play games and watch movies, those aren’t set in stone.”

“In that case, does that mean if I invite you this weekend, you’d be free to come anytime?”

“Mm-hm.”

“Is that so…? That’s wonderful!” Her lips curved into a crescent moon, and her eyes sparkled with delight. “Let’s exchange contact information!”

“Which kind? QQ, WeChat, phone number?”

“Why not all of them?” she chided playfully. “Quick, get your phone out!”

And so, we stood there foolishly by the roadside, facing each other, heads bowed, scanning each other’s phones and swiping our fingers across the screens.

Afterward, she playfully retreated a few steps, her smiling eyes twinkling as she waved goodbye to me. “Well then, see you next time!” Her words were a farewell, yet they held a hint of a lingering invitation.